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8 Colossal Pitfalls of Homeschooling in the WHAT IF World

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When I imagine how things are going to be, I tend to be dramatic. Is that a nice way of saying I can be delusional? The pitfalls of homeschooling are plenty if you let them sidetrack you from your vision. Instead of losing vision, hone your goals.

For example, when I started homeschooling, I had visions of children eager to learn each day around our little public school desk. My house would be kept tidy every day. And laundry would never get more than a load or two behind. Supper would be on the table at 5:00 p.m. on the dot. Delusional I am telling you.

DELUSIONAL HOMESCHOOLING OR DELIBERATE HOMESCHOOLING

High levels of confidence, conviction, and fortitude wane easily and can be completely sucked out of us if we enter the what if . . . world of homeschooling.

Look at these potential 8 colossal pitfalls, if you let them.

What if

. . . I start to homeschool and my children get behind?

Guess what? They will. That is what catching up is about. Look at my article, Am I Doing Enough When Homeschooling.

. . . I choose not to test my children. Will I be doing them a disservice?

Look here at my tips about how to measure progress at my article, Narration – Telling Back or Testing? Books that Make Teaching Narration Easy Peazy.

. . . I’m not a creative person? I might be the most boring teacher.

You may, but you can change and learn too.

Look at how I did it at my article, Easy Hands on Homeschooling Ideas When You’re Not the Bomb Mom and 7 Homeschool Lies I Want to Tell My Younger Self.

. . . I can’t find friends for my children?

Unless you plan to homeschool your kids under a rock, there will be so much interaction over the course of your journey.

Look how we did it at my article, Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination and I Am Homeschooling Because I Want My Kids Socialized.

. . . I decide that I want to put my child back in public school?

Before you do that, look at my tips at It’s a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School and Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School.

. . . my health or my children’s health prevent me from homeschooling?

Yes, that may happen. Look at how I dealt with in my article, Taking a Hit Doesn’t Mean to Quit– Homeschooling Through Crisis.

. . . while I’m pregnant I may not do my kids justice because I am too sick to teach them?

Hopefully, you put your health first if that time comes and realize that you’re teaching your kids way more than academics.

. . . I am not prepared for the upper grades?

All the preparing in the world won’t matter if you don’t have you teen’s heart. You can learn academics right alongside your teen. Focus on the relationship too.

And look at my articles in my blog category How to Homeschool Teens to Graduation.

COMBATING HOMESCHOOL PARALYSIS

We resist the urge to homeschool in the what if . . . world by applying these C tips.

Commitment.

Having practical teaching tips is important, however, that can be gleaned over any period of time.

Commitment is attached to an obligation. In some ways, I view my commitment to homeschooling like the marriage vow I made to my husband 23 years ago.

It is a guarantee that I will do everything in my power to make it work. Is a long term commitment for “just a year”?

View your homeschooling journey as a long term commitment.

Instead of bringing stress by applying pressure on your child to perform, start thinking of milestone markers. We plant certain milestone markers we want to reach for the long term.

Camaraderie.

Even though we can be consumed with the “nuts and bolts” of how to lesson plan, or how to teach writing, how to teach reading, or how to prepare a top notch high school transcript, it is the companionship of other homeschoolers that is the true glue that makes us stick to homeschooling.

In the camaraderie of our local homeschool support groups, summer homeschooling conventions, blogs and on line support groups, there is always somebody who understands our similar circumstances.

Conscientious.

Though many of us may live in states or countries where we do not need to test or keep attendance, our being attentive to our duties as parent and teacher keep us principled.

We do not adopt laxed attitudes about our house, our school, our worship, or our families. Again, we let go of the what if . . . world because our heart and conscience are stronger forces than any test score and they can motivate us to keep going.

My dramatic idealist person has not completely left, but my sons have done their work on many types of desks.

We eat meals close enough to 5:00 and there is always a load or two of laundry I could do.

The homeschooling what if . . . world is full of worry and guilt. Resist the urge along the way to re-enter it.

What counts in a journey is the ending!

The pitfalls of homeschooling are plenty if you let them sidetrack you from your vision. Instead of losing vision, hone your goals. High levels of confidence, conviction, and fortitude wane easily and can be completely sucked out of us if we enter the "what if . . ." world of homeschooling. Look at these potential 8 colossal pitfalls, if you let them. Click here.

Hugs and love ya,

When It’s Your Fault that Your Homeschooled Kids Don’t Do Chores

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When the kids were young, I made chore charts, taught them how to clean, and made them do it. I’ve never been the kind of parent that gives up easily and does the chores myself. How did it become my fault now? Click here to read what happened AND how I changed it!

Before I come down hard on my kids, I first recall things they’ve done right. I try to mete out the same standard to myself. So when the kids were young, I made chore charts, taught them how to clean, and made them do it. I’ve never been the kind of parent that gives up easily and does the chores myself. I’m pretty mean determined that way. If I had done that, I knew it would’ve come with a great cost when they were grown. They would not be able to take care of themselves, but who wants to roommate with a slob. So at the cost of having a house cleaned exactly to my standards, I’ve always known the importance of my sons learning to clean. With that being said, recently I had become relaxed in coming up with a new system to fit our changing circumstances. And it’s been my fault that my homeschooled kids don’t do chores.

Quit Making this Common Mistake

Recently, I had to step up and change things in my home because it was much easier to have the kids clean while they were little. Now that they are older they have a full academic and work load. I’m still learning and changing as we go through the seasons of homeschool.

And what is ironic is that my kids have never rebelled or have a bad attitude for chores. Like me, they too simply got caught up in a new schedule.

My older two sons take business courses, are working an apprenticeship and have an active social life as young adults. I’m still homeschooling my younger son and this makes for a very hectic and different household.

Recently, I was wondering why I felt like dropping dead after mopping the floor. Before that I had wiped the baseboards and scrubbed the shower. All of those are chores my sons have no problem doing. They put on their headsets for music and happily do their chores.

But knowing that all of my sons are well past chore charts, I had to have a family meeting. Yes, that is what we call it now.

From that meeting, I learned three things that I hope can help you if you find yourself in a situation where your circumstances seem to change overnight and you may not have adjusted.

ONE/ I will always have to accept a kid-friendly cleaned house.

When the kids were young, I dreamed of times like now when the boys are older and are vibrant with energy because I knew the house would be cleaned to my standards.

Nope, it’s still not like that.

Although it is much cleaner, my boys are inexperienced in a relative sense – my sense. In other words, now, I’m the only that can tell if it was cleaned to my standards.

It’s the same feeling you have if somebody else came in and cleaned your home. It will never be you and you’re grateful that you don’t have to do it all yourself; if you’re a perfectionist, like I tend to be, you learn humility.

I’m grateful for still being trained in my thinking when I accept their methods of cleaning. Too, I do get surprised by the short cuts my sons teach me.

TWO/ I’ve learned to give up control for when my house will get clean. Try that on for a control freak like me.

Another thing I’ve had to learn is to accept when my sons can do their part on their schedule. Like I said, when they were little, it was much easier to plan my cleaning schedule although I didn’t think that at the time.

Now, no matter what I tout when I want things done, that is not reality. It won’t happen IF I want my sons to pursue their academic life after graduating.

With school, apprenticeship, volunteering and working, their chores at my home, like most young adults, have to bend to their schedule, not mine.

I miss those days when I could decide which days we did our housework and assign their chores on sweet little chore charts.

THREE/ Chores have not last their value in character building even with young adults.

Mostly what I value, though, is that now that two of my sons are taller than me and it’s starting to look like I live with all grown men in my home, chores reinforce willpower.

Doing things each day or each week that require routine is what adult life is all about. Most of adult life is about routine and it reinforces responsibility. It is a daily test of strength of character.

When my oldest two sons were teens they tried to undermine the value of their chores like taking out the trash, stacking the dishwasher, or doing their laundry. What I mean is that when it was accompanied by a lot of back talking and complaining, I was resolute about it being done and with a great attitude.

Repeatedly, I explained to the boys that their contribution to our family is like making an investment in themselves and will serve them a lifetime. Also, I continually reminded them that as adults we are tired too, but when chores are done willfully and happily it contributes to less stress in the home.

I’m so glad I didn’t let them view their chores as menial.

The Zen of a Well-Kept House

Dealing with pressures as teens, even the everyday seemingly mundane things, has now built great strength of character in my sons. What more could I ask of my sons.

Yes, it was my fault that I didn’t have a family meeting earlier, but I learned that if life gets hectic there is always time to make another set of plans.

Homeschooling is ever changing. Besides the kids want to help and they too need reminders about pitching in at the home.

Also look these articles and tips. Inspiring Your Homeschooled Kids to Do Chores – Cleaning or Character Building, 11 Tried and True Ways to Tame the Home When You Homeschool and 100 Ways to Organize Kids.

Hugs and love ya,

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Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

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Teach Your Homeschooled Teen the Art of Studying (without nagging)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

How to Teach Your Homeschooled Teen the Art of Studying (without nagging) @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Teaching your homeschooled teen the art of studying is a bit like not having a parent’s manual that comes with your kids when they enter the world. Well – almost.

Resources exist overwhelmingly for teaching teens study skills in public schools, but teaching our kids at home can give us a slight edge.

However, it only becomes an advantage if we tap into teaching them how to study along the way. Teaching a teen study skills can be frustrating if you don’t begin when they are young.

How to Spoon-Feed a Homeschooled Teen

Learning should be active and not passive. Spoon-feeding and hovering over our teens won’t propel them to learn the art of studying.

Look at 3 things I learned when teaching a teen to study.

One/ Self-instruction is a must.

Many kids do not do well in public school because they feel trapped with confinements on what they should learn. Avoiding the popular notion that teens need a lot of supervision gives teens a chance to experience independence.

Raising independent and self-taught learners means bucking the current system period.

I learned as I have homeschooled longer to give up the control while supervising them. It begins with self-instruction in what your child is interested in.

Starting out, this doesn’t mean a child guides himself completely because not all children are inclined to even attempt learning the boring things.

Many days teaching my three teens has been more difficult and mentally taxing then when they were toddlers because you have to talk with them not at them as they learn self-governing independence.

And yes there should be sanctions when a teen is not self-studying and is wasting time. But there is a reason a teen is wasting time and it’s called unmotivated.

Two/ Motivation is a GREAT incentive.

Motivation for studying what interests a teen comes first, then self-instruction, not the other way around.

In other words, you can’t expect a teen to be self-taught and independent without him having a compelling reason to be. You can’t just heap subjects onto him, like when he was in elementary grades and then expect him to do them. That was your job then, but it’s not when he is a teen.

Micromanaging in the teen years breeds rebellion and you may end up having an adult child that won’t speak to you. Don’t let that happen.

And don’t make the mistake of swinging to the other end of the pendulum and give him total self-governing.

Teen Study Skills

Don’t stress over it, but look at these sanity-saving tips to gradually dole out independence, which then teaches your teen the art of studying.

  • Choose a topic in a subject. As soon as your child demonstrates a bit of independence, recognize it by allowing him to choose a topic in a subject that you require. Don’t ask him to cover science, but require it. But give him the choice, for example, of studying about rocks, magnets or a bird. For us this happened close to second grade for one child, close to sixth grade for another and closer to middle school for another son.
  • Then, choose subjects. After you have exposed your child to well-rounded out subjects, then give him the choices of which subjects to cover. This normally happens around middle and high school.
  • Give him checklists, organize drawers and student planners to gauge progress. Give him a checklist or some way of knowing what he is doing for the day and when he is finished. The art of how to study can be diminished when your expectations are not clear. Not only are you giving your child clear expectations, but you are doing something VERY important lasting him on into adulthood, which is teaching him how to create expectations, goals and standards for himself. How to study includes setting incremental goals and meeting them. He needs accountability to you first, then next to himself. Early on I set up drawers for each child and in the order I chose for him to cover the subject. That model morphed into choices they made later on as to which subjects they wanted to cover first. I also created student planners and my oldest son enjoyed that the most. My youngest son enjoys taking notes on his iPad. And another son likes picture doodling and part words as he note takes. Each child is different.

organized-drawers-promotes-self-teaching-and-independence-tinas-dynamic-homeschool-plus

  • Listen. More importantly, teens want to be heard. Listen and back him up by letting him try his idea. The best place and time to fail from an idea he had is while he is living with you so he can learn.
  • Take him with you to choose curriculum. My boys made a trip with me to the convention fair each year. If they didn’t have a preference in curriculum, they got a chance to look it over anyway.
  • Teach him his learning style and then help him learn that way. Don’t push your way of learning. I know, I’m probably one of the caring pushiest moms ever, but not all of my boys learn the way I do. Use color coding markers, use a written planner, use an online planner, use an iPad, music in the background works for one son (not me), quiet space for another son, flashcards, index cards and writing in a book (yes allowed). Be willing to move from your comfort zone to the learning zone your child works best in.

Teach Consequences But Evaluate Consequence Too

Three/ Consequences is a must.

Learning how to learn means that your child needs consequences, both bad and good for his habits. Shielding our child or always telling them everything not matter how well-intended can turn to nagging.

When I was a teen, I did learn by example. Not all teens learn that way and some have to experience pain.

Teaching my boys that learning by example is more preferable than learning always by experience was important to me, but my boys have to be willing to accept that mindset.

Teaching teens is not always a two-way street, so be prepared for times when they have to suffer bad consequences.

A bad grade worked for one son, but it didn’t for another one.

Telling my son to think about what others will think about him and the example he set worked for another son. He didn’t want to hear my opinion, but teaching him to evaluate what he was going to do or not do when applying himself to how he studied made him think how he would appear to others.

I’ve found that clear consequences, even writing them down has been a useful guide in prodding my teens in the right direction.

After all, college, life and career are full of on the job rules, regulations and earning respect. Don’t forget to teach them at home.

This is the tip of the iceberg of things I’ve learned as two of my sons have now entered the adulthood.

And when your adult sons tell you often how much they deeply value what you taught them about how to study, you won’t be able to hold back tears.

When you take time to teach your teens how to study, you teach them for a lifetime.

Grab my Free Student Planner, 3 Unique Things a Homeschooled Teen Learns From a Teacher’s Manual and I found this book, The Art of Self-Directed Learning: 23 Tips For Giving Yourself an Unconventional Education very inspirational.

Hugs and love ya,

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Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

3 Unique Things a Homeschooled Teen Learns From a Teacher’s Manual

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3 Unique Things a Homeschooled Teen Learns From a Teacher's Manual @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

When your kids are middle school or high school level, beginning to homeschool can be tough. For many years they have been away from you and have been conditioned to learn one way.

And though homeschool moms who’ve homeschooled their teens from the beginning may find it easier to hand over the teacher’s manual to their teens because they know what standard they have set day to day, they can still find it challenging to teach study skills.

Regardless of whether you’ve homeschooled from the beginning or jumped into homeschooling with teens, there are 3 things a homeschooled teen learns by you handing over the teacher’s manual.

One/ A teen learns that you won’t control them. This may not seem important to you, but to a maturing teen it’s everything.

This is not as paramount as they grow older, but in the early teen years with my boys, it was important for them to see me as a confident, not controlling teacher.

Hear my whisper and feel my gentle nudge, failure is a good teacher for your teens. More on that in a minute.

As my sons grew older and became more confident, we didn’t clash about control. However, when they were entering the teen years, I tried to not it let it get to that point. I simply handed over the teacher’s manual so they could dig in it on their own.

Giving them the teacher’s manual is not about a power struggle, but empowering them to learn.

Two/ Forget independent learning skills, they need to learn how to study first.

I’m not against independent learning skills, but at this time in their life is when a teen learns how to study. In the rush to prepare our teens for adulthood, we expect independent learning skills without teaching them how to to do it.

You can’t expect your teens to be independent until they have practiced how to study or have a few trial runs.

Now, I know you may be thinking that your teens will look straight at the answers and write them down without studying. They may.

Lessons I Learned From My Homeschooled Teen

My teens tried it a few times with some problems they couldn’t solve in math and language arts.

Let them think they are getting away with something if that is how they feel. However, here is the secret!

They have to be able to tell you back what they learned.

If a teen can’t tell you back what he has learned without looking at the book or the material he has studied, he hasn’t mastered his material.

So if my boys chose to look at the answers first and work back from that how to solve it, I didn’t care.

At first, I was apprehensive letting them have that freedom, but too I have never spoon-fed my boys or thought the only way to learn was a question answer format. I’ve always allowed them to learn, even in reverse if necessary.

I learned that if they were to be independent learners, I had to quit being the teacher and be the coach to guide them.

Three/ Problem solving skills are learned in middle school or high school where they should be and not in college or on the job.

Whether your teen chooses a college or career track, the ability to solve problems when an answer isn’t correct is critical to flourishing in the real world.

It can be easy to identify a problem, but solving it is another skill set.

Learning how to attack a problem with a plan or order for determining importance, finding the right and wrong assumptions and then determining a solution is something that even adults struggle with.

Here and now when your child is a teen is when they learn such a valuable skill that will boost their college or career track.

I mentioned before failure is a good teacher. Your mom voice doesn’t have to be brittle or harsh when your teens don’t want to listen to you. I’m not talking about tolerating a disrespectful attitude but allowing your teen to disagree with the way you teach.

You have nothing to prove.

Give your teen the manual and if he can’t explain back what he learns without constantly opening the book, then the material needs to be reviewed. Learning is that simple.

Don’t try to be confrontational. If they don’t get the point that they have to redo the material if they don’t understand it, then encouraging them to do it again with the teacher’s manual teaches them to not give up.

After a few times of doing it that way, my boys would work many times without cracking open the teacher’s manual. After they completed their work, they self-graded and reviewed from the teacher’s manual.

How to Stay Motivated While Homeschooling Teens

They can surprise you too when you gently guide them. My boys, without my prompting, would rework their problems or redo their work to be sure they understood it.

They need to understand that this is their education and they have the right to learn in a way that benefits them the most.

Fast forward many years now, I recently asked Mr. Senior 2013 if that was the right thing to let him have the teacher’s manual. He absolutely agreed and added that if he didn’t get the problem correct after checking the teacher’s manual, it made him rethink how he solved his problem. I loved what he said because that it was what every homeschool parent wants – to equip their child for the real world.

Do you have a teen that you’re butting heads with? Try this and let me know if he or she flourishes.

Also, look at these other helpful articles. Homeschool High School–How to Log Hours for High School, Homeschool High School Readiness and Homeschool High School The Must Cover Subjects Part 2.

Hugs and love ya,

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Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 3

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10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 3. Promoting Independent Learners is a natural fit in a homeschooling environment @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Rockin’ on in this series, I’m sharing 10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be) Day 3 – Promoting Independent Learners.

Many parents would agree with me when I say that we normally teach children that independence is earned and not  something kids are instantly entitled to.

However, promoting independent learners and wanting to be independent of parental authority are not the same.

The difference between a homeschooling family and one that doesn’t is that homeschoolers teach their children to be independent learners, not passive recipients.

I’m not saying that public school children don’t learn this, but I am saying that the whole homeschool environment feeds independent learning.

Is Being an Independent Learner Overrated?

Why does it even matter? It’s important to teach our children that learning is their responsibility. Each child is unique and deserves more than a cookie cutter education.

When a child is an active partner in his education and not a passive standbyer, his whole attitude changes because he realizes he has a huge say and sway in what and how he learns.

Too, here is another fine difference between a homeschooling and non-homeschooling family. A non-homeschooling family can nurture an independent learner, but a homeschooling family not only nurtures, but promotes it.

When a child is not in a class of 30 kids, he learns that he needs to be the one asking questions about what he is learning. His creative thoughts are mustered up from the curriculum or material that he is learning and not from a kid that is his own age.

He realizes that he needs to learn to effectively manage his time. When a child learns for intrinsic value and not because of a grade or for a test or to perform for peers, he is motivated.

The learning environment at home should not mimic the environment at school. They are two completely different environments.

Taking this one step further, think about the environment in college or in a workplace. Both of these environments call for a self-motivated individual and our children are adults in training.

It doesn’t mean that we have to step back and let kids teach themselves because it’s our job to guide them.

However, guiding and force feeding them following a set of standards based for the majority of people are two completely different concepts.

Homeschooling is about appreciating the unique differences of each child and being willing to part with what we have whether it’s curriculum or our view to advance the way each child learns.

Being comfortable in what we are teaching our kids is not always a good thing.

We don’t want to do what is comfortable for us or familiar to us if it’s not working for our child.

Promoting independence starts with home, which is our environment and then it creeps forward to allowing our children to learn in the way that best fits them. Whether that manner is normal to the majority of people is not something we seek acceptance for.

Teaching kids to ask questions, think about what they’re learning, manage their time and to move ahead in their studies gives them a skill set that even adults struggle to have.

How do you teach your kids to be independent learners?

Also, look at my other tips in 10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 1 Patience Is not Instantly Bestowed and 10 Days Why A Homeschool Mom Is Not Better Than a Public School Mom (but could be). Day 2 Confidence.

Hugs and love ya,

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Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

 

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