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When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 3

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3 Rs of Homeschooling Part 3 Research

Half-hearted homeschooling, I can’t even type the words without already feeling a bit of energy draining from my fingertips.  Keeping the same resolve to homeschool throughout your journey is crucial to being able to weather any storms that will come your way.

Homeschool Delusions

How you rise to meet those challenges is more significant than you may realize.  Though I don’t usually like to make blanket statements about homeschoolers, in my experience I have found that by nature we come with a bit more resolve as we start to homeschool.  Maybe we are more armed in the beginning because we have had to overcome any naysayers.

But somewhere along the way, doubt sets in and then we question our resolve to homeschool.

Reasons and research, which are the first two R’s combined with our fortitude or resolve to homeschool stands as an almost impenetrable barrier to giving up our homeschool journey.

To think that we can control our lives, our schedules, our children or even our own negative thoughts is a mistake.  It happens to all of us.  Learning along the way that I can control sometimes very little about my journey helps me to put a plan in place.

Combat the Control Hoax

You can’t control what flies overhead in your journey, but you can only control what you allow to land permanently or how it affects you.  Think about that though for a minute because that is powerful.

Thinking that is counter balance always helps me to not stroll down pity party road too.  For example, I don’t think life just happens and then just roll with anything that comes up in my life.  We do decide what people and what circumstances we allow to take up permanent residence in our lives.  That is a force to be reckoned with and it allows us to not just go with the flow when we need to avoid the flow.

Our resolve helps us to resist a willy-nilly approach to homeschooling and allowing things that we have no control over to fester and take up our time.

Resolve means to make up one’s mind and it has the connotation as if we took a formal vote.  One can’t have an opinion on something unless they researched it and have strong reasons to make that decision.

Reinforce Your Homeschool Resolve

Look at these things that will feed your resolve to stick with homeschooling.

  • Avoid isolation.  I don’t care if you are homeschooling in a boat floating in the South Pacific, (sounds good actually) live in a frozen tundra for most of the year or live only among where you see more cows than people, you need encouragement, support and inspiration.  Attending a co-op may not be an option, but reading blogs, reading books and attending on-line homeschool conventions may be.
  • Schedule it.  As moms we tend to put our needs in everything secondary to our children’s need.  There is nothing wrong with this as long as we don’t neglect our needs.  There is a difference.  Finding time to refresh your resolve is not easy so it has to be scheduled in.  My time is early in the morning.  Whether you choose to read blogs, read books, pray, step away from the computer, sit down at the computer, exercise or all of this, you need time to dwell on the reasons you homeschool.
  • Change it up.  Homeschooling has many seasons and sometimes you don’t have to change it up because changes, like moving, a pregnancy or unexpected illness comes to you.  I am not talking about those kinds of changes, but changes like varying our routine, our methods and the people we choose to let in our immediate homeschool circle, adds spice to our everyday.

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 3

I hope even one tidbit of any of these three posts helps to re-energize you with a dogged determination to keep homeschooling.  Whether you are weak at times in reasons, research or resolve, the other two R’s will help to jump start you back to your resolution.  Take time to form these 3 pillars in your homeschool and you won’t be so easily swayed as you enter and end different seasons in your homeschooling.

Hugs and love ya,

2012Tinasignature

Did you miss my other two posts in this series?

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers Part 1

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 2

Grab some helpful books about homeschooling!

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 2

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When you begin to homeschool, you want to drink in every nugget of homeschool information and rightly so.

But did you know that another common mistake of new homeschoolers is to put their needs as a new home educator secondary to their children’s needs?

Separate Teacher Mom from Mommy

In between stalking perusing veteran’s websites to see which curriculum they use with their children, homeschool forums and reading reviews about curriculum very little brain power is left over for teacher mom.

From the beginning it is important to understand a paramount difference between your needs as mother that most of us do make secondary to our children and your needs as a new educator which most of us also put secondary to our child’s needs.

Understanding that we have to separate the two hats that we wear will motivate us to adopt the second ‘R in our essentials of homeschooling, which is research.

Often times I hear mothers explain how guilty they feel to leave their kids with grandma to attend a homeschool meeting, or attend a homeschool convention, or put them in front a good movie while they grab some information about homeschooling from a live Google hangout.  But what could more beneficial to our children in the long run than to have not only a mother that is taking care of herself physically, but is also at the top of her class in understanding about how to teach?

3 Rs of Homeschooling Part 2 Research

Not having a public school teacher background though I have helped hundreds of them through my New Bee program, I can tell you my jaw still drops at the amount of time public school teachers are required to put into their work whether by attending an official workshop or through an apprenticeship.  You wouldn’t even think twice to look over a teacher’s resume and credentials with a scrutinizing eye if you were hiring her to educate your child?  Are you doing the same for yourself?

Homeschool Research Warrior

Being concerned with our children’s needs goes to the very heart of our reasons to homeschool.  But if don’t allow enough time to research topics that will come up in our journey, then a lack of conviction or really knowledge could snuff out any spark we have for teaching.  Worse yet instead of helping our children to become life long learners, we could possibly impede their love for learning because we did not take time to be educated about homeschooling.

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers Part 2

I am not telling you this because I want you to start off your journey more nervous than you are now, but I want you to place a high price on obtaining answers to your questions that will make you be the BEST homeschool teacher for your children.

What topics should we be researching anyway?

  • Research about the different types of curriculum approach.  Why research about one type of curriculum approach if you know it does not work for your child? You do not have to be an expert in EVERY approach to curriculum, just the ones that work best for your family.  Avoid the rest.  Skim them at first, then hone in on one that you think will work for your family.
  • If homeschoolers spent as much time learning about learning styles as they did curriculum, it would be the first go to topic instead of curriculum.  Why research about curriculum that fits a textbook approach if your child learns best through hands-on?  Sometimes you have to start first with learning differences.
  • Choosing a schedule is another struggle of not just new, but seasoned homeschoolers.  Seasoned homeschoolers sometimes never took the time to research homeschool schedules.  Assuming you have to school 5 days in a week is well – just assumed.

Those topics top my top 3 list if I had to make one.  There are several other  topics, but research in these three areas of homeschool curriculum, learning style differences and the variety of homeschool schedules will help you to avoid many common mistakes.

Your reasons for homeschool will then be well founded on exhaustive research.  Can it be said that your homeschool foundation is solid and firm?  Take time now to build it up.

Hugs and you know I love ya,

2012Tinasignature When You Dont Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 Rs for New Homeschoolers Part 1

Check out these other posts to help you build the 3 R’s of Homeschooling:

Discovering Learning Styles

Homeschool Learning Styles – What’s the Difference Anyway?

Grocery Shopping, Cooking & Laundry Oh My!

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers Part 1

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When you begin to homeschool, you wouldn’t think of leaving out one of the 3 R’s which are essential to teaching your child.  Everything else is built on the foundation that you lay in those subjects.  The 3 R’s of beginning to homeschool are equally important and essential to you maintaining the course when times are tough.

Whether you begin to homeschool in the toddler years, middle school or high school, each season holds it own tests of your new conviction.

Today, I want to share one of the essential R’s to building a strong foundation when you begin to homeschool.

What are the reasons you want to homeschool?

Right now is the time to write down all the reasons when they are so vivid and new in your mind and heart.  It may sound way out there, but draw them, paint them, or add them to your newest techie device that you love because when your love for homeschooling wanes and it will happen, you will want to be reminded of why you made the best choice for your family.

Don’t be discouraged from your conviction so early on by avoiding the mind-set that is easy to get caught up in which is “I’ll give it a try for a year”.

3 Rs of Homeschooling Part 1-1Sometimes we have no control over how long we can homeschool and I too homeschooled each year with the question looming over my head if I had to return to work.  I never had to and I am ever so thankful, but I didn’t stop there.  Each year I worked hard to stay within our means and budgeted when I needed to because homeschooling was a lifestyle choice for us and I was determined to make it work for us by sacrificing.  Certainly it is not martyrdom, but motherhood that keeps me going.

From my experience, I can tell you that budget sometimes never really enters into why a new homeschool mom wants to return her child back to public school.   I am hoping you will address those fears now and avoid any setbacks.

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers Part 1

Whether your reasons are strictly academic, faith based or a combination of both like me, they are the very thread of your journey.  Make them strong now by deciding not to waver when you may feel weak.

Painting them clearly like I mentioned whether you write them or journal them is the way to make them real.

Visualization is a powerful tool because your children will grow up, your homeschool journey will fly by and you want to visualize your end result.

Visualize what type of children you want your children to be when they are grown.   It means to ponder the possibilities of your choices.

Looking back now with my oldest son graduated I can truthfully say that I didn’t even come close to pondering the blessings that I have received.  When I held him in my arms at three years old wrapped up with a blanket as I helped him sound out words and helped him with his first pencil grip,  I fell way short of imagining my end result.  I should have imagined and dreamed with a lot more effort.  It is hard to picture something real with weak conviction.

Take time to list your reasons to homeschool and cherish them and renew your love for them each year.

When you have been sleep deprived by a precious newborn for many nights with no end in sight and your not sweet oldest child has hit raging hormone level and he can’t say one thing out of his mouth that is less than fighting words each day and your house looks like mini-bombs have gone off in it, know you are not alone.  It is part of the down side to the journey and it is not even realistic to say you can avoid the stresses of homeschooling.

However, more than anything your attitude and outlook at the lifestyle you have chosen affects the way you deal with it when it comes up.  Falling back on the reasons you homeschool strengthens your resolve.

Don’t give up something that is precious to the very core of your family without a fight anyway.  From those tests that you live through comes a conviction and dogged determination for homeschooling.

How many reasons do you have on your list? Want to share some of them with me?

Hugs and love ya,

2012Tinasignature Free

Look at some of mine on my list, though I do feel it might be time to update it too.

40 Reasons I Homeschool

 

The Ultimate Guide for New Homeschoolers – An Easy Beginning!

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

In preparing the ultimate guide for new homeschoolers a lot of things affected what I selected to include and not include.

My over 20+ years of homeschooling experience influenced this list, but my unique experiences in mentoring new homeschoolers in person for 10 years had an equal weight. You’re getting a two-pher.

Based on years of experience I have unique one of a kind resources for new homeschoolers.

I not only have a self-paced, instant access, online boot camp, but an awesome book. They stand alone in the homeschool world because like I mentioned earlier, they’re not just based on personal experience.

My experience alone may or may not be of value to you, but one-to-one coaching for newbees gives me a one-of-a-kind perspective.

Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp is a companion to the online, instant access, self-paced Boot Camp Course. You don’t need my book to do the boot camp. You’ll get tons of value from either product.

New Homeschoolers Who Want to Avoid Rookie Mistakes

I know you’re interested in purchasing curriculum right now. 

There is a time to purchase curriculum, but go through these resources first so that you make a well-informed choice. I’d like to save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

STEP 1. Homeschooling Begins with Education for the New Educator

It is important to get the help and education you need like just like any new teacher would. Avoid the rookie mistake of jumping in and purchasing curriculum.

What IS and What IS NOT Homeschooling

Deschooling is the MOST important beginning step. Look at Deschooling: Step One for the New Homeschooler (the Definitions, the Dangers, and the Delight)

Video: How to Deschool – Are You Doomed If You’ve Never Deschooled?

Homeschooling works well for ANY child because EVERY child deserves an individualized education, but that doesn’t mean everyone can do it. 

In addition, homeschooling looks different for each family.

Some families have both parents that work, have one full time working breadwinner, or one family could be a single mom. Homeschooling is flexible for ALL those families.

Arming yourself with pros and cons, you can decide how you will handle the naysayers.

Homeschool Stats & Facts NOW Equals Deep Roots

We’re going to talk heart to heart, but we need to go beyond the warm and fuzzy part of homeschooling.

Look at the success of the homeschool approach by reading the stats at NHERI (NATIONAL HOME EDUCATION RESEARCH INSTITUTE ).

What IS Homeschooling

  • biggest difference – parent controlled
  • you can choose all online curriculum, part physical books or mix and match
  • testing becomes the right of the parent who knows the child best and understands that a test is nothing more than a tool
  • conferences are not needed because as the tutor of your children you know what they’re learning. Even if you just begin to homeschool, it doesn’t take long for you to know exactly which subjects your child excels in and which subjects he will need support for.
  • your schedule is adopted based on your family’s needs and not based on an outdated school schedule, which was set up based on a society that was much more agricultural than our society is today. 
  • Being in control doesn’t mean you can’t use something laid out by another company, but then that is your choice.
  • accreditation is no longer a term which homeschoolers fear because they know it doesn’t have anything to do with the value of an education. Be sure to read my article, Accreditation – Removing the Shroud of Mystery.

What is NOT Homeschooling

Homeschooling is NOT school at home. If the public school system is not working now, why repeat it?

  • You don’t have to have a chalkboard, dry erase board or even a school room.
  • Some families prefer a schoolroom, others don’t and still others just don’t have the space for one.
  • A school room or lack of it does not make a true homeschooler.
  • Don’t confuse not doing public school at home with not being able to use an online school if you need one.

Look at my post The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home?

Choosing curriculum is NOT the first step.
(Veteran Tip: Look at Why Buying Curriculum Won’t Make You a Homeschooler – But What Will)

Step 2. Know Local Homeschool Law AND How-to Meet It

Determining what type of curriculum you will be using is affected by the laws of your land. Most homeschool state laws are relaxed meaning you have a good amount of control over the type of curriculum.

Why is that important?

If you have stringent records to keep, then for your first or second year get something boxed or laid out because it eases homeschool stress or record keeping in the beginning when you don’t what to keep and what to throw away.

Go to HSLDA {It’s short for Home School Legal Defense Association} to know the laws of where you live. It has a clickable Map. It’s that important to know BEFORE jumping into purchasing expensive curriculum.

I’m not a lawyer, but having helped new homeschoolers in many different states, I have a good handle on understanding quite a few laws in different states.

Tip: Of course, your local state group is the best resource, but I will help if you’re lost. I want you to get the help you need.

Look at my Big Ol’ List of All-In-One Homeschool Curriculum (a.k.a Boxed) .

Next, instead of choosing only curriculum that public school uses, you want to use curriculum which supports the way your children learn best.

Step 3. Veteran Tip: Curriculum is Organized by Homeschool Approach.

Learn the homeschool approaches first!

Look at the top 5 Homeschool Approaches.
(Veteran Tip: Expand your view of what is curriculum.) Look at 45 Ways to Define Homeschool Curriculum – Is Your Definition Holding You Back?

I am not going to overwhelm you with all of the approaches that have come and gone; the ones below are the most popular approaches in homeschooling. 

First, I have defined the approach and then I give you a link/s as homeschoolers share about the choices that fit their family or to help understand the approach better.

1.
Eclectic/Relaxed/Unschooling Approach
(Veteran Tip: This is really 3 different approaches, but they share some similarities. In the spirit of simplifying your start I grouped them together.)

Though I think that unschooling has received a bum rap in the past, it is more common for this approach to mean more of a relaxed approach and somewhat eclectic. But each family defines what unschooling means for them.

Unschoolers use a real life approach and child-led approach meaning they simply follow the interests of their children to decide what will be learned for the day.

They trust a child’s natural desire to learn and feed that from infancy. A lot of them do not use formal curriculum.

Although it is child-led, many unschoolers use some curriculum. I prefer to use Sandra Dodd’s definition found here at What’s the Difference between Relaxed Homeschooling and Unschooling?

Look at A day in the life of radical unschoolers

In recent years, eclectic homeschoolers have also emerged separate from unschoolers.

Eclectic homeschoolers are homeschoolers who mix and match the characteristics of the different approaches explained here and don’t really hail to one homeschool approach over the other.

Look at I’m an Eclectic Homeschooler. What Exactly Does That Mean?
Look at What is Delight-Directed Schooling.
Look at Relaxed Homeschooling and what it looks like years later.

2.
Charlotte Mason Approach

I prefer the definition at Simply Charlotte Mason: “The Charlotte Mason method is based on Charlotte‘s firm belief that the child is a person and we must educate that whole person, not just his mind. So a Charlotte Mason education is three-pronged: in her words, “Education is an Atmosphere, a Discipline, a Life.”

Look at Our Journey Westward for a Charlotte Mason schedule.
Look at What Drew Me to a Charlotte Mason Education.

3.
Classical Approach

Susan Wise Bauer is the modern model of classical education and I prefer her definition: “Classical education depends on a three-part process of training the mind. The early years of school are spent in absorbing facts, systematically laying the foundations for advanced study. In the middle grades, students learn to think through arguments. In the high school years, they learn to express themselves. This classical pattern is called the trivium.”

Look at the introduction to classical education.

4.
Unit Studies

I also prefer Susan Wise Bauer’s definition of a unit study. “A unit study integrates disciplines together, rather than dividing them into separate “subjects” to be pursued at different times during the school day. Literature, history, science, mathematics, art, music, history, and so on are all studied through their relationship to a core organizing principle.”

Look at Homeschooling Styles: Unit Studies
Look at Unit Studies: Multi-Age, Multi-Subject Approach to Learning.

5.
Workbook, Textbook, also called Boxed and All-in-One in the homeschool world.
(Veteran Tip:This is the approach you’re probably most familiar with since it’s used in public schools.)

I like the definition at Education Today. “This traditional approach uses graded textbooks or workbooks that follow a scope and sequence. Each subject is covered in 180 daily increments per school year for a span of 12 years. Teacher’s manuals, tests and record keeping materials are usually available.”

Look at the Textbook Approach To Education.
Look at the Traditional Approach to Homeschooling.

Why You Should Start with Inexpensive or an All-in-One Curriculum

 During my many years of mentoring new homeschoolers, I’ve seen them spend thousands of dollars on a curriculum. That is so needless.

Choosing inexpensive curriculum in the beginning gives you financial room to understand what grade level each of your children are truly on and not just choosing the next grade level. Your money goes further because you made a more informed choice.

(Veteran Tip: Another HUGE rookie mistake is choosing the next grade level without truly understanding what your children know or don’t know on his or her grade level.)

Avoid the mind-set that if your children repeat a subject on a grade level or reviews it that they will be behind. Some children jump several grade levels in one year because they repeated material previously not mastered.

A well-defined goal in the beginning should be that your children become masters of their material which means slowing down or going down a grade level when he needs to and skipping a grade level when he has it.

And guess what? In homeschool, we don’t really keep up with grades. 

Oh we do pay attention to grade levels/grades (sometimes) as we move our children on their courses, but the point of it is that children do not develop evenly. They are ahead in some subjects and struggle with others.

Look at my 7 Budget-Friendly Language Arts Curriculum to Pair with Unit Studies (with printable). Look at BEST Curriculum by Homeschoolers for Homeschoolers, Digital Homeschool Curriculum – Big Ol’ List, and Is Homeschooling Expensive.

A boxed curriculum gives you a pattern to follow which a lot of new homeschoolers need. 

From using a boxed curriculum, you determine what you like and don’t like about one homeschool approache over another and that helps to save you money in the long run from too much trial and error.

Don’t make another huge rookie mistake while using boxed curriculum which is to do it ALL.

Do not be a slave to boxed curriculum meaning you need to avoid the thinking that you have to complete the whole thing. Use the parts that you need while you are reading all you can in your first or second year. 

No wow factor happens when you complete curriculum. Completing curriculum does not mean a child understood it. Understanding and completing curriculum are not synonymous.

The end goal during the first year or second year is to find the approach that fits your family best and it takes time.

Homeschool Curriculum Organized by Homeschool Approach – Ewww so Fantastic!

To give you a head start, I’ve taken a few curriculum providers and organized it below by approach so I help you conquer the curriculum conundrum.

Look at the candy store homeschool curriculum providers below that stand ready to help you succeed.

Textbook Approach/All-in-One
  • Easy Peasy All in One
  • A Beka Book
  • BookShark
Classical Approach
  • Classical Academic Press
  • Classical Conversations
  • Veritas Press
Charlotte Mason Approach
  • Queens Homeschooling
  • Ambleside On Line
  • The Good and the Beautiful
Unit Studies Approach
  • Konos Character Curriculum
  • Tapestry of Grace
  • Trail Guide to Learning

Step 4. Homeschool Schedule, Organization, and Lesson Planning

Awww, yes NOW the part that most new homeschoolers have the hardest time achieving and that is how to add in school to an already busy day.

I have had MANY schedules through the years and they were based on the needs and ages of my children and whether I had to work or not.

Look at these tips.

Video: How to Homeschool Lesson Plan EZ by Tina Robertson

I have one of the BEST organizing tools in the homeschool world and it is the 7 Step Homeschool Planner. You build it yourself using my beautiful forms.

Video: Scheduled & Lesson Plans A Bit Like Chemistry New Homeschooler Boot Camp by Tina Robertson

And yes, I am going there next and that is homeschool socialization.

Step 5. Homeschool Socialization

We do crawl out from under our rocks.

Okay, seriously the homeschooling world is brimming with activities. Albeit, they vary from area to area. The point is your children can be involved in as much or in as little you want them to be.

If you haven’t already heard from the homeschool critics, you will. Some new homeschoolers get hit pretty hard early on in their journey by well wishing family members with questions and then sometimes you will receive plain down right criticism. 

It can be hard if you have tender feelings on top of being antsy about succeeding. 

Look at these links to grab some gracious and quick replies!

How-to Extinguish Any Possible Spark for the Love of the Learning

I know you can’t wait to dig into curriculum because you may feel it is the very proof that you need that you are now an official homeschooler. 

I admit that I love the stuff myself too and curriculum buying can be pretty addicting.  It is something that I still look forward to each year as if it was my very first time.

How can you determine if the curriculum you choose will make a good fit for your family?  True, some of it is trial and error, but some of it is not. 

I have you covered with some tips on how to not extinguish the love of learning.

Keep in mind that if you use a text book approach now because you feel comfortable with it, it is okay. 

The Ultimate Guide for New Homeschoolers by Tina Robertson. A homeschool mom of 20 years experience AND who taught workshops for years to new homeschoolers. Don't Miss this!

However, if you have a child that is extremely burned out on this method used in public schools, you will want to implement some other approach from the beginning because you don’t want to turn your child off to homeschooling in the first few months.

So your teaching style and homeschool style will change as you meet the needs of your kids and utilize your strengths to be the best teacher for your children.

remember you’re not teaching curriculum, you’re teaching a child.

AND I have OH SO MUCH MORE for you!!! Here is my category on my site Tina’s Dynamic Homeschool Plus with tons more tips for newbies.

Can I help you with something now?

Hugs and enjoy this plethora of information intended to set your feet firmly on the road of new homeschool beginnings.

This blog hop is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutual beneficial projects.

Should A Child Have a Choice to Return To Public School?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Starting to homeschool seems easy by comparison when you have to confront an issue like should you give your child a choice to return to public school.

Return to Public School. Homeschool - Should My Child Have A Choice to Retun to Public School

{For the sake of clarity when I mean return to public school, I am talking about leaving your home to go to a public school setting to be guided by somebody else and their standards.  I am not talking about using textbooks at home.  Too, I am not speaking about circumstances out of our control that do not allow us to homeschool at the present moment.  Big difference.}

Return to Public School?

The subject can send as many sparks flying as the topic of disciplining children can.

Never shying away from topics that could be unpleasant, I hope after reading this you can walk away with conviction about your choice to not give your child that option.

My son never got an option to return to public school.  It was never allowed as a choice for our children to make in our home.  Does this make me more or less of an unpleasant teacher?  Judge that for yourself as I want to share with you why my husband and I made that decision in the beginning of our homeschool journey.

Returning to public school normally means your child has had some length of exposure to it.  My sons have not had that experience.  Did that lack of experience make the curiosity for public school not come up in our home?  No, it came up.  Taking Mr. Senior 2013 out in Kindergarten, he never really had any bad experiences so his curiosity was piqued.

I do think the key to understanding your child is to determine if it’s just curiosity or if your child perceives they are lacking something in their journey.

So if that topic came up, I wasn’t going to wait for it to happen before I had a plan in place.  Determined on creating many learning opportunities and experiences, I focused my time and energy on that.

Learn Through Experience or Example?

As home educators, we are not afraid of work.  Most of us go above and beyond the call of duty so to speak to find what works for our children.  And then sometimes that is not enough.  It can be flat out discouraging, but I will share some tips in just a minute to breathe some life into your efforts.

First though I want to give you some tips on analyzing which set of values or mind-set you will adopt as you homeschool because it affects the merit or value of your decision.  Is it best to learn through experience or by examples?  I am often told that some children just need to experience it.  I don’t hail to that way of thinking because experience is not always the best teacher.  Learning from examples or by example is a much better teacher.  In other words, you don’t have to experience pain to appreciate the lack of it.

From the time children are very young, they need a standard by which to measure their decisions.  Core values for a family usually enters at this point.  It did for us.  I want my sons to know that they can make a good decision regarding their life choices way beyond what a person thinks my sons should make at their age if they have a reliable standard to measure by.

The Bible has always been our standard and we shared with our sons that it is our responsibility, no cherished privilege to guide them.  That mind-set has been engrained since they were young.  So returning to public school was not seen as a topic that was open for discussion, it was seen as a loving decision anchored in our values.

Hard or Hardly Working Mom?

What always was and still is open for discussion anytime day or night is what they feel that they need at the present moment.  If they feel at anytime like they were missing out on something, it is my responsibility to care for that need.  A child will grow, but not necessarily grow up loving to be self-educated unless we show them the positive aspects of our decision.

Make yourself available and open to discussions.  Having candid talks and 1:1 heartfelt conversations with each child gathers more momentum as your child grows.  At certain ages, normally preteen to young adulthood, I have spent more times during the school day keeping the communication lines open with my sons than they have completing school assignments.  This is not easy as they become young adults establishing their core values.

Sometimes that is just not enough either because you have to meet their needs and it starts with YOU, not with a support group.  I want you to hear my heart on this.  When your children are young, you are their everything in the world.

But when they are older and decision making ability is being nurtured and everything in the world matters to them, that time is more uncertain as they enter adulthood and your guidance is absolutely essential.  It simply can’t be left up to somebody else to make your children happy or fulfilled.  They have to learn to look within too as to why they may feel that they are missing out.  For sure it is easier and more of an adventure to fill our children’s needs by joining with others or joining a support group.  I encourage you to embrace those groups.  But at some points in my journey, I did not have an active homeschooling community near me.

Hardworking Homeschool Mom

{Look to your church for finding friends and don’t forget to include extended family as you build a network for a support group.  The homeschoolers will come as you set out to host functions for your children. When they do, connect with them.}

So focus on what you can do.  I have shared before how my New Bee Homeschooler Program, Free Lapbook site and my co-op were created out of my desire to push, no impel myself into another level of teaching and to provide my sons with the best teacher they can have.  I will not be content until my sons’ needs are satisfied and overflowing.

So I don’t “dictate” {or is that guide lovingly} that public school is not an option unless I have provided many other opportunities for them to choose from that meets their needs.

Also, I never used returning to public school as a means of discipline or allowed it as an option from an early age.  What I do know is that though the topic came up and we talked openly and lovingly about why they may want to experience it, the decision to not return to public school has saved my sons much grief through the years by not starting/stopping public school again and again.

I recently helped a friend who allowed her 13 year old daughter to make that decision to return to public school.  After a few months, she returned back home again.  I helped her to remember that sometimes as a parent we have to parent instead of being their friend.   It’s our job to protect, shield, guide and give them sound reasons for our values and not be the because-I-told- you-so parent.

Important: You can’t wait until your children are preteen or teen for them to know your feelings on this.  When their hearts are malleable is the time to share why you feel that there is nothing that the public school offers that you can’t give to them abundantly.  Do YOU truly believe that?

Conviction is not just expressed, but lived day by day.  Conviction is not just your opinion, but it is based on evidence.

As a whole, (because I don’t pick on public schools or caring, loving public school teachers) the public school system is not a superior academic or moral system.

When you are convicted knowing that you are giving your children the best in education, then you never feel that you are keeping them away from something that is better or that they are missing out on something.

What Your Past Can Teach You About Homeschooling

Understanding another person’s past experiences too is key to understanding this sensitive topic and why homeschoolers are so passionate about the decisions they make.

Our upbringing and the job our parents did with us can’t be overlooked.  Many parents today had parents who were dictator-like.  This is not what I am talking about in our home or any home.  Perhaps too as a child a homeschool parent needed friends and their needs were not met.  As parents now, they want to be sure they don’t make those same mistakes with their children.  Some feel that the public school is a way to have those friends, I do not feel that way.

Again, those needs can be met abundantly in homeschool though it may require a bit more hard work, ingenuity and inspiration.

Not giving my sons a choice about returning to public school, but always having a choice in their education has not been easy.  But is homeschooling really about choosing an easier path?

It’s easier to make the decision that your children have no say in the choice to return to public school, but it’s quite another thing to live with that decision.  Avoiding some of that stress that can happen in a homeschool journey by including our sons in on the conviction of why we chose this path has allowed us to have no regrets because our time has been spent on the value of our precious journey and not on the what if we return to public school.

Are you one of the ones living your homeschool decision with conviction?

Hugs and love ya,

2012Tinasignature French Revolution Unit Study – Pain Au Chocolat Easy Recipe