homeschoolchallenges

The Problem Choosing Between Homeschool Mom and Homeschool Teacher

April 17, 2016 | 8 Comments
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Do we really need to choose between homeschool mom or homeschool teacher? Do our kids benefit when we separate the two roles?

My first few years of homeschooling, I hardly recognized myself.

Sounding more like a drill sergeant when we started our day than a caring loving educator, whose first concern should be the emotional well-being of my children, something had to change.

I didn’t like myself and my kids for sure didn’t like me. Like any new or seasoned homeschool educator, I too was concerned that my kids wouldn’t learn how to develop study skills, self-motivation and an intrinsic love of learning. It’s flat out hard to find a balance. More on that in a minute.

Fast forward to now after graduating two of my sons, I learned that I didn’t need to separate the two roles.

Instead of using energy draining formal teacher tactics, my focus should have been on valuing the many future opportunities that I was going to have of bringing meaning to learning and naturally teaching my boys.

Unlocking the Natural Teacher Within You

Learning to unlock the natural teacher within you is more about appreciating that you shouldn’t choose between homeschool mom and homeschool teacher, but it’s a fuse of the two.

First, it’s important to remember when you homeschool that mom is your first calling.

When you have a child, you know the role of mom is important because the emotional stability, health, safety, personality, spiritual and educational well-being of your child is a serious responsibility.

What I am saying is that I learned educating my child was just another facet of motherhood and not something separate from it.

Furthermore, like me, you are probably the first person, who taught your baby his first word and he started to learn his mother tongue. All the pieces started to fall into place as I pondered what I had done right up to the age before “formal” schooling.

Realizing that I had to leave behind the public school mentality, I didn’t have to learn how to be a teacher. To successfully homeschool, I needed to learn how to be the best mother I could be.

That huge revelation brought homeschooling into something that not only could I achieve successfully, but to treasure, love passionately and stick to because it is as natural as mothering.

When the switch flipped to a new thinking, my focus was on teaching my sons all those things I worried about like any other homeschool mom.

Letting Every Day Life Teach Meaningful Lessons

Energy could now be focused on identifying my son’s weakness.

For example, when I was teaching my sons to write, a homeschool room was a must-have for us. I didn’t have to be concerned with a seasoned homeschool mom tell me when I started homeschooling that I would never use a homeschool room. We did and it proved exactly perfect for my family. Look at my article, Dedicated Homeschool Room or Dining Room Homeschooler.

I trusted my mother instinct, not my teacher instinct. Too, workbooks and books are only part of learning and rigorous standards are important to me and I know too for other homeschoolers.

But we have a huge advantage when we learn outside of four walls and that is we allow every day life to teach our children meaningful lessons. They do happen.

Taking homeschool co-op classes outside of the home and taking instruction from another teacher gave my boys a sense of working with others. Again, as a mother I am concerned with my sons’ lasting happiness. That means I want them to learn to accept others and learn how to communicate with them.

Did I mention they learned to take notes and manage deadlines, which are valuable study skills that I wanted my boys to learn?

Do We Really Need to Prove our Homeschool Worthiness?

All of this and more happened because naturally as we lived life, I seized moments to teach them.

Yes, I think as homeschool moms we tend to try to over achieve and feel we may have to turn every moment into something learning because we may feel the weight of our lifestyle choice hanging around us.

Shedding that let-me-prove-it-to-you mindset allows you to homeschool more freely without feeling you have to prove something to friends and to the world. Can you relate? Look at my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work.

Learning that things happen in life, which give me perfect teaching moments has made homeschooling natural without worrying which hat I am wearing.

Too, not choosing between two hats, but as the person that knows my sons the best, I know when it’s time to be mom and when it’s time to be teacher. Being a home educator is just another role as mom.

Hugs and love ya,

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

3 Things a Homeschool Mom Wants From Her Husband (Besides Support)

March 26, 2016 | 19 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Though I was a teenager, I clearly remember my mom visiting a homeschool mom to ask questions about homeschooling. This was back in the 80’s when homeschooled kids had to duck down in the backseat of the car if they were out during public school hours. Curriculum was not easy to find, organized field trips with a group were almost impossible and finding support for a homeschool mom was flat out hard.

However, out of all the things that seasoned homeschool mom could talk about, she ended up spending more time talking about the ways her husband helped her.

The Challenge Homeschool Dads Face

The longer I homeschool, the more I treasure those priceless tidbits shared by that seasoned homeschooling mom because they have been the same things that have kept me going though homeschool times have changed significantly.

Look at 3 things a homeschool mom wants from her husband (besides support).

1.Take the kids and leave.

Yes, taking the kids and leaving the house sounded harsh when that seasoned homeschool mom told my mother, but it’s so very true.

My husband, like a lot of other husbands who wholeheartedly support homeschooling felt like I wanted to leave the house to be by myself. Sometimes I did. A hair appointment without kids was the ultimate treat.

However, I soon realized that I was never at my home alone, with my thoughts, and at the place where I ultimately rested best.

This was especially true when the kids were all very little. When my husband took the kids and left the house, I felt an immediate stress release.

Some days I would catch up on things I wanted to around the house, but many times I just relaxed. Not that superficial relaxing where you know the kids will be back, but I fixated on making myself calm down completely so that I could rest and recuperate.

Of course, it matters how long they are gone, but even a few hours were enough to rejuvenate me.

2. Not just play with the kids, but find ways to roughhouse.

No, I don’t mean the kind of playing that most dads do naturally, but I mean the kind of playing and entertaining where kids can really let off some steam.

I thought it was just important when they kids were little, but I have learned that it is equally important when they are teens.

Let’s just face it, though we love our kids to pieces, we all get sick of looking at each other every day. Besides the normal getting outside to play, kids need time to roughhouse.

From what I have seen, it’s not just boys that like roughhousing. Girls can be just as active and need more than just playing outside or with dad too.

When Mr. Senior 2013 hit that real active stage, my husband cleared out the garage and set up a weight lifting bench and other exercise equipment in the garage. What a life saver for me from those raging hormones. That hadn’t even crossed my mind to set up an area like that because I was so hyper focused on homeschooling.

My niece wanted to jog every day and so she needed a way to get to the track since it was safer there. Dad to the rescue. That is one less thing for a homeschool mom to do at the end of the day when she is already tired.

3. Accept simple meals.

My father admits it. He never liked leftovers and my mom always tried to accommodate his wishes since my dad worked so very hard to provide us. That same mindset followed me to marriage and trickled over into my homeschooling.

However, there is one huge difference between my mom and myself and that is my mother only homeschooled one out of four kids. Too, my younger sister was in elementary school when my mom started and my mom had three other teen children at home who were quite capable of cooking and cleaning. She had a lot of help.

It is quite different when you homeschool more than one child and you start homeschooling all of your littles from the very beginning.

Completely stressed about meal planning, homeschooling and all the 1001 things I needed to do each day, I discussed it with my husband.

I was shocked because one thing I had not learned in all our years of being married is that he is all in for simple meals. Unlike my father, he was pretty easy going. With my dad, I too learned why he felt that way about food and things were just very different back in his day.

Of course, because my husband was easy going didn’t mean I was going to go overboard by not making delicious meals. He too works hard for us. It did, however, mean that some nights I needed a break and he believed that too.

Soon, I realized that simple meals could be just as delicious.

Things like having a quick breakfast for supper, hot sandwiches and soups and making one night a themed night like Italian food night gave me permission to stress less about simple meal planning.

There are a few other things I learned along the way about the help a homeschool mom needs, but these ways stood out to me today.

Clearly, I needed my husband involved in homeschooling besides just his general support.

Ideally, it would be great if dads could do projects or even school, but not all dads have that kind of time.

Instead of pining over what a dad can’t do because a lot of dads work full time, savor the times that your husband helps steer you through the challenges of homescooling.

Homeschool support from my husband goes beyond just approval, but it is shown in action.

Things that might seem little and natural to a homeschool father to do are meaningful and large ways to support to his wife.

What ways does your husband support you that you want to tell to the world?

Let other family members support you too.

Look at How Grandparents Can Inspire Your Homeschool Journey.

Hugs and love ya,

Grab some more go juice.

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps (Want to Join Me?)

Top 5 Tips for Homeschooling Parents

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

4 Reasons Your Homeschooled Child is Uninspired To Learn (and what to do)

March 18, 2016 | 10 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When you hear about the success (or so it seems anyway) of other homeschool families and their kids while your kid whines and won’t do anything other than what is absolutely necessary to get by for the day, it is the ultimate discouragement and makes you feel like a complete failure.

Today in sharing 4 reasons your homeschooled child is uninspired to learn, I am giving you some tried-and-trued tips that have worked for others that I supported when they got to a brick wall. Some kids too are just not excited about anything and that can be tough.

I hope this insight moves you to not give up on homeschool. You deserve to have a peaceful home without the fights, back talking and every day arguing.

Complacency can be a killer.

Children are no different than we are when it comes to being affected by their environment.

If they feel that their home learning environment is the same as public school, which they may be contented with, they may see no difference in how they are learning. Have you taken time to explore methods that work for your children or are you modeling public school?

Resentment sets in because a child may feel that public school was fine for him and he has very little motivation to change his day.

Homeschooling works when you embrace a life style change. Your child needs to know that homeschool and school at home are two very different concepts. See my article, The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home to be sure you are aware of the two very different educational models.

Forget strong-willed, the kid is a rebel.

There are many reasons that a child rebels and not all of them are necessarily signs that a child will go wayward. Children are affected by change or stress in their life. Childhood is all about constant change, so it’s not so easy to detect rebellion versus a silent cry for help.

However, if a child is outright rejecting your authority all the time and not just during school time, the problem more than likely is a discipline problem.

Let me say this again because it’s a subtle, but powerful detail to remember when you are having conflict. Here it is:Pay attention to what is going and to when you see rebellion. If it’s just during school time, it could be a struggle with their workload.

Are You Breeding Rebellion? (gulp)

Your child may be rebelling because he is drowning under the weight of a curriculum or approach that is not working for him. He doesn’t need discipline then, he needs relief, compassion and a champion to help him sort out what is not working for him.

However, if acting up or rebellion is most of the day and not just at school time and he is constantly arguing with you about everything, fighting with siblings and intentionally disrupting the entire day, then it could be rebelliousness. You will then need clear sanctions for his behavior.

If that is the case, it is better to put school aside or slow it down until you restore your relationship.

While you address the rebellion, which is stressful enough, keep school very light. It teaches your child too that while school is important, he is what matters most.

Grab some more tips in my article, 3 Wrongs Ways to Homeschool a Hot Headed Child.

Your “Ambitious” Planning Can Bite You Back.

Hiding my over planning insanity under the cover of “organized” for the year, I had to change. I too made the mistake of being over ambitious.

And no matter how many times we hear it, we forget it. Homeschooling is about finding what works for your child and not trying to make him somebody he is not.

Look at my points in my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does it Really Work because ambitious homeschooling has a way of biting back.

In our enthusiasm we may be hurting our child because we could be setting curriculum goals, which may be impossible for a child to reach.

Helping many parents with planning, I know they want the best for their child. However, instead of teaching a child to love learning for intrinsic value, which is one of the greatest motivators to intelligence and by setting impossible goals, they set their child on the path to disappointment, burnout and exhaustion. It’s hard to come back from that.

Spending time reading aloud together (yes even with a teen in high school) can restore relationships. Check out my tips at Homeschooled Kids Who Read – Pastime Pleasure or Professional Prerequisite.

A child is either behind or advanced in grade level.

A child can advance by two grade levels or be totally bored with the curriculum. Learning is an ebb and flow and if we get too comfortable as parents with the same curriculum, we could be adding to a child’s lack of motivation for learning.

Homeschooling is about changes and if we are not challenging our children when they need it or delay the next concept or grade level to allow them to reach the next level when they’re ready, then we are fostering exasperation.

Grab some tips on finding a balance here at Helping our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We are Not Sure We Have It.

Setbacks are part of homeschooling and because homeschooling is parenting, it takes a thick skin to not view your child’s challenges as a personal assault.

Step back from school, do the core subjects until you find the problem. Identifying the problem is more than half the battle because then it gives you a starting point for a solution.

Has your child lost his love for learning? You are NOT alone.

Hugs and love ya,

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

Starting Homeschool in High School – Is It Too Late?

March 17, 2016 | 5 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

It’s not my style to sugar-coat projects. Starting homeschool in high school is hard work, but it is never too late to bring your teen home.

Giving you practical and doable starting points, I hope you’re empowered to see that your child is worth every challenge you have ahead.

Look at these questions that need to be addressed right away so that you know how to move forward.

1. Do You Really Need the Cooperation of Your Teen?

Talk about a touchy subject, but it really has to be addressed first.

What we need to appreciate as parents is that we are influenced by our upbringing like whether or not we had overbearing parents, whether or not we had a choice to go to college and whether or not we were negatively influenced as teens.

Teens are not adults though at times they can make adult like decisions. I have helped new homeschoolers who had teens in school that did get negatively influenced by other teens.

Too, some teens are just plain tired of the grind of public school schedule and know that their time is better used at home where they can dive into what interests them.

Then other teens and parents feel that what is offered at home couldn’t possibly compare to what is offered in public school and are apprehensive about homeschooling, but need a break. I have much to say on this too, but need to save this for another thread so I can keep this manageable for you today.

The point here is: Who is Going to Be in Charge?

The most successful families have been those who guided their teens, but tried to work together with them too.

Never thinking that the teen is elevated to the “third” parent in a situation, but showing yourself as a parent who is interested in the way they learn best allays some of the stress.

Simply put, a teen’s future cannot be completely left up to him and his inexperience. Many times it calls for being the parent and sometimes not so much the friend. However, it never is wise to berate teens or not listen to their needs.

Do Homeschool Benefits Outweigh the Challenges?

Everyone, including teens, wants to be heard. Sensible parents listen to their teens input because it is valuable and you want to be the kind of person your teen respects and listens to, but realize the final decision is made by the parent.

Moving forward, it’s not necessary that you and your teen agree, but it is necessary that he realizes that you will listen to him, but you have the final say.

Besides, there is a reason you brought your teen home, whether it was physical, moral, spiritual or academic.

2. Is it Necessary to Lesson Plan Right Away?

As you can see before you even think academics, your relationship needs to be addressed. However, right behind that, the next weighty thing on your mind is academics.

No fear, you can do this. First, start by getting a copy of your teen’s transcript before you leave public school. It’s less hassle that way, but you can get it afterwards too.

Most public schools want to transfer the transcript to the next school, but just let them know you’re homeschooling and need a copy too as the parent.

After you get the transcript, you will know how many credits your teen has and that is your starting point.

Look here at my helpful article, Homeschool High School–How to Log Hours for High School because in most states, you are the one that determines how many credits your teen needs to complete graduation.

Base the total number of credits needed for graduation on the direction you and your teen chooses.

For example, if your teen is college bound, be sure your teen has enough credits, which are closer to 24 to 26.

If you are looking for your teen to graduate with a high school diploma and looking to start a career, then 19 to 22 may be just fine.

I often say, work backwards to plan. This means start with your end goal in mind, whether college or career and work backwards by deciding the number of credits.

3. Are All Subjects Equal?

Next, before you choose curriculum or an online school, you need to be clear in your mind as to what subjects your teen needs.

You don’t want to pay for something you don’t need and also, you don’t want to neglect something you should be covering.

For example, if your teen is college bound, he may need one or two more English credits that the college requires. Maybe he needs to take a foreign language. Fill in the rest of the transcript by make a list of what subjects to cover.

If your teen is looking for a career in computers, he may need more computer courses.

Look carefully at the subjects because if your teen is working toward a career, does he really need one more credit in a subject that will be a waste of his time?

I have a few more helps for you, review my articles Homeschool High School The Must Cover Subjects Part 1, and Homeschool High School The Must Cover Subjects Part 2.

I promise, scrutinizing those 3 questions will kick off your teen’s high school years on the right foot.

With the articles I have here and too by you posting your questions here, I will help you every bit of the way.

Take it slow by taking tiny steps, but know you will be making monumental and meaningful changes that are worth every effort.

Hugs and love ya,

I gotcha covered. Arm yourself with more information.

How Does my High School Homeschooled Kid Get a Diploma If I Do This Myself and
Grab my free High School Planning Form Here.

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

When Your Homeschooled Child is Interrogated (And How to Get Past It)

February 23, 2016 | 14 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Normally, we love to tell curious folks that we homeschool. Too, it’s okay for others to be concerned because we don’t want to be touchy and overly sensitive about our choice. However, it’s quite another thing when your homeschooled child is interrogated. After all, if somebody was curious and looking for information they wouldn’t be interrogating your child, right?

Today, in sharing when your homeschooled child is interrogated (and how to get past it) I hope to infuse you with a few points to help you stay one step ahead of a situation like that.

What are you looking for?

Too, having your child questioned by a family member, like a mother or mother in law, than by a total stranger is hard. Saying things like what does that sign say or what did you learn today to our children may give them the impression that your parenting and homeschooling should be judged.

In learning how to diffuse the situation, you have to decide what are you looking for. In other words, whether others affirm or condemn your choice, will it affect your decision to homeschool? Are you really seeking their approval?

In a close family, it’s normal to want the approval of family members, but reminding yourself that you will never ever please everybody is sobering.

It comes back to what are you looking for. Are you looking to give your child the best education you can possible give him or please family members? Ideally, we want both, but sometimes we can’t have that.

Having a determined mindset from the beginning helps you cope better with the situation because the go jump in the lake approach is probably not a good reply.

Next, I have learned through helping other homeschoolers that things only get worse if they are allowed to go on for a time.

For example, most parents feel pretty comfortable talking to their own adult child and know what they can say or not say, but to talk to the daughter in law or son in law can be different. Sometimes a mother in law feels at more liberty to speak her mind when it may not be solicited.

And don’t get me wrong, I am all ears for any pearls of wisdom that come from parents that have already successfully raised children, they should be honored.

However, in a family where the adult children are now raising their own children, it their sole responsibility to raise and homeschool them.

Suppressing the the situation is best done by the dad taking the lead if he is talking to his own mother.

Start off the conversation by saying questions to you about how the kids are homeschooled are always welcomed. However there is a difference in wanting to know how the children are progressing and passive aggressive type of comments to your children, which is setting an example for your children to undermine your authority.

Speaking parent to parent helps your mother or mother in law to take the problems to a parenting issue, which is what homeschooling really is all about. If she can see that she could be possibly undermining your authority in front of the kids, you could soften the situation.

Sometimes that does not work and there are times where the law has to be laid down. I have found that instead of saying we will not have anything to do with you, it is better to not take things to that level – yet.

Is Passive Aggressive Questioning Okay?

Instead, say that until the questioning stops or passive aggressive comments stop, your family will not have a relationship with her. It is sad if a situation has to come to that end and hopefully, it will not.

Try to remember that most grandparents no doubt have a deep love for your kids and their doubts and disapproval come from there.

If it is a total stranger questioning your child, it is easier to just say that your decision is not up for debate or discussion and then change the subject.

Every situation is different when somebody starts questioning your child. On the one hand, a person may just be curious. On the other hand, if an adult has or had kids, they should know that the child should not be questioned about your parenting decision and that is not something to take lightly.

I try to be transparent about our homeschooling, always ready to give an answer for those interested in homeschooling because I want to inform and not automatically assert bad motives.

And finally, try to remember that if you are having a bad homeschool day share with somebody else who homeschools. Though it may be comfortable complaining to family members, if those family members are not supportive of homeschooling, then you may be bringing more stress on yourself.

Even though family and friends may not understand that questioning your homeschooling goes directly to questioning your authority as a parent, try to cut them some slack and keep the focus on where it should be which is what is best for your child.

Has anybody ever interrogated your child? How did you do with it?

Also, look at these other tips and helps:

Hugs and love ya,

Also look at 3 Homeschooling Myths Debunked, and Should A Child Have a Choice to Return To Public School?

Check out these books too if you need to recharge your homeschooling conviction!

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe
When Homeschooling Gets Tough: Practical Advice to Stay on Course
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life: Balancing Home, School, and Family in the Real World

homeschoolchallenges

The Problem Choosing Between Homeschool Mom and Homeschool Teacher

Unlocking the Natural Teacher Within You

Letting Every Day Life Teach Meaningful Lessons

Do We Really Need to Prove our Homeschool Worthiness?

3 Things a Homeschool Mom Wants From Her Husband (Besides Support)