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Avoid the Homeschool Blues

When Your Homeschooled Child is Interrogated (And How to Get Past It)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When Your Homeschooled Child is Interrogated (And How to Get Past It) @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Normally, we love to tell curious folks that we homeschool. Too, it’s okay for others to be concerned because we don’t want to be touchy and overly sensitive about our choice. However, it’s quite another thing when your homeschooled child is interrogated. After all, if somebody was curious and looking for information they wouldn’t be interrogating your child, right?

Today, in sharing when your homeschooled child is interrogated (and how to get past it) I hope to infuse you with a few points to help you stay one step ahead of a situation like that.

What are you looking for?

Too, having your child questioned by a family member, like a mother or mother in law, than by a total stranger is hard. Saying things like what does that sign say or what did you learn today to our children may give them the impression that your parenting and homeschooling should be judged.

In learning how to diffuse the situation, you have to decide what are you looking for. In other words, whether others affirm or condemn your choice, will it affect your decision to homeschool? Are you really seeking their approval?

In a close family, it’s normal to want the approval of family members, but reminding yourself that you will never ever please everybody is sobering.

It comes back to what are you looking for. Are you looking to give your child the best education you can possible give him or please family members? Ideally, we want both, but sometimes we can’t have that.

Having a determined mindset from the beginning helps you cope better with the situation because the go jump in the lake approach is probably not a good reply.

Next, I have learned through helping other homeschoolers that things only get worse if they are allowed to go on for a time.

For example, most parents feel pretty comfortable talking to their own adult child and know what they can say or not say, but to talk to the daughter in law or son in law can be different. Sometimes a mother in law feels at more liberty to speak her mind when it may not be solicited.

And don’t get me wrong, I am all ears for any pearls of wisdom that come from parents that have already successfully raised children, they should be honored.

However, in a family where the adult children are now raising their own children, it their sole responsibility to raise and homeschool them.

Suppressing the the situation is best done by the dad taking the lead if he is talking to his own mother.

Start off the conversation by saying questions to you about how the kids are homeschooled are always welcomed. However there is a difference in wanting to know how the children are progressing and passive aggressive type of comments to your children, which is setting an example for your children to undermine your authority.

Speaking parent to parent helps your mother or mother in law to take the problems to a parenting issue, which is what homeschooling really is all about. If she can see that she could be possibly undermining your authority in front of the kids, you could soften the situation.

Sometimes that does not work and there are times where the law has to be laid down. I have found that instead of saying we will not have anything to do with you, it is better to not take things to that level – yet.

Is Passive Aggressive Questioning Okay?

Instead, say that until the questioning stops or passive aggressive comments stop, your family will  not have a relationship with her. It is sad if a situation has to come to that end and hopefully, it will not.

Try to remember that most grandparents no doubt have a deep love for your kids and their doubts and disapproval come from there.

If it is a total stranger questioning your child, it is easier to just say that your decision is not up for debate or discussion and then change the subject.

Every situation is different when somebody starts questioning your child. On the one hand, a person may just be curious. On the other hand, if an adult has or had kids, they should know that the child should not be questioned about your parenting decision and that is not something to take lightly.

I try to be transparent about our homeschooling, always ready to give an answer for those interested in homeschooling because I want to inform and not automatically assert bad motives.

And finally, try to remember that if you are having a bad homeschool day share with somebody else who homeschools. Though it may be comfortable complaining to family members, if those family members are not supportive of  homeschooling, then you may be bringing more stress on yourself.

Even though family and friends may not understand that questioning your homeschooling goes directly to questioning your authority as a parent, try to cut them some slack and keep the focus on where it should be which is what is best for your child.

Has anybody ever interrogated your child? How did you do with it?

Also, look at these other tips and helps:

Hugs and love ya,

Also look at 3 Homeschooling Myths Debunked, and Should A Child Have a Choice to Return To Public School?

Check out these books too if you need to recharge your homeschooling conviction!

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe
When Homeschooling Gets Tough: Practical Advice to Stay on Course
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life: Balancing Home, School, and Family in the Real World

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps (Want to Join Me?)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps. Facing a homeschool crisis tirelessly.

Stress, finances, fatigue and every day life are tough enough to deal with. Add in homeschooling, mix it all around and it can be the perfect quitter’s recipe. Look at my article, What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return).

Though I didn’t appreciate when it was happening, (hard to do that when stressed) my first time of stress was also the first test of my homeschool values.

Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps

So today, I want to come from a delicate spot and that is my heart.

And you know I try to steer clear from too much over the top drama here when I share with you.

But tears, emotion and drama are the very things needed when you face a homeschool crisis. Look at my article, Go Ahead and Make a Mistake: Homeschool Without Fear.

Before you decide to quit homeschooling, look at two things I learned when several times throughout my homeschooling, I have felt like dropping out.

1. Time to dig deep NOW for your values.

Each family begins homeschooling for various reasons. You have them too.

Whether your reasons are faith based, not schooling for religious reasons at all or schooling for a mix of both Biblical values and academic excellence, they are still dear to you.

At the beginning of homeschooling the reasons are vibrant and so in-your-face. The longer you homeschool, the more grit it calls for because the reasons seem to fade away.

That is the point. They seem to fade away, when in fact probably nothing much has changed.

My first test I remember clearly because I quit. I felt like I wasn’t teaching Mr. Senior 2013 how to read well, I felt weak and caved.

How to Go from Fantasy to Reality?

I sent him to public school for part of Kindergarten.

Half a year later and some standardized testing (because I didn’t trust myself), I learned that he was far ahead of the other kids.

I didn’t value the reasons that brought me to homeschooling. Instead of standing solid at the first test of my values, I dropped out.

However, dropping out is not necessarily permanent in homeschool. I brought Mr. Senior 2013 back home after a short time in public school and he never returned.

Did you notice the mistake? I can clearly articulate it now.

Instead of viewing my family values and reasons for homeschooling as priceless and a treasure, I skipped over the need to cement them in my heart.

I dismissed them every so slightly (okay maybe more liked dropped like a bad habit) and focused only on the academic part of homeschooling. (important for sure)

Instead of understanding that academics is only one reason I was homeschooling, I got off balance.

Nothing really had changed.

I still wanted to be the one there for my sons first time to walk, to read, to learn to write, to share in his love for learning all the way until he graduated.

The Mr. and I wanted to be the ones to influence the spiritual man in each son. That’s not going to happen when they are away from us.

2. Where do you spend your time? Do you have public school or homeschool friends?

The next stressful time in my life was when my sweet sister had to spend a good amount of time in ICU after a huge scare from her not breathing. How would I continue to homeschool?

She not only needed me, but she had two kids also that needed care.

Was this the time to send my kids to public school so that I could take care of her long term?

You know, looking back some things you think about just don’t make sense. Of course, at the time with a tremendous amount of stress, any reasoning seems justified.

And no, life was not done with me yet.

Next, came my husband’s heart attack where he almost lost his life. And it’s easy to think we’re too young to have this happen and especially while I have three kids at home, but then this life is not about being fair.

Was this the time, now that Mr. Senior 2013 was in high school that I should send him to public school and quit homeschooling and focus on my husband in ICU?

From trials comes life lessons.

By this time, I was part of an active homeschool community and had many homeschool friends.

Beyond the Basics of Homeschooling?

How did this affect my determination to homeschool through trials?

It made ALL the difference between quitting and successfully meeting these challenges.

Looked at what I learned.

  • Because I embraced a homeschooling lifestyle, I was no longer looking for ways to quit, but for ways to stick to our homeschooling life style through trials.
  • Instead of using the circumstance of taking care of my sister and her family as an excuse to give up, I used it as a way to teach my sons about how to care for other people. We made many trips to the long term care facility, many meals and many trips to see her. Look at what I wrote: All of our children met the challenge of being more independent and helping each other out. They ARE LIVING in the real world and dealing with life as it comes along. My niece who is just 16, same age as my son, ran their family owned business. She answered the phone, dealt with customers and filled orders. She has gone to “work” each day for 26 days in a row, not missing one day of being there from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Mmmm, do you think she has a good grasp of being out on her own now? We are so proud of her and my son. My son ran my house and homeschooled my youngest son, cooked their lunch, cleaned the house and washed clothes. He bought groceries and went right on with the household. All of the children went right on with their routine they learned while homeschooling as I have spent many long days in the hospital by my sister’s side. My homeschooling friends, like family now were valuable in their love, support and suggestions.
  • When my husband had his heart attack, Mr. Senior 2013 (though still in high school) had to work for a month in our business. This too didn’t involve behind the scenes work, but he went with an installation crew to customer’s homes to install products. He didn’t want to give up our homeschooling lifestyle. And the flexibility in our schedule to slow down and care for my husband would not have been an option if he was in public school. My homeschool friends were the ones that reminded me to take care of what was important now and that homeschooling would wait.

See, I tried in the beginning to keep “friends” from public school, but it gets tough the longer you homeschool because of differences.

We don’t spend much time with public school friends now. Not because we are being snobbish, but because we are looking for ways to stick to our goals.

Friends can make you falter or give you fortitude when life happens.

Homeschooling in real life looks very different from whats planned on paper.

From this I want to encourage each of you to take hold of the homeschooling lifestyle.

Don’t be so easily swayed to let go of something that is precious.

Through struggle comes change and conviction and a fortitude that this IS the best education we can give our children.

We empower our kids to move along with their lives when we are not around to be there prodding them and that cannot be taught in public school or through curriculum.

Also, look at 10 Books That Boost Your Homeschool Zen (When It May Be Sagging).

Hugs and love ya,

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for more AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

3 Ways You’re Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

3 Ways You're Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

3 Ways You’re Making Homeschool Harder Than It Has to Be

If only magic fairy dust could be sprinkled in my fairy tale land that I like to escape to when the hard times of homeschooling hit. And then all my homeschool woes could go away. I’m still waiting for it to happen.

In the meantime, sharing 3 ways you’re making homeschool harder than it has to be, I hope these tried and true tips will help you make some changes and sprinkle a little magic fairy dust for you.

1. STICKING POWER OF A SCHEDULE.

Wait, don’t run. This is not another tip about a schedule that holds a stranglehold on you, however, a workable schedule has sticking power and it relieves stress.

The magic fairy dust is that a schedule can be as detailed or not as you need it to be.

If you don’t have a schedule, you really aim for nothing in the day.

It can be as simple as scheduling zones in your day like a homeschool zone, a cleaning zone and a resting zone.

Divide your day into zones that work for your family and you’re done.

Simple, but effective schedules gives you a flow to your day.

I go into more detail in my article, How to Create a Homeschool Schedule that You Can Stick To. And if you are doing unit studies like I do, look at the flow to my homeschool day with this schedule.

2. ARE YOU STILL TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN AT SEPARATE GRADE LEVELS?

Believe me, transforming over to teaching multiple ages of children together only sounds like it’s for tough homeschoolers.

You know the ones you think that have it all together. They may or may not have it all together, but they have successfully tapped into a teaching tip from the past that has worked for homeschoolers for many years.

Staying Ahead of the Pack

The one room schoolroom is a thing of the past, but not for most homeschoolers.

The big scare factor when you have not taught multiple ages is thinking that you need to teach them all together at the same time.

Tap into the tips I share in 5 Days of the Benefits & Challenges of Teaching Mixed Ages Together series.

3. NOT TAKING TIME FOR YOU.

When I started homeschooling, I only read encouragement about eating right, taking vitamins and exercising to take time for you.

Though I love all those things and have done them throughout the years, I really crave time to read more, organize my house, write lesson plans, search for hands on activity.

Every mom is different, including me and sometimes my mom time includes meal planning or kitchen organizing.

It also includes using YouTube for workouts and lesson planning.

The longer I homeschool, the harder it is to separate teacher and mommy things I enjoy and I don’t need to because I am both of those things.

Homeschooling becomes a way of life and so in my mommy time, it’s about what makes me rock or relax for the day.

Things like organizing, meal planning, exercising with YouTube and doing nothing at times all fall under mommy time for me.

Create a simple, but effective schedule, learn from the past about how to teach children together and spend free moments in the day the way that relaxes and refreshes you.

You’ll also love these tips when you start back at the basics of homeschooling.

Day 1: Learn the Lingo – Then Go

Day 2: Homeschool Roots Matter

Day 3: What is NOT Homeschooling

Day 4: ” Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace” – Confronting Relatives & Naysayers

Day 5: Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round & ‘Round – So Get Off

Day 6: Homeschool Hangouts & Socialization Situations

Day 7: Tied Up With Testing?

Hugs and love ya,

Be sure you are following BOTH of my Pinterest Accounts for more tips on not just surviving homeschooling, but thriving, growing and flourishing.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is it Worth the Risk?)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is It Worth Taking the Risk) @Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

When I started my blog, I wanted it free of drama. No, not free of emotions or tears because I do have them.

But I want it to be a place where I can give you the heads up when homeschooling becomes tough. The ups and downs of homeschooling or when homeschooling is not an overnight success can make you feel defeated.

Focusing on feeling utterly defeated at times is not about what I didn’t do for the year. It is about the lessons I learned from my failures.

Do You Cheat Yourself?

It’s about empowerment and it is the way I stay stoked about homeschooling. I do believe in the power of positive thinking.

Look at these ideas I pull up from deep down and bring to the surface when I feel defeated at times.

It’s About the Journey, Not the Destination.

The destination is important, but it is what is done day to day that matters in the end.

Did you know the destination can change? I don’t mean homeschooling, but I do mean when a child becomes an adult sometimes their plans are not what you planned.

Focus on molding them to be the person you want instead of the plan.

Learning and building character is like layering. Each layer takes painstaking time to build.

Before I started homeschooling, I had an idea that I wanted my teaching days to be rigorous, but filled with practical learning activities.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I did think success happened quicker. I’m a bit delusional, I admit.

It’s not because I had unrealistic expectations, but I did have high expectations. That is a fine, but subtle difference.

High expectations can be a trap of discouragement.

Not everybody coming to homeschooling has unrealistic expectations, but even “ambitious” homeschooling has a way of biting you back.

Look at my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does it Really Work.

I have never wanted my sons to abandon the freedom to learn at home; so I have had to reevaluate realistic expectations.

During the grueling years of homeschooling, I learned that my homeschool vision or ideas can fade.

Each year I have to remind myself to refine my expectations to achievable so that I don’t fall into the trap of disappointment.

Refining expectations, showing up at the teaching table each and every day, focusing on the very short time together before your kids are out of the house and the magnificent moments of today are huge motivators for me each day.

Mistakes are Proof that You’re Trying.

Making mistakes are part of homeschooling. Many times mistakes are made just because of a lack of knowing. There is nothing wrong with that.

We learn from failures and we improve. I have made many mistakes.

  • I didn’t match the right curriculum to one of my son’s learning style.
  • I over planned for the day and ended up frustrating myself and my kids too.
  • I said said something to one of my son’s in anger.
  • I pushed my sons because I wasn’t sure they were giving me their best.

The point is I can accurately define each one (admit them) and do something about them.

Do You Want a Positive Guarantee That Homeschooling Will Be Successful?

It’s not the mistakes that kills the joy of our homeschooling, it’s not changing or correcting the mistake.

You don’t expect your kids to not make mistakes, so don’t make a different standard for yourself. Keep balanced about what you expect from yourself as a teacher.

Like your child, you do expect them to learn from their mistakes.

I would rather risk a change or mistake then to complete my homeschool journey and live with “what ifs” or regrets.

I would rather live by the saying, “The Man Who Makes No Mistakes Does Not Usually Make Anything”.

The Good and Bad of Comparisons.

I have said it often that comparisons can rob you of homeschool joy.

There are probably less than a handful of people that can say they know your exact circumstances when it comes to homeschooling.

Even saying that, I too can be guilty of comparing myself with others whose circumstances are completely different than mine.

Comparisons hurt because they can reflect our short comings or where we may have failed in homeschooling.

However, comparisons can have a positive effect if we use it like a measuring tool.

I ask myself can I do better? Do I need to take the criticism or comparison and apply it to myself and do better?

Sometimes what I think I am doing and what I am actually accomplishing do not equal.

I need to take a closer look at what I am doing because a comparison can spur me on to be better. Not stress me, but stimulate me is what an objective comparison should do.

Homeschooling is still scary at times. Some days, I still feel like I am navigating uncharted waters. But I would rather take the risk.

Our adventure reminds me of another saying that I keep tucked away too and remember from our study of the American Revolution.

The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.

What do you keep tucked away deep down and bring up when you fight the feelings of disappointment?

Hugs and love ya,

 

Look at some more ammo:

What I Gave Up to Homeschool (And What I Got in Return)
Second Chance Homeschooling – Can We Have Do-Overs?

Follow Me on Pinterest too Because I would Love to Keep You Stoked!!

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return). @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Pl

Bitterness or resenting homeschooling after you have made the choice to homeschool is an easy trap to fall into.

There is much hype about homeschooling. Though some of it’s true, some of it is not.

Making wise choices for your family is about being realistic too when it comes to homeschooling.

The homeschooling lifestyle can either fall like a ton of bricks into your lap and not really be a choice you contemplated or you may be like some who planned to homeschool before the birth of their child.

Whatever the case, what you give up to homeschool matters because having a realistic picture of homeschooling can quell homeschooling doubts. How does that happen?

Look at these things that you will face or may have already faced so far in your journey.

What I Gave Up to Homeschool

Addressing them now helps you to weigh your choice in advance.

■Being homebound.

Yes. I feel at the beginning of my journey that I was more homebound.

At the end anything always gives you a better vantage point.

So now, I don’t have kids that are 4 years old, 2 years old and newborn any longer.

What I realize now is that regardless of whether I homeschooled or not, I was at home more because of the ages of my children.

I may have given up some of my freedom, but what I gained by not just being home, but using my time to nurture my sons’ relationship with me and their father and spiritual training have far outweighed anything I felt like I gave up to be at home.

It was hard to feel that way when I washed baby clothes every day, picked up after toddlers and had one sleepless night afer the other.

But, I would NOT give up one moment of it to watch EVERY precious educational step they took.

■ Giving up my hobbies or interests.

Yes, I gave up some of what I wanted to do as far as personal things. My brain is always ticking for another creative visual project, but I had to learn to curb it so that I could stay focused on what my sons needed for the day.

Back in the day, scrapbooking was the craze and I saw it as a benefit to organizing all of the photos I would have through the years.

Guess what? I have only a partially done scrapbook for my first son and fast forward 16+ years of homeschooling, I have thousands and thousands of photos that need to be organized.

On the other hand, I also have thousands and thousands of moments of tender time with my sons.

Two of my sons are finished with homeschooling and as I look at the men they have become, I don’t have to have a photo to look at to see the strong and spiritual men they are becoming.

Oh sure, I would love to organize all those photos, but then again I would have missed the moments of homeschooling.

Instead of fretting over what I couldn’t do, I used my ticking bomb brain to create over 40+ free homeschool unit studies and lapbooks for my sons (and your kids too) and a 7 Step Homeschool Planner for me and you.

I wouldn’t trade that for anything!

■Traveling. Giving up my freedom to travel.

Scrapbooking seems so shallow by comparison to the legal job I enjoyed.

As a certified paralegal, I enjoyed traveling to different places, receiving continuing education and stay in beautiful hotels and places.

Did I mention I loved the aspect of dressing up each day? It made me feel good.

Though my hair may now do just as well up in a hair clip and my latest apparel are comfortable capris and a cutesy top, I never would have imagined that as homeschoolers we would have traveled to the Amazon Rain Forest for a “field trip” or lived abroad.

I still don’t give up dressing for the day when I can and I will never give up my makeup or big jewelry. The homeschooling community just accepted me as I am.

Though I miss the days of my career and reading legal briefs (I am weird that way, I love all that fine print), I savored the moments when I read my sons’ essays and topics that piqued their interests.

Though I will probably never help pick a jury out or negotiate with an attorney, I chose homeschool co-op leaders like Kelley and Cynthia.

They are not only awesome and strong homeschool leaders, but spiritual women who influenced my sons during their school time and ultimately life. I will never be able to repay them for their positive influence on my sons.

Negotiating with an attorney for one of my clients seemed easier by comparison than consulting with the other homeschool leaders for planning field trips and co-ops for our large homeschooling group.

These are three things I gave up to homeschool, but what I got in return not only outweighed what I have given up, but has surpassed it.

It was easy to forget, though I thought I knew it, but reward comes at the end.

Tiny payoffs during the year are just that – small. However, they were always enough to keep me going and not regretting the homeschool lifestyle I chose.

What have you have given up so far to homeschool?

You’ll also love to read these articles:

Hugs and love ya,