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Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School

October 30, 2023 | 12 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Why my homeschooled kids are not given the choice to go to public school sounds harsh. Also, you’ll love more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

Also, extreme homeschooling or parenting is not my style.

However, I do strive for being a balanced parent, which I feel is much more challenging than setting fast and hard rules.

Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School

I had loving and balanced parents and still maintain a close relationship with them.

Let me back up and explain first that your childhood affects your current parenting and homeschooling style.

Oh sure, my parents made their fair share of parenting mistakes, like any parent will, but extreme, dictatorship-like decisions based on my parents’ personal whims was not one of them.

True, I realize not all parents are good parents and then a child from that type of family who may have been dictator like wants to restore balance when they are parents.

But in the quest to restore balance, parents can inadvertently give a child the idea they have as much experience as the parent.

Communicating lovingly to me and often why I couldn’t do something was always foremost in how my parents modeled to me.

Good Decisions are MODELED Not Wished For

Switching back to present day and helping many new homeschoolers, I noticed a common trait among some parents.

Some parents beginning to homeschool want their child’s approval regardless of age to homeschool.

And yes of course a child’s age has a lot to do with this but maybe not. More on this in a minute.

Through conducting thousands of workshops in person, (my courses are online now) I noticed some homeschool parents bring negative patterns of their parents’ parenting or lack of it to their current homeschool.

It’s true homeschooling and your learned parenting patterns are inextricably linked.

Too, I’ve homeschooled long enough to know that public school and homeschool are two VERY different approaches.

See my post The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home in how I help others see two DIFFERENT ways to educate.

In addition, I’m not saying homeschooling at all costs either. Some simply do not have the circumstances although they want to homeschool.

Back to parenting. Wouldn’t you agree that balanced parenting is harder to achieve than laying down arbitrary rule making

Look at some of the common mindsets that I have avoided and/or adopted which worked for me in helping my kids see that homeschooling can be a superior education.

ONE// I don’t think a homeschooler is called to homeschooling.
I do feel that homeschooling is THE BEST choice for ANY child.

Besides the obvious low teacher ratio, homeschooling is about choice of schedule, choice of academics, real life experiences, and an overflowing amount of enriching activities.

Which family doesn’t deserve to have a shot at that?

I do not think only certain families are called to homeschool, but all families should have the option.

However, just because homeschooling is the best method for every child to learn, it doesn’t mean everybody has the circumstance to.

Good is not wished just upon some and others not.

The bottom line has been that because each year I had the circumstances to homeschool.

I knew it was the best option for any child, a life changing decision was not given into the hands of a child who may thinks he misses a friend or two.

TWO// Homeschooling is similar to the mindset needed for a lifelong commitment.

Marriage calls for a heavy commitment up front when you don’t really know your future husband until you start living with him no matter how long you dated.

Jumping into marriage without trying to find out as much as you can about your husband is not wise by any stretch of the imagination.

More Resources for Why My Kids Are Homeschooled

  • Transitioning from Public School to Homeschool For a Relaxed Lifestyle
  • When Homeschooling is Sucking the Life Out of You
  • Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School
  • 26 of the BIGGEST Gripes about the Homeschooling Lifestyle!
  • The NOT To Do List: 32 Things New Homeschoolers Should Avoid
  • 100 Reasons Why Homeschooling is a SUPERIOR Education
  • It’s a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School
  • Deschool – Get off the Public School Treadmill!

Also, look at some of these resources I have for you and my book too.

5 BEST How to Homeschool Books

I've rounded up some of the best books to help you get started homeschooling.

Homeschooling for New Homeschoolers: When You Don't Know Where to Begin

Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is a real eye-opener on homeschooling. It will alleviate a lot of the anxieties about getting started homeschooling. Reading each chapter’s highlights will give you encouragement, knowledge, guidance, and peace of mind to homeschool with confidence. The best part is that you’ll be educating the person who loves your kids the most in this world--YOU! Armed with the knowledge to make better choices in curriculum will empower you to continue the path of home education. Unlike many books based on one family’s experience, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is also based on Tina’s many years of mentoring hundreds and hundreds of new homeschoolers at live workshops. When you don’t know where to begin Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers equips you to successfully homeschool your children.

The Unhurried Homeschooler

Homeschooling is a wonderful, worthwhile pursuit, but many homeschool parents struggle with feelings of burnout and frustration. If you have ever felt this way, you’re not alone! Most of us need to be reminded of the “why” of homeschooling from time to time—but "The Unhurried homeschooler" takes parents a step further and lifts the unnecessary burdens that many parents place on themselves.

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace

Those who have made the decision to homeschool their children have done so out of great love for their children and a desire to provide them an excellent education in the context of a warm, enriching home.

The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life

Parents who are deeply invested in their children's education can be hard on themselves and their kids. When exhausted parents are living the day-to-day grind, it can seem impossible to muster enough energy to make learning fun or interesting. How do parents nurture a love of learning amid childhood chaos, parental self-doubt, the flu, and state academic standards?

Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom

Education has become synonymous with schooling, but it doesn’t have to be. As schooling becomes increasingly standardized and test driven, occupying more of childhood than ever before, parents and educators are questioning the role of schooling in society. Many are now exploring and creating alternatives.

Making a marriage work is hard, but thinking in the back of your mind that divorce is an option or a way out makes the effort put forth in the beginning meager and utterly defeating.

And yes, many have had to escape a bad marriage but too it’s easy to give up if you want to separate at the first sign of trouble.

Both of those commitments required HARD WORK and success just doesn’t happen.

Homeschooling is similar to that type of  commitment in marriage.

Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School

You need to focus more on how to make homeschool work.

And not dwelling on returning to public school .

This requires a resolute determination, a belief in the homeschool approach, knowledge (which is gained) and focused energy.

Decision-Making Ability is a Gradual Process

It’s easy to assume that all of our homeschool years are going to be sunshine and rainbows, but you and I know that is a lie.

Like most teens, mine too have gone through times when they too buck the decisions my husband and I make.

Our process to help them has always been the same and we did this by:

1.Listening to my boys without interrupting them or telling them they can’t feel that way.

They should have their own opinions and our decision for them to not have the choice to go to public school doesn’t deprive them of how to gradually start the decision-making process.

When boundaries are created a child or teen has a safe environment in which to learn.

2. Explaining the reasons why they don’t have a choice to go to public school.

Your reasons may vary, but a few of our reasons usually went like this; this is a superior education, society has changed and we want our influence on you, your course load in high school can be lighter or heavier, you have more time for a social life instead of caged, you can have a job earlier, enjoy an apprenticeship, be free of bullying, be free of the atmosphere of drugs and savor freedom.

THREE// Let’s talk teens, rebellious years and even single mom homeschooling.

3. Acknowledging that we are capable of mistakes. Too, let our children know all decisions are made out of giving our children the best.

4. Finding the solution or fixing the problem. For example, if one of my boys felt like he was missing out on friends, then I MUST fill that need. And you know that unless you decide to homeschool under a rock, activities are endless for kids.

Matter of fact, finding other boys their age was a problem in our homeschool and I created a thriving co-op. Out of that co-op, my boys have lifelong friends.

They also wanted to be with other homeschooled teens more, so they took art lessons, and ballroom dancing.

I didn’t stop there, I planned movie trips and outings for boys and I planned for 2 or 3 field trips per month instead of our usual one. Yes, w

Single mom homeschooling is also more prevalent today and because homeschooling can be flexible to a mom’s work schedule, many single parents are lapping up that freedom.

When we give our kids the option to return to homeschool a mindset can set in where they think that something better exists, when in fact we are giving them the very best!

Why unnecessarily place defeat in front of you or your children?

Additionally, teens vary on their maturity. Just because a teen reaches a certain age doesn’t mean he or she is capable of sound decisions.

I’ve helped many parents pull their teens out of public school because of drug problems, bad friends, or just because the teen is worn out or worst bullied.

A teen still needs a parent who is loving, caring, and balanced and they need it now more then ever before.

Be Willing To Work Hard as the Homeschoool Educator

While true, it’s important to listen to your teen it’s better to have your teen in a safe environment so their confidence soars.

Here are some do NOT:

  • Don’t use the return to public school as a threat. It may give your kids the wrong impression of people who have had to use public school. Besides threats and intimidation is not a way to parent.
  • Don’t keep asking your children if they miss school. They are only going to tell you what their limited experience has been and they do not have the ability to make life changing decisions.
  • For sure don’t ask a homeschooled teen if he thinks he should return to public school. Problems will not get better when he is away from you, they only go below the surface for a while to reappear.
  • Don’t think a child has to experience bad or experience public school to appreciate good. If that seems to be the case, focus on how to help them appreciate what they have. Appreciate means to hold in high value. Attitudes and actions prove appreciation or lack of it. A return to public school doesn’t build that in children.

Leave behind rigid and unbending rules, but set your homeschooling up for success by creating boundaries for it.

Why My Homeschooled Children Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

12 CommentsFiled Under: Be an Exceptional Homeschool Teacher, Begin Homeschooling, Build Character in Homeschooled Kids, Homeschool During Crisis, Homeschool Simply, Homeschool When Nobody Wants To, Teach Special Learners or Gifted, Teach the Rebel Homeschooler Tagged With: homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool crisis, homeschool lifestyle, homeschooljoy, homeschoolprogress, preventinghomeschoolburnout, reasonstohomeschool

High School Senior Portraits Day 2 of 10 Days Planning a Homeschool Graduation

February 26, 2023 | 4 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today is day 2 homeschool high school senior portraits for the updated 10 days series for planning a homeschool graduation. Also, look at more ideas on my how to homeschool high school page.

Early on I realized that I could go ahead and get Mr. Senior 2013’s official portraits done.

And I could purchase his cap and gown as we hashed out the other details on venue and menu.

Homeschool senior portraits were important to him.

High School Senior Portraits Day 2 of 10 Days Planning a Homeschool Graduation

But I learned while graduating my other seniors that it was not the same for each one.

For example, my second graduate was not interested in formality or tradition.

And my third graduate was a mix of both.

First, determine what is important to your senior.

10 days-Planning Homeschool High School Graduation: Senior Portraits (Day 2). Many details were floating around in my mind, one thing I figured out quite early was that I could go ahead and get official portraits done and purchase his cap and gown. Grab some ideas for places to take pictures that last a lifetime!

Too right away, we had to determine if he wanted a senior ring or not.

Homeschool Senior Portraits Matter Most

Breaking with tradition, he didn’t want a graduation ring.

I knew a regular, but no ordinary ring would be worn by him longer.

Grandma and grandpa wanted to make that purchase for their gift to him.  So that was one long term project done.

I love how sometimes he was traditional during planning and other times not so much.

Loving the details about planning, earlier in the year I had put together some color boards.

In my mind, we could then go from there to choosing a cap and gown for his high school senior portraits.

That approach made sense to me or so I thought at the time.

High School Senior Portraits Day 2 of 10 Days Planning a Homeschool Graduation

{Picture Source: The Craft Begins)

We spent wasted hours poring over color schemes. 

Being the boy that he is the color scheme above is close to what he ended up liking best, or he thought so too at the moment. Of course with less peach and more terra cotta color at the party is what he thought he wanted.

All I could think of was a green cake when I saw that color scheme.

All Mr. Senior 2013 could think of was an ivory wedding cake and a wedding theme which he wanted to be sure to steer clear of.

We backed up and started with what was easiest to pick out first and that was his favorite color for his cap and gown. He knew right away he wanted royal blue.

(Picture: Graduation Source)

There it was. Our inspiration for our color scheme and party just got easier.

We ended up going with Graduation Source because it was a  big company, had some great reviews and it was fast and pretty painless to deal with.

Overflowing Inspiration

Also, I went ahead and ordered only the diploma cover because guess I was creating his homeschool diploma too.

All of it was at our home fairly quickly and all I had to decide now on was how to get official senior portraits.

As I figured out, the color scheme could wait a bit longer because I needed to focus on senior portraits. I knew I wanted other pictures too of him showing things he loved.

After looking at a lot of senior packages from photographers, I knew I wanted more control input into the pictures and how many we got.

So I ended up getting my girlfriend who has a DSLR camera and is not an expert and knows less about her new camera than I do about photography. 

I coordinated the photo shoot because I knew what type of settings and expressions on my son’s face that I wanted to be sure to capture.

Let me tell you the extent of my knowledge of photography.

I know one very important thing and that is that light is everything.

I know the prime time to take pictures is either close to sundown like between 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. or shortly after sunrise. That’s it! That is the extent of what I know to make pictures beautiful.

On the evening of the photo shoot, my girlfriend came to my house first because working with that amount of time, you need to work fast. I wanted some inside pictures too.

Creating Events To Remember

I picked out 3 outfits ahead of time for my son to change into as we went along so I was sure to have a variety to select from.

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232323232%7Ffp54393)nu=9;55)937)257)WSNRCG=368; ; 8(5348nu0mrjI wanted to capture moments that he was proud of like his music or piano at our house and his car.

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So we were able to snap several pictures and ended up with these that we liked the most.

After that, I grabbed his change of outfits, his cap and gown and we headed to a local historical park.

Another important thing to me was getting some pictures outside in a natural setting that would have a background that inspired our Texas heritage.

When it comes down to it, I am a simple girl and like simple country charm with a hint of formal. This park is close to our home and the perfect setting for our outdoor pictures.

If all possible, I encourage you to have one photography setting outside. You would be surprised at the places that make great photo shoots and I will list some for you in a minute.

Unforgettable Outdoor Photos

Look at my list though of what I brought for our outside pictures after choosing a location.

  • I brought three different outfits for my son to change into.
  • I brought a step ladder because I wanted some pictures of the photographer looking down at him.
  • I brought my point and shoot camera too.
  • I brought a chair so we had a place to lay some of the clothes on.
  • If you have a girl think about bringing makeup to touch up her face or to wipe any sweet, but shiny oily faces.
  • I brought some cotton pads for my son’s face to wipe away shiny spots too and of course hairspray and hair brush.
  • I also brought some flip flops or sandals because we took some photos of him barefooted and so he could put those on his feet as we walked to another part of the park.
Homeschool High School
Homeschool Graduation
High School Senior Portraits Day 2 of 10 Days Planning a Homeschool Graduation. Today is homeschool high school senior portraits for the updated 10 days series for planning a homeschool graduation. Also, look at more ideas on my how to homeschool high school page. As I figured out, the color scheme could wait a bit longer because I needed to focus on senior portraits. I knew I wanted other pictures too of him showing things he loved.

As you can tell we got a variety of poses and pictures to choose from.

Do not leave the decisions for the poses and positions you want to see your child in up to a photographer, even a good one. Though most professional ones will consult with you prior to the shoot so that they can understand your child’s personality, you are the only one who knows them the best. A photographer will love you for having a list or better yet pictures from the internet if you found some.

I came up with all the poses either by finding poses online close to what I liked or understanding what my son liked best. He is not an over the top person when it comes to taking pictures either so we knew we didn’t want glamorous. Girls like that kind of stuff better.

High School Senior Portrait Tips for DIY

When thinking of an outside place for a portrait think outside the box.

  • Like I mentioned an old historic building makes wonderful outdoor pictures. When we there taking our pictures a girl that was graduating too came in a beautiful formal dress. I can just imagine what her pictures looked like with a touch of class and a touch of simple.
  • Think of old downtown
  • Think of an arboretum
  • Think of a park or place along a river or pond
  • Think of the beach
  • Think of the area around a museum
  • Think of a state park
  • Think of all the cool, out of the ordinary places you have been on a field trip to because they make great photo shoot locations
  • Here in Texas, we have the river walk in San Antonio if you wanted to take them at several different venues and start early by visiting other cities.
High School Senior Portraits Day 2 of 10 Days Planning a Homeschool Graduation

More Homeschool High School Graduation Planning Resources

  • Start the Planning Day 1.
  • High School Senior Portraits Day 2
  • Invitations Day 3
  • Graduation Menu and Party Venue Day 4
  • Home Graduation Ideas Day 5
  • DIY Decorations Day 6 
  • Table Decoration Ideas Day 7
  • High School Graduation Gift Day 8
  • Free Editable High School Diploma Template Day 9 
  • Graduation Celebration Day 10 

By using one photographer, my girlfriend, for these pictures and a professional photographer at the party, we saved a bundle already.

I knew at the party I would be tied up with details for our guests, but my mind could be less stressed because I knew I had pictures already that were important to me.

Take inspiration from something simple and capture pictures way ahead of time because without one, it is hard to determine the color scheme for the party or for invitations.

No rest for the excited, because right after that, I had to determine details for the invitation. Next post I will share the details on invitation and venue.

4 CommentsFiled Under: 4. {10 Days of ... Blogging Series}, Graduate a Homeschooler, Planning a Homeschool High School Graduation Tagged With: high school, homeschool, homeschool joys, homeschoolgraduation, homeschoolhighschool, homeschooljoy, teens

Planning Homeschool High School Graduation Day 1 of 10 Days

February 25, 2023 | 1 Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

A lot has happened since I graduated my first senior. Today on planning homeschool high school graduation, I’ve updated my 10 days series for planning a homeschool graduation. Also, grab more ideas on my how to homeschool high school page.

How do I put all my plans, fears, successes, failures, and momentary lapses of insanity in one blog post?

I can’t. Instead, I will share 10 days of planning a homeschool high school graduation so that not IF, but when your turn comes, you will have a place to start.

As of now, all my homeschooled kids have graduated and I’m still in the trenches with you as a coach.

Planning Homeschool High School Graduation Day 1 of 10 Days

Right away I will ask for your forgiveness during this series too because sharing our homeschool journey has never been so scary for me as it has been over the last few years.

Much of life and school was up, up, and down, down.

I have had feelings of overwhelming happiness at the same time sadness, feelings of joy yet fear wondering if I did enough with Mr. Senior 2013.

10 days of Planning A Homeschool High School Graduation: Day 1 Start the PlanningHow do I put all my plans, fears, successes, failures and momentary lapses of insanity in one blog post? I can’t. Instead, I will share 10 days of planning a homeschool high school graduation so that not IF, but when your turn comes, you will have a place to start.Click here to get tips from a seasoned homeschool mom!

Yet, I pressed on to have Mr. Awesome graduate in 2015 and Tiny graduated in 2018.

Planning the BEST Homeschool High School Graduation Celebration!

I can’t help but have tears as I reflect as I’ve savored every mommy moment with him and think how vulnerable I felt when I held him in my arms as I taught him to read.

A tear or two may run down my cheek as I type this because that has not been the only feelings I experienced as we celebrated the next chapter of Mr. Senior 2013’s life.

You know I tend to be private about hubby’s health, but it impacted our homeschool significantly these past two years.

So, the blessing of graduating our first son was special in more ways than one because my husband was around to celebrate it with us.

It may sound a bit dramatic, but for us it was also celebrating life.

10 Days of Plannning Homeschool Highschool Graduation | Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

So although we weren’t able to have the graduation at the time I planned because we were with the Mr. at the hospital, the day was filled with more meaning when we finally did.

Nothing mattered more on ending Mr. Senior 2013’s journey than being with the ones who were there from the beginning and matter the most. Even at the end, he was still learning valuable life lessons.

Moving on to what matters, the beginning of planning a meaningful homeschool graduation starts with long term planning.

Celebration Countdown


Here are some things to think about and that will affect what type of homeschool graduation you plan.

  • Do you want to be part of a larger homeschool group or not? Most large groups I know plan a whole year out and hire speakers and usually hold the graduation in a large auditorium. If you do, you need to notify a group right away.
  • What type of personality does your young adult have? Yes, he is forever your child, he’s now just not a child. This is really important because what you might vision for the day and what he or she might vision may be two completely different things. It is their celebration too. It is hard for us capable mamas to remember that at this point because we have been so strong in nurturing and leading them but surrender to it because our young adults are capable now.
  • Does your teen vision a late night out on the town and a small gathering?
  • Does your teen vision a formal night complete with catering and closer to a wedding than a graduation?
  • Does your teen vision a family trip like a cruise with many of his or her friends and their parents?

More Homeschool High School Graduation Planning Resources

  • Start the Planning Day 1.
  • High School Senior Portraits Day 2
  • Invitations Day 3
  • Graduation Menu and Party Venue Day 4
  • Home Graduation Ideas Day 5
  • DIY Decorations Day 6 
  • Table Decoration Ideas Day 7
  • High School Graduation Gift Day 8
  • Free Editable High School Diploma Template Day 9 
  • Graduation Celebration Day 10 
Planning Homeschool High School Graduation Day 1 of 10 Days

Check that List Twice

I will be sharing some printables on this too, but I want to list some things that you need to brainstorm way ahead of time.

  • date, time (beginning AND ending times), and venue
  • type of dress
  • do you want a meal, just snacks, no meal or cake/punch only
  • how many people to invite
  • how many parties to have (yes, I was going to have two. One with our church friends and one with our homeschool group. Two small gatherings keeps each manageable. I ended up having one because of our circumstances.)
  • how to present the diploma
  • cap, gown, and ring can all be ordered ahead of time as long your teen doesn’t change their mind about colors he or she likes
  • what type of decorations do you want

The beginning is about brainstorming and including your young adult. In the end we both realized we had some ideas that ended up being too much work or that really were not that important to us.

Next post, I will share some of the details and plans we reached early in our planning and share with you a few time and budget saving tips I found along the way.

I will try hard to not have too many sniffles on this series, but no promises okay?

1 CommentFiled Under: 4. {10 Days of ... Blogging Series}, Graduate a Homeschooler, How To - - -, Planning a Homeschool High School Graduation Tagged With: homeschool, homeschool graduation, homeschool highschool, homeschool joy, homeschoolgraduation, homeschooljoy, planning graduation, teens

When Homeschooling is Sucking the Life Out of You

December 12, 2020 | 1 Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I must be doing this wrong because homeschooling is sucking the life out of me. I hear it a lot and I felt like that at one time too. Also, look at my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter for more tips and resources.

Too, a lot of families who bring kids from public school can find it harder to appreciate the homeschooling lifestyle; many families who have homeschooled from the beginning equally can struggle.

Add in the mix of kids’ lackadaisical attitude toward anything, let alone school work and you have a recipe for quitting.

When Homeschooling Is Sucking the Life Out of You

You may even feel public school is better for your kids.

When Homeschooling Sucks the Life Out of You

Although I don’t claim to have all the answers, from my over 20+ years of homeschooling from prek to high school AND conducting workshops with new homeschoolers, I do have tips that will help you.

Besides, I care. I mean I TRULY care about your success.

I KNOW the homeschooling lifestyle is a superior approach to education. I will tell you why in a minute.

Am I Selfish For Wanting to Send Them to Public School

Homeschooling being superior may not be a popular mindset among public school advocates, but I’m not here to win a popularity contest; I want to see you succeed without you feeling like you have to give life and limb for a lifestyle which is backed by numbers.

I’m here to tell you that you CAN succeed without tons of anxiety and stress and how it can be done.

First, it starts with knowing stats.

Don’t get me wrong, I love math and science, but it’s not the way I normally help people. However, we need to start with an analytical view before I speak from my heart.

When Emotions Are High Judgment Is Low

See when our emotions close in on us and doubt hits our day whether we’re doing enough or not, numbers like how much time we spend teaching our child doesn’t change.

What I’m saying is that one-to-one tutoring is a superior approach to thirty kids to one teacher. It’s simply a matter of odds and time.

Even at times when I felt I was at my breaking point like when my husband almost died, and my sister too, my kids learned way more at that time about what was really important.

Additionally because we did get behind when life hit hard, I was able to catch up far quicker than public school. We did NOT have to wait for a full school year or until other kids got the concepts.

My focus was simply my kids and my family. Although I didn’t feel like I was in control of my life and homeschool and sometimes I wasn’t, I know now that I definitely was.

Unless you’ve checked completely out, meaning you’re not doing one thing to teach your child like having meaningful conversations with him, reading to him, or playing with him, the odds are STILL in your favor of succeeding.

Also, get some more research and stats from this site National Home Education Research Institute to see how homeschoolers really are succeeding.

How to Go From a Crippled to Confident Mindset

I was making the best decisions based on the odds and time actually spent.

Whenever I feel that deep down nagging tug that I’m not doing enough, I remind myself of how much time it actually takes to homeschool.

We have time for many interruptions at home and still have time to make progress.

So I changed my mindset from a choice of sending my kids to public school as my default solution to one of using my time to make homeschool work to the best I could. Instead of putting energy into an approach where my kids odds of learning were actually lowered, I made the homeschooling lifestyle priority.

Next, before I jump into sharing multiple tried and true tips to cope when homeschooling sucks, I want you to know that I don’t believe one should homeschool at all cost.

That belief too is not exactly a popular one with some of the faith-based community.

With all of my heart I know that homeschooling is a superior approach because a child gets a uniquely individualized education; however, there are other factors like health, mental health, and even finances which deter some families.

Homeschooling your children is a very personal decision and one that a family should make for their children without guilt or judgment.

We really do not know what goes on inside of every family’s home and so I respect the decision each family has to make.

10 Tried and True Trips When Homeschooling Sucks

Next, look at these ten tips to cope when homeschooling is sucking the life out of you.

Tip. 1. Just STOP, STEP AWAY, and RESET.

First, we may think we have to keep pushing. Why do we do that to ourselves and our kids?

When in fact, from a complete stop comes rejuvenation, power, and refocus. Sometimes we can try to squeeze homeschooling into a busy life. We may need to stop and look at our schedule again to see what is really important to keep and what can we let go.

Tip 2. Deschool.

A lot is said about deschooling in the homeschool world. Some of it I agree with, other information not so much.

Deschooling is not just something you do when you’re a new homeschooler. It’s a technique for burn out too.

Look at some of these ways to use the deschooling process:

  • Do you need rest? STOP. Take care of your needs and your children’s physical needs. There is nothing selfish about self-care. A break does not mean a stop. It just means a break.
  • Did you jump from public school to homeschool without really taking the time to know how your children learn? Putting your child in the next grade because public school said they belong in a grade is a huge newbie mistake. It take times to know how your children learn and you can do that with inexpensive to free curriculum until you know your child’s learning personality.
  • Deschooling does not always mean idleness. Deschooling is different for each family. I know kids who do well with routine. However, can you scale back your expectations until whatever is the object of the stress subsides? Have you heard of the power of little done often? It’s true.

Furthermore, I share tips here on my video How to Deschool – Are You Doomed If You’ve Never Deschooled.

Tip 3. Do a Unit Study.

Additionally, I switched from boxed curriculum to unit studies many years ago.

Little did I recognize then the full and positive impact they would have on our day and now our journey.

Unit studies can take a bit more time to plan; the return is the satisfaction of learning exactly what interests us.

When homeschooling loses his luster, try a different approach. You may need to just switch approaches instead of quitting homeschooling.

Look at my post Top 5 Approaches New Homeschoolers Need to Know to know you’re following the approach that is best for your family and that you’re not repeating public school at home.

Tip 4. Use Nap Time to Tidy Up.

Moreover, if you have a younger household and still have naptime, use about 15 or 20 minutes of the time for a quick tidy up.

Even though it may not be the type of cleaning you really need, don’t forget the power of little. Every bit counts when you have a house full of littles.

I used to run myself almost completely ragged while two of my kids napped.

Twenty years later, I realized some of the time should have been spent relaxing and just sitting down to put my feet up.

Tip 5. Occupy the Older Kids with their Devices During Naptime.

Likewise, something else I shouldn’t have felt guilt about was allowing my older kids to be entertained while my young children slept.

Thinking I had to constantly school my kids when I was at the point of exhaustion was not balanced.

Homeschooling at all costs, even costing your health is not healthy.

It’s okay to allow kids time to entertain themselves while you rest.

Tip 6. Read.

In addition to using naptime to rest, reading has been one of my best ways to relax.

I read an article that stated: “researchers found that reading is one of the best ways to relax, and even six minutes can be enough to reduce the stress levels by more than two-thirds.“

Too, what I’ve learned now is that even if all we did was reading for the day it was enough.

My kid’s fondest childhood memories are of us reading together as a family.

Reading IS school; all the elements needed for learning like concentration, comprehending, and studying are associated with reading.

When Homeschooling Is Sucking the Life Out of You

Also, reading aloud to your kids has many key benefits, but remember taking time to read what you enjoy rejuvenates YOUR love of learning. That is equally important.

I know you’ll love my book, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers: When You Don’t Know Where to Begin.

5 BEST How to Homeschool Books

I've rounded up some of the best books to help you get started homeschooling.

Homeschooling for New Homeschoolers: When You Don't Know Where to Begin

Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is a real eye-opener on homeschooling. It will alleviate a lot of the anxieties about getting started homeschooling. Reading each chapter’s highlights will give you encouragement, knowledge, guidance, and peace of mind to homeschool with confidence. The best part is that you’ll be educating the person who loves your kids the most in this world--YOU! Armed with the knowledge to make better choices in curriculum will empower you to continue the path of home education. Unlike many books based on one family’s experience, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is also based on Tina’s many years of mentoring hundreds and hundreds of new homeschoolers at live workshops. When you don’t know where to begin Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers equips you to successfully homeschool your children.

The Unhurried Homeschooler

Homeschooling is a wonderful, worthwhile pursuit, but many homeschool parents struggle with feelings of burnout and frustration. If you have ever felt this way, you’re not alone! Most of us need to be reminded of the “why” of homeschooling from time to time—but "The Unhurried homeschooler" takes parents a step further and lifts the unnecessary burdens that many parents place on themselves.

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace

Those who have made the decision to homeschool their children have done so out of great love for their children and a desire to provide them an excellent education in the context of a warm, enriching home.

The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life

Parents who are deeply invested in their children's education can be hard on themselves and their kids. When exhausted parents are living the day-to-day grind, it can seem impossible to muster enough energy to make learning fun or interesting. How do parents nurture a love of learning amid childhood chaos, parental self-doubt, the flu, and state academic standards?

Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom

Education has become synonymous with schooling, but it doesn’t have to be. As schooling becomes increasingly standardized and test driven, occupying more of childhood than ever before, parents and educators are questioning the role of schooling in society. Many are now exploring and creating alternatives.

Tip 7. Do a 4-Day Schedule.

Next, one year I switched to a 4-day schedule and never looked back. It’s true, at home we can accomplish more in less time.

However, until you try it you don’t really know.

When I switched to a 4-day schedule, it was one of the BEST things I did early in our journey.

I took off Monday to have a slower start to the beginning of the week. Taking time to get caught up on house cleaning, meal planning, and bill paying gave me a sense of control when my kids were very young.

As my kids grew older and could help more with chores, I switched to having off Friday as a day to rest and rejuvenate.

Look at my posts Should You Switch to a 4-Day Homeschool Schedule and The Sticking Power of a Solid Homeschool Schedule.

Tip 8. Take Time to Educate the Educator.

Another tip I learned was that some of my part in the feeling of lackluster towards homeschool was I didn’t take time to educate myself.

Why do we not think twice about dropping hundreds of dollars on our kids’ education, but don’t take time to learn how to choose curriculum or how to get organized?

Educating children is rewarding and at the same time it’s one of the most draining jobs I’ve ever done.

I needed the essentials in how to homeschool to smooth my path as I educate my children.

Many years, I ago I taught workshops to new homeschoolers and wrote a curriculum.

Having taught that workshop for 10 years, I now put those workshops online for you.

You’ll love my self-paced online workshops.

How-To Homeschool Courses

Go from Overwhelmed to Got this! The detailed courses: Teaching the Stages of Homeschool, How to Choose Curriculum for Beginners, Homeschool Organization for Beginners, and The New Homeschooler Boot Camp are real eye-openers. You already know homeschooling will give your child the most benefit. Now, take time to educate the person who loves your kids the most – YOU!
  • Homeschool Organization for Beginners
  • How to Choose Homeschool Curriculum for Beginners
  • Teaching the Stages of Homeschool
  • Identifying Your Homeschooled Child’s Learning Personality
  • FLEX New Homeschooler Boot Camp

Tip 9. Find the Balance Between Rigid and Too Relaxed.

Furthermore, it seems when I’m not feeling the love of how easy homeschooling is supposed to be, I’ve had to look at my expectations.

Many homeschoolers are too rigid, but I’ve also seen more homeschoolers who don’t have a plan for the day.

Find out what your children need.

It’s not always a problem of being too rigid, but it could be you don’t have a list of expectations or a routine for the day.

Your children may need more routine instead doing school by knee-jerk reactions. Ouch. It’s hard to self-analyze – always.

Or, are you so rigid that your children feel crushed under the weight of unnecessary sternness?

Again, you are the only one to make this analysis. Achieving homeschool balance is possible if you’re willing to be flexible.

Tip 10. You are doing more than homeschooling AND your children need to know that too.

Finally, you’re doing more than homeschooling your children; you’re training them far beyond academics.

It’s flat out hard to parent while being a homeschool educator.

They’re intertwined. And you do not want to keep your two roles separate.

Because parenting and homeschooling are weaved together, your kids have responsibilities beyond their academics for the day.

Hear my heart when I say it’s hard to STOP and take time to train your kids to clean, cook, do chores and put away their toys or objects.

However, not only are you teaching them to be independent, you’re instilling pride and confidence.

Many kids who are grown lack self-confidence. Although doing chores is not a complete problem solver, it is a solution.

Chores give kids a sense of pride, belonging, and a way to help others.

Many years I had to accept a kid friendly cleaned house; it wasn’t always easy because I had high expectations.

However, I’m FOREVER grateful that instilled an ethic of hard work in each of my sons.

Is Homeschooling Really Freeing

Now that they have roommates, their roommates thank me for my sons’ positive mindsets and neat and clean habits.

Encourage your child to be a good friend when he is an adult.

It does start with his surroundings, taking care of his room, and other areas in the house.

I love when I get positive feedback from my son’s roommates and moreover I hope in the future, their spouses will too.

Respect comes first from caring for themselves and their area in your home; it pours over then into a child’s live when they’re away from you and now adults.

They extend that same courtesy to others and learn how to truly be happy.

What I’m saying is sometimes homeschooling is a heart problem and not a homeschooling problem.

What genuinely makes kids happy is being fulfilled each day no matter how small the task.

Do not forget that the odds are in your favor for succeeding.

Go slow and remember your kids deserve to know how to take care of themselves, clean, cook, know how to follow a schedule, and take care of others.

Kids will NEVER forget how you SKILLFULLY prepared them for life not just academics.

Don’t forget to think about what brought you to homeschooling in the first place and look up from the pit of despair.

Most circumstances are temporary at best although we don’t feel that way at the moment.

Having an online homeschool group is important too. You need to know you’re not alone. You’ll love my facebook group if you do facebook.

With Power Struggles Give Choices and Freedom

With plenty of rest or even stopping for a bit until you rekindle your love of homeschooling, I hope this heart to heart talk nudges you in the right decision for you family.

From my heart to yours, homeschooling has been worth every bit of stress and tears.

If you’re struggling right now, please let me hear from you. I may not have a solution, but I may be able to steer you in the right direction.

Look at these other tips:

  • Transitioning from Public School to Homeschool For a Relaxed Lifestyle
  • When Homeschooling is Sucking the Life Out of You
  • Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School
  • The NOT To Do List: 32 Things New Homeschoolers Should Avoid
  • The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home?
  • Transitioning from a Public School Mindset to a Relaxed Homeschooling Lifestyle
  • 26 of the BIGGEST Gripes about the Homeschooling Lifestyle!
  • How to Mesh Your Personality With Homeschooling When They Collide
  • What is REAL Homeschooling? Homebound, Co-op or Public School at Home
  • Is Homeschooling Making the Grade? It’s in and the Grade is ALL Fs!
  • When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is it Worth the Risk?)
  • Finding Joy In Homeschooling When You are Not Really Feeling It
  • 6 Things I Won’t Regret After Homeschooling 16+ Years
  • How to Get an Out of Control Homeschool Back on Track
  • Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work?
  • Blurring the Line Between Living and Learning When Homeschooling

Hugs and love ya,

1 CommentFiled Under: Avoid the Homeschool Blues, Be an Exceptional Homeschool Teacher, Homeschool During Crisis, Homeschool Simply, Homeschool When Nobody Wants To, Homeschooling Tagged With: homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool crisis, homeschool joy, homeschool joys, homeschool lifestyle, homeschool mistakes, homeschoolchallenges, homeschoolcrisis, homeschooljoy

How To Juggle Homeschool When You’re Coping With More Than A Mom Should

October 27, 2020 | 8 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I was going to create a long video on how to juggle homeschool when you’re coping with more than a mom should, but I didn’t. In my short facebook live video on my group, I do talk about it a little.

Although I’m not a weepy person, the truth of it is if I created a longer video, I couldn’t get through it without weeping and airing my raw emotions.

Why Juggle Homeschool During Extreme Stress

That’s not a negative for me; I want you to know what is working and not working for me. It’s important to me that you have some tips to ease your load and know that you’re not alone.

Read my words, but feel my raw emotions as I pour them out to you. I hope to encourage and lift you up in my transparency.

Circumstances are different for every mom, but the same raw emotions ebb and flow. You don’t have to feel the exact same pain as another to put yourself in another’s shoes.

What I went through years ago as far as crisis in my life pales into comparison to what I’ve recently been through and am going through. More on that in a minute.

How To Juggle Homeschool When You're Coping With More Than A Mom Should

Life wasn’t finished beating me or my family up. The longer you homeschool which is living life, the more stress can head your way.

When You’re A Control Freak But You Have No Control – None

So why keep homeschooling? More on that in a minute too.

Also, keeping things to your self is not always a good thing. You couldn’t possibly know what a very private person I am, but I am. I love my family and try to be dignified with their feelings and privacy.

It’s important for me to to not overshare. Know that there are things I must keep private; I’m walking a line here.

However, understanding what I’ve been through I hope I can reduce your stress and anxiety; I want you to know that sending your kids off to public school is not always the least stressful thing to do.

Life Can be Like the Cycle on The Dryer. Tumble, tumble, tumble. (Beat you up). Wait. Catch Your Breath. Hold on. REPEAT.

It was enough then and is enough now, but I have no choice as more is heaped on me.

First, look at what was heaped on me then.

One year my sister who homeschooled her kids got a staph infection.

First Sign of Homeschool Stress – What Will YOU Do

She had to be intubated because she couldn’t breathe and was unconscious for days. I cared for her in the ICU, comforted her kids and the whole family while taking care of my kids and husband.

Driving to get there when I first found out, I wondered if she would make it. Facing fear is not easy. It’s the kind of stress and sickness you feel that brings you to your knees and makes you puke.

Thankfully, she had wonderful doctors, the infection was contained and she was sent to a long-term facility for months.

Driving to see her and support her 40 minutes away from my house 4x a week or more was exhausting. My kids were with me the whole time. I thought that year would never end.

However, I had no clue what the next year held for me.

My husband had a massive heart attack. It was also the year my first son got to high school.

You know high school is scary enough, but it had nothing on what we went through that year. Yes, my husband beat the widow maker.

Vividly, I recall that day years ago. I shared with many of you who still follow me how I agonized over choosing the right words when you think they may be your last to your husband.

I finally made it to my husband’s side at the hospital in time to be with him while the doctors shuffled my husband off to surgery and saved his life. That night which I’ve never shared was one of the loneliest nights I’ve ever been through.

Knowing how close I came to life changing forever, I cried all night alone.

Some Stress Is Unavoidable

Next, the long year to recovery and hubs changing jobs was ahead.

Did I mention too that folks want to give you all kinds of nutritional advice assuming your lifestyle contributed to his heart attack?

I never shared before that he inherited heart disease from both sides of his family and his heart attack although happening while he was young, didn’t happen at 40 years old like his father and great grandmother before him.

Matter of fact, the doctors said it was our lifestyle which saved his life because of how stress free we tried to lead our life.

Life as I knew it went back to some kind of normal. However, my kids and I were forever changed.

Knowing the value of how you never know what the next day holds, we seized the time time together as a family and made a big change in our life.

We sold our huge home with pool and packed what we wanted in two cases for each of us and moved overseas to South America.

It was the BEST decision we ever made. Our years spent together in adventure was just what we need to get over what we couldn’t control.

Is Returning to Public School the Answer

Look at these four things that my kids and I learned from those years of hardship.

  1. We drew closer together as a family. If I had to put my kids in public school, we would have been separated at a time we needed each other. However, I weathered the storm remembering that it is just that. That means it’s temporary.
  2. It taught my kids to seize moments of friendship both in the family and with their friends outside of the family. You don’t know what will change this afternoon.
  3. Although I worried my sons may have grown up too fast, in fact teaching them to stand with me as we face feared helped them to set reasonable standards for themselves during our crisis. Even adults today don’t know when to stop putting pressure on themselves when under enough strain.
  4. Homeschooling is all about modeling how I want to my kids to learn meaningful things. What would I be teaching them if I didn’t set the example on what their focus should be when life hits hard? Everything I believe in about the homeschooling lifestyle came full circle. In life, sometimes we need to be a caregiver. I knew their academics wouldn’t be interrupted too long, but my kids’ education reaches far beyond academics.

Next, you want to take a self-check. Long term stress can cause terrible emotional and physical harm.

There is a difference between BENDING and BREAKING. You never want to get to the point of breaking.

With all of my heart I believe our emotional and mental health while homeschooling is not talked about enough.

There should be NO judgment or feeling like you’re weak or less if you send your kids to public school.

Choosing to Look on the Bright Side – A Choice

At this point, I’ve not had to seek professional help, but have not ruled it out if I need it. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It means you care about your health and the health of your kids.

Bodies react differently to stress.

I allowed the stress to bend me although many days I feel like breaking. In my heart of hearts I knew what was right for my family.

But that wasn’t all I learned, I also learned:

  • If I sent my kids to public school that there was no way I could have the flexibility to care for my sister and husband on my terms.
  • You’re told to live one day or one moment at a time, but you embrace the true meaning when you experience extreme stress.
  • Control what I really had control of. That means I couldn’t let my mind worry about things that were not on my plate for that day. I saved my energy for what I’m experiencing NOT what I think I MAY experience. I was turning my load to anxiety and had to rein that back in. Do you know how REALLY hard that TRULY IS? There is a line between staying ahead of caring for all what is on your plate versus unnecessary worrying.

How to Power Through Homeschool During a Crisis (The Second Time)

Recalling all of what I just shared with you, I’ve been hit hard AGAIN.

Look at what I’m currently dealing with.

My husband is experiencing more complications with his heart. Each day is a precious day. For now, he is good, but managing his health is on my plate again.

My mother is now at end stage renal disease.

This is weighing heavy on my heart. Not only does she have to go to dialysis 3x a week, but she had a stoke and has continued to decline in health. Did you know seizures follow because of the stroke?

Although we’re managing my mom’s care daily, there is no controlling what you can’t control.

There is just letting my mother know what a treasure she is when she can understand me.

Seeing your mother go from an extremely intelligent, compassionate, and caring woman to almost a child is gut-wrenching daily.

But again, I remember whatever I feel is not anything I know my mother is going through. That keeps me going daily. All my mother knows right now is that I love her deeply and she loves me deeply. There will never be enough words to tell her how precious she is to me, but I try daily.

My mother-in-law now lives in an assisted living and my husband and I manage her care as well. Right now, she’s been exposed to Covid and with the onset of dementia, we constantly remind her daily of what is going on.

Did I mention my dad is now 80 years old and has his own set of health problems which needs to be managed while he helps care for my mom?

Any given day, I’m not sure which one of my family members will need help for the day.

Currently many days are not all my own to plan or juggle homeschool units.

How to Plan When You Can’t Catch A Break

However, I choose to trek forward. Look at five mindsets I’m utilizing now as I manage in STEPS.

  1. Ask: What TRULY is important to me today? That is my ONE goal for the day.
  2. Live today, not worry about tomorrow. This one is really hard for me because I’m a planner. Instead of worrying what may happen to any of the precious people in my life right now, I save my energy and passion for dealing with what is REALLY happening.
  3. Identify the difference between stress and anxiety. I’m still learning new things. Stress is unavoidable because it involves life. Stress turns to anxiety when I worry about things that may never happen. All I have done is add anxiety instead of keeping my mind and body healthy.
  4. Know when to stop homeschooling and when to cut back. I know now that my sons could have never gone to public school because they felt they would have missed what was going on at home. I had to think about their feelings. Knowing when to get help either online, by a tutor, or when to stop for a short time is paramount. Weigh EACH day as it’s happening instead of planning like life is normal until it is again.
  5. Self-care for the caregiver is necessary. (I know, but heart my heart. It’s NECESSARY). Passing out is not a good when you’re the caregiver. When so much is on your shoulders, you have to find time even if it’s a short time to rejuvenate. Many days I am physically EXHAUSTED, but waking up REALLY early when all is quiet has calmed my nerves and allows me to think. I spend the time thinking, meditating, and reading. Sure, I’m physically exhausted a lot of days, but my mental and emotional health needs the recovery. Not every day can I get up that early, but a few days a week it has become necessary. Find time whether really LATE or really EARLY to feed your mental health.

Adopt Compassion Over Compulsion

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is compassion over compulsion. Compassion moves a person to try to spare the suffering of others. Compulsion is what a person does by rote or grudgingly.

Deep in my raw and exposed heart, I know I can’t relieve any of the things going on in my family right now. But by me being there for all of them every day and my words, they know they are not alone as they face challenges every day.

When to Let Others Know And When to Let them In

Lastly, even machines are made with escape valves. I’m no machine, I’m not unusually strong, but I choose to share with others. Writing about this is self-help like one wise homeschool mom told me.

Life is precious and each of these people in my life didn’t ask for this to happen to them, but I manage each day as it comes up.

Yes, I would like to go back to a nothing but homeschooling life and blogging, but it probably won’t be for a while.

Tell me friend, can you relate? Has life thrown at you more than your fair share? Have you lost someone dear to you or have had a terrible setback? I don’t have all the answers, but know I TRULY care.

How To Juggle Homeschool When You're Coping With More Than A Mom Should

Look at these other tips on how to juggle homeschool when life hits hard:

  • How to Cope Successfully With Homeschool Mental Stress
  • How to Survive Homeschool Sick Days
  • 3 Foolproof Ways I Cope When I Can’t Homeschool (or Blog)
  • 10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope)
  • What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return)
  • Is Homeschooling Making the Grade? It’s in and the Grade is ALL Fs!
  • When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is it Worth the Risk?)
  • 7 Simple Fitness Tips for Busy Homeschooling Moms
  • 26 of the BIGGEST Gripes about the Homeschooling Lifestyle!

Hugs and love ya,

8 CommentsFiled Under: Homeschool During Crisis, Homeschool Simply, Homeschool When Nobody Wants To, Homeschooling Tagged With: homeschool, homeschool challenges, homeschool crisis, homeschool joy, homeschool lifestyle, homeschool mistakes, homeschoolchallenges, homeschoolcrisis, homeschooljoy

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