A Fresh Start Homeschooling Mid-Year & Thriving

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 5 Raising Independent Learners

November 25, 2014 | Leave a Comment
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I want to encourage you today in 5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 5 Raising Independent Learners because our homeschool journey is not always free of worry.

Through the years, we realize that time with our children is fleeting. During the early years, we have the power to either teach them self-sufficiency or expose them to being vulnerable.

Fixating on curriculum choices is normal also because our desire to give our children a superior education is important to us. Raising independent learners is not just about browsing curriculum choices even though I couldn’t have been convinced otherwise when I first started my adventure.

Keeping a clean house, managing our finances and the needs of my small children consumed my day when they were younger. Many times I felt like I was behind in using that new captivating curriculum in my schoolroom. Everyday tasks left me with the idea that I was not teaching anything.

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 5 Raising Independent Learners

What I didn’t expect now is that I would treasure the experience of raising independent learners through everyday living. Chores and task that seemed mundane at the time have now turned into a daily exercise of having a personal resolve for whatever Mr. Senior 2013 sets out to do.

Sure, it’s a work in progress with all of my sons, even with Mr. Senior 2013. But, the time spent with him is the most precious gift I could give him.

There are different tips for each age and maybe some of these, I hope, will comfort you.

Start a routine of chores when they are very young. Preschool and earlier is not too young to start. It could be something as easy as taking their socks to their room. At this age, it is all about age appropriate chores. If children can’t learn from the beginning to value a toy, their article of clothing or anything else in their room, then they will place little value on what you tell them as they grow older. Respect begins here.
Routine is the security blanket of good behavior. Many times in my workshop I share that everybody has some degree of organization though they may not think so. True, it may need to be fine tuned so that it becomes a routine instead of haphazardly responding to each day, but routine means forward progress. It is not easy to break bad habits but your desire to want something better for your children will show them what you value in your life. In turn children feel secure because naturally they desire boundaries and limitations. Creating routine in everyday life turns into good habits they practice as they grow older.

Children need to make decisions so you can determine if they are applying the values you have taught. Spending time with your children now more than ever before is important, but it is not easy a lot of times.
Children do not always think they need our guidance. As children grow older we tend to think they need us less. This is true when it comes to them caring for their personal needs now, but couldn’t be further from the truth as their hormones rage. Normal hormones indicate that they are trying to make some adult like decisions. Allowing them to make as many decisions as possible that do not conflict with your values helps them to appreciate the freedom that comes with adulthood. Teaching independence comes from them making decisions such as what order of school subjects they do for the day, where they choose to study and even how much they want to cover in each subject.
Clear cut consequences a must while resisting the urge to partake in a battle of the wills. Hormones raging for both mom and child can be a lethal combination. The difference is that most children don’t realize what is going on and it’s not easy for us either. However, being a homeschooling parent means parenting even when we do not feel at our best. It seems that our pre-teens and teens just have a knack for knowing we are not at our peak performance. I find that having clear cut boundaries keeps any comments or actions from escalating into a full blown battle of the wills. I may not feel good then but when I am feeling better that is the time to enforce consequences. Reminding my sons of consequences teaches them to think before they have knee-jerk responses. Don’t be too critical of them though because hormones are real and it is not something we “get over” but deal with each day in love even as adults.

Highschool is preparation for life. Focusing on just the academic portion is normal, but you learn too that highschool is the time to prepare for adult hood. Of all the times that Mr. Senior 2013 needed me, I realize he needs me the most here and now. No, he doesn’t act like that each day but many times he needs a sounding board for what he determines that needs to be done next as he graduates. Young adults now find that sweet maturity may not always be so sweet, it can also be bitter. It is a bitter sweet conclusion for them as they determine whether they are driving, working a job and possibly already doing college that adult life is sweet, but making wrong decisions can be bitter. You do not have to make decisions alone in highschool and this is comforting. If you have done your job well training their strength of character when they are younger, you will have a pre-adult who may have sound opinions and a method for reaching the same goals.
Raising independent dependents. Lately, I use this term a lot because I think it describes the age of highschool. They want independence but realize that we are not all truly independent even as adults. This is still a time of testing boundaries because your children may feel they know a lot of things better than you do. They may or may not. Whatever the case, if they are not taught to respect you and your guidelines they will not respect others, their future spouse, school mates or work mates. Respect is earned inside your home. This means I give respect to my sons too. Raising their voice, exercising argument muscles and flexing their adult voices are part of learning to be an adult. You are the only one to determine when the boundary line has been crossed. We can’t expect to raise independent learners then at the first sign they are trying to be independent, we shoot them down so to speak. Modeling adult behavior begins with you. Their job is to finish the goals you have set down for them and if they can’t do that and work at a job, volunteer, work out at the gym or spend time doing their hobby they are so fond of, then this is the time to teach them how to prioritize as an adult.

Teaching our children to be resilient today is a necessity to survival. It is our job to shield, protect and care for our children as they are young and tender but as they grow older and their decision making ability grows, we need to give up control without giving up our God given authority.

They still need our guidance even as young adults.

Failure is best learned at home when there is not much riding on the decision. When they are on their own, or are making decisions for a family as a head of household then consequences of wrong decisions are more costly.

Either resisting or fulfilling the responsibilities of adult life are qualities that are fortified when they are very young.

It is hard to even comprehend the value of what seems like wasted days when our children argue with us about chores and manners, but your children will praise you when you have taught them to stand on their own two feet.

Hugs and love ya,

Did you miss any of the posts in 5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving?

Look at these other posts too!

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 4 At Home Homeschooler

November 23, 2014 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today, in 5 days of homeschooling mid-year and thriving. Day 4 At Home Homeschooler is about avoiding the “prove it” trap. Don’t succumb to it.

Socialization, curriculum, record keeping, homeschooling high school and preschool preparedness are some of our secret homeschool fears. Trying to only satisfy requirements and produce proof instead of allowing learning to take place naturally at home can be a pitfall.

We live in a world where our culture dictates that we have proof to show anything that we are doing. For example, I think back to the day we got our marriage license. To give any more thought to the marriage license than just to fulfill the legal requirement is ludicrous to even ponder.

At home is where we practiced years on our marriage that I cherish deeply.

Though important, meeting homeschool legal requirements is just a process too, but to homeschool to only meet legal requirements can impede learning.

We don’t intentionally homeschool to only meet legal requirements, but we are victims of our upbringing and the influence of the present educational world.

A fresh start homeschooling mid-year and to thrive at it requires that we first be at home to practice our new cherished relationships.

It does not mean that we barricade the door to our home, but it means we stand ready to open up the door to new opportunities to experience learning. In today’s homeschool world that is called deschooling.

I have heard many definitions of deschooling, but I want to give you mine.

Deschooling means to get off the public school treadmill which encompasses everything about the way the public system views schedules, socialization, discipline, labeling of children, teacher background, record keeping, college readiness, preparation for reading and education in general and determine what education means for your family.

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year

Many homeschoolers start with a textbook in hand and with no more forethought to the process of education at home than just to complete worksheets, assign a test and move on.

This definition by Noah Webster that I share in one of my workshops beckons you to define your meaning of education too.

EDUCATION. The bringing up, as of a child, instruction; formation of manners. Education comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the understanding, correct the temper, and form the manners and habits of youth, and fit them for usefulness in their future stations. To give children a good education in manners, arts and science, is important; to give them a religious education is indispensable; and an immense responsibility rests on parents and guardians who neglect these duties.

Bring your children home, but define your meaning of education also. Step back, breathe and brace yourself up for a lifestyle that will fit your family for a lifetime.
Deschooling also means substituting other activities now in your life that are family centered instead of self-centered on one member of the family.
It can mean taking numerous field trips in one month, taking a family vacation and even getting caught up on much needed rest. It may mean adjusting the eating habits of your family. The definition by Noah Webster broadens our term of educating a family beyond the academics.

The length of the deschooling process is different for everyone, but it should be examined at various points during our homeschool journey.

When a schedule is jammed packed full of outside activities because we fear that our children may not be socialized, then our focus has shifted from the needs of our family to the world’s idea of socialization.

Maybe we forced one child in tears to finish an assignment because the world told us that teaches accountability. Deep down in our heart though our mommy voice may be calling out that our child is suffocating and his self confidence is diminishing.Time is needed to examine and heal those emotions.

At home homeschooling means that we have had enough time at home pondering our definition of education, applying it to our children and celebrating the calming effects on our family.

For some families it has meant several months of being home together so that sibling relationships are nurtured and so that parents become the teen’s greatest friend. Some families find that it takes a whole year before they feel that they have embraced the homeschooling lifestyle.

It does not mean that you do not school but it means that you now determine how the knowledge you are teaching will fit into your definition of education.

Outside intervening pressure to conform to a norm that does not work for our family has now been kept to a minimum. Our culture upbringing still looms close by when fear sets in or when we fail. Pressure to conform to the norm that we left behind will always be here.

At home teaching our children everyday will give us the courage to keep trying when we succumb to pressures. Shedding educational-ese and accepting a new mind-set only happens when we have had sufficient time at home to contemplate all our ideas on education.

No one sets out on their journey to live a double life style.

It happens easily when we try to keep one foot in the public school by keeping pace with the scope and sequence and one foot at home.

Courage is a necessity for all at home homeschoolers so you are not alone.

Detox from public school by deschooling and rediscover how easy learning can take place at home without limits or confinements by embracing your definition of education.

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Did you miss the first three days in 5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving?

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 1 Mind-set Matters

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 2 Mission Accomplished

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 3 Forward Looking–Planning!

Grab some more to read here:

What is NOT Homeschooling

5 Days of the Benefits & Challenges of Teaching Mixed Ages Together

Homeschooling Middle School Doesn’t Always Mean Middle Way

Am I Doing Enough When Homeschooling

A Day in the Life of a Homeschooler Part 1 Early Years

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 3 Forward Looking–Planning!

November 22, 2014 | 3 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Planning is nothing more than forward-looking and then penning those thoughts to paper. Planning can be painless and pleasant. It can also become painful or a burden when we don’t know the basics or lose the simplicity of how to do it.

In our determination to be conscientious homeschoolers, we may clutter up our day with multiple subjects. Stress sets in because we may feel all subjects are equally important. Then the hours don’t equal to the number of subjects we determine that needs to be covered.

Getting started planning or taking time to review your present lesson planning method mid-year can be broken down into simple steps.

Are You Making This Mistake?

1. Know Your Subject and Subjects. It is an easy mistake to make. Take your children out of the grade they are in at public/private school and put them in the next grade up in homeschool.

Grade matters very little in homeschooling because it does not always correspond to mastery. Knowing your child or subject takes time. But because you may want to have curriculum in hand to start school, you have to take other steps.

If you live in a state or country where you are not held to burdensome laws then take your time using very basic workbook style pages to see which subjects your child is struggling in and which ones he is bored with.
Many curriculum providers provide free on line testing and this will help you to make a better fit grade wise regardless of your child’s age.

Take time to know your subject or child before you spend dollars on curriculum for a whole year.

Another mistake made by many homeschoolers is to pile subject on top of subject to our children’s day. If one is good, then surely ten subjects would be enrichment or so we may think.

How do you determine what the essentials are so that your subject load stays streamlined? You may not be a seasoned educator but you know more than you realize.

Take a lesson from the past. One room schoolhouses focused on the 3 R’s. That is the secret. It is not very glamorous sounding but reading, writing and arithmetic are the solid mainstays of a well educated child.

If you are struggling with when and how long these subjects are to be covered, I get more specific in a 3 part series I covered named: What Subjects to Teach and When to Teach Them.

What Subjects to Teach and When to Teach Them.

What subjects to teach and when to teach them? Part 1 of 3

What subjects to teach and when to teach them? Part 2 of 3

What subjects to teach and when to teach them? Part 3 of 3

The other subjects are enrichment and make learning a delight. However, if a child is struggling with any of the 3 R’s, then all of the subjects can become contemptible to say the least.

For example, your child may love to learn about the animals of the rainforest. However, when it’s time to write a few sentences about them, he shrieks in terror and almost passes out at the thought of it. Tears normally follow because children don’t know how to articulate that something is not right.

Maybe he is struggling with fine motor skills and your expectations are too high. You may want to work on composition but he may not have the basics of penmanship down yet.

If you are a creative writer and your child is not, does he live with the fear of disappointing you? Children can have black and white standards. They are either all on board or not at all when it comes to homeschooling.

If they are not on board, then all subjects can be considered wearisome, boring and mundane.

2. Determine an approach. There are 5 basic approaches to homeschooling. Traditional, Charlotte Mason, Classical, Unit Studies and Relaxed or Unschoolers.

Avoid painful planning by sticking to the approach that works best for your family at the moment. It doesn’t mean you don’t investigate the others as you have time. It does mean that you focus on learning all you can about the approach that works best for your family.
I hear all the time that some homeschoolers are so overwhelmed by curriculum choices. But if you will remember to categorize them by these approaches, and investigate only the curriculum that works fits the approach you are using now, you only have 1/5 of the curriculum to review.
Why try to educate yourself on what is working for everybody’s children? You will be a much better teacher if you just focus on the 3,4,5, or 6 children you have.

3. Assign a time. Pen it. Now that you are more acquainted with your subject or your children and the subjects to consider in school, you have to “assign it all a place”.

By penning the subjects, which children you will be working with and how long you will be doing this, it becomes realistic. We avoid having more subjects in our day than we have hours to school. Pretty looking subject lists with no time slots in our day are stress inducers and turn ugly looking quickly.

Whether you use a phone, iPad, computer or printed curriculum planner to organize your lesson plans, you need to assign it all a place.

I have always said that lesson planning for me is better done the old fashion way with paper and pen.

Taking time to pen and assign hours in my day to the subjects helps it to stick in my mind.

It also creates balance in my day because one subject is not covered more than another or completely overlooked. If the schedule is not working, it allows me to go back and see where I need to adjust time slots.

Over-planning and no planning both bring pain. I provide free forms to help you keep it real and get it all done.

Click here to go to STEP 5b. Form 13 named Class Schedule/Teacher Schedule to create your class schedule. It’s EDITABLE.

These three basic steps have to be reviewed each year, whether you are a new or seasoned educator.

Planning can be rewarding because it rejuvenates our love for learning and creates homeschool harmony and balance.

Hugs and love ya,

Did you miss the first two days in 5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving?

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 1 Mind-set Matters

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 2 Mission Accomplished

Grab some other tips here for planning!

Divide And Conquer The Ever Growing List of Homeschool Subjects

Homeschool High School The Must Cover Subjects Part 1

Homeschool High School The Must Cover Subjects Part 2

Gauging Homeschool Progress – Masters of their Material?

Lesson Plan or Lesson Journal?

Homeschool Lesson Planning Backwards Part 2 of 2.

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 2 Mission Accomplished

November 21, 2014 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Today, in 5 days of homeschooling mid-year and thriving. Day 2 mission accomplished, I want to remind you about the realistic side of undertaking this mission.

Crash and burn is almost unavoidable in homeschooling. So does that make our efforts pointless when we attempt to follow a schedule? Do we give up and listen to our heart? Not entirely and here is why.

Changes made by us in the beginning to our heart are just as important if not more so than the changes our children make in adapting to learning at home. I say this often; it is easier to take the child out of school than it is to take the school out of the mom and child.

See our hearts can be deceptive. We may want to follow the public school schedule because we feel our child might get behind his peers. Never mind the fact we took him out so he can go at his own pace and not be compared to his peers.

Also another example of having a deceptive heart is that we may wondering why our child hasn’t learned the multiplication facts that we feel should have been memorized last year.

(Bad maniac momma. Pushing ahead when a preschooler wants to play instead of learn.)

Complete meltdown looms around the next corner when you discover that your friend’s 4 year old started to read and your 4 year old is not sure what a letter is from a fruit loop. I will keep secret my little dear’s name on that one. However, I assure you that today not only does he read above level but he actually is fond of it.

See, when our tricky heart speaks we can become a momma on a maniac mission.

What can happen is that we can so easily forget what brought us to homeschooling. We have lost our mission and maybe did not define it in the beginning.

Hopping on the crash and burn wagon happens to all of us, including myself. I brought tears not only to myself but to my children who wanted nothing but to please and love me.

I basically lost my homeschooling state of mind and needed to find my way again.

Homeschooling is about the heart, but mind-set matters because it brings us back to our mission.

Why did we start homeschooling in the beginning? Underneath making curriculum choices, teaching a child to read and memorizing multiplication facts, the values we hold dear are there. They hold us steady on our course when our emotions want to take over. As I got near to the end of my homeschooling mission with Mr. Senior 2013, I wanted to share a few things that helped me to keep my homeschooling state of mind.

Have a mission. Define it. Accomplish it. Visualize the kind of people you want your sons and daughters to be and make it happen.

Academics are still very important to me but looking at the greater picture I have to ask myself: What value would an excelling education be if it didn’t have future value?

Multiplications facts turn to discussions about successful marriages and curriculum choices turn to discussions about choosing companions that look out for our best interest. Well educated children don’t happen in one year or even a couple of years. They will grow and change but your basic mission should not. Write it down. Writing with pen and ink makes it indelible.

Preserve it because imagination will turn to reality. When you lose your way, your homeschooling state of mind will sustain you through all the doubts.

Feel the homeschool love. Everybody needs it though we may think we can homeschool independent of support. You want to know one of my secrets? If I didn’t head up field trips for my group, I might not ever do them.

Constant excuses like being too busy, too much planning, or driving too far may get in the way. The euphoric feeling we all get after rubbing shoulders with others that are like-minded is infectious.

Hyped up homeschooling carries me through each year. Don’t isolate yourself. It is not weak or vulnerable to need help and each other. Even seasoned veterans should make a habit of receiving continual encouragement. Don’t let mommy martyrdom creep into your journey. It’s true that homeschool joy is the secret to contentment.

Treasure your Homeschool Identity. Though I had tears, I put my oldest son back in school for part of the Kindergarten year because I had lost my homeschool identity.

Fear of failure can be crippling if you don’t realize how unique you are to your children and their journey. Treasure being a teacher in the way you teach.

Don’t give up on yourself. Change if you need to for the sake of your children and do it right away. I constantly petition for humility so I stay not only a willing teacher, but a humble learner.

Now that Mr. Senior 2013 graduated, I am reminded that I was never promised that the sweetest and best things are the easiest things to achieve. I realize that not all homeschool for faith based reasons. I really respect that. But it is at the core of my values and I want to be able to answer the Creator that I have done my utmost as He continues his lifelong training now.

Keep scheduling, keep aiming high, plan time to laugh and let go, reaffirm your homeschool identity, keep memorizing facts, select top notch curriculum that works for your family and you will be a Momma with Mission Accomplished.

Hugs and love ya,

Grab the first post in this series:

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 1 Mind-set Matters

Want to read more?

5 days of a homeschooling co-op convert-day 5: cherished co-ops

Beyond Museums and Zoos Homeschool Field Trip Form

Day: 28 Over Scheduling + Over Planning = Over load. {31 Day Boot Camp For New Homeschoolers on My Blog}

Day 23: But the Dear Doesn’t Want To Homeschool. {31 Day Boot Camp For New Homeschoolers on My Blog}

5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 1 Mind-set Matters

November 20, 2014 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Deciding to homeschool at the first of the year or to renew your love for homeschooling by starting fresh, both require a positive mind-set.

So today, in 5 days of Homeschooling Mid-Year and Thriving. Day 1 Mind-set Matters, I want to share with you how the power of a positive mind-set is about a battle of the wills.

I know you may want to talk shop, as in shop for curriculum. However, from helping others who have succeeded in making homeschool a lifestyle change, I am convinced that the choice of curriculum in the beginning matters very little.

What does matter is a positive mind-set. It probably is a topic very few new homeschoolers or even seasoned homeschoolers may think about. Months or even years into their journey, a family may find the struggle is harder because at the beginning they didn’t simmer over the change.

Understanding what a mind-set is will help you to avoid drudgery along the way or at least minimize it. One of my favorite dictionaries, The New Oxford American Dictionary defines mindset as: “established set of attitudes held by someone.”

So I am asking you: Are you in a homeschool state of mind? Adopting an established set of attitudes does not happen overnight.

Established means . . .

taken time to research the meaning of homeschooling instead of researching only about state laws, standardized testing and field trip groups.

sitting down with your husband to discuss 3 basic goals for your 1st year, 5th and final years of homeschooling instead of sitting down to start school 3 days after you have taken your child out of school.

talking to your child to discuss their homeschooling fears. Voicing either their apprehension or excitement for a fresh start, it is important your child understands that as the teacher now, you are interested in his growth, personal opinions and fear of losing or making new friends.

looking forward and imagining in your mind’s eye what type of husband or wife and Christian you want your child to be.
leaving behind apprehension and fears that you will mess your child up. Fill that time in your mind with books like The Well Trained Mind by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer, For the Children’s Sake:Foundations of Education for Home and School by Susan Schaefer Macaulay, Home Learning Year by Year: How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool Through High School, by Rebecca Rupp Educating the WholeHearted Child — Third Editionby Clay and Sally Clarkson and A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on The Gentle Art of Learning by Karen Andreola.

Jump into homeschooling with all of your heart and your mind-set will follow. Renew your love for homeschooling by taking a risk and changing something at the start of the year.

Hugs and love ya,

Check out these other posts:

3 Homeschooling Myths Debunked

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers Part 1

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 2

When You Don’t Know Where to Begin in Homeschooling. The 3 R’s for New Homeschoolers. Part 3

15 Gift Ideas for the New Homeschool Mom

40 Reasons I Homeschool

The Ultimate Guide for New Homeschoolers

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