Today is day 26 tips for resistant learners You’ll find the other tips on 31 Day Free Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers.
Channeling a self-willed child is like either hitting a concrete wall or floating along a calm stream.
In my experience, I know that a child alone does not determine whether you hit this wall or float calmly.
Our children, like us, are products of what they have experienced learning to be at this point in their lives. They are a reflection of positive or negative experiences.
I agree that it can be hard to look at the positives of a self-willed child, but we need to understand the difference between a rebel and a resister.
They are not the same.
However I want you to understand that a rebel is somebody that consistently disobeys authority.
Resistant Learners
On the other hand, a resister is somebody who can refrain or just not do something or they may actually just resist you.
Even the most well informed parent has a hard time telling if it’s resistance or rebelliousness.
Take a look at some of these tips to decide which is which and put them in your homeschool arsenal for when you need them:
1) Does your child only express what you think is rebelliousness during school? If so, then it may be resistance no matter how ugly the show down between you and your child was. This tells me that whatever assignment he is doing could be causing some anxiety. Is it too hard? Is he gifted and it’s too easy? Are you presenting curriculum that is hard to learn because it is not his learning style?
On the other hand, if he is rebellious about doing his school, doing chores and is cruel on a daily basis to his siblings and shows disrespect to you as his parent, it may be rebelliousness and not the new homeschool routine. It becomes a case of discipline or parenting
Homeschool Rebels or Resistant Learners
Hear my heart on this. If this is the case, you are not alone.
Some children do grow out of this, but just have a hard time dealing with body changes and hormones.
Don’t be too quick to pin the label rebel on him, but if it does happen, cut back your school to focus on what is important and that is your relationship.
I have found more cases than not, kids are resistant learners.
2) What value is learning if we can’t investigate our interests? Children, like us want to learn about things that interest them too. A child may become self-willed if he was forced to bend to another one’s will or stay in sync to a scope and sequence that was not a good fit. If that force was not motivated by love as it is by parents, then a child might be asking “why risk getting hurt?” Then rebellion sets in and it becomes a battle of the wills. Again, place a precious value on what your child tells you and this helps them to resist the urge to be a rebel.
Too, I’m going to switch gears here on you.
Who is Tina Robertson
But before you can appreciate how I can help you, here are a few things about me. Sure, this free new homeschooler boot camp is all about you.
However, you need to know that I’m not new to the homeschool world.
It has been several years since I wrote this series and I want to update you on my successes. And I’ve helped HUNDREDS get on the road to homeschooling.
Too, I have 3 homeschooled grads. So I’m well past having my oldest kid being 10 years old.
But the best part is that what I have for you works.
Also, look at a few other things about me.
- I am the author of the book Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers: When You Don’t Know Where to Begin
And I have a detailed self-paced online homeschool Kickstarter course. It is a detailed comprehensive course for first time homeschoolers.
That is enough about me.
New to Homeschooling Start with the Basics
1 – 7 Start with the Homeschool Basics
- 1 Learn The Lingo (& free glossary)
- 2: Homeschool Roots Matter
- 3 What is NOT Homeschooling
- 4: Confronting Relatives & Naysayers
- 5: The Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round & ‘Round
- 6: Homeschool Hangouts & Socialization Situations
- 7: Tied Up with Homeschool Testing?
8-14 Homeschool Organization 101 for Beginners
- 8: Organize Your Home – Then School
- 9: Carpe Diem: Homeschool Schedule by The Day, Month, & Year
- 10 Grocery Shopping Cooking Laundry
- 11: Swoonworthy Learning Spaces & Homeschool Rooms
- 12: Creative Storage Solutions for Homeschool
- 13. Streamlined Record Keeping
- 14 Homeschool Supplies List
15 – 21 Best tips for New Homeschoolers Choosing Curriculum
- 15: Discovering Learning Styles
- 16: Practical Tips for Learning Styles
- 17: How to Choose a Homeschool Curriculum
- 18 Teaching Young Children – Elementary Homeschool
- 19: Guiding Homeschool Teens
- 20: Homeschool Lesson Planning
- 21 Time Tested Tips For Homeschool
22- 28 Homeschool Preschoolers, Highschoolers, and Resistant Learners
- 22 Homeschooling Preschoolers
- 23 When Your Child Hates Homeschooling
- 24 Finding Homeschool Curriculum For Unique Learners
- 25 Homeschool High School
Even if his ideas are far-fetched, he knows you gave him a listening ear.
3.) Boundaries equal limits and children thrive within them. A rebel will push and test the limits. Inconsistent discipline, inconsistent school schedule and inconsistent rules breeds a rebel. All three of these things can be taxing to get a handle on when you’re new to homeschooling.
It is better to do less in the day and keep expectations clear so that you are not frustrating any of your children, than it is to push ahead and then take off days because you are behind.
Consistency, no matter how small keeps mutiny in homeschool to a minimum.
Create boundaries and a few rules so that they are easier to remember. A
flexible, but clear schedule posted in a prominent place helps everybody to see how to get the day started.
We all have buttons that can be pushed, so we need to realize when our resistant learner is pushing them. If you have to postpone correction because our emotional tanks are empty, do so.
When both a child’s and parent’s emotional tanks are empty, this is a collision course and not the best time to correct behavior.
You are not alone. We ALL deal with resistance and rebellion and as long as we’re human we can’t completely eradicate it, but we can cope successfully with it.
Hugs and you know I love ya,
God has truly blessed me with a unique child. She is very strong-willed, but for the most part will be compliant for me.
I often find that in those times of ridiculousness, when words, resets, and other discipline methods don’t work and I’m reaching the end of my rope, to just hug her.
It works almost every time. Discipline is a component of love, but sometimes it’s not the correct answer to that unique situation. The hug often leads to tears, and us finally getting to the root of her discontent that is manifesting in negative behaviors and attitudes.
Christina Hirst recently posted…Recouped and Revved! & Our Fifth Grade Routine
I hear ya Christina and love hearing how you handle the delicate situation.
This is such a tough subject to write about because it is so sensitive but one we all struggle with and maybe not talk about much.
Only the parent knows if discipline is needed which is why homeschooling works because the parent is hands-on. Too, within the same family the same method will not work.
I have one son very self-willed and only being consistent works because he has the “I dare you attitude”. Another son I handle much like your daughter.
He sees that going down that road doesn’t help and all he needs is a gentle love pat and a huge hug.
Enjoyed your comment and great tip on how you handle it with your daughter..
Thanks for sharing!