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Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Back in the covered wagon days like my kids think or at least LBK (life before kids), I worked with lawyers as an assistant to prepare for upcoming trials.

I took pride in preparing the lawyers for objections from the opposing side and always tried to think outside of the box for one-liners and comebacks when they were needed. When it comes to homeschool socialization, I feel the same way because in many ways it is similar to a battle or drama that is always brewing.

Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination?

You know what I am talking about because maybe you have gotten similar statements  –  ”homeschoolers are a bunch of holy roly weirdos”, “they’re just weird” or “Mom, those kids are gonna have to get out of the house sometimes”.  I’m sure you have some to add.

Looking back at my LBK days, I probably enjoyed the process of preparing for those far-fetched objections just as much as actually assisting in the courtroom because by nature I like to be prepared. Oh sure, once in a while I may have a quick comeback or I might shock astound folks with my quick wit (shock myself too). But most of the time preparation is key to giving a good defense to the dreaded socialization issue that has been facing homeschoolers from the time they mouth the words: “I’m  homeschooling”.

First, comes the silent strong look from even complete strangers. They might as well just say what is on their mind because it is written all over their face and then comes the blanket statement, which by the way is obvious that they have not researched this topic well.

Each year many new homeschoolers join the ranks with us in homeschooling and because we don’t want to be among the ones that are not well-researched,  we need to take the time to get a clear cut picture of the meaning or definition of socialization. Too, it’s hard to be prepared for something that we are not clear on.

Getting the full flavor of these words, I chose not to use a free definition found online. Take a glance at these definitions that I took from The New Oxford American Dictionary- Second Edition, which is my dictionary here at my home.

Sociable –  willing to talk and engage in activities with other people: friendly

Socialize – 1. mix socially with others 2. make someone behave in a way that is acceptable to their society 3. organize according to the principles of socialism.

See a problem with the definitions?  We certainly don’t want to defend something that we are against because we are not using this society’s measure on education or values. However, probably all of us want our children to be willing to engage in friendly activities with other people and be genuine, compassionate and caring.

For the most part, we have to assume too that most people think we hide under rocks and come out only at night time and that normally is the thinking that we are defending.

From “Catty” to Congenial Comments

So in the spirit of preparation and not condemnation and because I always want to say “it looks like a prison to me” which is probably not the most gracious reply to someone in public school,  I have created a list of one-liners and comebacks.

Here is the question/statement: So why do you homeschool and what about socialization? You are sheltering your children.

  • I homeschool because I want my kids socialized.
  • I want my kids to get along with all kinds of people.
  • We choose to participate in activities with others because we want our kids to accept people of varying backgrounds and ages.
  • My proof is in the pudding- – would you like to see my lesson plans for the week?
  • I am seriously considering cutting back some activities because our week is bulging with social activities and I need time to be at home.
  • I want my children to be around people who model respect, are considerate and well-spoken. What is learned from an early age will be emulated when they are older and around others that are not respectful or considerate.
  • Yes, you are right.  I am sheltering my children. I won’t be able to do it forever, but I can do it as long as I can and help them to become strong in their faith and values. Seems like what any good parent would do.
  • Yes, have you heard of the most recent (insert here: bullying charge, teacher misconduct, shooting or drug raid) at public school.
  • Sometimes I think we overthink this, what happened to the days when people just got kids together and they played without worrying if they were socialized or not?
  • Yes, we homeschool because faith matters and I think of this scripture (insert your favorite one here about “dealings with stupid or foolish people” or “training children”).
  • Each family has to decide what is best for them because even within each family, children are very different.  I have one child that thrives with friends so I can plan sleep overs and lots of meet ups and parties. And I have one child that does not need his emotional tank filled with tons of friends so I can satisfy his need for quiet time and to be with less people.
  • Would you like to come and be a visitor at our school? (Of course this is meant for a well-meaning relative or close friend that you know.)
  • I prefer that my children’s learning time not be interrupted because others do not know how to behave.
  • We homeschool for medical reasons. (Kudos to one of my readers Lake Lili for this reply and I love it because like she says that reply is normally received with silence)

Do you see a few you can use?

Homeschool Socialization Situations & Opportunities

If you were to ask me before I started homeschooling how much I worried about socialization,  my answer would be zero, zip and none. The problem with this scenario is that I am not homeschooling somewhere on paradise island by myself and because we mix and mingle with other people, like you, I get my fair share of second-guessers, naysayers, and plain ole negative nellies.

Gradually folks like that can chip away at your armor and doubt can set in about your decision. What you need now is concrete proof that as homeschoolers we come out from under our rock and caves and that our children are actually very socially adapted. Dare  I say they are friendly and some of us actually like people.

Look at these opportunities for homeschool socialization and how we learned with others.

fall activities homeschool co-op

visit a police station homeschool group

Early Years – Fall Activities and Community Helpers

native american homeschool co-op

 Native Americans

amphibians and reptiles homeschool co-op

 Amphibians and Reptiles

westward ho - homeschool co-op

westward ho - homeschool co-op 2

 Westward Hoooo

rainforest - homeschool co-op

rainforest co-op homeschool

Amazon Rain Forest

renaissance co-op and learning a renaissance dance

renaissance co-op homeschool

 The European Renaissance

early american history homeschool

 Early American History

ancient empires homeschool co-op

 Ancient Empires/Civilizations

Though I have never lacked for words when asked about our homeschool socialization opportunities, I have not always been proud of my quick temper. I know it stems from a place deep down in my heart because homeschooling is a work of the heart and it is hard work on top of that.

Now, I can revisit this post each year and will be armed with gracious speech. I still miss the drama of the courtroom, but then again I now have homeschooling naysayers, skeptics and Debbie downers to prepare for.

I hope this helps you to be armed for this school year and that others will be astounded at your quick wit and preparation too.

Look at my other articles here and grab yourself some more one-liners, comebacks and gracious sayings.

5 Ideas to Kick Start Your School Year By Including Others

Day 6: Homeschool Hangouts & Socialization Situations – 31 Day Boot Camp for New and Struggling Homeschoolers

I’m Homeschooling Because I want Them Socialized

How do I Socialize My Kids?

This blog hop is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects.  And of course, click the image below to visit all the other blog articles from the homeschool moms of the iHomeschool Network.

sword

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope)

No matter what you do, positive person or not or how well-organized you are, homeschool burnout looms because the 10 biggest homeschool burnout triggers are linked to life. Avoiding the unexpected is not possible, but you can plan for the unexpected.

Look at these 10 biggest homeschool burnout triggers and a tip or two on how to cope. Besides, instead of telling you how wonderful homeschooling will be, I want you prepared to dig your heels in when times are tough.

One/A pregnancy (complicated or not).

It may seem obvious that a pregnancy causes burnout, but when you have pregnancy brain it can seem otherwise. Somehow I thought I could keep on pushing because we were in a school year.

It took my third pregnancy before I actually planned activities when I would have to stop and rest.

Laid up on the couch and on bed rest for a few weeks, I pulled out activities for my preschooler and kindergartner, which nowadays are called busy bag activities.

Key to keeping your kids entertained and learning is to have everything they need for an activity in a bag. I could get up once, pull down several activities from the closet and have my two boys sit at my feet on the couch while we learned.

Two/ A long term sickness whether it’s your immediate or extended family.

In addition to pregnancy, I have experienced an ICU stay for my husband, an ICU stay for my sister and a long-term facility care for my mother-in-law.

At the time, it can seem that your life will never return to normal. It might not and may be changed. But change is also part of homeschooling.

I did four things to cope with what seemed like insurmountable stress.

  • I divided our school subjects in half and did half one day and the other half the next day.
  • I bought each kid a backpack so that we could learn on the go and moved our schoolroom into the backpacks.
  • I purchased easy workbooks because this is the time to use them.
  • I purchased an online subscription to Time4Learning.

Avoiding Top Homeschool Burnout Triggers

Three/ The transition to high school.

You will eventually get to high school and hear my heart when I say that is not the time to quit, but it may seem like it at the time.

If you have a rebellious teen it can make this time period worse.  One tip I learned was to be sure that your teen has a say in what he wants to learn and pursue.

Don’t feel like you have to give up everything you have dreamed of for your child, but know that they are entering adulthood and are a unique person.

Part of being a unique person is recognizing their interests, strengths and weaknesses and then allowing them explore them. When you’re at this point in your journey, remember what brought you to homeschooling, which is being able to raise a unique individual.

Instead of throwing in the towel and sending your kid to public school, work with him and decide whether or not an online high school is an option. Some kids do better by answering to somebody else.

My boys never had to experience this, but we also homeschooled from the beginning, which I have learned makes a huge difference.  If your child has had other teachers besides you, he may view that as normal.

Be willing to compromise, but not give up your standards always makes for a fair way of getting through the high school years.

Four/ When homeschool planning is overly ambitious.

Guilty as charged. I can always tell newer homeschoolers or homeschoolers who will burnout quickly by the exhaustive lists of homeschool subjects they think they will cover.

Writing it down is key to being sure your list is doable.

When you simply list it, and not plug a homeschool subject into a time slot on your day, it stays as overly ambitious. The next step is hitting a brick wall and burnout follows.

Overly ambitious homeschooling can backfire with sad consequences.

I have known families through the years that have lost their teens because they would not yield or compromise their plans. How sad.

Look at the tips on my three part series What Homeschool Subjects to Teach and When to Teach Them and Divide And Conquer The Ever Growing List of Homeschool Subjects.

Five/ Too many fun activities outside the house.

There have been years that we have been able to do more than other years, but balance is the key no matter how fun are the activities.

This is also exacerbated by how many kids you have. Don’t think that a mom with an only child can’t fall into this trap by trying to be sure her kid gets a social life.

Whether you are a mom of many or an only, your child needs you. There is no substitute for your guidance. Be selective on choosing outside activities and one thing I did when my kids wanted different ones was to alternate them each week.

One week we did art and the next week we did music to satisfy all of my kids. We went slower, but all of my kids benefited from mixing up and cutting back our activities.

Six/ Too many volunteer projects by mom.

When I conducted workshops, many of the moms confessed how many volunteer programs they were a part of.

I encourage you to make your family priority. Even good and worthy volunteering projects can add stress and cause burnout when it’s not necessary. As kids grow older and circumstances change, I have been able to do more things I enjoy.

From Daunting to Doable

Seven/ Failing to plan is planning to fail. It’s true.

The opposite end of overly ambitious planning is feeling like your wings would be clipped if you followed a more scripted schedule.

It takes time to find a middle ground that suits your unique personality. Key to success is knowing your personality and knowing how to rein yourself in.

For example, I know that I tend to be a drill sergeant and have my kids march to the minutes on a schedule (nobody liked me when I first started homeschooling).

All these years I have worked on being more flexible by following more of a block schedule or scheduling zones of times.

If you have the opposite problem, then start by scheduling things for 15 minutes at a time until you find a rhythm to fit your style. You can even use a timer in the beginning as you get the feel for the amount of time needed for a subject.

Training yourself to move through your day accomplishing what you plan without pushing you and your kids will lead to a productive and meaningful day.

Eight/ Job loss or change.

Coping with several of these changes too, I learned to cut back my school to just the core subjects as we adjusted to a new schedule or change in income.

We have owned our own business and my husband has worked 7 days a week for 12 hours days. In all the cases of job changes, I have allowed myself a month or so to adjust to the schedule. For example, when my husband worked 12 hours a day for 7 days a week, I got my kids up early as well so that they were ready for bed at the same time as my husband.

If you don’t get the rest of your household in sync with your husband’s schedule and try to maintain different family schedules, it can trigger stress.

Nine/Moving.

When we moved, I always thought I could keep on homeschooling during that stressful time. I learned that learning to pack and moving can come under Home Economics if you train your children while moving.

My boys always wanted to help pack and looking at the positive, moving is a wonderful time to declutter.

Instead of thinking that our schooling was being interrupted, I viewed that time as our time off of school. Of course we had to make up but it’s so much more easier making up when you choose to take time off to move.

Ten/ Unbending, inflexible, stubborn and immovable and no it’s not the toddler.

Flexible, bending and reasonable didn’t exactly abound in my life or should I say they are not my best qualities. However, homeschooling has a way of seasoning you to showcase those qualities.

Learning to adjust your homeschool course, accepting you and your kids shortcomings and allowing others to help you when you need it, keeps you on the sane road to homeschooling.

By giving you this heads up on things that you may experience in your journey, I hope you can enjoy the high moments that you will encounter and remember that the lows will pass.

Also, look at 4 Reasons Your Homeschooled Child is Uninspired To Learn (and what to do) and 3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

6 Best Homeschool Hacks Teaching Multi-Aged Children

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

6 Homeschool Hacks Teaching Multi-Age Children @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Teaching mixed ages of children together is a sanity-saving tip. And having specific how-tos is a must. Today, I have rounded up 6 homeschool hacks teaching multi-age children.

Tried and Tested Teaching Tips

Look at these specific ways to teach multiple ages of homeschooled children.

One/ Let the kids take turns reading.

When kids on the same reading level hear each other read, there may not be any motivation to improve. But when a younger sibling hears an older sibling reading, it’s personal and can inspire an immature reader to keep improving.

And when an older sibling hears a younger sibling reading, it can reinforce key or basic points about an idea or teaching point in a book or story.

Try reading round robin while each child takes a paragraph and it will keep all of your children learning and it’ll add some fun and spice to your day.

Two/ Listen to a motivating audio reading together.

Have you ever listened to a story told by Jim Weiss? If not, you may be missing out. Learning while a story is being told or listening to a book being read is an essential skill to lifelong learning.

Interest is a key point in learning to listen and so it’s important to hear stories that your children are all ears to listen to. Don’t just pick things to listen to willy nilly and don’t underestimate the value of learning how to listen well.

Three/ Map work.

Map work can be done together while each child works on his own skill set. The key to not becoming completely stressed out is to find one theme or time period for all the kids to work on together.

For example, if you’re studying the American Civil War then choose one or two maps from that same time period.

Older children can locate battle sites within a certain region or choose battle sites by year. Younger children can label the states involved in the war.

When my boys were younger, they also drew animals that lived in a certain area like deer or birds.

A map can be a project when your child goes beyond just labeling. Drawing in local foods, animals and landmarks also makes it coming alive.

We would spend a few days working on maps for a certain period. And by keeping the maps all within the same theme or time period, each child would put what piqued his interest about that area.

It was a great learning experience because my kids would learn from each other as child focused on something differently. It was an enriching experience for all of us.

Too, instead of all the work being on my shoulders, the children learned research skills and were responsible for their own learning.

Four/ Do ONE lapbook or notebook for ALL of your children.

Don’t think each child has to do a lapbook. Our Civil War lapbook is a joint project.

Each child added pages and the lapbook turned out unique and memorable.

Joint Civil War Lapbook @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

In addition, learning how to collaborate together, especially with a sibling is a lifelong skill.

If a child can’t get along with his brothers and sisters, he will have a hard time transitioning to a career or college which almost always involves collaborating.

Five/ Memory work.

Learning poetry or memorizing lists is another easy and valuable way to teach multiple ages. Each child can memorize an amount of lines or words that corresponds with his age.

This is a ton of fun and more than I realized as we did it through the years. Each child is normally adamant about repeating back his lines correctly and each sibling listening is equally adamant about correcting him if he falters.(wink)

Look at How To Teach Your Homeschooled Children Shakespeare to grab a helpful resource.

Six/Virtual field trips.

For the most part, my boys looked forward to field trips because it meant they could see other kids. And in today’s technology filled world there is no choice to have to attend only a physical location.

Having a choice of attending a virtual field trip without having to leave your home is a wonderful tool we need to embrace.

Virtual field trips that are interactive allows your kids to learn together without the stress of trying to leave the house when you’re zapped of energy or finances.

Look at my post 7 Benefits of Virtual Field Trips that May Change Your Perspective to get some ideas.

Whether you’re using a boxed curriculum or an eclectic curriculum, these 6 teaching shortcuts will keep learning fun and easier.

Also, grab some tips here 5 Days Of The Benefits & Challenges of Teaching Mixed Ages Together and grab my free form on that page for showing you which subjects are best taught together.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

Homeschool Co-op: The 5 BIG Questions You Need to Ask (before you join)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Homeschool Co-op The 5 BIG Questions You Need to Ask @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

When you find a match for a homeschool co-op that seems like a perfect match, the years fly back quickly and you never want the time spent with other homeschoolers to stop. Believe me, looking back now, our homeschool co-ops are some of our most cherished moments.

However, if you make a decision to join a homeschool co-op with pausing to ask these five questions, you can go from cherished to anguished.

And because there is no on set of rules in how any co-op is suppose to function, confusion can exist.

When Homeschool Co-ops Go from Delight to Drudgery

I encourage homeschoolers to ask these top 5 questions before they commit to a co-op or set one up because they are vital to keeping a homeschool co-op that is, a delight and not drudgery, to attend.

1. What is the purpose of the co-op?

Just because a group of families homeschool, that doesn’t mean they are like-minded when it comes to the reason why you meet together.

And unless you are absolutely clear as to your purpose for a co-op, you may actually bring more stress than satisfaction on your family.

2. What are the types of classes and who teaches? Are they for enrichment, socialization focused, field trip oriented or academic?

I very much honed my vision for our field trip and because my vision was clear,the activities I did to lead it were in line with the purpose. When leaders have knee-jerk reactions and change the direction of an established co-op, it can be disastrous.

You too should be able to articulate with detail as to what you want from it. I knew we were a field trip and socialization co-op and that took front and center.

In other words, for example, we didn’t attract people wanting us to teach their kids Latin. I felt like academic should be taught at home by the parents and our co-op’s focused stayed that way.

Oh sure, we did academics in our co-ops, but the emphasis was on learning with a group.

3. What is the age range and are siblings allowed?

There are many more co-ops doing things for young children like going to the zoo than they are opportunities for middle and high school.

However, they are groups that exist for middle and high school though you may have to drive a bit farther.

Stay flexible and especially if a co-op meets once a week or every other week, the added enrichment to your family can be a great resource.

4.  What is the cost?

This is an even bigger question now then it was when I started because “co-ops” have popped up where they are looking to make money off of homeschoolers.

I am all for entrepreneurship, but co-ops have been about support systems instead of a money making system.

Recently, when I was a speaker at the homeschool workshop in Atlanta, GA, I had 4 families walk out on me before I started my workshop about co-ops. They were there to only learn about how to make money.

I was glad and sad at the same time to see them go.

Glad because I will not bend when it comes to explaining how co-ops can add much enrichment to your homeschool journey,  but I was sad too because many homeschoolers feel that co-ops are mini private schools and outsiders have ascended as if vultures to rack up on our money.

So when asking about the cost, ask specifically questions like where does my money go and who gets paid.

5. Is the group inclusive?

Just because a group is inclusive doesn’t mean you want to attend.

You need to understand what a group means by inclusive. You may want to be part of a group that limits its members to a certain faith, view or not.

You decide, but it’s good to know before you jump in and find the group doesn’t meet your expectations.

Look at these other tips to help you. Homeschool Co-ops Turned Private Schools, Homeschool Co-ops, Support Groups and Regional Groups. How Does It All Fit and Rules for Homeschool Co-ops. Essential or Excessive.

What questions do you ask before you join a homeschool co-op?

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

 

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10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 2

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 2 Confidence @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Today, I’m continuing on in my 10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 1  and sharing about a comment that most homeschool moms feel uncomfortable replying to, which is “you must be so confident.”

Most homeschool moms  I know are rockin’ it as they homeschool, but are modest which is why it can feel uncomfortable talking about how confident they are.

Why Homeschoolers Should Be Confident?

Confidence, I feel, for us as homeschool educators is akin to courage.

It reminds me of the quote by Nelson Mandela, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

The difference between a homeschool mom and a mom who may choose public school because of fear is that despite fear, a homeschool educator trusts, believes and feels assured of her abilities to move forward to homeschool.

Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom

Let me break this down.

A homeschool mom is not trusting blindly or based on emotion or passion alone, which are both important, but they are not the complete basis for confidence.

A homeschool just doesn’t believe homeschool will be successful, but she can look at the many facts and successful families that have gone ahead of her.

It’s facts like this from NHERI, which discuss how our homeschool graduates are performing.

The SAT 2014 test scores of college-bound homeschool students were higher than the national average of all college-bound seniors that same year. Some 13,549 homeschool seniors had the following mean scores: 567 in critical reading, 521 in mathematics, and 535 in writing (College Board, 2014a). The mean SAT scores for all college-bound seniors in 2014 were 497 in critical reading, 513 in mathematics, and 487 in writing (College Board, 2014b). The homeschool students’ SAT scores were 0.61 standard deviation higher in reading, 0.26 standard deviation higher in mathematics, and 0.42 standard deviation higher in writing than those of all college-bound seniors taking the SAT, and these are notably large differences.

And look at my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work.

Then, a homeschool educator knows that she did not use a state approved curriculum to teach her child how to potty train or how to teach her native tongue to her child. She knows her home is the center of education and the first place of education.

Her previous successes as a parent spill over and overflow when she starts on the next natural step of parenting, which is educating her child.

Knowing that there will be bumps along the way and plenty of things she does not know, a home school is moved to become the professional her child needs. She doesn’t need to know about ALL the methods of teaching a child or ALL the curriculum, but only what her children need to know.

Confidence is like a weak muscle. The more you use it, the stronger and more defined it becomes.

In the beginning, it’s hard to have confidence because your children may be real young or because you are new.

However, year after year, confidence soars and becomes mighty as you see your children master reading (with happy tears in your eyes) and you see your three-year-old now a successful high school teen or young adult.

That is the difference between a homeschool mom who presses on despite her fears. She doesn’t succumb to public school because of fear.

What have you accomplished with confidence?

Also, look at my articles From Struggling Homeschooler to Empowered Educator, When does homeschooling become “normal”, and Cultivating the Desire to Homeschool.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.