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When the Homeschooling Honeymoon is Over

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

My wedding ring was frozen in an ice cube and the ice cube was floating in a glass of champagne when the Mr. proposed to me.  And then there were the soft petals of my favorite rose strewn all over the walk way and into our room.

I have so many fond memories of my honeymoon, but quickly realized after marriage that a successful marriage requires a lot of hard work.

A Fresh Start in Homeschool?

It could not be one prolonged honeymoon.

Doing laundry, making a living, cooking meals, setting up a budget, questions like how to raise children that would come along and where we would live were decisions that as partners we had to make.

The scope of the work that was now involved was not easy, no matter how much I prepared my mind and heart.

Truly, the honeymoon was over.

When the Homeschooling Honeymoon Is Over @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Homeschooling is similar in a lot of ways.

We may have had some romantic notions that everything would work out and nothing would go wrong.

Too, we may not have realized the amount of work that is involved in homeschooling.

Perhaps we thought we would pick up where public school left off, but realize now we have to go over information that should have been previously mastered.

When a new bee begins to homeschool, I often think about the period of a couple’s honeymoon.

Before marriage, we can so conveniently overlook the faults of our mates. Whatever bad traits our mates have though can’t be hidden during the honeymoon period.

Though I do feel homeschooling is a perfect solution for the majority of families and there are no hidden faults, there are ones we create or foster because of our lack of experience.

For example, about three months or so into homeschooling, a new homeschooler may now start to question the choice to homeschool or the curriculum that she is using.

How to Go From Thinking to Doing

We may not be as in love with the idea of homeschooling because the day to day grind of reality sets in.

What can be done?

Like a marriage, homeschooling should not be based on idealistic infatuations but on genuine love, caring, devotion and facts.

Loyalty too is a virtue that is missing in so many marriages.

It mean sticking to something even in the face of tough times. Instead of looking at the negative attitudes your children may have developed while away from you, focus on what you want from your children.

Are you loyal to your children and the decision to homeschool?

Do not allow whatever disappointments you may have now in your family or children to keep you from going forward in what you desire your family to be. Work at it. Who is afraid of hard work anyway?

If you need to go back over some material not previously understood by your child, then that is where you are. Begin there and go forward.

Realize too that not every decision you made in the beginning when you started was a bad one also helps to maintain balance.

For example, if you feel like it’s your curricula that is not working out, give it another month instead of pitching that curricula and starting another. Check out Stop Switching Your Curriculum, Switch Your Course of Study.

Don’t start your journey off curriculum hopping. It’s hard to get off that path once you start down it.

It takes at least 3 months to know whether or not a curriculum is working. Remember, it could be something else that is not working right like a schedule or lack of teacher experience.

Give it time and reflect on what brought you to homeschooling.

The same blessings you want to receive are still there. They have to be accomplished with hard work now and not a drawn out honeymoon period.

Time is a precious commodity no matter the age of our child.

It requires time to have a friendship with our children if they are teenagers.

If they are younger, our time is needed to teach them to read, how to hold a pencil and how to pick up after themselves. How your child best learns and processes information may now be more clear to you.

Comparing and contrasting homeschooling approaches like Classical, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason and Unschooling is enough to make the head spin of any new homeschooling parent. Check out my articles on understanding the different homeschool approaches.

It all requires tedious work and time but successfully homeschooling IS a reachable goal.

Homeschooling, like a well established and loving marriage is built upon every tiny act of love and kindness.

I am glad that my honeymoon has been over for many, many years. Then, I could see the precious beauty of my husband’s inner person and the one very vital element to both a good marriage and successfully homeschooling – commitment!

You can do it!

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Tina Signature 2015c

Check Out My Top Reads for New Homeschoolers

Dear New Homeschooler – Are You Making this BIG Mistake? (I Was)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When I first started homeschooling, it took me a long time to learn a tiny two letter word – NO.

To this day, I still ask myself if I know how to say No.

Do You Struggle to Find Time to Homeschool?

Dear New Homeschooler - Are You Making this BIG Mistake @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

What do I try to say no to each year?

  • No to over extending myself in activities outside the home.
  • No to unrealistic expectations of myself, my husband and my children as I start off the new year.
  • No to leading more co-ops, groups or field trips than I can do.
  • No to being “the mom” that always needs to be included in hosting every baby shower and wedding shower. (This is a hard one for me because I love to plan.)
  • No to filling our schedule up with so many extracurricular activities.

Homeschooling moms by nature tend to be overachievers. What is our strength can be a potential negative if we don’t keep it in check.

Trying to right all the wrongs of public school, I did plan every minute of our day when I started homeschool.

I didn’t know how to say no to friends popping in at my house unplanned or who interrupted my homeschooling day. Quality time with my kids suffered and I had learned a valuable lesson quickly.

Finding balance was not easy because then I went to extreme lengths by isolating myself from my non-homeschooling friends.

It took another year or so before I learned to graciously just say the tiny two letter  NO and find my center.

The ability to not limit what you physically, emotionally and mentally can do in the homeschooling lifestyle could be a potential pitfall in your journey.

As new homeschoolers, who want to prove how successful they are, we aim too high or over reach by setting unrealistic expectations of what can be done in any given year.

The time will come when you will have smooth sailing and can give back to others. However, that time is not when you are new or struggling.

If we want to avoid pitfalls or traps of homeschooling busyness, we need to remember something very basic – say No.

What have you said no to this year?

Be sure to read my FREE 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers

Grab some more courage to say NO!

It’s a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Have you heard from some homeschoolers say it’s a new homeschool year and my child wants to go back to public school? Also, you’ll love more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

If there is a subject that sparks much controversy among homeschoolers, it has to be the struggle of whether or not you should send your homeschooled child to public school.

I hear from new homeschoolers and struggling homeschoolers who tell me that their child misses his friends.

They have no friends now that they are homeschooling or their child just wants to “check out” public school.

It's a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

You are not alone.

Even seasoned homeschoolers wrestle with the same decision some years.

What You’ve Got to Know About Homeschool Struggles

One school of thought touts I am the parent, you’re the child, so you are not given the choice to make that kind of decision.

It is our given right and responsibility as the parents and we will decide.

The second school of thought touts talking to the child to get his opinion, not making the decision a matter of a power struggle and letting a child test out public school.

From my experience in helping homeschoolers, it seems the answer is always a balance of those two schools of thought.

However, I do not agree with the fact that one has to experience something to appreciate the negative or positive affects.

We don’t have to experience pain to know it hurts.

It is true that any child regardless of what age does not have the experience to make such an important decision about their education.

Check out Some of My Favorite Reads Below When Homeschooling Gets Tough

5 BEST How to Homeschool Books

I've rounded up some of the best books to help you get started homeschooling.

The responsibility for raising our children with not only academic standards, but Godly values falls squarely on the parent’s shoulders.

The child or teen is not the third partner to the parenting and I have never seen anything positive come from elevating a child to that status unknowingly.

More New Homeschool Year And My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School Posts

On the flip side, children deserve dignity and respect for the things that concern them. They need to be validated.

This means they need to be heard. If we don’t listen to them, yes anything, could become a power struggle.

Children need to know that we will listen to them even when we hit homeschooling struggles.

7 Questions Worth Asking When It’s A New Homeschool Year And My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School

What can parents and a child do to make their homeschooling situation improve?

Here are a few tips and questions to ponder.

1. What brought you to homeschooling in the first place?

The reasons probably still exist. Will they go away if you send them back to public school?

2. Did you explain your decision to homeschool your child in the beginning?

It doesn’t mean you are including your child in on the decision that is yours alone to make, but it shows them that you care about their feelings and future when you do explain your decision.

Children can understand our reasons even though they may not agree with the decision at the time.

What they will agree on later, if they don’t now, is the love you showed in pouring out your feelings to them. There is nothing wrong with showing our children that we are vulnerable.

3. As parents, can we trust in our ability to teach our children knowing that nobody loves them more than we do?

We are perfectly equipped to homeschool for a lifetime.

Too, there is no stronger force than love. I say this now having graduated two of my sons.

Love moves a parent to make ANYTHING happen that needs to so that your child gets what they need. You don’t have to know everything, you just have to be willing to try anything.

4. Are the teachers and peers at school the kind that we want to influence our children?

5. Are families ties strengthened at public school or is there a deterioration of parental respect and authority?

6. Have I discussed with my child what public school is really like?

Some children have misconceptions thinking perhaps their days will be spent in bliss.

7. If what you are using now is not working regarding curricula and your child told you so, will you S-T- R-E-T-C- H yourself beyond your comfort zone?

Each person has to carefully weigh their circumstances.

Any advice has to be sifted through as we possible can’t know the personal circumstances of others.

Examine your circumstances, reconfirm your love for homeschooling and for all the reasons that brought you to homeschooling.

Remember homeschooling is so much more than curricula, academic endeavor and grades.

Those are important, but the heart of your child is of far more worth.
Use your life’s experiences and remember like any journey, we can all lose our way.
Stop, reevaluate, reconfirm, and reboot.

I enjoyed this quote by Henry Ford that puts things in perspective for me each year.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Blurring the Line Between Living and Learning When Homeschooling

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I remember the year I gave up boxed curriculum because it was not only terrifying, but I felt overwhelmed.

Giving up a boxed curriculum was a relief though because it helped me to understand the difference between teaching a child and teaching a curriculum.

On the flip side, it brought on greater responsibility as a mentor, which is the part that is overwhelming because I didn’t have a teaching background.

From Homeschool Fear to Focus

Fear of our children being left behind can paralyze the best homeschool mom, and I think it’s a justified fear. Nobody wants to feel they have invested 15 years or more of homeschooling only to feel like a failure.

However, I also believe that fear can be turned to focus. Focus gives you a direction and clarity in your school.

Up until the time I let go of the boxed curriculum, the line between living and learning was not blurred.

School was my focus and not learning. I was curriculum driven instead of family-focused.Blurring the Line Between Living and Learning When Homeschooling @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusFocusing on testing, schedules and the approval of my in-laws did not allow me to discover how unique my children are.

Since we all want to succeed, blurring the line between living and learning has to be viewed as a positive.

Belief comes from your heart and from the desire to do the best with the precious children God has given you. I struggle too with not falling victim to this world’s institutionalized way of thinking.

3 Ways to Blur the Line Between Living and Learning

1.Schooling only from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. has to be abandoned and it is a heart wrenching struggle.

Somehow we think that if we keep the exact school hours of public school that we will meet our  goals. The longer you homeschool, you come to appreciate it’s important to have consistency, but it is quality that really matters.

For example, a twenty minute interactive grammar lesson each day is of more value than endless hours of worksheets with no purpose.

From struggles throughout the years though can come conviction.

2. Looking back, it wasn’t the boxed curriculum I needed to let go of, but it was my own view that boxed me in.

Curriculum laid out can save lots of teacher time prep. Don’t take an all or nothing view to curriculum like I did. I thought I either had to lesson plan or use a boxed curriculum.

I soon learned that if I used only part of a boxed curriculum and put together some of my own lesson plans that it was still a good value for my money.

Do a unit study, but follow a textbook if you are more comfortable. Try a hands on math project like a lapbook.

Read your history textbook but allow your boys to draw cartoons illustrating the history. For your girls who dream about fashion, let them draw costumes for that time period.

For science start a bug zoo jar collection with your little ones.

Surprise your teens who need a social outlet by going to a movie theater first thing in the morning and feel homeschool freedom.

Pack a lunch and drag all your art supplies to the park. Lay out there on a blanket and enjoy your nature journal as you praise the Creator along with your children.

It doesn’t have to be about wild abandonment of tests, schedules or textbooks if you want them.


3. Blurring the line means we are keenly aware of allowing our everyday life and experiences to train our children.

Day to day meaningful conversations become a normal part of teaching your children.

The longer I homeschool the harder it becomes to describe in my lesson planner what was parenting and was what homeschooling. Some days there is just no difference between the two.

It is about getting to actually know your son or daughter that you thought you knew so well before.

Allowing your children to hear your expressions each day of your deep love for Godly things and His creation becomes more parenting than homeschooling.

Each year as I homeschool I am humbled about things I have learned. Sharing what I have learned hopefully helps you to blur the line between living and learning.

Blurring the line between living and learning – how do you do it?

You’ll love reading a few other tips:

Hugs and love ya,

 

Also, check out:
Top 5 Mistakes of New Homeschoolers
From Struggling Homeschooler to Empowered Educator
How to Fake Homeschooling

New Homeschooler – Mustering the Courage to Face THE 4 Homeschool Biggies Part 2

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today, in new homeschooler – mustering the courage to face the 4 homeschool biggies part 2, I want to clue you in on two more areas that you want to take time in your first few years of homeschooling to address.

In New Homeschooler – Mustering the Courage to Face THE 4 Homeschool Biggies Part 1, I shared tips on taming the curriculum colossus and defending against the socialization hype.

Can You Really Afford to Begin Homeschooling Without Knowing This?

But the next two homeschool biggies, which I will share in a moment, are equally important to try to tame early on in your journey.

It has been my experience that when new homeschoolers hop on the curriculum roller coaster, they don’t seem to get off until they have exhausted the ride, which is normally several years down the road.

By then, they have lost valuable time in learning how to address other important areas of homeschooling, which will be of more lasting value only if they had taken time to address them earlier.

Try to balance becoming acquainted with homeschool curriculum with making time to be an organized homeschooler, which is the next homeschool biggie to tame.

3. Organized Homeschooler – Yes You Can! Organization means something different when we homeschool.

I have found that explaining what it is not helps to bring relief instead of you becoming stressed out to the point that you don’t think you can.

This way you adopt organization that fits your family and not adjust to the way somebody else does things.

One of the most encouraging sayings I have heard is by Maria Gracia of Get Organized Now when she says “organization is a decision, not a disease” and I couldn’t agree more.

Empower yourself!

Simply put, organization is communication and we all have the need to communicate. What do I mean by this?

Well, if you think about, if you want your children to begin school at a certain time, then not only orally communicate it, but set up a chart where they can see what is expected of them.

If you want your children to check mark items on a food list, which they have used up in the kitchen, then prepare a grocery list and put it in a highly visible place in the kitchen. This keeps the guesswork out of what groceries you need to buy each month.

Communicate to them by preparing a system that works for your home and makes your job as home educator much more satisfying.

If you want your children to be responsible for picking their room up and doing chores each day, communicate to them by setting up a system, like a chore chart. Communication equals organization.

Organization is not for people who have it together, but it is for people who do not expect their family to guess at what their expectations are. Does that make sense?

Then with communication comes calm and organization in your home. It brings relief to chaos because you implemented a system and it also makes homeschooling a delight instead of drudgery.

Organization does not require some super human feat, but it requires the desire to change what is not working.

Get off the curriculum roller coaster because you will have many years to learn about curriculum.

Right behind taming the curriculum colossus, defending against the socialization hype and setting up a communication system are concerns over lesson planning, record keeping and testing.

4. Lesson Planning, Record Keeping and Testing.

Along with worries about curriculum comes the nagging worry deep down that our children will be behind or get behind if we don’t test or learn to lesson plan.

What I have learned along the way after teaching all of my sons how to read and write is that anytime I have felt that something is not working, I could change what I was using instantly.

Too, one-to-one tutoring is the best way of learning. This means that after a few years, I didn’t worry about testing my sons in the early years because I didn’t need a test telling me what they did or didn’t know.

Teaching them each day, I could tell you the strengths and weaknesses of each child.

Testing was a method introduced when you have to teach masses or a class, which generally is about 12 kids. Do you have 12 kids? If so, drop me a line, but otherwise for the rest of us, our  one-to-one time with our children gives a clear picture of their skills.

Oh sure, you can test anytime you want to and at the bottom I will add some of my posts about testing to help you.

As far as record keeping, from junior high to high school is when you need to be concerned about saving work. I have saved all of Mr. Senior 2013’s work but realized later I didn’t need near that much. New Homeschooler Mustering the Courage to Face the 4 Homeschool Biggies Part 2 @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusJournaling was so much better for me in the beginning as I learned to lesson plan.

Journaling what we had actually done for the day was a precursor to lesson planning. Why? Because it gave me a realistic picture of what we could actually do for the day instead of some glamorous looking lesson plans on paper that we couldn’t accomplish in two days let alone one day.

Stepping back from even just one of these homeschool biggies and focusing on each area in a balanced way will put you miles ahead of the homeschool learning curve.

Not only that but you will be able to savor your first couple of years instead of meeting each day with stress.

Which areas do you think will give you the greatest concern? I’m listening!

Hugs and love ya,

Tina Signature 2015c

Grab some more ammo to arm you for the new homeschool year. Check out these tips:
The Ultimate Guide for New Homeschoolers
What Do You Fear Most About Homeschooling?
Read my 31 Day Free Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers