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When the Homeschooling Honeymoon is Over

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

My wedding ring was frozen in an ice cube and the ice cube was floating in a glass of champagne when the Mr. proposed to me.  And then there were the soft petals of my favorite rose strewn all over the walk way and into our room.

I have so many fond memories of my honeymoon, but quickly realized after marriage that a successful marriage requires a lot of hard work.

A Fresh Start in Homeschool?

It could not be one prolonged honeymoon.

Doing laundry, making a living, cooking meals, setting up a budget, questions like how to raise children that would come along and where we would live were decisions that as partners we had to make.

The scope of the work that was now involved was not easy, no matter how much I prepared my mind and heart.

Truly, the honeymoon was over.

When the Homeschooling Honeymoon Is Over @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Homeschooling is similar in a lot of ways.

We may have had some romantic notions that everything would work out and nothing would go wrong.

Too, we may not have realized the amount of work that is involved in homeschooling.

Perhaps we thought we would pick up where public school left off, but realize now we have to go over information that should have been previously mastered.

When a new bee begins to homeschool, I often think about the period of a couple’s honeymoon.

Before marriage, we can so conveniently overlook the faults of our mates. Whatever bad traits our mates have though can’t be hidden during the honeymoon period.

Though I do feel homeschooling is a perfect solution for the majority of families and there are no hidden faults, there are ones we create or foster because of our lack of experience.

For example, about three months or so into homeschooling, a new homeschooler may now start to question the choice to homeschool or the curriculum that she is using.

How to Go From Thinking to Doing

We may not be as in love with the idea of homeschooling because the day to day grind of reality sets in.

What can be done?

Like a marriage, homeschooling should not be based on idealistic infatuations but on genuine love, caring, devotion and facts.

Loyalty too is a virtue that is missing in so many marriages.

It mean sticking to something even in the face of tough times. Instead of looking at the negative attitudes your children may have developed while away from you, focus on what you want from your children.

Are you loyal to your children and the decision to homeschool?

Do not allow whatever disappointments you may have now in your family or children to keep you from going forward in what you desire your family to be. Work at it. Who is afraid of hard work anyway?

If you need to go back over some material not previously understood by your child, then that is where you are. Begin there and go forward.

Realize too that not every decision you made in the beginning when you started was a bad one also helps to maintain balance.

For example, if you feel like it’s your curricula that is not working out, give it another month instead of pitching that curricula and starting another. Check out Stop Switching Your Curriculum, Switch Your Course of Study.

Don’t start your journey off curriculum hopping. It’s hard to get off that path once you start down it.

It takes at least 3 months to know whether or not a curriculum is working. Remember, it could be something else that is not working right like a schedule or lack of teacher experience.

Give it time and reflect on what brought you to homeschooling.

The same blessings you want to receive are still there. They have to be accomplished with hard work now and not a drawn out honeymoon period.

Time is a precious commodity no matter the age of our child.

It requires time to have a friendship with our children if they are teenagers.

If they are younger, our time is needed to teach them to read, how to hold a pencil and how to pick up after themselves. How your child best learns and processes information may now be more clear to you.

Comparing and contrasting homeschooling approaches like Classical, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason and Unschooling is enough to make the head spin of any new homeschooling parent. Check out my articles on understanding the different homeschool approaches.

It all requires tedious work and time but successfully homeschooling IS a reachable goal.

Homeschooling, like a well established and loving marriage is built upon every tiny act of love and kindness.

I am glad that my honeymoon has been over for many, many years. Then, I could see the precious beauty of my husband’s inner person and the one very vital element to both a good marriage and successfully homeschooling – commitment!

You can do it!

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Tina Signature 2015c

Check Out My Top Reads for New Homeschoolers

Dear New Homeschooler – Are You Making this BIG Mistake? (I Was)

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When I first started homeschooling, it took me a long time to learn a tiny two letter word – NO.

To this day, I still ask myself if I know how to say No.

Do You Struggle to Find Time to Homeschool?

Dear New Homeschooler - Are You Making this BIG Mistake @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

What do I try to say no to each year?

  • No to over extending myself in activities outside the home.
  • No to unrealistic expectations of myself, my husband and my children as I start off the new year.
  • No to leading more co-ops, groups or field trips than I can do.
  • No to being “the mom” that always needs to be included in hosting every baby shower and wedding shower. (This is a hard one for me because I love to plan.)
  • No to filling our schedule up with so many extracurricular activities.

Homeschooling moms by nature tend to be overachievers. What is our strength can be a potential negative if we don’t keep it in check.

Trying to right all the wrongs of public school, I did plan every minute of our day when I started homeschool.

I didn’t know how to say no to friends popping in at my house unplanned or who interrupted my homeschooling day. Quality time with my kids suffered and I had learned a valuable lesson quickly.

Finding balance was not easy because then I went to extreme lengths by isolating myself from my non-homeschooling friends.

It took another year or so before I learned to graciously just say the tiny two letter  NO and find my center.

The ability to not limit what you physically, emotionally and mentally can do in the homeschooling lifestyle could be a potential pitfall in your journey.

As new homeschoolers, who want to prove how successful they are, we aim too high or over reach by setting unrealistic expectations of what can be done in any given year.

The time will come when you will have smooth sailing and can give back to others. However, that time is not when you are new or struggling.

If we want to avoid pitfalls or traps of homeschooling busyness, we need to remember something very basic – say No.

What have you said no to this year?

Be sure to read my FREE 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers

Grab some more courage to say NO!

It’s a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Have you heard from some homeschoolers say it’s a new homeschool year and my child wants to go back to public school? Also, you’ll love more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

If there is a subject that sparks much controversy among homeschoolers, it has to be the struggle of whether or not you should send your homeschooled child to public school.

I hear from new homeschoolers and struggling homeschoolers who tell me that their child misses his friends.

They have no friends now that they are homeschooling or their child just wants to “check out” public school.

It's a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

You are not alone.

Even seasoned homeschoolers wrestle with the same decision some years.

What You’ve Got to Know About Homeschool Struggles

One school of thought touts I am the parent, you’re the child, so you are not given the choice to make that kind of decision.

It is our given right and responsibility as the parents and we will decide.

The second school of thought touts talking to the child to get his opinion, not making the decision a matter of a power struggle and letting a child test out public school.

From my experience in helping homeschoolers, it seems the answer is always a balance of those two schools of thought.

However, I do not agree with the fact that one has to experience something to appreciate the negative or positive affects.

We don’t have to experience pain to know it hurts.

It is true that any child regardless of what age does not have the experience to make such an important decision about their education.

Check out Some of My Favorite Reads Below When Homeschooling Gets Tough

5 BEST How to Homeschool Books

I've rounded up some of the best books to help you get started homeschooling.

The responsibility for raising our children with not only academic standards, but Godly values falls squarely on the parent’s shoulders.

The child or teen is not the third partner to the parenting and I have never seen anything positive come from elevating a child to that status unknowingly.

More New Homeschool Year And My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School Posts

On the flip side, children deserve dignity and respect for the things that concern them. They need to be validated.

This means they need to be heard. If we don’t listen to them, yes anything, could become a power struggle.

Children need to know that we will listen to them even when we hit homeschooling struggles.

7 Questions Worth Asking When It’s A New Homeschool Year And My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School

What can parents and a child do to make their homeschooling situation improve?

Here are a few tips and questions to ponder.

1. What brought you to homeschooling in the first place?

The reasons probably still exist. Will they go away if you send them back to public school?

2. Did you explain your decision to homeschool your child in the beginning?

It doesn’t mean you are including your child in on the decision that is yours alone to make, but it shows them that you care about their feelings and future when you do explain your decision.

Children can understand our reasons even though they may not agree with the decision at the time.

What they will agree on later, if they don’t now, is the love you showed in pouring out your feelings to them. There is nothing wrong with showing our children that we are vulnerable.

3. As parents, can we trust in our ability to teach our children knowing that nobody loves them more than we do?

We are perfectly equipped to homeschool for a lifetime.

Too, there is no stronger force than love. I say this now having graduated two of my sons.

Love moves a parent to make ANYTHING happen that needs to so that your child gets what they need. You don’t have to know everything, you just have to be willing to try anything.

4. Are the teachers and peers at school the kind that we want to influence our children?

5. Are families ties strengthened at public school or is there a deterioration of parental respect and authority?

6. Have I discussed with my child what public school is really like?

Some children have misconceptions thinking perhaps their days will be spent in bliss.

7. If what you are using now is not working regarding curricula and your child told you so, will you S-T- R-E-T-C- H yourself beyond your comfort zone?

Each person has to carefully weigh their circumstances.

Any advice has to be sifted through as we possible can’t know the personal circumstances of others.

Examine your circumstances, reconfirm your love for homeschooling and for all the reasons that brought you to homeschooling.

Remember homeschooling is so much more than curricula, academic endeavor and grades.

Those are important, but the heart of your child is of far more worth.
Use your life’s experiences and remember like any journey, we can all lose our way.
Stop, reevaluate, reconfirm, and reboot.

I enjoyed this quote by Henry Ford that puts things in perspective for me each year.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Homeschool Confession – My Homeschool Mistakes

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Homeschool confession my homeschool mistakes. Besides mistakes are part of learning how to homeschool. Do you want to hear about some of my blunders?

Homeschool mistakes are part of learning not what to do when homeschooling. However, in the beginning it’s hard to view it that way.

Too, nobody wants to do the trial and error method with their kids.

We have a few short years to homeschool our kids and we want to maximize our efforts.

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes

If I share just three of my mistakes maybe they can save you some grief.

Not leaving the public school mentality.

Isn’t that hard to do? Especially because I was the product of public school.

For example, I never questioned why I needed to test, I just blindly followed the masses.

I realized that leaving the public school mentality didn’t mean not using some of the practical tips that did work in public school at home. 

It just meant to leave behind what I didn’t need because I was not teaching my kids, not a classroom.

New Homeschooler

Because we live in this world, it’s hard to not be affected by the pressure of test, perform and out do.

My sons are just normal boys who have been privately tutored by me. That’s all.

I left public school because I didn’t want to model it at home, not just change geography.

Comparison to other homeschool moms, dad and oh yes their children.

I am guilty. It seemed like some other mom had this whole homeschool thing figured out.

Then I find out later her beginnings were as humble as mine.

I thought other dads did more of the teaching until I realized that statistics show that about 85% or more of the teaching is shouldered by the mother.

I guess it just sounded good when dad did a science experiment with their sons. My science experiments were not that exciting in the beginning. Can you say boring teacher?

Boring and now a show off. Yes, I thought I had to “show off” my progress to my mother-in-law who was not supportive of our decision to homeschool in the beginning.

I had to prove her wrong and was humbled in a lesson I won’t forget.

Trying to show off my teaching skills to her, I asked Mr. Senior 2013 who I was then teaching to read to show us the long i sound. Yes he did.

He promptly went and got the longest piece of white butcher paper he could tear off the roll.

Laying the paper down on the floor, which was twice as long as grandma, my poor baby proceeded to draw the longest i I had ever seen.  I shuffled off in shame.

What to Expect from the Homeschool Kickstarter

From my struggle, I created a curriculum for new homeschool educators. And taught this course in person to new homeschoolers. I’ve now put my course online for all new homeschoolers

More shamed at the fact that I was trying to show off instead of what really was funny at the time though I didn’t feel that way.

Humble me for I needed it for the road ahead.

With the 6 modules and 29 workshops, I walk you step-by-step through beginning homeschooling, understanding the homeschool lifestyle, choosing curriculum, and understanding how to fit it all in a day.

Look at what you’ll learn.

  • Learn how to identify what is and what is not homeschooling. It can mean the difference in succeeding or succumbing to the mindset you want to leave behind.
  • Choose curriculum wisely instead of using the oh it looks good method.
  • Organize the areas of life that collide when you begin to homeschool.
  • Identify and create the right schedule for your family’s rhythm.
  • Understand what is important to teach from K to High School. (Oh, did I tell you I have kids well past 10 years old?)
Not investing more time in my education as a teacher.

Like many new homeschoolers, I too focused solely on my children and their need for a support group, curriculum, socialization and field trip.

It took me a few years before I realized that the best way to help my children was to become the best teacher I could be.

A public school teacher is required to take continuing education classes. Why shouldn’t I?

If I didn’t take time to read blogs, join support groups, buy teacher helps and attend homeschool conventions I couldn’t say I was schooling for my children.

Feelings of guilt that I had associated with longing to interact with other homeschool moms had to be left behind.

Association has to be a vital part of my everyday teaching. Online forum groups were not a waste of time but needed for refreshment and encouragement.

New to Homeschool

Like all things, the time I took for educating myself and camaraderie had to have a place in my life to be balanced.

Your turn: Do you have a story we can learn from? I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes

I thought about this quote today because after many repeated failures, pursuit can turn to passion for homeschooling.

“Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths.

Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive.”

~ Stacey Charter ~

You’ll also love these reads for New Homeschoolers:

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Deschool – Get off the Public School Treadmill!

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Deschool get off the public school treadmill is about freedom. Also, you’ll love more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

When teaching my new homeschooler workshops in person, I tried to use the term deschool right away so that new homeschoolers or those that are thinking about homeschooling have time to wrap their mind around the concept.

Though there are many facets about deschooling that you will want to embrace over the course of your journey, I want to put it down in layman’s terms for the new homeschoolers.

Deschool - Get Off the Public School Treadmill @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Running and burning energy but not really traveling anywhere is what it is like to be on a treadmill.

Are Deschooling and Unschooling Two Very Different Terms

Deschooling is about getting off that public school treadmill and transitioning to a new life.

For some homeschoolers it may include some rest time.

For others it may be defining what their family educational goals are.

Each family will have different goals during their deschooling period.

Have you ever done a toxin cleanse?  I love the feeling afterwards because I have a new pep in my step.

Deschooling is a period of time to shove back from rigid thinking and adjust the pep in your step to a new way of life.

That is how some homeschoolers define this time period.

More Resources for Why My Kids Are Homeschooled

This time period allows you to re-train your mind and body and to make drastic life changes.

You want to make changes that will be permanent and to start fresh and motivated.

Letting go of preconceived ideas and notions of what education is suppose to look like and defining what you want your children to learn is what deschooling is about too.

It is a time to adopt your definition of education, to discover that you may want to be more self-educated than to be handed curricula, to join home school support groups, to meet and incorporate new homeschooling friends into your lives and the ability and power to say no to labels.

Say NO to Uniform Standards Set for the Masses

Furthermore, it could include saying no to standards by the state.

Why spend so much time trying to figure out where your child is SUPPOSE to be and what other children his age are doing? 

Forget what everybody else is doing.

Spend your time and energy focusing on where your child is NOW and move forward!

Deschooling is knowing that we have homeschool freedom but it’s also utilizing that freedom to suit our family.

Some think deschooling means doing nothing. It might for some. 

And we don’t want to be critical of those families who may need physical rest now.

The rigors of getting up early to catch a bus, having long school days complicated with an enormous amount of homework is physically draining. 

The truth of it is that we really don’t know what another homeschool family has been through.

For all of us it does mean transitioning to a new lifestyle.

Think about huge transitions in your life up until this point. 

When we transition to a different lifestyle whether that significant change was having a baby or switching careers, our schedules changed.

We allowed ourselves time to adjust to a new schedule and we let go of ideas and goals that at the time seem realistic.

We now see that some of our ideas may have been idealistic.

It is quite common for even seasoned veterans to not have taken a period of deschooling and they may be headed down burnout road.

The Power of REST

Deschooling can be a period of few week to a few months depending on the level of stress your family experienced.

Take time to deschool and get off the public school treadmill.

One of the very best books to bring reality back to our lives, renew your passion for homeschooling or just to propel you forward on the road to homeschooling is Deschooling Gently.

Not only is it a great read, but the encouragement you receive from it will last years.

Have you let go? How is your deschooling coming? What activities and goals are you including to deschool?