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The NOT To Do List: 32 Things New Homeschoolers Should Avoid

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Asking a group of seasoned homeschool moms is the best way to find out 32 things new homeschoolers should avoid.

I’m reminded of what my homeschooling mother used to say. You learn new things one of two ways. One is by example and other is by experience.

Instead of learning the homeschooling ropes the hard way by having to experiment on your kids, learn how to homeschool from those who’ve gone ahead of you or from their example.

Mistakes New Homeschoolers Should Avoid

Besides, nobody wants to experiment on their kids, but it happens.

The NOT To Do List: 32 Things New Homeschoolers Should Avoid

Hoping to lessen your stress of beginning new to homeschool, look at these 32 things new homeschoolers should avoid.

Homeschooling Mistakes

Beginning to homeschool with unrealistic expectations is joy zapping and it’s huge among things new homeschoolers should avoid.

  • You don’t have to run your homeschool day like other homeschool moms although they may tout only one way works.
  • Keep pushing curriculum which isn’t working is another big do not do.
  • Thinking your kids will all learn the same way is another hurdle. It’s okay to use various programs to meet each child’s needs.
  • Curriculum is a tool, not the boss. You are the boss.
  • Do not jump into a rigid schedule. Give yourself AND your kids time to adjust to homeschooling. Look at my post The Sticking Power of a Solid Homeschool Schedule.

Mistakes to Avoid When Homeschooling for the First Time

  • Thinking your school needs to look like public school with tons of worksheets and textbooks is another mistake. Your school doesn’t have to look like public school. Look at my post The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home.
  • Don’t stress over the small stuff. Learning doesn’t just happen with a book in a kid’s face. Learning happens through everyday interaction and meaningful conversations. Take time to deschool and understand what it means for your family.
  • Do not think you have to cram everything a child needs to learn in a day. Take it one day at a time.
  • You’re not a one act entertaining committee. Sometimes learning is not always fun, it’s just learning. Constantly feeling like everyday has to be over the top fun is exhausting and can zap the joy out of the day.
  • Don’t forget to ask your kids what they want to learn. It’s their education. When you have a willing participant in homeschooling, kids work harder and retain what they’re learning. That makes your job easier.

Homeschooling Potholes to Avoid

  • Do not skip field trips. They are essential to bringing learning to life. Kids learn by being out in the world.
  • Don’t underestimate the value of play. Playing is the first introduction to self-education.
  • Assuming homeschooling will be expensive is another mistake. You can spend as little or as much as you want depending on your needs.
  • Know the difference between homeschooling and public school at home. Don’t assume you have to purchase a government based online public school. Look at my post Transitioning from a Public School Mindset to a Relaxed Homeschooling Lifestyle.
  • Using curriculum because somebody else uses it is a costly mistake.

What NOT to Do When You Begin Homeschooling

Also, why do we focus only our kids’ needs when beginning to homeschool? When you focus on your education which doesn’t have to take long you truly can help each child meet his potential.

  • Forcing socialization is another mistake to avoid. Over worrying how to socialize your kids is consuming. It’s like saying after kids graduate they’ll never make friends. Kids make friends through their whole journey and on into adulthood. Look at my posts Is Homeschooling Right for Your Family? Hear From the Kids and Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination.
  • Don’t be a perfectionist. You’ll mess up, your kids will mess up. Tomorrow starts a new and fresh day.
  • Homeschooled kids don’t need to be in class the same amount of time as public schooled kids. We simply do not have the same distractions.
  • You don’t have to follow state educational standards. Knowing your state homeschool laws is the first place to start.
  • Don’t give up in February because the winter slump is real. Spring will come soon. Hang in there. Look at my post 10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope).
The NOT To Do List: 32 Things New Homeschoolers Should Avoid

New to Homeschooling

  • Don’t write your lesson plans in pen. The first sick day and you’re feeling behind. Plan just a few weeks out.

And finally, do NOT think you can’t do this. You absolutely one hundred percent can.

You’ll love my book, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers: When You Don’t Know Where to Begin.

You’ll experience one or two mistakes, but they can be minimized. There seems to only be two mindsets when new homeschoolers start.

There are over achievers who are looking to right all the wrongs in a few months or under achievers who feel a rich learning environment just happens with no intentional effort of the parent.

Neither mindset works, but it can set you for failure. Achieving balance is absolutely key in your first year of homeschooling.

Do you find you’re making some of these mistakes already?

You’ll love some more tips below about how to start homeschooling:

Hugs and love ya,

When Homeschooling is Sucking the Life Out of You

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I must be doing this wrong because homeschooling is sucking the life out of me. I hear it a lot and I felt like that at one time too.

When Homeschooling Sucks the Life Out of You

Too, a lot of families who bring kids from public school can find it harder to appreciate the homeschooling lifestyle; many families who have homeschooled from the beginning equally can struggle.

Add in the mix of kids’ lackadaisical attitude toward anything, let alone school work and you have a recipe for quitting.

When Homeschooling Is Sucking the Life Out of You

You may even feel public school is better for your kids.

Although I don’t claim to have all the answers, from my over 20+ years of homeschooling from prek to high school AND conducting workshops with new homeschoolers, I do have tips that will help you.

Besides, I care. I mean I TRULY care about your success.

I KNOW the homeschooling lifestyle is a superior approach to education. I will tell you why in a minute.

Am I Selfish For Wanting to Send Them to Public School

Homeschooling being superior may not be a popular mindset among public school advocates, but I’m not here to win a popularity contest; I want to see you succeed without you feeling like you have to give life and limb for a lifestyle which is backed by numbers.

I’m here to tell you that you CAN succeed without tons of anxiety and stress and how it can be done.

First, it starts with knowing stats.

Don’t get me wrong, I love math and science, but it’s not the way I normally help people. However, we need to start with an analytical view before I speak from my heart.

When Emotions Are High Judgment Is Low

See when our emotions close in on us and doubt hits our day whether we’re doing enough or not, numbers like how much time we spend teaching our child doesn’t change.

What I’m saying is that one-to-one tutoring is a superior approach to thirty kids to one teacher. It’s simply a matter of odds and time.

Even at times when I felt I was at my breaking point like when my husband almost died, and my sister too, my kids learned way more at that time about what was really important.

Additionally because we did get behind when life hit hard, I was able to catch up far quicker than public school. We did NOT have to wait for a full school year or until other kids got the concepts.

My focus was simply my kids and my family. Although I didn’t feel like I was in control of my life and homeschool and sometimes I wasn’t, I know now that I definitely was.

Unless you’ve checked completely out, meaning you’re not doing one thing to teach your child like having meaningful conversations with him, reading to him, or playing with him, the odds are STILL in your favor of succeeding.

Also, get some more research and stats from this site National Home Education Research Institute to see how homeschoolers really are succeeding.

How to Go From a Crippled to Confident Mindset

I was making the best decisions based on the odds and time actually spent.

Whenever I feel that deep down nagging tug that I’m not doing enough, I remind myself of how much time it actually takes to homeschool.

We have time for many interruptions at home and still have time to make progress.

So I changed my mindset from a choice of sending my kids to public school as my default solution to one of using my time to make homeschool work to the best I could. Instead of putting energy into an approach where my kids odds of learning were actually lowered, I made the homeschooling lifestyle priority.

Next, before I jump into sharing multiple tried and true tips to cope when homeschooling sucks, I want you to know that I don’t believe one should homeschool at all cost.

That belief too is not exactly a popular one with some of the faith-based community.

With all of my heart I know that homeschooling is a superior approach because a child gets a uniquely individualized education; however, there are other factors like health, mental health, and even finances which deter some families.

Homeschooling your children is a very personal decision and one that a family should make for their children without guilt or judgment.

We really do not know what goes on inside of every family’s home and so I respect the decision each family has to make.

10 Tried and True Trips When Homeschooling Sucks

Next, look at these ten tips to cope when homeschooling is sucking the life out of you.

Tip. 1. Just STOP, STEP AWAY, and RESET.

First, we may think we have to keep pushing. Why do we do that to ourselves and our kids?

When in fact, from a complete stop comes rejuvenation, power, and refocus. Sometimes we can try to squeeze homeschooling into a busy life. We may need to stop and look at our schedule again to see what is really important to keep and what can we let go.

Tip 2. Deschool.

A lot is said about deschooling in the homeschool world. Some of it I agree with, other information not so much.

Deschooling is not just something you do when you’re a new homeschooler. It’s a technique for burn out too.

Look at some of these ways to use the deschooling process:

  • Do you need rest? STOP. Take care of your needs and your children’s physical needs. There is nothing selfish about self-care. A break does not mean a stop. It just means a break.
  • Did you jump from public school to homeschool without really taking the time to know how your children learn? Putting your child in the next grade because public school said they belong in a grade is a huge newbie mistake. It take times to know how your children learn and you can do that with inexpensive to free curriculum until you know your child’s learning personality.
  • Deschooling does not always mean idleness. Deschooling is different for each family. I know kids who do well with routine. However, can you scale back your expectations until whatever is the object of the stress subsides? Have you heard of the power of little done often? It’s true.

Furthermore, I share tips here on my video How to Deschool – Are You Doomed If You’ve Never Deschooled.

Tip 3. Do a Unit Study.

Additionally, I switched from boxed curriculum to unit studies many years ago.

Little did I recognize then the full and positive impact they would have on our day and now our journey.

Unit studies can take a bit more time to plan; the return is the satisfaction of learning exactly what interests us.

When homeschooling loses his luster, try a different approach. You may need to just switch approaches instead of quitting homeschooling.

Look at my post Top 5 Approaches New Homeschoolers Need to Know to know you’re following the approach that is best for your family and that you’re not repeating public school at home.

Tip 4. Use Nap Time to Tidy Up.

Moreover, if you have a younger household and still have naptime, use about 15 or 20 minutes of the time for a quick tidy up.

Even though it may not be the type of cleaning you really need, don’t forget the power of little. Every bit counts when you have a house full of littles.

I used to run myself almost completely ragged while two of my kids napped.

Twenty years later, I realized some of the time should have been spent relaxing and just sitting down to put my feet up.

Tip 5. Occupy the Older Kids with their Devices During Naptime.

Likewise, something else I shouldn’t have felt guilt about was allowing my older kids to be entertained while my young children slept.

Thinking I had to constantly school my kids when I was at the point of exhaustion was not balanced.

Homeschooling at all costs, even costing your health is not healthy.

It’s okay to allow kids time to entertain themselves while you rest.

Tip 6. Read.

In addition to using naptime to rest, reading has been one of my best ways to relax.

I read an article that stated: “researchers found that reading is one of the best ways to relax, and even six minutes can be enough to reduce the stress levels by more than two-thirds.“

Too, what I’ve learned now is that even if all we did was reading for the day it was enough.

My kid’s fondest childhood memories are of us reading together as a family.

Reading IS school; all the elements needed for learning like concentration, comprehending, and studying are associated with reading.

Also, reading aloud to your kids has many key benefits, but remember taking time to read what you enjoy rejuvenates YOUR love of learning. That is equally important.

I know you’ll love my book, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers: When You Don’t Know Where to Begin.

Tip 7. Do a 4-Day Schedule.

Next, one year I switched to a 4-day schedule and never looked back. It’s true, at home we can accomplish more in less time.

However, until you try it you don’t really know.

When I switched to a 4-day schedule, it was one of the BEST things I did early in our journey.

I took off Monday to have a slower start to the beginning of the week. Taking time to get caught up on house cleaning, meal planning, and bill paying gave me a sense of control when my kids were very young.

As my kids grew older and could help more with chores, I switched to having off Friday as a day to rest and rejuvenate.

Look at my posts Should You Switch to a 4-Day Homeschool Schedule and The Sticking Power of a Solid Homeschool Schedule.

Tip 8. Take Time to Educate the Educator.

Another tip I learned was that some of my part in the feeling of lackluster towards homeschool was I didn’t take time to educate myself.

Why do we not think twice about dropping hundreds of dollars on our kids’ education, but don’t take time to learn how to choose curriculum or how to get organized?

Educating children is rewarding and at the same time it’s one of the most draining jobs I’ve ever done.

I needed the essentials in how to homeschool to smooth my path as I educate my children.

Many years, I ago I taught workshops to new homeschoolers and wrote a curriculum.

Having taught that workshop for 10 years, I now put those workshops online for you.

You’ll love my self-paced online workshops.

How-To Homeschool Courses

Go from Overwhelmed to Got this! The detailed courses: Teaching the Stages of Homeschool, How to Choose Curriculum for Beginners, Homeschool Organization for Beginners, and The New Homeschooler Boot Camp are real eye-openers. You already know homeschooling will give your child the most benefit. Now, take time to educate the person who loves your kids the most – YOU!

Tip 9. Find the Balance Between Rigid and Too Relaxed.

Furthermore, it seems when I’m not feeling the love of how easy homeschooling is supposed to be, I’ve had to look at my expectations.

Many homeschoolers are too rigid, but I’ve also seen more homeschoolers who don’t have a plan for the day.

Find out what your children need.

It’s not always a problem of being too rigid, but it could be you don’t have a list of expectations or a routine for the day.

Your children may need more routine instead doing school by knee-jerk reactions. Ouch. It’s hard to self-analyze – always.

Or, are you so rigid that your children feel crushed under the weight of unnecessary sternness?

Again, you are the only one to make this analysis. Achieving homeschool balance is possible if you’re willing to be flexible.

Tip 10. You are doing more than homeschooling AND your children need to know that too.

Finally, you’re doing more than homeschooling your children; you’re training them far beyond academics.

It’s flat out hard to parent while being a homeschool educator.

They’re intertwined. And you do not want to keep your two roles separate.

Because parenting and homeschooling are weaved together, your kids have responsibilities beyond their academics for the day.

Hear my heart when I say it’s hard to STOP and take time to train your kids to clean, cook, do chores and put away their toys or objects.

However, not only are you teaching them to be independent, you’re instilling pride and confidence.

Many kids who are grown lack self-confidence. Although doing chores is not a complete problem solver, it is a solution.

Chores give kids a sense of pride, belonging, and a way to help others.

Many years I had to accept a kid friendly cleaned house; it wasn’t always easy because I had high expectations.

However, I’m FOREVER grateful that instilled an ethic of hard work in each of my sons.

Is Homeschooling Really Freeing

Now that they have roommates, their roommates thank me for my sons’ positive mindsets and neat and clean habits.

Encourage your child to be a good friend when he is an adult.

It does start with his surroundings, taking care of his room, and other areas in the house.

I love when I get positive feedback from my son’s roommates and moreover I hope in the future, their spouses will too.

Respect comes first from caring for themselves and their area in your home; it pours over then into a child’s live when they’re away from you and now adults.

They extend that same courtesy to others and learn how to truly be happy.

What I’m saying is sometimes homeschooling is a heart problem and not a homeschooling problem.

What genuinely makes kids happy is being fulfilled each day no matter how small the task.

Do not forget that the odds are in your favor for succeeding.

Go slow and remember your kids deserve to know how to take care of themselves, clean, cook, know how to follow a schedule, and take care of others.

Kids will NEVER forget how you SKILLFULLY prepared them for life not just academics.

When Homeschooling Is Sucking the Life Out of You

Don’t forget to think about what brought you to homeschooling in the first place and look up from the pit of despair.

Most circumstances are temporary at best although we don’t feel that way at the moment.

Having an online homeschool group is important too. You need to know you’re not alone. You’ll love my facebook group if you do facebook.

With Power Struggles Give Choices and Freedom

With plenty of rest or even stopping for a bit until you rekindle your love of homeschooling, I hope this heart to heart talk nudges you in the right decision for you family.

From my heart to yours, homeschooling has been worth every bit of stress and tears.

If you’re struggling right now, please let me hear from you. I may not have a solution, but I may be able to steer you in the right direction.

Look at these other tips:

Hugs and love ya,

How To Juggle Homeschool When You’re Coping With More Than A Mom Should

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I was going to create a long video on how to juggle homeschool when you’re coping with more than a mom should, but I didn’t. In my short facebook live video on my group, I do talk about it a little.

Although I’m not a weepy person, the truth of it is if I created a longer video, I couldn’t get through it without weeping and airing my raw emotions.

Why Juggle Homeschool During Extreme Stress

That’s not a negative for me; I want you to know what is working and not working for me. It’s important to me that you have some tips to ease your load and know that you’re not alone.

Read my words, but feel my raw emotions as I pour them out to you. I hope to encourage and lift you up in my transparency.

Circumstances are different for every mom, but the same raw emotions ebb and flow. You don’t have to feel the exact same pain as another to put yourself in another’s shoes.

What I went through years ago as far as crisis in my life pales into comparison to what I’ve recently been through and am going through. More on that in a minute.

How To Juggle Homeschool When You're Coping With More Than A Mom Should

Life wasn’t finished beating me or my family up. The longer you homeschool which is living life, the more stress can head your way.

When You’re A Control Freak But You Have No Control – None

So why keep homeschooling? More on that in a minute too.

Also, keeping things to your self is not always a good thing. You couldn’t possibly know what a very private person I am, but I am. I love my family and try to be dignified with their feelings and privacy.

It’s important for me to to not overshare. Know that there are things I must keep private; I’m walking a line here.

However, understanding what I’ve been through I hope I can reduce your stress and anxiety; I want you to know that sending your kids off to public school is not always the least stressful thing to do.

Life Can be Like the Cycle on The Dryer. Tumble, tumble, tumble. (Beat you up). Wait. Catch Your Breath. Hold on. REPEAT.

It was enough then and is enough now, but I have no choice as more is heaped on me.

First, look at what was heaped on me then.

One year my sister who homeschooled her kids got a staph infection.

First Sign of Homeschool Stress – What Will YOU Do

She had to be intubated because she couldn’t breathe and was unconscious for days. I cared for her in the ICU, comforted her kids and the whole family while taking care of my kids and husband.

Driving to get there when I first found out, I wondered if she would make it. Facing fear is not easy. It’s the kind of stress and sickness you feel that brings you to your knees and makes you puke.

Thankfully, she had wonderful doctors, the infection was contained and she was sent to a long-term facility for months.

Driving to see her and support her 40 minutes away from my house 4x a week or more was exhausting. My kids were with me the whole time. I thought that year would never end.

However, I had no clue what the next year held for me.

My husband had a massive heart attack. It was also the year my first son got to high school.

You know high school is scary enough, but it had nothing on what we went through that year. Yes, my husband beat the widow maker.

Vividly, I recall that day years ago. I shared with many of you who still follow me how I agonized over choosing the right words when you think they may be your last to your husband.

I finally made it to my husband’s side at the hospital in time to be with him while the doctors shuffled my husband off to surgery and saved his life. That night which I’ve never shared was one of the loneliest nights I’ve ever been through.

Knowing how close I came to life changing forever, I cried all night alone.

Some Stress Is Unavoidable

Next, the long year to recovery and hubs changing jobs was ahead.

Did I mention too that folks want to give you all kinds of nutritional advice assuming your lifestyle contributed to his heart attack?

I never shared before that he inherited heart disease from both sides of his family and his heart attack although happening while he was young, didn’t happen at 40 years old like his father and great grandmother before him.

Matter of fact, the doctors said it was our lifestyle which saved his life because of how stress free we tried to lead our life.

Life as I knew it went back to some kind of normal. However, my kids and I were forever changed.

Knowing the value of how you never know what the next day holds, we seized the time time together as a family and made a big change in our life.

We sold our huge home with pool and packed what we wanted in two cases for each of us and moved overseas to South America.

It was the BEST decision we ever made. Our years spent together in adventure was just what we need to get over what we couldn’t control.

Is Returning to Public School the Answer

Look at these four things that my kids and I learned from those years of hardship.

  1. We drew closer together as a family. If I had to put my kids in public school, we would have been separated at a time we needed each other. However, I weathered the storm remembering that it is just that. That means it’s temporary.
  2. It taught my kids to seize moments of friendship both in the family and with their friends outside of the family. You don’t know what will change this afternoon.
  3. Although I worried my sons may have grown up too fast, in fact teaching them to stand with me as we face feared helped them to set reasonable standards for themselves during our crisis. Even adults today don’t know when to stop putting pressure on themselves when under enough strain.
  4. Homeschooling is all about modeling how I want to my kids to learn meaningful things. What would I be teaching them if I didn’t set the example on what their focus should be when life hits hard? Everything I believe in about the homeschooling lifestyle came full circle. In life, sometimes we need to be a caregiver. I knew their academics wouldn’t be interrupted too long, but my kids’ education reaches far beyond academics.

Next, you want to take a self-check. Long term stress can cause terrible emotional and physical harm.

There is a difference between BENDING and BREAKING. You never want to get to the point of breaking.

With all of my heart I believe our emotional and mental health while homeschooling is not talked about enough.

There should be NO judgment or feeling like you’re weak or less if you send your kids to public school.

Choosing to Look on the Bright Side – A Choice

At this point, I’ve not had to seek professional help, but have not ruled it out if I need it. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It means you care about your health and the health of your kids.

Bodies react differently to stress.

I allowed the stress to bend me although many days I feel like breaking. In my heart of hearts I knew what was right for my family.

But that wasn’t all I learned, I also learned:

  • If I sent my kids to public school that there was no way I could have the flexibility to care for my sister and husband on my terms.
  • You’re told to live one day or one moment at a time, but you embrace the true meaning when you experience extreme stress.
  • Control what I really had control of. That means I couldn’t let my mind worry about things that were not on my plate for that day. I saved my energy for what I’m experiencing NOT what I think I MAY experience. I was turning my load to anxiety and had to rein that back in. Do you know how REALLY hard that TRULY IS? There is a line between staying ahead of caring for all what is on your plate versus unnecessary worrying.

How to Power Through Homeschool During a Crisis (The Second Time)

Recalling all of what I just shared with you, I’ve been hit hard AGAIN.

Look at what I’m currently dealing with.

My husband is experiencing more complications with his heart. Each day is a precious day. For now, he is good, but managing his health is on my plate again.

My mother is now at end stage renal disease.

This is weighing heavy on my heart. Not only does she have to go to dialysis 3x a week, but she had a stoke and has continued to decline in health. Did you know seizures follow because of the stroke?

Although we’re managing my mom’s care daily, there is no controlling what you can’t control.

There is just letting my mother know what a treasure she is when she can understand me.

Seeing your mother go from an extremely intelligent, compassionate, and caring woman to almost a child is gut-wrenching daily.

But again, I remember whatever I feel is not anything I know my mother is going through. That keeps me going daily. All my mother knows right now is that I love her deeply and she loves me deeply. There will never be enough words to tell her how precious she is to me, but I try daily.

My mother-in-law now lives in an assisted living and my husband and I manage her care as well. Right now, she’s been exposed to Covid and with the onset of dementia, we constantly remind her daily of what is going on.

Did I mention my dad is now 80 years old and has his own set of health problems which needs to be managed while he helps care for my mom?

Any given day, I’m not sure which one of my family members will need help for the day.

Currently many days are not all my own to plan or juggle homeschool units.

How to Plan When You Can’t Catch A Break

However, I choose to trek forward. Look at five mindsets I’m utilizing now as I manage in STEPS.

  1. Ask: What TRULY is important to me today? That is my ONE goal for the day.
  2. Live today, not worry about tomorrow. This one is really hard for me because I’m a planner. Instead of worrying what may happen to any of the precious people in my life right now, I save my energy and passion for dealing with what is REALLY happening.
  3. Identify the difference between stress and anxiety. I’m still learning new things. Stress is unavoidable because it involves life. Stress turns to anxiety when I worry about things that may never happen. All I have done is add anxiety instead of keeping my mind and body healthy.
  4. Know when to stop homeschooling and when to cut back. I know now that my sons could have never gone to public school because they felt they would have missed what was going on at home. I had to think about their feelings. Knowing when to get help either online, by a tutor, or when to stop for a short time is paramount. Weigh EACH day as it’s happening instead of planning like life is normal until it is again.
  5. Self-care for the caregiver is necessary. (I know, but heart my heart. It’s NECESSARY). Passing out is not a good when you’re the caregiver. When so much is on your shoulders, you have to find time even if it’s a short time to rejuvenate. Many days I am physically EXHAUSTED, but waking up REALLY early when all is quiet has calmed my nerves and allows me to think. I spend the time thinking, meditating, and reading. Sure, I’m physically exhausted a lot of days, but my mental and emotional health needs the recovery. Not every day can I get up that early, but a few days a week it has become necessary. Find time whether really LATE or really EARLY to feed your mental health.

Adopt Compassion Over Compulsion

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is compassion over compulsion. Compassion moves a person to try to spare the suffering of others. Compulsion is what a person does by rote or grudgingly.

Deep in my raw and exposed heart, I know I can’t relieve any of the things going on in my family right now. But by me being there for all of them every day and my words, they know they are not alone as they face challenges every day.

When to Let Others Know And When to Let them In

Lastly, even machines are made with escape valves. I’m no machine, I’m not unusually strong, but I choose to share with others. Writing about this is self-help like one wise homeschool mom told me.

Life is precious and each of these people in my life didn’t ask for this to happen to them, but I manage each day as it comes up.

Yes, I would like to go back to a nothing but homeschooling life and blogging, but it probably won’t be for a while.

Tell me friend, can you relate? Has life thrown at you more than your fair share? Have you lost someone dear to you or have had a terrible setback? I don’t have all the answers, but know I TRULY care.

How To Juggle Homeschool When You're Coping With More Than A Mom Should

Look at these other tips on how to juggle homeschool when life hits hard:

Hugs and love ya,

First Time Homeschool Mom: Am I Doing This Right?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

To the first time homeschool mom, gaining confidence to take control and learning how to shape your journey are priority.

Quickly, I’m going to show you the most valuable how-tos, but there are a few important things I need you to know about me first.

This IS about you, but it’s important for you to know where this tried and true advice is coming from so your foundation is stable, solid, and works for the long-term.

Don’t set up your homeschool course on wild guesses, but on what works.

Although you get the benefit of my numerous years of homeschooling (well past 22+ years) and successfully graduating three homeschooled teens, I have also successfully mentored new homeschoolers.

First Time Homeschool Mom

For ten years, I conducted workshops in person with new homeschoolers.

That experience is priceless in knowing exactly what you need now and what can wait until later. Right now, everything may seem important, but organizing your priorities is how to successfully make it through your first year and beyond.

Look at these SOLID 5 steps for new homeschool moms which you may or may not know.

Step 1.
Know What IS and What IS NOT Homeschooling

(don’t buy curriculum yet)

Wait! Don’t buy curriculum.

I want to save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars by you knowing what is and what is not homeschooling.

Many first time homeschool parents have a very narrow view of what is education and to many it looks a lot like public school.

Although, I’m not telling you to throw caution to the wind, I’m saying you need to know if you’re truly homeschooling or just following the public school model at home.

With Covid present now, new homeschoolers are getting a clearer picture of what is public school at home. However, many are not sure what is homeschooling.

Look at this quick list of 4 ways to identify the homeschool lifestyle; you want to fully benefit from the voluminous information about homeschooling.

Tips for First Time Homeschoolers

  • The BIGGEST difference from knowing if you’re just changing the geography of where your child learn is who is in CONTROL. Yes, YOU want to be in control of your time, your curriculum, your approach, and your schedule. This doesn’t mean you can’t get all the help you need from curriculum with daily lesson plans. However you decide what is best for your family instead of an online public school official deciding for your kids. For a more in-depth explanation, read The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home.
  • Homeschooling means that you can use ANY means available to you to teach your child and not just workbooks. Look at 45 Ways to Define Homeschool Curriculum – Is Your Definition Holding You Back to expand your definition. Use the resources you already have available.
  • Homeschooling or learning takes place many times outside four walls and not in front of a computer always. Again, you decide based on your family’s need.
  • Homeschooling means that curriculum doesn’t teach anything, but that YOU do. It’s not as scary as it sounds. The scary part is choosing which laid out curriculum to use. You have lots of excellent curriculum choices which take you by the hand and are great for new beginners. Here is a Big Ol’ List of All-In-One Homeschool Curriculum (a.k.a Boxed) which has subjects laid out day by day.

After getting a pulse for what is truly homeschooling so you benefit from the freedom, you need to know your homeschool state laws.

Step 2. Not Just Know Your State Law, But Know How to Meet It.

(don’t buy curriculum yet)

It’s quite easy for me to tell you to go look up your law, but that does you no good when you’re not sure how it works day to day.

I have a list of different state laws I created on my Facebook Group. It not only has homeschoolers from each state explain the homeschool law, but they also give you practical how -tos on how to meet it.

Too, you can find the homeschool laws on HSLDA by clicking on the map for your state.

IF you don’t have facebook or need more help to know how to meet your state law, email me, PM me, or comment here and I will help you to understand it.

Step 3. Learn that Homeschool Curriculum is Organized by Homeschool Approach.

(don’t buy curriculum yet)

Next, this step is the most overlooked of ALL the steps and it’s the one that is the most sanity-saving tip for the first time homeschool mom.

Conquer the overwhelm of choices in the homeschool world by knowing that curriculum is organized by homeschool approach will save you tons of grief, time, stress, AND dollars. Believe me, take a bit of time to read them and know them.

I know you’re eager to get started homeschooling, but the worst mistake you can make is to use a resource which brings you daily stress.

Homeschooling for Beginners

Learning which approach suits your family gives you time to cut the curriculum hunt to manageable.

For example, if you know the workbook approach did not work for your wiggly learner, but that a Charlotte Mason or Unit Study approach may, then you’ve narrowed your curriculum choices.

Increasing your success the first year comes from knowing which homeschool approach aligns closer to your child’s needs.

Although there are many approaches in the homeschool world, not all are equally popular for various reasons.

Here are the most popular Top 5 Approaches New Homeschoolers Need to Know which will get you off to a much better start.

Another step to ensure that you’re doing this right is to assume that you’re child is in the current grade level.

Step 4. Don’t Assume Your Child Is In the Next Grade Level Just Because He Was in that Grade Level In Public School. (BIG Mistake)

(don’t buy expensive curriculum yet, but do use easy or free curriculum in the beginning)

I know countless new homeschool families I’ve helped which feel that reviewing lower grade levels is a waste of time. It is not.

I’ve now brought my New Homeschooler Boot Camp online to help many more new homeschoolers. You will benefit from learning the detailed how-tos.

How to Start Homeschooling

Look at these superior reasons why beginning your homeschool journey by reviewing lower grade levels or easy concepts solidifies a strong start;

  • Kids become masters of material by reviewing concepts they may or may not have mastered. I’m not saying do this for the whole year. Take it easy in the beginning so you know exactly what your child knows and doesn’t know;
  • When kids can quickly master concepts, it builds their confidence for starting something new;
  • Many homeschool teachers are surprised by what their child does not know. Using inexpensive or cheap curriculum gives you time to explore and delve into what your child knows and doesn’t know;
  • Using cheap or inexpensive curriculum allows you a longer period of assessment which does not include testing. Tests are one way, but they don’t give you a larger picture; and
  • When you use inexpensive curriculum in the beginning as you learn the weaknesses and strengths of each of your children, you’ll spend your hard-earned dollars wisely.

Practical Advice For First Time Homeschoolers

Last, but not the least important reason to use inexpensive or free curriculum is that you get your teaching feet wet without wasting valuable resources.

Learning which subjects your child’s need to review and which subjects he may be one or even two grades ahead in makes for a successful start. That is how you know you’re doing it right!

Look at this list of inexpensive or free curriculum to help you gauge the true progress of each child, get your teaching feet wet, and understand the big picture of what your child knows and doesn’t know.

Inexpensive Resources for New Homeschoolers

Although any inexpensive workbook will give you a place to start while not spending a lot of money, some homeschool families prefer the ones I have listed below.

Don’t forget too that the Dollar Store, Sam’s, and Wal-mart are great places for finding inexpensive worktexts to start guiding you on what your child knows and doesn’t know.

Another one i love to recommend is like a Summer series which most public school parents would use during the summer to keep their kids’ skills sharpened.

The summer bridge series is great to use to kick off your year because they have a bit of each subjects area in the book. You get a better pulse of what your child struggles with.

Too, I find the series give parents an idea of what their child wants to learn or piques his interest.

Also, Evan-Moor , Spectrum, and Brain Quest cover a wide range of subjects and concepts. Some homeschoolers end up keeping a few books for review, to round out other subjects a child may be struggling in, or to use stand alone in a subject.

Brand New Homeschooler

Lastly, the most important step of all while you’re doing this is to deschool.

Step 5. Deschool.

(buy SOME curriculum NOW)

Take the kids out of public school one day, begin homeschooling the next day; it’s a common rookie mistake. And it seems almost impossible to change to a relaxed mindset when you jump from one stressful situation into another one. Deschooling is the first step for any new homeschool family.

Watch my video How to Deschool – Are You Doomed If You’ve Never Deschooled. Ins/Outs of How to Deschool! Are you doomed if you never have deschooled.

Also, my post Deschooling: Step One for the New Homeschooler (the Definitions, the Dangers, and the Delight) gives you the reasons why deschooling is important.

I would love to mentor you through my online self-paced New Homeschooler Boot Camp as I’ve had for numerous new homeschoolers who a decade later are still on the road homeschooling.

There is definitely a right and wrong way to begin your homeschool journey and you’re already taking the road less well traveled. Don’t make it harder than it has to be by adding stress and jumping into it.

Taking time to educate yourself first will save you tons of stress and money down the road.

I am here for you if you need my help. What is your current struggle right now?

Also, look at these other super practical, tried and true tips!

Hugs and love ya,

65 Best Teaching Tips for Embracing Homeschooling Multiple Ages and Ideas You Wished You Knew Earlier

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When I first started my blog, I did a series on homeschooling multiple ages. It was a sweet series chock full of tips, but wouldn’t you like to know how successful that method was for me?

Fast forward to the present with three kids graduated, you will love these tried and true tips for juggling multiple ages and ideas you wished you knew earlier.

1.

HOMESCHOOLING MULTIPLE AGES

So, I’m breaking down the tips into big chunks so that you can easily find the help you need as I share details. I’ve had a lot of time to refine the process over the last 20+ years.

First, let’s discuss ten benefits of teaching mixed ages together and eight challenges.

65 Best Teaching Tips for Embracing Homeschooling Multiple Ages and Ideas You Wished You Knew Earlier. After 20+ years of homeschooling multiple children together through to high school, you'll love the HUGE LIST of tips to know from how to choose curriculum to understanding the definition.

Ten Benefits of Teaching Mixed Ages Together

  1. The public school approach has complicated the simple. More subjects do not equal more; it just equals more busywork. Teaching subjects together combines several bodies of knowledge which are related.
  2. Shorter more productive days stick. The time after instruction is filled with how each child connects what is learned today with yesterday. A child needs time to linger on what is newly learned.
  3. We homeschool because we want to nurture family togetherness and teaching siblings together does that.
  4. Focusing on one science, history, geography, music, book, or art topic multiplied my time as a teacher. From topics came lesson plans suited to each age and ability. Bottom line is my time planning yielded huge results.
  5. Covering a topic with multiple ages enriches the depth of each child’s knowledge as they share their research with the family.
  6. Teaching multiple ages together is easy on your budget. Buying one science or history book for all your ages screams homeschool savings. (Yes, it’s fantastic. I’ll share in a minute how to do it.)
  7. It fosters a love of independent learning. I didn’t realize this until later. Coming together to study encouraged my kids to research their ideas and to present them to the rest of the family.
  8. Older children model for younger children.
  9. Younger children learn from older siblings.
  10. All of your children learn from each other as the older children review facts mouthed by the younger siblings. That equals natural review instead of forced worksheets.

Eight Challenges of Teaching Mixed Ages

Identifying the challenges I’ll be addressing will help you to see which part of this process gives you a bump in the road.

More important, I’m also giving you tips for smooth sailing on teaching your mixed ages.

Next, let’s dive into listing the challenges.

  1. Does teaching together really mean at the same time? Should I teach a few kids separately?
  2. How do you give each child one-to-one and when?
  3. It could create an unhealthy spirit of competition. For example, an older learner may outshine a younger learner. Also, in some instances an advanced younger learner can outshine an older sibling.
  4. Also, if you have several small children creating a lot of interruptions this can make for an atmosphere of chaos instead of calm.
  5. Another challenge is how to create lesson plans which fits all ages.
  6. What activities are good for all ages?
  7. Teacher time planning is increased.
  8. Determining if this approach is good for all of your children can be stressful.

If you’re new to homeschooling, you’ll love my online self-paced Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers.

New Homeschooler Online Self-Paced Boot Camp By Tina Robertson

2.

DEFINING HOMESCHOOLING MULTIPLE AGES

Now that some challenges and benefits have been identified, I’m moving on to explaining what is homeschooling multiple ages.

Understanding a definition brings clarity which is sanity saving.

Look at six ways to understand what it means to juggle mixed ages.

Six Ways to Define Homeschooling Mixed Ages

  1. It means you can teach your children together, but each one can be working independently on an assignment. The kids are not all huddled together in front of you every minute. Of course, unless you want that. Just saying.
  2. Creating multiple assignments on one topic for each child’s needs is the very foundation of homeschooling multiple children.
  3. You can create individual hands-on projects based on ages.
  4. Creating ONE BIG project by all the kids teaches siblings how to collaborate. You decide which projects and how many projects your kids do jointly or individually. Maintaining flexibility of how many hands-on ideas or projects you want to assign to your older or younger set of kids or assign individually is key to savoring the process. Flexibility is king for projects.
  5. Understanding that you do NOT have to do all the teaching when the kids are together is another important element to know.
  6. Older siblings reading to younger siblings or reviewing math facts is part of how you juggle mixed ages.

Did you know this method of teaching is time tested? It reminds me of the one-room schoolhouses of the past.

If you were to ask a seasoned homeschooling mom if a one-room schoolhouse is a thing of the past, they would probably say no.

The building may be long gone, but the idea of teaching mixed ages together is alive and strong in the homeschool world.

3.

NUTS AND BOLTS OF HOMESCHOOLING MULTIPLE AGED CHILDREN

One of the most common mistakes or misunderstandings about teaching multiple grades is that all your kids sit down together in front of you and you teach them at the same time. 

That is not true.

While it’s easier to do this when they are young, it gets harder to do as they get older.

In short, one huge tip to teaching multiple grades is to remember that you are teaching multiple lesson plans on one topic. A big difference. 

So this means you have to know when to teach together at the same time and know when to teach separately.

Key to teaching ONE lesson plan for multiple ages is knowing that some subjects are more essential while other subjects can be taught in a variety of ways.

Six GENERAL Tips for Homeschooling Multiple PRESCHOOL and ELEMENTARY Children

Look at the nitty-gritty tips of teaching when ALL your kids are 8 years old and younger.

  1. When teaching young children who have shorter attention spans more breaks are needed between topics. Knowing this you want to prep for several 15 to 30 minute teaching slots throughout your day.
  2. Do reading aloud first for the school day. This way you have set the tone for the teaching day.
  3. Reading aloud can be any book which covers a subject you need to teach for the day. History, science, math, literature and even books which teach grammar in a humorous way are your guides for reading. One budget saving tip is to use a book, yes even a textbook which you already have. A textbook is not my first choice because it’s tweaked to fit one age. A book which covers multiple ages is your aim.
  4. However, if you don’t have a book which covers multiple ages to teach the subject and only have textbooks aim for the book that targets the middle age of your children or your oldest children. For example, by a rule of thumb your 8 year old would be considered third grade. You want to use a second or third grade textbook.
  5. When choosing resources for your children know it’s ALWAYS easier to adjust lesson plans DOWN from a resource for younger children than up for an older child.
  6. Another sanity saving tip when working with young children is that you give one-to-one time starting with your YOUNGEST and work your way up to your OLDEST.

Now that you have some general tips for homeschooling younger children, it’s important to know that subjects fall into two types of category.

For instance, language arts and math are skill subjects.

While it’s not completely impossible to do so, it’s harder to teach those skills to multiple children using one level.

Incidentally, this is a concept that even public school teachers understand which is that even children in the same grade are all over the place skill wise.

On the other hand, content subjects like history, science, art, and many others can be taught together.

Although you want to keep the information at your children’s level, it’s not critical for them to master one concept in content subjects before moving on to another one. However, it is for skill subjects. Children need to know the four basic operations of math before moving on to Algebra.

Another example of the important point I’m making is if a child does not learn to read and write well by the older grades, he could be at a deficit for learning. He may be set up for struggling if enough time was not spent mastering skill subjects as his individual pace.

However, if a child did not learn the capitals of every state by fourth grade, he will not necessarily be ill-equipped in adulthood. He would need to know how to read to look up the capitals of states.

Learning styles and learning modalities can be complex. However, tapping into the way a child prefers to learn is essential to success.

Five Specific Tips for Homeschooling Multiple PRESCHOOL and ELEMENTARY Children

Now that you understand the differences in the types of subjects, look at these specific tips for homeschooling multiple young children.

  1. After reading aloud, begin one-to-one with your preschoolers and toddlers on the lesson for the day.
  2. Start with the skill subjects first since they’re most vital at this age. If you did a literature read aloud, then work with letter recognition or sound with your group of littles.
  3. Fine motor skills can be done at this time too. Set up your learning area for painting, beading, or playdough.
  4. Bottom line is to teach all of your youngest children together. As the youngest learners they’re your true schedulers.
  5. Before you move on to the group of older kids or your next group, being READY INSTANTLY with activities is key to teaching the littles. If you have a large family, you may need a division of three groups depending on the ages.

Next, let’s move on to tips for older learners. It’s one thing for your kids to be real little and have years to teach, but it can be quite scary as your kids approach middle and high school.

For the most part, skill subjects are just as important in the older grades as they are in the younger grades.

The huge difference is in the upper grades content subjects need equal attention. That can be the rub, but I have some tips and tricks for you in a just a bit.

By the time a child is in the older grades he is reading to learn instead of learning to read. When a child is past that point of the basics of learning how to read he is ready to focus on more content subjects.

As I mentioned earlier, the general rule of thumb when working in a group is that you work with the youngest group of children first and work your way up.

In short, your older kids will get your one-to-one later or even last. This calls for an absolute clear direction for them to start their day on the topic.

Six Practical Tips for Homeschooling Multiple OLDER Children

Look at these tips for homeschooling multiple older children.

  1. After you come together to start your day with the lesson topic, then let your older kids decide what lesson to do OR even a different subject. For example, if you’re teaching a science lesson, he may want to do math instead. Allowing your older kids to make decisions like that gives them control over their learning journey. Having an order for lessons is key because you will always need to work with the youngest first. Your older kids can’t be held up for the day waiting on you.
  2. This brings me to my next tip. Let your older kids do lessons or subjects that require minimal help from you.
  3. On the other hand, if they struggle with a subject like math, I suggest they do that first when they’re freshest in the day. The key here is to use a program which teaches step by step or even visually.
  4. Let them do some of the reading or teaching to their younger siblings. It’s great training.
  5. Also, get them to help do the research on an upcoming lesson plan or topic. It’s a win-win. They learn research skills, you get help, and your older kids are diving deeper into learning. Valuable research skills and outlining are learned. They feel a useful part of your teaching team while increasing their knowledge.
  6. Finally, one more tip that I call the broccoli cheese sauce method is to combine one skill subjects which your older child may not like, maybe essays, with a content subject he does. For instance, assign writing topics based on a science passion, geography, nature, history or a Bible topic.

To summarize this section, it’s important to put all of these tips I mentioned above into a working day.

How does the day or schedule look?

Flexible Homeschool Schedule for Juggling Mixed Ages

1st
Block of Time
(could be morning)

Begin the start of your day together. Usually the morning time is the beginning of the homeschool day. Whatever time is the first to your homeschool day, the key is to start with all kids together.
Then let older kids work independently.

2nd
Block of Time
(could be afternoon)

If you have all young kids like 8 years old and younger, you need time to come back together to teach the lesson in more depth or through a hands-on idea.

Do one hands-on idea/project for all your kids.

If you have a set of older and younger kids, then only come together with the youngest set. This allows the older learners independent time.

3rd
Block of Time
(could be after school)

This time period is a flexible time. I could use this time before supper to help one of my kids who was struggling. Also, we did music and art during this time. As my kids grew older, they used it for fitness time and research time. Too, silent reading time was during this period.

As you see from the above flexible schedule, adjustments will have to be made along the way.

From PreK to high school I’ve used the method above with variations for each year.

In a nutshell, teaching multiple ages always included some part of the day being together no matter the age.

While it’s true that as each son entered high school, the time together was shorter. It wasn’t because my older children needed more time alone; it was because they learned to be independent using this method of teaching multiple ages. On the threshold of adulthood, they were already using their time wisely.

4.

ACTIVITIES FOR MIXED AGES

Next, having a list of activities ready to choose from and which will work with a variety of ages was indispensable.

Look at some activities below which will simplify your day.

21 Ideal Activities for Juggling Mixed Ages

  • Watching Dvds.
  • Coloring. Museum quality coloring books and coloring books are not just for young kids anymore. These high quality pages are great learning aids for any age, but especially young adults.
  • A mixed age homeschool co-op.
  • Drawing and labeling. Whether your kids draw and label an animal or plant cell, it’s an activity that adjusts to each age.
  • Poetry recital. When one kid remembers one poem and recites IT, all your kids benefit.
  • Listening to an audio book can be enjoyed by all ages.
  • Growing a garden or tending plants is a wonderful family activity.
  • Discussing current events.
  • Virtual field trips.
  • Physical field trips.
  • Combining math and art.
  • Drama and plays.
  • Watching a musical.
  • Viewing a documentary.
  • Studying maps and atlases.
  • Reading together, of course.
  • Have your children prepare ONE huge lapbook together or have your kids prepare individual ones.
  • Make vocabulary cards for a game.
  • Educational board games.
  • Make character cards from a movie, documentary, or book.
  • Any life skill like sewing, baking, or cooking.

To summarize, make a list of ideas for you to have quickly available to you. Ideas will vary according to whatever topic you’re teaching.

Green Kid Crafts Make it a Green Summer

The point is make a huge list from the resources you have on hand and of course stalk my Pinterest for ideas.

5.
HOMESCHOOL CURRICULUM FOR MULTIPLE CHILDREN

Finally, resources for homeschooling multiple children are EVERYTHING; resources can literally make or break teaching multiple ages.

Not having the perfect resources when I started, I still used what I had already purchased because I didn’t have to go out of my budget.

Further, I promised earlier that I would explain how to choose resources and how to choose one book for all ages.

Before I go on, I do want to touch on one important point which made teaching multiple ages successful through to high school for each kid.

I switched to a unit study homeschool.

It may seem harder to lesson plan, but using a unit study approach gave me ample information to feed each of my children’s learning appetite at any age.

Now, look at how to choose resources and unit study curriculum ideas.

  1. Although textbooks are not my first choice, it’s what I had when I started. I encourage you to use what you have; I didn’t know the difference between living books and just books. Tip: Use the textbook from your oldest child to teach your subject. As I’ve stated before, it’s EASIER to plan down than up for your oldest learner. You can adjust lessons for younger learners when you have more than enough information to choose from for lesson plans.
  2. In addition, book series work great for multiple ages. I aim for a middle school or higher series. As an example, a few book series are The Boxcar Children, The Little House, J.R.R. Tolkien Set, and The Puffin in Bloom Collection.
  3. Also, some curriculum is easier to use with multiple ages of children than others. Here are the ones I like and have worked timelessly for me through the years: Beautiful Feet, Ellen Mchenry Games and Learning Resources, Home School in The Woods, Literary Adventures For Kids, Case of Adventure, Art History Kids, Backyard Science, Music in Our Homeschool, Tapestry of Grace, NaturExplorers from Shining Dawn Books, Five in A Row series, Learning Language Arts Through Literature series, KONOS, and All About Spelling.

In summary, it wasn’t easy to let go of the thinking that children need to be segregated by age. 

By nature we fight it because are so very aware of the fact that the educational future of our children is in our direct hands.

Now that I have three young successful adults, I can say without a doubt that this time-tested method works.

It is natural for our kids to compare themselves to each other, but it is our job to be sure we nurture them in their own unique talents.

65 Best Teaching Tips for Embracing Homeschooling Multiple Ages and Ideas You Wished You Knew Earlier. After 20+ years of homeschooling multiple children together through to high school, you'll love the HUGE LIST of tips to know from how to choose curriculum to understanding the definition.

This means separate time for the little ones so they can shine and not be overshadowed.

The one room school house is still alive and well in homeschooling today. Though it has its challenges, the rewards are well worth it.

Did you find a part here that can help you? What part do you struggle with in teaching multiple ages?

Enjoy my seasoned homeschool mom tips? You’ll love these too!

Hugs and love ya,