Search Results for: when does homeschooling become normal

When does homeschooling become "normal"?

May 21, 2013 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

As moms when we lack sleep because of endless hours nursing the baby, shuffle a family schedule to line up with dad’s chaotic work schedule, or have our own health issues gnawing at us, a ‘normal'” school schedule can seem a challenge to say the least. It seems to be some elusive lifestyle that alludes us.

Tied in with that feeling of wanting to be normal is the negative thought that only through normalcy will we accomplish anything or succeed at homeschooling.

Focusing on things that we have no control over, but realizing that we are just like everybody else will help curb negative thoughts. We all struggle from time to time, you are not alone. If you are new, you might get more woes in your first couple of years of homeschooling. Seasoned veterans might experience challenges several years down the road after they have enjoyed many blissful years.

The point in dealing with these struggles is to realize that when our time, energy, minds and hearts are focused on ONE thing, like succeeding in homeschooling, we don’t have time to focus on what we cannot do. There is no room in our minds for negative thoughts to drain us of priceless energy.

Habits are formed by a lot of hard work and determination. This is the same for our habit of thinking. By allowing negative thoughts to creep back into our minds, and they will from time to time because we are just human, it will take our FOCUS off of succeeding.

True, we may wish our present stressing circumstance to go away. However, it is more realistic to realize that it is our minds we have control over and nothing else. Work hard at forming the habit to be more positive in our thinking.

Avoid extremes when you are going through hard times and want your homeschooling life style to return to normal. Remember that circumstances are TEMPORARY at most.

Accepting your present limitations, keeping your mind singularly focused on what you CAN do will energize you.

Support groups, family members, a fellow homeschooler and being around other people who have a desire to succeed in homeschooling will keep your fire raging when you feel you’re smoldering.

Homeschooling never becomes normal, we MAKE it happen each day, one day at a time.

Be sure to go through my Free 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers.

Hugs and you can do it,

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Day 23 When Your Child Hates Homeschooling And New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp

November 9, 2022 | 12 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today is day 23 when your child hates homeschooling of the 31 Day Free Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers.

Turning to a serious note, I want to address one more mind-set that could potentially debunk your smooth new beginnings.

And that is the attitudes of you and your children toward your new lifestyle.

Not long into your journey you may hate homeschooling. Your children may hate homeschooling.

Day 23 When Your Child Hates Homeschooling And New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp #hateshomeschooling

So, this week is called “When It Happens” because I want to arm you with some positive thoughts that will help you to sail past any feelings of pestering doubt.

Also though it can feel flat out defeating when your child hates homeschooling.

First, it is normal to come down off the homeschool honeymoon.

First Time Homeschooler

Crazy as it sounds, homeschooling is like a honeymoon and similar to how your life changes after the wedding.

Everybody looks so good dressed up in their best on their wedding day and the start of anything new is beautiful and memorable.

However, day to day routines and chores set in and it is about cooking, working and cleaning.

Beginning to homeschool and settling in to a new routine is similar.

The new books have lost that delightful new smell and now you question if it was a good fit in the first place.

Your room, your routine and your reading program don’t look as good as they did when you first selected them.

New Beginnings Homeschool

However, that only compounds the feelings of inadequacy if your children also tell you that they hate homeschooling, miss their friends and want to go back to school.

Now your journey calls for sheer grit and an iron will.

Over the years, I have had many homeschool parents tell me that since their children are missing their public school friends that they were returning to public school.

Even though I feel that my face may show my utter disbelief that a child of any age is dictating his future, I can say thankfully I have never responded in a negative way.

10 Questions When Your Child Hates Homeschooling

The truth of it is, we all need to self-analyze and be prepared to answer mind-numbing questions like these:

When does a child determine what is best for him?
Who has been given the responsibility to train and educate a child, even a teen?
Can I change something about the way I teach so that my child is more engaged? Is this the missing component in our homeschool day?
Have I loitered too much at home when my child obviously needs friends?
If I have driven myself almost insane by having my child participate in socialization activities, then is my child’s attitude an obedient one toward the decision that his father and I have made?
Has my child fallen victim to the faulty thinking that friends have to be their same age? Or have I?
Are the friends that my child may have left behind at public school and their parents the kind of people that I would treasure for my child for a lifetime? Would they encourage my son in the paths of goodness?
Instead of ruling with an iron will, can I show my child that I am open to his needs, without him thinking that the has the right to determine what is best for him at 10 years old or 17 years old?
Do I keep asking my child if he is missing his friends, and by inference he is thinking that he missing out on something?
Do I TRULY believe that I am giving my child a superior education and show it by my actions and commitment?

As you can see homeschooling a lot of times becomes more about parenting or the lack thereof, which makes this a very delicate but sober topic to bring up.

Here are some tips that I have found that work over the years when others have said their child hates homeschooling.

5 Empower Yourself Tips When the Little Dear Doesn't Want to Homeschool @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

5 Tried and True Tips for First Time Homeschoolers

If you or your child hates homeschooling, look at my five tried and true tips below.

1. Do not threaten to send your child to public school.

From the beginning of your journey, do not use the thought of returning to public school as a way to entice a child to do his work or change his attitude.

From my experience and as unintentional as we may mean it, a child may feel they he has been given a choice and is on equal footing with us.

Even teens need to understand that they are not co-parents.

2. Your attitude matters more than you realize.

The attitude of the parents mean more to your child than you realize.

For example, if you are constantly asking your children if they miss their friends, well meaning as you are, could you be planting a seed of doubt that your new lifestyle is not superior in every way?

Creating doubt fosters dilemmas.

3. Go gentle with your child as they now see you as teacher.

Sometimes it is not homeschooling that is the negative, but children may now resent you as the teacher.

This happened to me when I took Mr. Senior 2013 out in Kindergarten and I still had to retrieve back my status as teacher from a 5 year old.

Children are smart at a very early age and it takes time for them to now respect you as the teacher.

You don’t need their approval.

4. Homeschooling is a different way of learning and is hard for some kids in the beginning.

There is no sweet cake way to put it, but homeschooling can be flat out hard. Studying is more than finding an answer or superficial reading.

It is about comparing, analyzing and tying it into something your child knows.

Some children are not prepared for studying the depth of any subject.

Up until this time, your child may have had many interruptions in class time.

Short spurts of critical thinking in a classroom cannot prepare your child for the possible challenges of intense 1:1 help he now gets.

Day 23 When Your Child Hates Homeschooling And New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp

When my sister’s daughter started homeschooling in the 3rd grade, they had crying matches each day.

My sister was pushing too hard to “complete” a day’s assignments and my niece was feeling quite behind from what she did not know. A lethal combination leads to misery.

I cannot emphasize enough that if she had gone with a lower grade level for her first year instead of pushing ahead thinking that her daughter would get behind, her first year would have been way more easier.

5. Children deserve explanations. It’s one thing to give explanations, but quite another to make lifelong choices.

Dignifying your children with explanations is a beautiful thing because they deserve it.

It is okay to tell them your plans, hopes and even fears, but dignifying them with information does not mean they have the right to question your choices.

I made it my determination from the beginning that if anything controversial ever came up and my children wanted to return to public school that I would do whatever it took to not have that happen.

And that children have to experience bad to appreciate good is not thinking I aggre with. I don’t have to cut off my right arm to appreciate my left.

They do not need to experience the negative effects of peer pressure, drugs and immorality to appreciate good.

New Homeschooler

I never left it up to my sons to determine if they wanted to go back to school. When you child hates homeschooling, it’s never easy to hear.

However, whatever the reason, take time to listen to your child and make right what you can.

Of course, this is different if you start homeschooling when your teen is already in 11th or 12th grade.

That is a very different circumstance and I am not saying they get all the final say so as to the decision.

It never is easy when the little dear does not want to homeschool and decides he wants to return to public school.

Fortifying yourself now with the mind-set that homeschooling is YOUR way of life will allow you to embrace it’s benefits.

I am not encouraging homeschooling without regard for your children’s tender feelings.

But it is about finding a solution that does not involve returning to what you left in the first place because it didn’t work.

Instead of focusing on what you think your child is missing out on, focus on what you and your child will be included in and NOT just for this year, but years to come.

Homeschool with a goal in mind that goes beyond your first or second year and when the dear decides he doesn’t want to homeschool, you will already have a back up plan in place.

New to Homeschooling Start with the Basics

1 – 7 Start with the Homeschool Basics

8-14 Homeschool Organization 101 for Beginners

15 – 21 Best tips for New Homeschoolers Choosing Curriculum

22- 28 Homeschool Preschoolers, Highschoolers, and Unique Learners

Day 22 Homeschooling Preschoolers

Hugs and hang in there if this happens and know you are not alone,

Day 3 What is NOT Homeschooling and New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp

August 4, 2022 | 7 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today is day 3: What is NOT homeschooling in the free 31 Day Free Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers.

New homeschoolers tend to have a picture in their mind of what homeschooling is and normally it looks a lot like public school.

I have found through the years that sometimes it is easier to explain what homeschooling is by telling you what it is NOT.

Day 3 What is NOT Homeschooling and New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp

Begin with these three quick mindset shifts.

3 Ways to Know What is NOT Homeschooling

1. Homeschooling is NOT school at home.

If the public school system is not working now, why repeat it? You don’t have to have a chalkboard, dry erase board or even a school room.

Some families prefer a schoolroom, others don’t and still others just don’t have the space for one. A school room or lack of it does not make a true homeschooler.

A school room is fine if you want one, though set it up to suit YOU. When I started formally homeschooling my sons were 5 years old and 3 years old and newborn. A schoolroom was a place I could organize all of our school items.

I did not hail to the way of thinking that just because we did some of our academics in our schoolroom that my children would grow up thinking that learning only took place in the schoolroom.

I brought in a couch to my school room to be comfortable on while I nursed my newborn and a changing table to my school area so that I wouldn’t have to leave my oldest as he was learning to read.

Don't set up your school like public school.

At that particular time in my journey, my schoolroom was a huge life saver in helping me to control chaos when I had little help from my young children.

Training was in progress to help them to begin a day, have good study habits and help with chores around the house. My schoolroom gave me a sense of control that was needed at that time when I could control very little else going on with children that young.

Include an area for fun hands-on homeschooling.

The thinking that learning just took place in schoolroom was balanced with the fact that the other part of our day was spent lounging around the house reading, playing games, and doing science and history. My children showed me that they will learn because of the loving environment their father and I created instead of doing school in one area or another.

Other families prefer to have their items all over the house. Each family is different and needs to determine how and where to school. From personal experience, if you have ANY area you can possible use, try to start with organization now by keeping a good amount of your school items in one area.

2. Dumbed down academics is not homeschooling either but you do want proof of homeschool success.

Do not try to win debates by explaining your choice to those that criticize it. Present some facts to the naysayers and grab some for yourself too.

Grab some facts from the National Home Education Research Institute. What is NHERI?

From their site: NHERI conducts and collects research about homeschooling (home-based education, home schooling), and publishes the research journal called the Home School Researcher

. The institute has hundreds of research works documented and catalogued on home schooling, many of which were done by NHERI. Simply put, NHERI specializes in homeschool research.

Click here for the research.

{loving, learning, fostering sibling togetherness – what more could I ask for?}

3. Homeschooling does not mean we have follow grade levels.

There is not a bigger mistake than taking your kids out of the grade level they were in and putting them in the next grade level in homeschool.

As homeschoolers we don’t follow grade levels. We find the true level of each child and make the curriculum match the child.

In addition, we match each subject to our kids’ strength and weaknesses.

New Homeschooler

So, what is homeschooling and the homeschooling lifestyle?

Day to day meaningful conversations become a normal part of teaching your children. I

t is about getting to know your son or daughter that you thought you knew so well before.

Allowing your children to hear your expressions each day of your love for learning. Homeschooling becomes more about parenting while learning takes place.

Also, letting go of burdensome homework and allowing more time for free play and a simple childhood become the norm.

Eventually the line between living and learning becomes blurred.

This is a good thing and you are no longer living for your curricula, but making curricula serve your lifestyle. It is about playing together, working together, worshipping together and learning together.

Define your mission and your goals because they are your foot holds to guide you through your journey.

Go here to Step 5a. Choose Unique forms JUST for You!
Not a kazillion other people download my forms for a Homeschool Mission Statement and jot down your goals.

Appreciating that homeschooling is not a mere academic choice but a lifestyle change will help you to seize ALL that homeschooling offers.

New to Homeschool

Also, look at a few other things about me.

I am the author of the book Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers: When You Don’t Know Where to Begin

And I have a detailed self-paced online homeschool Kickstarter course. It is a detailed comprehensive course for first time homeschoolers.

That is enough about me.

This new homeschoolers free boot camp is about you. I’ve not only been helping new homeschoolers in person, but here at my site for years.

Other New Homeschooler Resources:

What is NOT Homeschooling! 31 Days of New Bee Homeschooler Blog Boot Camp

The Dos & Don’ts When You Hit A Learning Plateau in Homeschooling

December 10, 2017 | 4 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

The stages of learning can be like the ocean. It can be churning and grinding and you can ride high on the swells and then it can dip down low and almost be motionless.

When You Hit A Learning Plateau in Homeschooling

Everybody at one time or another rides those waves of learning. Surviving the wild ride though can be quite another thing.

Also, it can be hard to know if the rest of your children are on target because you may only have the experience of your oldest child, which may not have struggled much with any subjects.

If you plow ahead with the curriculum like something is wrong with your child instead of the curriculum or the skill that is being taught, then you might be banging your head against a wall.

Believe me, I have done it and not only does it zap you of energy, but tears normally follow.

Here are some things that have worked not only for my boys, but also for others that I have helped.

Are You Making these Mistakes When You Hit a Homeschool Learning Plateau? The stages of learning can be like the ocean. It can be churning and grinding and you can ride high on the swells and then it can dip down low and almost be motionless. Click here to grab some tried and true tips!

4 Short Cuts to Overcoming Learning Plateaus in Homeschooling

Do stop. You may think that this is easy to do, but not when you feel like your kids are already behind. The reason to stop is to re-evaluate so that you can make progress. It’s hard to remember, but stay honed in on the goal that you want your children to learn instead of completing assigned work.
Do communicate with your child. Don’t try to figure this out by yourself. If your child can talk and explain his feelings, then he should be able to tell you how he feels. No, you are not looking for him to figure out the problem, that is your job. Let him express how this skill or subject makes him feel. From the youngest child to the teen, all they want is to know we are listening. Listen not just with your ears, but with your heart. Listen for key words that tell you if he is frustrated. If he is, this could mean that he is not developmental ready for the material. Too, this may give you a clue that it may be that nasty old word: rebellion. Your child may not be hitting a learning plateau at all, but might be heading toward being a learning rebel. More times than not though, my experience has been that it is a learning plateau.
Do take advantage of free online tests or consultations. Children just need time at certain stages in their life and learning to marinate a little longer with subjects. So going back over what they know does not make them get behind, but actually they become masters of learning. For example, when teaching a child how to read, don’t move them on to the next level book if they struggle with each page at the current level. Move them down a notch to a book they have mastered and it will boost confidence, instill a love for reading, and give them a real can do attitude. Too, it allows them to stay at that skill level until they are ready for the next skill. Also, most homeschool friendly companies are very parent friendly and they know best how their curriculum should be used. Call them and convey your concerns. Give them a chance to give you a tip or two.

Vary the routine or approach. This seems to be the biggest hurdle to overcoming a learning plateau. One year, Mr. Awesome was struggling with grammar and vocabulary. I realized that he wasn’t understanding it when reading on his own. Even though we discussed it orally, he didn’t get it when he did the practice problems. It was hard to determine if we were on target or if he needed to go down a level. I started doing the whole lesson orally and he got past the plateau. At that time, he learned better by still interacting with me. We were able to go ahead with it, but I had to change what I was doing because he understood it better by using his auditory skills and hands-on index cards. I made it fun by using index cards to stick all over him to help him remember words. We took what could have been something we both were frustrated with and turned it into fun and something memorable. I value the look on his face and the fun he has had because that is what has spurred us on now into his high school years.
Don’t compare children. And, I don’t mean just within your family.That is something as home educators we almost never try to do in our own home, but then we look at other families’ children and try to go there. It never works. For example, I have seen some kids who are very knowledgeable on rocks, or caves, or dinosaurs, but then another child who hardly mentions the words in their school. What are we to surmise? That one child is ahead and the other child is behind. A huge No! Homeschoolers are as unique as each of your children and the truth of it is that many homeschoolers can go through their whole journey and never do an in depth study of rocks, caves or dinosaurs. Children do not need to learn the same in depth level on each subject. This is a true gem in homeschooling because we don’t produce miniature robots of each other. Find out what you want YOUR child to know from this skill or subject and move on or stay on it.

If you have to stay on a skill or level or even return weeks or months later to it, count your blessings that you have the freedom to do so.

Like the ocean, learning has an ebb and flow and you will not always be moving forward.

Sometimes you just have to float gently along and take in the sites. When you do, try to remember that floating along is still forward movement, even in baby steps. That is progress.

Have you hit a learning plateau yet? What do you do?

Homeschooling Stubborn Teens: Not for the Faint of Heart

November 8, 2017 | 2 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

While homeschooling through the years we confront with dogged determination many scenarios which makes us weak at the knees or makes our heart skip a beat. But, nothing comes even close to the enemy in our own midst – our sweet child turned stubborn, unmotivated, and seemingly lazy teen. Homeschooling stubborn teens is not for the faint of heart.

I’ve learned that although it’s easier to blame my teens for everything that went wrong, I too had to learn how to parent differently. As each of my sons reached the teen years, I’ve had to become more resourceful and creative in how I homeschool them.

Avoiding drama in your house is not all together impossible, but you can curb it and cope with it by learning from my mistakes.

3 PARENTING TECHNIQUES FOR HOMESCHOOLING STUBBORN TEENS

Whether your teen has been homeschooled from the beginning, came willing to homeschool after many years in public school or had no choice, he wants choices now.

One/ Focus on the teen, not the school.

However, before you can get to choices, the number one mistake made by many homeschooling families is to focus on homeschool. Yep, wrong focus right now.

The teacher in us is ready to go, but the mom in us should lead right now. Problems, whether academic or developmental, signal something is wrong.

Although a teen can now vocalize that he hates math or writing and is seen as unmotivated, that’s only the result of what is going on inside.

Before assuming it’s a lack of motivation, step back, and deschool. You can’t move forward until you and your teen are both ready.

Coming into adulthood takes a toll daily on your teen and he needs you now more than ever.

Two/ Deschool now before it’s too late.

Look at ways you can step back, deschool, and focus. Move forward by stepping back instead of butting heads:

If he hates math, ask him which subjects he does like. Use that knowledge to plan a routine. For example, get the worst subjects out of the way at his peak time and in a place he chooses. Explain to him that he can make those choices, however, if he is not doing his math because he decided to lie down on his bed, then it’ll have to change. I had one son that just because he could sit on his bed, he was in the right mindset to do math which was a subject he hated. He did well and eventually later in high school, he moved to the table. Give him some choice. BUT, first take time to not do school while you question him (few questions in the beginning) about subjects he likes and doesn’t like. Help him to make a routine for the day he loves while satisfying your requirements.
Next, do something he wants to do. For us, it was skateboarding, bicycling and watching movies. I told my teens to not do school for a few days while they played. My teens praised me as the best homeschooling mom ever (ha, but I had a motive). Like all smart moms who want their sons to do well in academics, I knew that they had to see first that I was reasonable. After they played for a few days and I could see it winding down, I discussed with each one how to work in what they liked doing while balancing their academic load. It worked. They knew I was reasonable, but had expectations. Including them in the discussion gave them the control they wanted.
Focus on when the rebellion occurs. For example, I knew our problem was an over scheduling problem with one of my teens. The rest of the day he was pretty compliant barring a few bad moods. Over all, the sulking and back talking happened only during school. Stepping back and allowing my teen to rest gave me time to understand how many credits I wanted for middle or high school teen. I reworked his schedule. However, if your teen is complaining pretty much the whole day, then it’s a parenting or rebellious issue and homeschooling is getting a bum rap.

Three/ Over ambitious homeschooling can backfire.

It’s easy to say when your child is five or six years old what he will and will not do as a teen, but it’s quite a different thing scheduling for him at 15 or 16 years old.

While it may be true that a teen doesn’t have to love learning because work places or colleges don’t care if he does, it never worked when I told them that.

I’ve never made progress with my sons when I vented and I normally had nothing helpful to say when I lost it.

Pushing my sons to do college courses early while in high school, having them take jobs too early, and do heavier maths because they were hardworking could’ve backfired.

Stepping back to reaffirm that heart schooling was just as important as academics helped me to solidify the fact that homeschooling is a lifestyle. I want my sons to homeschool their sons because I believe it’s the best way to teach a child.

HOMESCHOOLING TEENS WITH THE FUTURE IN MIND

Homeschooling with a future generation in mind helped me realize that I wholeheartedly believe learning is a privilege.

Curbing my desire to sock it to my boys with their academic load while being teens helped us to not only lap up the precious teen years, but love every minute of it.

Sometimes the solution to a problem was to just stop. And remembering each teen is different helped me to see problems from each kid’s perspective. Can you relate?

What kind of problems are you trying to overcome with your teen?

When your teens are grown and look back at how you didn’t give up on them, all of the hard times will be memories. You’ll only see the beautiful man or woman thanking you. Your knees will then be weak for another reason – overwhelming happy emotion.

Also, you’ll find these other articles super helpful. Don’t give up now. You’re almost there.

Hugs and love ya,

Search Results for: when does homeschooling become normal

When does homeschooling become "normal"?

Homeschooling never becomes normal, we MAKE it happen each day, one day at a time.

Day 23 When Your Child Hates Homeschooling And New Homeschooler Free Bootcamp

First Time Homeschooler

New Beginnings Homeschool

10 Questions When Your Child Hates Homeschooling

5 Tried and True Tips for First Time Homeschoolers

1. Do not threaten to send your child to public school.

2. Your attitude matters more than you realize.

3. Go gentle with your child as they now see you as teacher.

4. Homeschooling is a different way of learning and is hard for some kids in the beginning.

5. Children deserve explanations. It’s one thing to give explanations, but quite another to make lifelong choices.

New Homeschooler