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6 Things I Won’t Regret After Homeschooling 16+ Years

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6 Things I WON'T Regret After 16+ Years of Homeschooling. Don't give up because in the end it's all worth it @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

If this post, 6 things I won’t regret after homeschooling for 16+ years helps you to make even one tiny step toward homeschool progress today, then it’s well worth it.

Each day can seem to make unplanned demands on our time.

And some days it’s difficult to say the least to decide when to let things go like the house or to not school for the day.

Homeschooling has never disappointed me though I have been disappointed in my own attempts to homeschool at one time or another.

6 Things I Won’t Regret After Homeschooling 16+ Years

Here is what I won’t regret when I faced giants though not always feeling so brave and not always having it together each day.

■ I don’t regret letting go of the thinking that homeschool was something we did on the side and that it was a burden that I added to my day.

For the first five years or so of homeschooling, I really had to fight to carve out our time for homeschool.

Some days I just didn’t feel like the homeschool routine. I had to give myself permission to feel weak at times.

It’s not that we had so much going on all the time, but looking back now what I didn’t realize was that I was building lifelong habits of study. It was hard work.

It was different doing a research project with the kids or even reading to them, but I am talking about enforcing a general start time to each and every day so we could be productive.

It took a lot of energy to form my sons’ habits, but what a payoff I was in store for as they hit middle and high school grades.

My kids were and are the ones now getting off their devices, or cleaning up their messes in the morning so they can start school at 9:00 a.m.

Did I mention, I just follow along now as the boys get our day started?

■ Call me Bible thumping or weird, but I don’t regret one minute of all the time we spent with just fellow Christian homeschoolers at field trips and in co-ops.

Our field trips and co-ops were a time to share the highs and lows about homeschooling with others that were not going to judge me.

And no, I didn’t want to vent to somebody who just thinks that they know what I am talking about when it comes to living the homeschool lifestyle.

■I don’t regret not immersing my boys into association with those who went to public school.

My oldest two boys are confident, strong and determined young men now. And capable of making decisions apart from me.

I didn’t deliberately keep them apart from public schooled kids, it just happened naturally.

Too, I don’t want my sons judging other people for choices they make. Don’t we have enough of that in the world? Public school was just not for us.

However, as you homeschool longer, you appreciate too your schedule is not in sync with the schedule of public school.

Through the many years, I have heard new homeschoolers say it’s important for their children to keep their friends from school.

It really is hard to do that and a lot of it depends on how long your kids went to public school.

As homeschool families, we are not really being off-ish. We just live a completely different life and it’s not running parallel to public school.

For my boys, it wasn’t necessary that they huddle in the evening with the neighbor kids to hang out.

We already went to field trips or co-ops during the day. Evening time was naturally spent with Dad when he got back from work.

■I don’t regret exposing my sons to my vulnerabilities as the teacher.

My boys are not robots of me and neither do they have an overly inflated view of me or my teaching.

I want you to know this because, sad to say, some homeschool parents aren’t homeschooling because it’s the best thing for their children.

Instead of keeping what is best for their children as the foundation of their homeschool, homeschooling can turn into a prove-that-I can-quest.

The mindset what-can-I-do-to-top-your-teaching-method can invade the body of a homeschool mom and she can turn into somebody that she doesn’t even know herself.

Homeschooling becomes a competition instead of a course. Ugly.

The child does get left behind (pardon the cliche) because we can set out to prove that the method we feel is the best is the best.

I learned early on that what worked for me and what worked for my sons were completely different. Look at my article, 5 Signs That You Need to Switch Your Homeschool Approach.

Jumping head first into a teaching style that was opposite of the way I thought I should teach, I showed my boys that homeschooling was about them.

Exposing the Vulnerable Side to Homeschooling

They appreciated that I too struggled and it made me a much more sympathetic teacher with them when they struggled.

■ I’ll never regret using a boxed curriculum when I needed to.

Through the years, I have read many pros and cons about boxed curriculum.

Boxed curriculum can get a bum rap because when it’s first used some homeschoolers don’t use it like they need for their family.

Teaching a child is not an exact science for each child and the boxed curriculum doesn’t really teach anything. You learn that you are homeschooling a child.

However, with the many ups and downs in homeschooling, it has been a breath of fresh air to use laid out curriculum and pick and choose which assignments we will do, which ones we will skip and which ones we will tweak.

By the way, that is how you used a boxed curriculum.

I have no regrets in using all that is available to us as homeschoolers.

■And I will never, never regret all the teachable moments we have had so far together while letting the housework and laundry go.

When I shared this poem below each year at my workshop, I could hardly finish reading it because I couldn’t get through the words without tears or a cracking voice.

It’s hard for me to share it with you today because it reminds me of how fast our journey has gone by.

Homeschool Survivor or Champion?

It has come true in my case because I no longer have babies.

So I want to encourage you to remember that you don’t have long to homeschool. And in the end it is about having no regrets.

Babies Don’t Keep

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

What will you not regret at the end of your journey? (And yes, I do have tears when I read that poem each year.)

Grab some more go juice below!

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Second Chance Homeschooling

Taking Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten after putting him in for Kindergarten at the beginning of the year, I knew I had a second chance for homeschooling.

If you are struggling with gearing back up for the school year, I want to share a few pointers that helped me to plod along.

I believe in second chances and do-overs in homeschooling.

Second Chance Homescholing. We can have them. @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

There are so many things in life that we can’t do over, but homeschooling is not one of them.

If you didn’t get covered what you wanted to last year, make it a priority this year. Priority means first. You get a second chance.

New Beginnings

If you are sheepishly returning to homeschool because putting your children back in public or private school didn’t work, don’t pick up where you left off.

Determine first if it was the homeschool or because life happened that made you return to public school.

If you just pick up where you left off without examining what was the stress inducer, you could be setting yourself up for another disappointment.

Hear my heart on this next point.

3 Important Truths To Remember When Beginning AGAIN

We read so much about leaving guilt at the door, but not enough about analyzing it. If we had no feelings of guilt, what kind of mom would we be? Would we even be viewed as human?

Having feelings of guilt means that we are aware of our weaknesses and we realize there is a standard.

I feel this way when I can’t live up to God’s standards. It keeps me aware of my weaknesses and that there is a standard I desire to live by. I strive to do better next time.

Balance is required though because we can’t get that confused with trying to be a perfectionist homeschooler.

Are our feelings of guilt because we couldn’t marry our expectations of unrealistic homeschooling with what we could actually do? Then that thinking needs to be left behind.

Analyzing but not constant agonizing over past mistakes keeps us balanced.

If we always tend to contemplate on how we are not doing enough in our day it can erode our homeschooling.

Erosion is a slow process and then we may sabotage our own homeschool because we give up.

Remember, these 3 key ways to get on a different path when you are beginning again.

 1. analyze guilt but don’t agonize over it;

2. don’t be confused between guilt feelings of trying to school by a higher standard and having perfectionist standards that nobody can meet. Good can come out of trying harder next time; and

3. avoid erosion which is constant wearing down.

If it is our thinking we need to change, if we need to join a support group, if we need to leave a support group or if we need minimal contact with naysayers, then take positive actions to do it now to keep your joy in homeschooling.

Each year negative things can take stabs at our every day joy. It’s hard for even the strongest homeschooler to not get wore down. So remove things that can make your homeschool backslide.

I do think that at the end of my homeschool journey that I might want a do over on something, but I won’t ever regret trying to make it right this year.

I was inspired by this quote today as I don’t want to let go of what I have learned from the past years.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.”

Hugs and love ya,

Also, check out these articles:

Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children?
3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator

It’s Tough To Start Back Over Again – But Well Worth It

Homeschool Confession – My Homeschool Mistakes

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Homeschool confession my homeschool mistakes. Besides mistakes are part of learning how to homeschool. Do you want to hear about some of my blunders?

Homeschool mistakes are part of learning not what to do when homeschooling. However, in the beginning it’s hard to view it that way.

Too, nobody wants to do the trial and error method with their kids.

We have a few short years to homeschool our kids and we want to maximize our efforts.

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes

If I share just three of my mistakes maybe they can save you some grief.

Not leaving the public school mentality.

Isn’t that hard to do? Especially because I was the product of public school.

For example, I never questioned why I needed to test, I just blindly followed the masses.

I realized that leaving the public school mentality didn’t mean not using some of the practical tips that did work in public school at home. 

It just meant to leave behind what I didn’t need because I was not teaching my kids, not a classroom.

New Homeschooler

Because we live in this world, it’s hard to not be affected by the pressure of test, perform and out do.

My sons are just normal boys who have been privately tutored by me. That’s all.

I left public school because I didn’t want to model it at home, not just change geography.

Comparison to other homeschool moms, dad and oh yes their children.

I am guilty. It seemed like some other mom had this whole homeschool thing figured out.

Then I find out later her beginnings were as humble as mine.

I thought other dads did more of the teaching until I realized that statistics show that about 85% or more of the teaching is shouldered by the mother.

I guess it just sounded good when dad did a science experiment with their sons. My science experiments were not that exciting in the beginning. Can you say boring teacher?

Boring and now a show off. Yes, I thought I had to “show off” my progress to my mother-in-law who was not supportive of our decision to homeschool in the beginning.

I had to prove her wrong and was humbled in a lesson I won’t forget.

Trying to show off my teaching skills to her, I asked Mr. Senior 2013 who I was then teaching to read to show us the long i sound. Yes he did.

He promptly went and got the longest piece of white butcher paper he could tear off the roll.

Laying the paper down on the floor, which was twice as long as grandma, my poor baby proceeded to draw the longest i I had ever seen.  I shuffled off in shame.

What to Expect from the Homeschool Kickstarter

From my struggle, I created a curriculum for new homeschool educators. And taught this course in person to new homeschoolers. I’ve now put my course online for all new homeschoolers

More shamed at the fact that I was trying to show off instead of what really was funny at the time though I didn’t feel that way.

Humble me for I needed it for the road ahead.

With the 6 modules and 29 workshops, I walk you step-by-step through beginning homeschooling, understanding the homeschool lifestyle, choosing curriculum, and understanding how to fit it all in a day.

Look at what you’ll learn.

  • Learn how to identify what is and what is not homeschooling. It can mean the difference in succeeding or succumbing to the mindset you want to leave behind.
  • Choose curriculum wisely instead of using the oh it looks good method.
  • Organize the areas of life that collide when you begin to homeschool.
  • Identify and create the right schedule for your family’s rhythm.
  • Understand what is important to teach from K to High School. (Oh, did I tell you I have kids well past 10 years old?)
Not investing more time in my education as a teacher.

Like many new homeschoolers, I too focused solely on my children and their need for a support group, curriculum, socialization and field trip.

It took me a few years before I realized that the best way to help my children was to become the best teacher I could be.

A public school teacher is required to take continuing education classes. Why shouldn’t I?

If I didn’t take time to read blogs, join support groups, buy teacher helps and attend homeschool conventions I couldn’t say I was schooling for my children.

Feelings of guilt that I had associated with longing to interact with other homeschool moms had to be left behind.

Association has to be a vital part of my everyday teaching. Online forum groups were not a waste of time but needed for refreshment and encouragement.

New to Homeschool

Like all things, the time I took for educating myself and camaraderie had to have a place in my life to be balanced.

Your turn: Do you have a story we can learn from? I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes

I thought about this quote today because after many repeated failures, pursuit can turn to passion for homeschooling.

“Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths.

Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive.”

~ Stacey Charter ~

You’ll also love these reads for New Homeschoolers:

Homeschool Confession - My Homeschool Mistakes @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Deschool – Get off the Public School Treadmill!

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Deschool get off the public school treadmill is about freedom. Also, you’ll love more tips on my page The Dynamics of How to Homeschool Easily and Smarter.

When teaching my new homeschooler workshops in person, I tried to use the term deschool right away so that new homeschoolers or those that are thinking about homeschooling have time to wrap their mind around the concept.

Though there are many facets about deschooling that you will want to embrace over the course of your journey, I want to put it down in layman’s terms for the new homeschoolers.

Deschool - Get Off the Public School Treadmill @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Running and burning energy but not really traveling anywhere is what it is like to be on a treadmill.

Are Deschooling and Unschooling Two Very Different Terms

Deschooling is about getting off that public school treadmill and transitioning to a new life.

For some homeschoolers it may include some rest time.

For others it may be defining what their family educational goals are.

Each family will have different goals during their deschooling period.

Have you ever done a toxin cleanse?  I love the feeling afterwards because I have a new pep in my step.

Deschooling is a period of time to shove back from rigid thinking and adjust the pep in your step to a new way of life.

That is how some homeschoolers define this time period.

More Resources for Why My Kids Are Homeschooled

This time period allows you to re-train your mind and body and to make drastic life changes.

You want to make changes that will be permanent and to start fresh and motivated.

Letting go of preconceived ideas and notions of what education is suppose to look like and defining what you want your children to learn is what deschooling is about too.

It is a time to adopt your definition of education, to discover that you may want to be more self-educated than to be handed curricula, to join home school support groups, to meet and incorporate new homeschooling friends into your lives and the ability and power to say no to labels.

Say NO to Uniform Standards Set for the Masses

Furthermore, it could include saying no to standards by the state.

Why spend so much time trying to figure out where your child is SUPPOSE to be and what other children his age are doing? 

Forget what everybody else is doing.

Spend your time and energy focusing on where your child is NOW and move forward!

Deschooling is knowing that we have homeschool freedom but it’s also utilizing that freedom to suit our family.

Some think deschooling means doing nothing. It might for some. 

And we don’t want to be critical of those families who may need physical rest now.

The rigors of getting up early to catch a bus, having long school days complicated with an enormous amount of homework is physically draining. 

The truth of it is that we really don’t know what another homeschool family has been through.

For all of us it does mean transitioning to a new lifestyle.

Think about huge transitions in your life up until this point. 

When we transition to a different lifestyle whether that significant change was having a baby or switching careers, our schedules changed.

We allowed ourselves time to adjust to a new schedule and we let go of ideas and goals that at the time seem realistic.

We now see that some of our ideas may have been idealistic.

It is quite common for even seasoned veterans to not have taken a period of deschooling and they may be headed down burnout road.

The Power of REST

Deschooling can be a period of few week to a few months depending on the level of stress your family experienced.

Take time to deschool and get off the public school treadmill.

One of the very best books to bring reality back to our lives, renew your passion for homeschooling or just to propel you forward on the road to homeschooling is Deschooling Gently.

Not only is it a great read, but the encouragement you receive from it will last years.

Have you let go? How is your deschooling coming? What activities and goals are you including to deschool?

The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Like a lot of new homeschoolers, I too just copied the public school system in everything from keeping a similar schedule, to curriculum selection, and even testing my first child, Mr. Senior 2013.

Public School at Home

You see, I was doing public school at home.

I hadn’t embraced the freedom that homeschooling offered. I was afraid.

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to lesson plan, to teach all of my children at one time, that my children were going to be behind, that I needed testing for grade placement, that my kids need other children their age and that I would totally fail them as an educator.

The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home. Understanding the two COMPLETELY different approaches is key by Tina Robertson

Did I mention I even had feelings of guilt questioning myself if I was a good mother?

Why do we do that as moms?

I agree that today is so much more easier to homeschool because of all the resources available to us.

However, in one particular way homeschooling was easier way back when because homeschoolers then grasped the full meaning of homeschooling.

About 10 years or so ago, public school at home providers popped up and became popular.

The meaning of homeschooling has become obscured because these companies tout that they support homeschooling. They may or may not.

Can You Really Have One Foot in Homeschool and One in Public School?

Until you let go of the public school at home mentality which models everything after the public school and where you are only assisting your children at home while somebody else teaches them, you will never embrace the freedom homeschooling offers.

Public School at Home Characteristics

  • biggest difference – government controlled
  • normally offered online
  • have testing required
  • have parent and teacher conferences
  • maintain a public school schedule
  • curriculum is put together by educational consultants even though public school at home touts that you as the parent choose readers or have some choice. You may or may not.
  • can be accredited
  • tout they are free because they are public school and public school is free
  • have a teacher assigned to your child
  • a curriculum is one grade level straight across the board a/k/a boxed curriculum or one size fits all.
  • mostly uses textbooks. Some online school use only textbooks while others throw in a few classical readers.
  • schedule is set up to complete on their timetable. Though many programs offer flexibility because they are government controlled, schedules have to be maintained.

If this sounds like the arrangement you just left, then why would you want to repeat it at home?

Homeschool Characteristics

  • biggest difference – parent controlled
  • you can choose all online curriculum, part physical books or mix and match
  • testing becomes the right of the parent who knows the child best and understands that a test is nothing more than a tool
  • conferences are not needed because as the tutor of your children you know what they’re learning. Even if you just begin to homeschool, it doesn’t take long for you to know exactly which subjects your child excels in and which subjects he will need support for.
  • your schedule is adopted based on your family’s needs and not based on an outdated school schedule, which was set up based on a society that was much more agricultural than our society is today.  If schooling year round suits your family, you simply begin and don’t need approval by a governmental agency.
  • curriculum is put together by a parent because she knows the child the best. If the curriculum is not working, it can be changed on a dime. Being in control doesn’t mean you can’t use something laid out by another company, but then that is your choice.
  • accreditation is no longer a term which homeschoolers fear because they know it doesn’t have anything to do with the value of an education. Be sure to read my article, Accreditation – Removing the Shroud of Mystery.
  • homeschoolers know that public school at home is not free. It may be cost-free, but given up freedom like control, having stressful deadlines for testing and parent teacher conferences cost.  Many homeschool educuators give up well-paying jobs because their desire to stay home with their kids is greater than their desire to pursue a career they may even be passionate about.  They know that homeschooling for excellence doesn’t always mean having the most expensive curriculum though they are willing to sacrifice other things if a pricier curriculum is better. Be sure to read my article, Is Homeschooling Expensive? Check out this Essential Guide in How to Homeschool Well on a Budget.
  • children are tutored one-to-one by their parents. Reports show that parents play a major role in their child having above normal intelligence when tutored.
  • the parent stays in control of whether they should purchase a grade level in a box or mix and match grade levels adjusted to the child’s natural abilities.
  • homeschool families don’t have to settle for a few well placed classical or living books placed into a curriculum, but can choose living books consistently.
  • the homeschool schedule is completely flexible to adjust to the needs of the family each year.

There is not anything that the public school at home approaches offers that an informed and hardworking educator at home can’t overcome.

If it’s structure you crave, then choose a laid out program where you are not having constant interference from an outside source.

If you need a more budget friendly curriculum be sure to check out my post Digital Homeschool Curriculum – Big Ol’ List.

Pursuing sports, music, art or any other extra curricular involvement is done easier when you set up your schedule to fit your children’s passion.

Being in control of my children’s education is one of the most satisfying and fulfilling jobs as a mother and parent I ever could have.

We were never promised it would be easy in raising our children, but they are blessings.

What we are assured of is that we will be provided with what we need to aim our children at their targets.

I have been blessed over and over many times, but not without some tears shed, lots of elbow grease, lots of prayers and a dogged determination to stick to what is best for my family. You can too!

Don’t forget so easily what many homeschoolers who homeschooled in the past knew, which is that homeschooling is a precious and extraordinary way of education that doesn’t mix with any other approach.

Look at some of these other resources that will help you to stick to the homeschooling approach.

Hugs and love ya,

The Great Homeschool Hoax - Public School at Home @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus