homeschool socialization

Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination?

July 11, 2022 | 19 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Anybody that homeschools has probably faced homeschool socialization interrogations. Also, look at more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

Today, I’m sharing about socialization in our homeschool world. Are we as isolated as some think?

First, I want you to hear my story.

Back in the covered wagon days like my kids think or at least LBK (life before kids), I worked with lawyers.

Socialization - A Homeschool Hallucination?

I worked as an assistant to prepare clients for upcoming trials.

See, I’ve always been in preparedness mode.

I took pride in preparing the lawyers for objections from the opposing side.

And I always tried to think outside of the box for one-liners and comebacks when they were needed.

When it comes to homeschool socialization, I feel the same way.

In many ways it is similar to a battle or drama that is always brewing.

Get Those Kids Out of the House

You know what I am talking about.

Maybe you have gotten similar statements – ”homeschoolers are a bunch of holy roly weirdos”, “they’re just weird” or “Mom, those kids are gonna have to get out of the house sometimes”.

I’m sure you have some to add.

Looking back at my LBK days, I probably enjoyed the process of preparing for those far-fetched objections just as much as actually assisting in the courtroom.

Oh sure, once in a while I may have a quick comeback or I might shock astound folks with my quick wit (shock myself too).

But most of the time preparation is key to giving a good defense to the dreaded socialization issue.

It has been facing homeschoolers from the time they mouth the words: “I’m homeschooling”.

First, comes the silent strong look from even complete strangers.

Grab My Book on How to Homeschool

Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is a real eye-opener on homeschooling. It will alleviate a lot of the anxieties about getting started homeschooling.

Reading each chapter’s highlights will give you encouragement, knowledge, guidance, and peace of mind to homeschool with confidence. The best part is that you’ll be educating the person who loves your kids the most in this world--YOU! Armed with the knowledge to make better choices in curriculum will empower you to continue the path of home education. Unlike many books based on one family’s experience, Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers is also based on Tina’s many years of mentoring hundreds and hundreds of new homeschoolers at live workshops.When you don’t know where to begin Homeschooling 31 Day Boot Camp for New Homeschoolers equips you to successfully homeschool your children.

They might as well just say what is on their mind.

It is written all over their face and then comes the blanket statement, which by the way is obvious that they have not researched this topic well.

Each year many new homeschoolers join the ranks with us in homeschooling.

And because we don’t want to be among the ones that are not well-researched, we need to take the time to get a clear cut picture of the meaning or definition of socialization.

Too, it’s hard to be prepared for something that we are not clear on.

Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination

Getting the full flavor of these words, I chose not to use a free definition found online.

Take a glance at these definitions that I took from The New Oxford American Dictionary- Second Edition, which is my dictionary here at my home.

Sociable – willing to talk and engage in activities with other people: friendly

Socialize – 1. mix socially with others 2. make someone behave in a way that is acceptable to their society 3. organize according to the principles of socialism.

See a problem with the definitions?

We certainly don’t want to defend something that we are against because we are not using society’s measure on education or values.

However, probably all of us want our children to be willing to engage in friendly activities with other people and be genuine, compassionate, and caring.

For the most part, we have to assume too that most people think we hide under rocks and come out only at night time and that normally is the thinking that we are defending.

From “Catty” to Congenial Comments

So in the spirit of preparation and not condemnation and because I always want to say “it looks like a prison to me” which is probably not the most gracious reply to someone in public school, I have created a list of one-liners and comebacks.

Here is the question/statement: So why do you homeschool and what about socialization? You are sheltering your children.

I homeschool because I want my kids socialized.
I want my kids to get along with all kinds of people.
We choose to participate in activities with others because we want our kids to accept people of varying backgrounds and ages.
My proof is in the pudding- – would you like to see my lesson plans for the week?

How to Answer Others

Also, look at three more

I am seriously considering cutting back some activities because our week is bulging with social activities and I need time to be at home.
I want my children to be around people who model respect, are considerate and well-spoken. What is learned from an early age will be emulated when they are older and around others that are not respectful or considerate.
Yes, you are right. I am sheltering my children. I won’t be able to do it forever, but I can do it as long as I can and help them to become strong in their faith and values. Seems like what any good parent would do.

And as you can see there is no shortage of ways to reply.

Yes, have you heard of the most recent (insert here: bullying charge, teacher misconduct, shooting or drug raid) at public school.
Sometimes I think we overthink this, what happened to the days when people just got kids together and they played without worrying if they were socialized or not?
Yes, we homeschool because faith matters and I think of this scripture (insert your favorite one here about “dealings with stupid or foolish people” or “training children”).

Homeschool Socialization Situations & Opportunities

Each family has to decide what is best for them because even within each family, children are very different. I have one child that thrives with friends so I can plan sleep overs and lots of meet ups and parties. And I have one child that does not need his emotional tank filled with tons of friends so I can satisfy his need for quiet time and to be with less people.
Would you like to come and be a visitor at our school? (Of course this is meant for a well-meaning relative or close friend that you know.)
I prefer that my children’s learning time not be interrupted because others do not know how to behave.
We homeschool for medical reasons.

Do you see a few you can use?

If you were to ask me before I started homeschooling how much I worried about socialization, my answer would be zero, zip and none.

The problem with this scenario is that I am not homeschooling somewhere on paradise island by myself.

And because we mix and mingle with other people, like you, I get my fair share of second-guessers, naysayers, and plain ole negative nellies.

Gradually folks like that can chip away at your armor and doubt can set in about your decision.

What you need now is concrete proof that we come out from under our rock and caves and that our children are actually very socially adapted.

Social Activities For Homeschoolers

Dare I say they are friendly and some of us actually like people.

Look at these opportunities for homeschool socialization and how we learned with others.

Fall is a great time to be outside and to be with othes.

Anytime is great for visiting your local police department.

Early Years – Fall Activities and Community Helpers

And studying about Native Americans and making your own leather wear is so fun.

Native Americans

Of course some of the best times are when you can see other family’s pets.

Homeschool Socialization

Amphibians and Reptiles

Also, heading outdoors for a Westward Ho co-op is really fun with others.

Westward Hoooo

And a rainforest co-op is just no fun unless you have all the rainforest food.

Amazon Rain Forest

The European Renaissance

Homeschooling and Socialization

Early American History

Ancient Empires/Civilizations

Too, I have never lacked for words when asked about our homeschool socialization opportunities.

However, I have not always been proud of my quick temper.

I know it stems from a place deep down in my heart because homeschooling is a work of the heart and it is hard work on top of that.

Now, I can revisit this post each year and will be armed with gracious speech.

I still miss the drama of the courtroom, but then again I now have homeschooling naysayers, skeptics and Debbie downers to prepare for.

I hope this helps you to be armed for this school year and that others will be astounded at your quick wit and preparation too.

Look at my other articles here and grab yourself some more one-liners, comebacks and gracious sayings

How do you handle your reply?

This blog hop is organized by iHomeschool Network.

Hugs and love ya,

12 Easy Ways Homeschooled Teens and Tweens Socialize

December 27, 2018 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

It’s a valid concern; homeschooled teens and tweens need to socialize more than we do sometimes.

I used to joke that if it was left up to me, I would prefer to stay at home instead of ever going to a field trip. After being around other homeschool moms or families for a day at a fun field trip or homeschool event, I always felt very differently.

12 Easy Ways Homeschooled Teens and Tween Socialize

Homeschooled Teens Socialization

Then, I realized I should have worried more about socialization at the teen and tween years. It’s important to have your kids around other kids when they’re in the younger years;; it teaches your kids to not just focus on self. On the other hand, the teen and tween years have very different needs.

Now that two of my sons are grown, I know that my husband and I are their best friends. But my grown sons have best friends that came from outside of our family as it should be.

Homeschooled teens and tweens need friends outside their family. It’s essential and natural to a child’s development to have friends outside their family.

6 Benefits of Homeschooled Friends

Looking back I know that my kids received many benefits from having homeschooled friends.

Oh yes we have other friends that were not homeschooled, but being a close friend is different.

While we joke a lot about in our homeschool lifestyle, friends are especially important to teens and tween.

Look at 6 benefits of having friends:

When my kids had a friend with our similar lifestyle it made homeschooling the norm;
It taught my kids about what is true loyalty – it’s not blindly being loyal to a person who is deceptive to their parents and others around him;
Finding friends with similar likes and hobbies as my kids encourages passionate lifelong learning;
My kids learned how to listen to others and be interested in them – who wants to be around a person who talks about himself only or shows no interest in what others are doing;
My sons learned how to be generous and share not just their things, but with their personal time; and
Friendships helped them to avoid being lonely.

12 Ways Homeschooled Kids Socialize

One/ Host a LAN party.

I know, I too had to ask my kids what it was when they got invited. But it’s a gathering where a connection is made for multiple game playing. One friend had a router for connecting all of the kids’ games so they could play together.

Grab the pizza and the teens will have fun! The thing with this is that they can play the game and do just a bit of talking. It’s a great icebreaker. This is especially good if your teens or tweens are hesitant about being around others.

Two/Game night.

Kids love games and many ages can play together. Get one or two of your kids to make some brownies and have everyone bring a board game they like and let them enjoy.

Side note: At times I’ve had to set a minimum age for ones to attend just because I didn’t want them to feel too baby-ish. Most homeschooled teens are inclusive of younger kids so teens and tweens together had fun. But there were times they just older ones close to their age.

Three/ Movie night OR movie afternoon.

Depending on everyone’s schedule, my teens did a lot of movies in the early afternoon because it wasn’t crowded. You know as homeschoolers we’re ready to have fun a lot earlier than the public school schedule. After the movie and depending on the group’s budget, they may grab supper and continue visiting.

Going in the afternoon made for a longer period of time and they still were home at a decent hour. This matters if you have new drivers like I did and I no longer went with them.

Four/ Nature Hikes.

Depending on the weather, any time for a tween or teen is a good time for a hike. Barring absolute flooding, my boys were always up for something outside although I may not have been. Normally it doesn’t cost a lot either.

Five/ Escape Rooms.

If you don’t know what they are, I bet your tween and teens do. The first time my boys did one, they were hooked. But it’s a room that has clues (items) left in it and as a group you have to solve the riddles to get out of the room.

Some escape rooms are at libraries, others places are theme parks. Just google escape rooms near me. Again, it’s a great activity for a group to do as they work together to solve the riddles and mysteries to get out/escape the room. They’re timed, but depending on the room it’s normally like a few hours.

Six/ Ballroom dance group just for homeschoolers.

Although my boys were NOT aboard when I formed the dance class, they needed an extra half credit for fine arts. This was my solution. I would have never guessed that they would have loved it as much as they did all the while telling me they were NOT doing it.

We got other boys and girls to make couples and met up once a week. All the teens had a great time. It matters too who are the instructors. We had young and hip instructors and all the group were homeschoolers. My boys have great memories from this once a week meet up.

Seven/Skating (Ice or Roller).

Whether you decide to rent out the ice skating rink or rolling rink or just skate at the park, the kids love it. One group I know said to bring mini wheels and some brought skateboards too.

Eight/ Laser tag.

My boys all loved laser tag. We always met at games rooms so that the kids could have a variety of things to choose from.

Nine/Bowling.

Bowing is another great way for kids to have fun and talk. The more the merrier is best. My boys loved doing this because they could actually talk with their friends instead of just being in a movie and not really having time to visit.

Ten/Theatre.

My boys also loved theatre. It’s a great way to be around other adults. One year we actually put on a performance of Shakespeare at our co-op. So whether you have a theatre night in your homeschool group or go see a play, kids love it.

Eleven/Form a 4-H Club.

Ask your local 4-H office how to set up a club, but they’re fairly easy. We were part of one for enrichment and electives. Each month the kids would decide if they would learn photography together or sewing.

Twelve/ Park days are still cool.

Tweens and teens don’t mind meeting up at the park too. Normally it’s never too crowded during the day unless the public school had a field trip planned that day.

That has happened plenty of times to us. But the kids just visit with each other and enjoy their lunch.

As parents we would bring our curriculum to show each other for the new year and the tweens and teens would bring their games or music. They loved just hanging out with each other.

I remember one time looking over at the huge group because they had a huge roar of laughter. They were arm wrestling. I’m telling you, just provide a place that is fun and they’ll talk and make friends.

There is NO shortage for homeschooled tweens and teens to socialize. These are just the EASY ways I listed for you. Most of these things don’t require much time to host or get together.

What things does your homeschooled tween or teen like to do with other tweens and kids?

12 Easy Ways Homeschooled Teens and Tween Socialize. It's a valid concern; homeschooled teens and tweens need to socialize more than we do sometimes. Planning time for tweens and teens to socialize doesn’t have to be hard. You’ll love these 12 Easy Ways Homeschooled Teens and Tween Socialize. CLICK HERE to read it!

You’ll loves these other tips and articles:

Hugs and love ya,

100 Ways to Silence the Homeschool Naysayers (Maybe!)

November 5, 2018 | 1 Comment
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

It’s hard to believe that we still have to deal with homeschool naysayers, but they’re out there, aren’t they?

The truth is, there will always be critics no matter what you do, and if you’re a homeschooling family. Lucky you! You’ve probably had to handle homeschool naysayers at one point or another.

100 Ways to Silence the Homeschool Naysayers

Although the choice to homeschool has become more mainstream in recent years, you can bet there will always be someone who doesn’t get it. Homeschool naysayers come in all shapes and sizes. They could be your friends, family, or just a good ‘ole fashioned random stranger. Either way, it’s important to be prepared for those moments when the naysayers are out.

Respond with kindness.

Give others the benefit of doubt. Often times, people are just curious about the homeschooling and have a poor way of showing it.

Embrace being different.

More and more parents are turning to homeschool, but it’s still not the norm. Let go of insecurities and be confident in your family’s choice.

Share your success stories.

It’s always a shock to the homeschool naysayers when they learn we’ve been at it for over a decade and have one son in college. Be proud of your successes. Homeschooling is possible!

Turn the table.

Why don’t people ask public school parents the same weird questions they ask homeschooling parents? Try asking homeschool naysayers you encounter some of those silly questions. Do they worry about socialization?

In a perfect world, parents will be able to do what they feel is best for their kids without facing any judgment. Until then? Here’s a mega list for the next time you need to silence the homeschool naysayers.

(Let’s just say you’ll never be caught off guard by critics again!)

Homeschool Naysayers

1. I don’t want my kids falling through the cracks of the public school system.
2. My kids have different learning styles and we need the flexibility of homeschooling.
3. I’m thankful for the freedom to study any subject we want.
4. My kids are learning how to study and research.
5. I’m not judging you for sending your kids to public school, so please don’t judge me for my choice to keep my kids home.

6. Textbooks limit learning to the same old facts.
7. Standardized tests are not a true measure of ability.
8. I want my children to be treated like students and not just a test score.
9. I don’t have faith in a system where the teachers aren’t valued.
10. There’s no better place for a child to learn than home.

11. Classrooms are overcrowded.
12. We never have to worry about the car line or bus stop.
13. Homeschooling is what’s best for our family.
14. Now that my kids are older we take our work with us to the coffee shop.
15. Standardized testing causes so much stress and anxiety in our young kids.

16. We love being able to take family vacations without being tied to a school calendar.
17. I don’t want my kids worried about school shootings.
18. My kids are able to mature at their own pace.
19. Homeschooling fosters creativity.
20. I don’t have to worry about what my kids are learning.

Thank goodness I was never sent to school: it would have rubbed off some of the originality. ~ Beatrix Potter

21. Homeschooling makes it easy to follow passions and turn them into areas of study.
22. We don’t have to deal with bullies.
23. Or drugs!
24. My kids don’t have to worry about the stress of peer pressure or trying to “fit in”.
25. I’m able to offer one-on-one instruction.

26. We are able to cover the same material in a fraction of the time it takes to cover in the classroom.
27. My kids are far apart in age and would never see each other if it weren’t for homeschooling.
28. We get to make weekend breakfast every day.
29. We’re never running late in the morning.
30. My kids are growing up together instead of living on different schedules.

31. I’ll never get this time back and I’m thankful.
32. We get to expose our children to the world on our own terms.
33. Homeschooling has helped our family to work together as a team.
34. I want my kids to learn more about life than what public school will teach them.
35. Homeschoolers are being accepted by colleges and universities nationwide.

36. We get to do projects and experiments as a family.
37. I love that we can impart values and beliefs into our studies.
38. There is a growing demographic of homeschooling families.
39. Homeschool families reduce the burden on taxpayers by an estimated $27 billion annually.
40. It’s nice to be able to focus on life skills students aren’t learning in the classroom.

41. State standardized testing benefits the schools not the student.
42. Homeschooling makes it possible to build long-term friendships as opposed to controlled “socialization”.
43. My older children are learning how to teach through learning with younger siblings.
44. We’re not limited to textbooks.
45. Thankfully, “Common Core” is not a common phrase in our home.

There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent. ~ Gandhi

46. We get to make more memories as a family.
47. My kids are able to dig deeper or go in a different direction if that’s where learning leads.
48. My teenager was able to find a great part-time job due to his schedule flexibility.
49. I want to keep my kids from the stress I dealt with at public school when I was growing up.
50. Homeschooling provides a platform for my kids to be problem solvers.

51. Homeschooling has provided a flexible schedule for my high schooler to complete volunteer hours needed for scholarship applications.
52. Busy learners can stand, jump, and move around as needed.
53. My kids aren’t immediately labeled when they’re struggling.
54. Homeschooling has prepared my college-aged kids for managing their own time and schedule.
55. We aren’t bound to the public school schedule, which is primarily built upon county transportation needs, not the needs of students.

56. We are able to offer a calm, peaceful learning environment.
57. People have been successfully educating their kids at home for decades.
58. Customizing our education has been so awesome.
59. We love learning through field trips.
60. There is more time for hands-on learning.

61. My kids get more time with grandparents and extended family.
62. We have the option to travel any time of year.
63. Our family cherishes the extra meal times we have together.
64. We’ve learned so much about teamwork through homeschooling.
65. If we need a day off, we take one!

6. We get to read whatever we want.
67. My kids aren’t witnessing any physical abuse or bullying at home.
68. We’ve been able to educate our kids about sex, relationships, and marriage in a safe and loving environment.
69. We don’t have to fight weekend crowds.
70. I get to teach my kids through everyday tasks like shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays and have things arranged for them that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas. ~ Agatha Christie

71. I will never regret the extra time I got with my kids.
72. Coasting through the system with C’s and minimal understanding or retention is not OK with me.
73. We don’t have to teach to the test.
74. My kids aren’t forced to be anywhere they don’t feel safe.
75. We have built a strong family foundation homeschooling through hard times.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school ~ Albert Einstein

76. We get to play music really loud during class.
77. We can literally take our school anywhere!
78. My kids have learned how to interact with all age groups.
79. There’s never any busy work or wasted time.
80. We never have to stress with late-night homework.

81. Our pets love having their humans home during the day.
82. We are able to place a greater emphasis on music and art.
83. I’m doing my best to give my kids what they need.
84. My senior is able to spend time focusing on college and scholarship applications.
85. I’m able to customize our schedule to fit the needs of my kids.

86. We’re not dependent on state-funded resources.
87. My kids are able to move through each subject at their own pace.
88. We’re able to do science experiments every day.
89. My teenagers work more productively with a later sleep schedule than public school allows.
90. There’s nothing better than an empty movie theatre on a weekday afternoon.

91. It’s been a huge learning experience for our family.
92. My younger children have learned so much from learning alongside their older siblings.
93. I get to sit and have coffee with my kids instead of rushing out the door.
94. We can really dive into a subject or area of study through food, history, movies, etc.
95. I love that we can focus on character and values in our studies.

96. Homeschooling has taught my kids to be independent thinkers.
97. My kids grow up learning that it’s OK to be different and go “outside the box”.
98. We can take a creative approach to learn.
99. Our family has more time together.
100. Homeschooling is awesome!

How do silence the homeschool naysayers? What would you add to the list?

You’ll love these other tips and grab some of my other 100 round ups:

This blog hop is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutual beneficial projects.

Click the image below to visit all the other blog articles from the homeschool moms of the iHomeschool Network.
Hugs and love ya,