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homeschool crisis

The Truth About Delaying a Start to Homeschooling

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The Truth About Delaying a Start to Homeschooling @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

From the depths of my heart, I feel that homeschooling is the ideal choice for any family. Reality is though, that there are just some people who are not willing or don’t have the circumstances to homeschool – yet. Kids being bullied, kids that have a compelling desire to move ahead academically and kids struggling with learning especially benefit from homeschooling.

Is Homeschooling The Last-Ditch Effort?

However, I have on more than one occasion discouraged parents from starting to homeschool because the truth about delaying a start to homeschooling is that there are 3 things that you want to consider before you dive into homeschooling.

Look at these 3 reasons why you should consider delaying a start to homeschool until you have time to address them.

1. If there is more of a discipline problem than an educational problem.

Several times as a homeschool leader, I have spoken to lawyers, locked horns with public school counselors who were not informed of current homeschooling laws and even testified in court one time. Most of the time the parents had behavioral problems with their kids.

Disciplining desperation led parents to homeschooling.

I had to think about testifying in court on behalf of two families that wanted their 15 year old children homeschooled because the daughter of one family was pregnant by the son of the other family.

Now, they wanted to homeschool. That is what I call the ugly side of homeschooling because families are not embracing homeschooling because they believe in the value of it or they are trying to head off some disciplinary problems before they happen.

I wouldn’t take parents in my homeschool workshop that are now wanting to homeschool because their child were in drugs or mischief. It may sound harsh, but there are two very different classes of parents who come to homeschool.

There is the class that believes in it because of all the advantages a child has (and I don’t mean those parents who thought they never would homeschool and are homeschooling) and then there are those that come to it because they don’t have a choice because they were not involved parents.

Parenting is a hard job and sometimes no matter what we do, teens will make their own choices.

It may be no fault of the parent, but then again the relationship with the child is what needs to be worked on now instead of the educational system.

In the end, I decided to testify for those two families that wanted to “homeschool” because they were both expecting their first grandchild from two 15 year old kids and because I knew they didn’t have many options.

My heart was absolutely broken for both families. It was not homeschooling like it should be, it was just being homebound. Look at my article, What is REAL Homeschooling? Homebound, Co-op or Public School at Home.

2. When one parent is completely against it.

I am not talking about a scenario when Dad may be skeptical and wants you to prove it to him the year you start, but where he is flat out against it.

Having a family and successful marriage is tough enough these days without adding to the stress of it. Marriage doesn’t afford you the luxury of avoiding controversial subjects.

If homeschooling is a controversial subject now, then it will always be until you both see eye to eye on it. If your husband is against homeschooling, don’t nag him, but graciously keep showing him all your well thought out research.

As long as he wants to continue talking about it, then keep on discussing it. But I have never encouraged a spouse, husband or wife, to go against the wishes of the other.

There are more things than academics to teach kids when you bring them home to school and one very important thing is teaching them how to work out things in a marriage. Agree first to homeschool and then homeschool in peace.

3. Lack of support system.

Sad to say, I have seen many parents bring their teens home to school only to leave them alone at home every day while they work. Teens are at various levels of maturity and while some can stay home and stay self-motivated each day, others still need some kind of support.

A support system doesn’t have to be a whole lot of people. It can be just one family member or a trusted close friend that will help you when you need it. By the teen years, most kids can work independently. Independently doesn’t mean always being alone or not having someone to supervise their work or monitor their success or lack of it.

Ideally, a family will meet with more success if the main homeschooling parent, which normally is mom in a lot of cases can dole out a bit of time each week to go over the child’s assignment.

Even if she has to work full time, spending a bit of time each week with her children, no matter how self-sufficient her children are is the best gift you can give to your children. Your kids still need parental guidance and supervision to make the shift to being responsible adults.

I have helped single moms and single dads learn how to begin to homeschool their children while they worked because they had a plan in place which is to get grandpa or grandma to help so their children were not alone all day.

One single mom that I helped even gave up some of her independence and made the decision to move back in with her parents (of course her parents were on board with it too).  Her daughter would not be alone during the day and the grandparents and homeschooling mom worked out an arrangement where the homeschooling mom provided a good amount of income for all of them.

When the Going Gets Tough Do the Tough Really Need to Get Going?

Many years later after her daughter graduated, I heard from that mom as she came to me with tears of appreciation in her eyes.

I am no good when somebody else is crying, I have to join in too. I told her then that I was the one grateful for her friendship and that she taught me the power of a strong-willed parent and the value of a support system.

Homeschooling is not always about what we want, but what we are willing to give up so that we can homeschool. I learned so much from that single homeschooling mom.

Too, homeschooling is not about educating at all costs even at the cost of your marriage or sacrificing the relationship with your children.

Have you carefully weighed the cost of homeschooling?

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

In the meantime, go through my 31 Day Free Homeschool Boot Camp and look at Go Ahead and Make a Mistake: Homeschool Without Fear and Homeschooling – Beginnings are Usually Scary, Endings are Usually Sad, but It’s What’s In the Middle that Counts!

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.
Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

 

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps (Want to Join Me?)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps. Facing a homeschool crisis tirelessly.

Stress, finances, fatigue and every day life are tough enough to deal with. Add in homeschooling, mix it all around and it can be the perfect quitter’s recipe. Look at my article, What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return).

Though I didn’t appreciate when it was happening, (hard to do that when stressed) my first time of stress was also the first test of my homeschool values.

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps

So today, I want to come from a delicate spot and that is my heart.

And you know I try to steer clear from too much over the top drama here when I share with you.

But tears, emotion and drama are the very things needed when you face a homeschool crisis. Look at my article, Go Ahead and Make a Mistake: Homeschool Without Fear.

Before you decide to quit homeschooling, look at two things I learned when several times throughout my homeschooling, I have felt like dropping out.

1. Time to dig deep NOW for your values.

Each family begins homeschooling for various reasons. You have them too.

Whether your reasons are faith based, not schooling for religious reasons at all or schooling for a mix of both Biblical values and academic excellence, they are still dear to you.

At the beginning of homeschooling the reasons are vibrant and so in-your-face. The longer you homeschool, the more grit it calls for because the reasons seem to fade away.

That is the point. They seem to fade away, when in fact probably nothing much has changed.

My first test I remember clearly because I quit. I felt like I wasn’t teaching Mr. Senior 2013 how to read well, I felt weak and caved.

How to Go from Fantasy to Reality?

I sent him to public school for part of Kindergarten.

Half a year later and some standardized testing (because I didn’t trust myself), I learned that he was far ahead of the other kids.

I didn’t value the reasons that brought me to homeschooling. Instead of standing solid at the first test of my values, I dropped out.

However, dropping out is not necessarily permanent in homeschool. I brought Mr. Senior 2013 back home after a short time in public school and he never returned.

Did you notice the mistake? I can clearly articulate it now.

Instead of viewing my family values and reasons for homeschooling as priceless and a treasure, I skipped over the need to cement them in my heart.

I dismissed them every so slightly (okay maybe more liked dropped like a bad habit) and focused only on the academic part of homeschooling. (important for sure)

Instead of understanding that academics is only one reason I was homeschooling, I got off balance.

Nothing really had changed.

I still wanted to be the one there for my sons first time to walk, to read, to learn to write, to share in his love for learning all the way until he graduated.

The Mr. and I wanted to be the ones to influence the spiritual man in each son. That’s not going to happen when they are away from us.

2. Where do you spend your time? Do you have public school or homeschool friends?

The next stressful time in my life was when my sweet sister had to spend a good amount of time in ICU after a huge scare from her not breathing. How would I continue to homeschool?

She not only needed me, but she had two kids also that needed care.

Was this the time to send my kids to public school so that I could take care of her long term?

You know, looking back some things you think about just don’t make sense. Of course, at the time with a tremendous amount of stress, any reasoning seems justified.

And no, life was not done with me yet.

Next, came my husband’s heart attack where he almost lost his life. And it’s easy to think we’re too young to have this happen and especially while I have three kids at home, but then this life is not about being fair.

Was this the time, now that Mr. Senior 2013 was in high school that I should send him to public school and quit homeschooling and focus on my husband in ICU?

From trials comes life lessons.

By this time, I was part of an active homeschool community and had many homeschool friends.

Beyond the Basics of Homeschooling?

How did this affect my determination to homeschool through trials?

It made ALL the difference between quitting and successfully meeting these challenges.

Looked at what I learned.

  • Because I embraced a homeschooling lifestyle, I was no longer looking for ways to quit, but for ways to stick to our homeschooling life style through trials.
  • Instead of using the circumstance of taking care of my sister and her family as an excuse to give up, I used it as a way to teach my sons about how to care for other people. We made many trips to the long term care facility, many meals and many trips to see her. Look at what I wrote: All of our children met the challenge of being more independent and helping each other out. They ARE LIVING in the real world and dealing with life as it comes along. My niece who is just 16, same age as my son, ran their family owned business. She answered the phone, dealt with customers and filled orders. She has gone to “work” each day for 26 days in a row, not missing one day of being there from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Mmmm, do you think she has a good grasp of being out on her own now? We are so proud of her and my son. My son ran my house and homeschooled my youngest son, cooked their lunch, cleaned the house and washed clothes. He bought groceries and went right on with the household. All of the children went right on with their routine they learned while homeschooling as I have spent many long days in the hospital by my sister’s side. My homeschooling friends, like family now were valuable in their love, support and suggestions.
  • When my husband had his heart attack, Mr. Senior 2013 (though still in high school) had to work for a month in our business. This too didn’t involve behind the scenes work, but he went with an installation crew to customer’s homes to install products. He didn’t want to give up our homeschooling lifestyle. And the flexibility in our schedule to slow down and care for my husband would not have been an option if he was in public school. My homeschool friends were the ones that reminded me to take care of what was important now and that homeschooling would wait.

See, I tried in the beginning to keep “friends” from public school, but it gets tough the longer you homeschool because of differences.

We don’t spend much time with public school friends now. Not because we are being snobbish, but because we are looking for ways to stick to our goals.

Friends can make you falter or give you fortitude when life happens.

Homeschooling in real life looks very different from whats planned on paper.

From this I want to encourage each of you to take hold of the homeschooling lifestyle.

Don’t be so easily swayed to let go of something that is precious.

Through struggle comes change and conviction and a fortitude that this IS the best education we can give our children.

We empower our kids to move along with their lives when we are not around to be there prodding them and that cannot be taught in public school or through curriculum.

Also, look at 10 Books That Boost Your Homeschool Zen (When It May Be Sagging).

Hugs and love ya,

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

3 Ways You’re Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

3 Ways You're Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

3 Ways You’re Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be

If only magic fairy dust could be sprinkled in my fairy tale land that I like to escape to when the hard times of homeschooling hit. And then all my homeschool woes could go away. I’m still waiting for it to happen.

In the meantime, sharing 3 ways you’re making homeschool harder than it has to be, I hope these tried and true tips will help you make some changes and sprinkle a little magic fairy dust for you.

1. STICKING POWER OF A SCHEDULE.

Wait, don’t run. This is not another tip about a schedule that holds a stranglehold on you, however, a workable schedule has sticking power and it relieves stress.

The magic fairy dust is that a schedule can be as detailed or not as you need it to be.

If you don’t have a schedule, you really aim for nothing in the day.

It can be as simple as scheduling zones in your day like a homeschool zone, a cleaning zone and a resting zone.

Divide your day into zones that work for your family and you’re done.

Simple, but effective schedules gives you a flow to your day.

I go into more detail in my article, How to Create a Homeschool Schedule that You Can Stick To. And if you are doing unit studies like I do, look at the flow to my homeschool day with this schedule.

2. ARE YOU STILL TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN AT SEPARATE GRADE LEVELS?

Believe me, transforming over to teaching multiple ages of children together only sounds like it’s for tough homeschoolers.

You know the ones you think that have it all together. They may or may not have it all together, but they have successfully tapped into a teaching tip from the past that has worked for homeschoolers for many years.

Staying Ahead of the Pack

The one room schoolroom is a thing of the past, but not for most homeschoolers.

The big scare factor when you have not taught multiple ages is thinking that you need to teach them all together at the same time.

Tap into the tips I share in 5 Days of the Benefits & Challenges of Teaching Mixed Ages Together series.

3. NOT TAKING TIME FOR YOU.

When I started homeschooling, I only read encouragement about eating right, taking vitamins and exercising to take time for you.

Though I love all those things and have done them throughout the years, I really crave time to read more, organize my house, write lesson plans, search for hands on activity.

Every mom is different, including me and sometimes my mom time includes meal planning or kitchen organizing.

It also includes using YouTube for workouts and lesson planning.

The longer I homeschool, the harder it is to separate teacher and mommy things I enjoy and I don’t need to because I am both of those things.

Homeschooling becomes a way of life and so in my mommy time, it’s about what makes me rock or relax for the day.

Things like organizing, meal planning, exercising with YouTube and doing nothing at times all fall under mommy time for me.

Create a simple, but effective schedule, learn from the past about how to teach children together and spend free moments in the day the way that relaxes and refreshes you.

You’ll also love these tips when you start back at the basics of homeschooling.

Day 1: Learn the Lingo – Then Go

Day 2: Homeschool Roots Matter

Day 3: What is NOT Homeschooling

Day 4: ” Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace” – Confronting Relatives & Naysayers

Day 5: Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round & ‘Round – So Get Off

Day 6: Homeschool Hangouts & Socialization Situations

Day 7: Tied Up With Testing?

Hugs and love ya,

Be sure you are following BOTH of my Pinterest Accounts for more tips on not just surviving homeschooling, but thriving, growing and flourishing.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

The Best Bad Homeschooling Advice (That You Should Actually Consider Trying)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

The Best Bad Homeschooling Advice (That You Should Actually Consider) @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Homeschooling advice is not only limited to new homeschoolers; it can come from any well-intentioned person, even a non-homeschooler.

Even if you don’t look like you need it, you’ll still homeschooling advice. You know what I mean.

The Best Bad Homeschooling Advice

After getting some “bad” homeschool advice, I have to admit that I actually needed to follow some of it.

■ Use a boxed curriculum.

I left behind boxed curriculum after I was past being a new homeschooler.

So when another seasoned homeschooler suggested I use a boxed curriculum while I was in the process of moving, I was taken back by the advice.

I never told her, but that day I did just what she suggested because it made sense.

I purchased a boxed curriculum for one semester.

I gave my boys laid out curriculum, packed my boxes and we made a huge move.

I spared myself a lot of anxiety by following that best bad homeschooling advice.

Also, check out my article, How to Use a Boxed Curriculum Without Giving Up Your Homeschool Approach.

■ Get your mom or dad to help you teach a subject or two.

If you have parents that are not supportive of homeschooling, then one of the best ways to get them on your side is by asking them to help you teach a subject or two.

It’s not exactly what you want to hear and especially if your parents are not supportive of your decision to homeschool.

However, grandparents bring a richness of life and a whole wealth of experience that your children deserve.

When the boys were real little, my parents lived on the same wooded acreage as we did.

My boys would run over to my mom’s house every day after school to “narrate” back what they learned. Having a captive audience when I no longer could listen to them helped them to retain information more readily.

If your parent’s health is good, they may be better at teaching a subject or two that you may be weak at.

My mother excelled at math and math has been my weak area always.

Her influence on my sons has been a valuable asset to my homeschooling journey because two out of the three sons are advanced in math. I am grateful.

Did I mention that time away from me was a break for my boys? Check out my article, How Grandparents Can Inspire Your Homeschool Journey.

■ Stop running around so much!

Ouch! That one hurt.

I thought the “good little homeschool mom” kept the roads hot while she took her children to “socialize”.

Slow down, stay at home and homeschool was the best piece of advice I could have received from a seasoned mom when I started my journey.

Of course at the time I had the miffed look thinking that was bad advice because I was going to be sure my children didn’t crawl under a rock somewhere.  Can you just say ugly?

Humbled by what I know now many years into my homeschooling journey, I spared myself a lot of wasted time on the road when we could have stayed home a bit longer.

Too, I have never wanted to be known as a sensitive homeschooler or one who takes offense easily thinking that all homeschooling advice is well- intentioned, but misguided.

Homeschooling is about a whole hosts of difficult choices, so I am glad that I actually tried some of the best bad homeschooling advice I’ve ever had.

How about you? Have you ever received some best bad homeschooling advice?

Hugs and love ya,

Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Second Chance Homeschooling

Taking Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten after putting him in for Kindergarten at the beginning of the year, I knew I had a second chance for homeschooling.

If you are struggling with gearing back up for the school year, I want to share a few pointers that helped me to plod along.

I believe in second chances and do-overs in homeschooling.

Second Chance Homescholing. We can have them. @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

There are so many things in life that we can’t do over, but homeschooling is not one of them.

If you didn’t get covered what you wanted to last year, make it a priority this year. Priority means first. You get a second chance.

New Beginnings

If you are sheepishly returning to homeschool because putting your children back in public or private school didn’t work, don’t pick up where you left off.

Determine first if it was the homeschool or because life happened that made you return to public school.

If you just pick up where you left off without examining what was the stress inducer, you could be setting yourself up for another disappointment.

Hear my heart on this next point.

3 Important Truths To Remember When Beginning AGAIN

We read so much about leaving guilt at the door, but not enough about analyzing it. If we had no feelings of guilt, what kind of mom would we be? Would we even be viewed as human?

Having feelings of guilt means that we are aware of our weaknesses and we realize there is a standard.

I feel this way when I can’t live up to God’s standards. It keeps me aware of my weaknesses and that there is a standard I desire to live by. I strive to do better next time.

Balance is required though because we can’t get that confused with trying to be a perfectionist homeschooler.

Are our feelings of guilt because we couldn’t marry our expectations of unrealistic homeschooling with what we could actually do? Then that thinking needs to be left behind.

Analyzing but not constant agonizing over past mistakes keeps us balanced.

If we always tend to contemplate on how we are not doing enough in our day it can erode our homeschooling.

Erosion is a slow process and then we may sabotage our own homeschool because we give up.

Remember, these 3 key ways to get on a different path when you are beginning again.

 1. analyze guilt but don’t agonize over it;

2. don’t be confused between guilt feelings of trying to school by a higher standard and having perfectionist standards that nobody can meet. Good can come out of trying harder next time; and

3. avoid erosion which is constant wearing down.

If it is our thinking we need to change, if we need to join a support group, if we need to leave a support group or if we need minimal contact with naysayers, then take positive actions to do it now to keep your joy in homeschooling.

Each year negative things can take stabs at our every day joy. It’s hard for even the strongest homeschooler to not get wore down. So remove things that can make your homeschool backslide.

I do think that at the end of my homeschool journey that I might want a do over on something, but I won’t ever regret trying to make it right this year.

I was inspired by this quote today as I don’t want to let go of what I have learned from the past years.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.”

Hugs and love ya,

Also, check out these articles:

Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children?
3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator

It’s Tough To Start Back Over Again – But Well Worth It