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6 Things I Won’t Regret After Homeschooling 16+ Years

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6 Things I WON'T Regret After 16+ Years of Homeschooling. Don't give up because in the end it's all worth it @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

If this post, 6 things I won’t regret after homeschooling for 16+ years helps you to make even one tiny step toward homeschool progress today, then it’s well worth it.

Each day can seem to make unplanned demands on our time.

And some days it’s difficult to say the least to decide when to let things go like the house or to not school for the day.

Homeschooling has never disappointed me though I have been disappointed in my own attempts to homeschool at one time or another.

6 Things I Won’t Regret After Homeschooling 16+ Years

Here is what I won’t regret when I faced giants though not always feeling so brave and not always having it together each day.

■ I don’t regret letting go of the thinking that homeschool was something we did on the side and that it was a burden that I added to my day.

For the first five years or so of homeschooling, I really had to fight to carve out our time for homeschool.

Some days I just didn’t feel like the homeschool routine. I had to give myself permission to feel weak at times.

It’s not that we had so much going on all the time, but looking back now what I didn’t realize was that I was building lifelong habits of study. It was hard work.

It was different doing a research project with the kids or even reading to them, but I am talking about enforcing a general start time to each and every day so we could be productive.

It took a lot of energy to form my sons’ habits, but what a payoff I was in store for as they hit middle and high school grades.

My kids were and are the ones now getting off their devices, or cleaning up their messes in the morning so they can start school at 9:00 a.m.

Did I mention, I just follow along now as the boys get our day started?

■ Call me Bible thumping or weird, but I don’t regret one minute of all the time we spent with just fellow Christian homeschoolers at field trips and in co-ops.

Our field trips and co-ops were a time to share the highs and lows about homeschooling with others that were not going to judge me.

And no, I didn’t want to vent to somebody who just thinks that they know what I am talking about when it comes to living the homeschool lifestyle.

■I don’t regret not immersing my boys into association with those who went to public school.

My oldest two boys are confident, strong and determined young men now. And capable of making decisions apart from me.

I didn’t deliberately keep them apart from public schooled kids, it just happened naturally.

Too, I don’t want my sons judging other people for choices they make. Don’t we have enough of that in the world? Public school was just not for us.

However, as you homeschool longer, you appreciate too your schedule is not in sync with the schedule of public school.

Through the many years, I have heard new homeschoolers say it’s important for their children to keep their friends from school.

It really is hard to do that and a lot of it depends on how long your kids went to public school.

As homeschool families, we are not really being off-ish. We just live a completely different life and it’s not running parallel to public school.

For my boys, it wasn’t necessary that they huddle in the evening with the neighbor kids to hang out.

We already went to field trips or co-ops during the day. Evening time was naturally spent with Dad when he got back from work.

■I don’t regret exposing my sons to my vulnerabilities as the teacher.

My boys are not robots of me and neither do they have an overly inflated view of me or my teaching.

I want you to know this because, sad to say, some homeschool parents aren’t homeschooling because it’s the best thing for their children.

Instead of keeping what is best for their children as the foundation of their homeschool, homeschooling can turn into a prove-that-I can-quest.

The mindset what-can-I-do-to-top-your-teaching-method can invade the body of a homeschool mom and she can turn into somebody that she doesn’t even know herself.

Homeschooling becomes a competition instead of a course. Ugly.

The child does get left behind (pardon the cliche) because we can set out to prove that the method we feel is the best is the best.

I learned early on that what worked for me and what worked for my sons were completely different. Look at my article, 5 Signs That You Need to Switch Your Homeschool Approach.

Jumping head first into a teaching style that was opposite of the way I thought I should teach, I showed my boys that homeschooling was about them.

Exposing the Vulnerable Side to Homeschooling

They appreciated that I too struggled and it made me a much more sympathetic teacher with them when they struggled.

■ I’ll never regret using a boxed curriculum when I needed to.

Through the years, I have read many pros and cons about boxed curriculum.

Boxed curriculum can get a bum rap because when it’s first used some homeschoolers don’t use it like they need for their family.

Teaching a child is not an exact science for each child and the boxed curriculum doesn’t really teach anything. You learn that you are homeschooling a child.

However, with the many ups and downs in homeschooling, it has been a breath of fresh air to use laid out curriculum and pick and choose which assignments we will do, which ones we will skip and which ones we will tweak.

By the way, that is how you used a boxed curriculum.

I have no regrets in using all that is available to us as homeschoolers.

■And I will never, never regret all the teachable moments we have had so far together while letting the housework and laundry go.

When I shared this poem below each year at my workshop, I could hardly finish reading it because I couldn’t get through the words without tears or a cracking voice.

It’s hard for me to share it with you today because it reminds me of how fast our journey has gone by.

Homeschool Survivor or Champion?

It has come true in my case because I no longer have babies.

So I want to encourage you to remember that you don’t have long to homeschool. And in the end it is about having no regrets.

Babies Don’t Keep

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

What will you not regret at the end of your journey? (And yes, I do have tears when I read that poem each year.)

Grab some more go juice below!

Hugs and you know I love ya,

When a Homeschooled Sophomore Struggles

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What is it about the second year in high school that makes a homeschooled sophomore struggle?

When Mr. Senior 2013 was a sophomore I thought it was the devastating news of my husband’s heart attack that knocked us off course, but no it wasn’t altogether just that. When Mr. Awesome 2015 was a sophomore we were bouncing along just fine or so I thought. He too had the sophomore tussle.

Looking back now, I see with both of my older sons that there was just an itch in the sophomore year that they both had to get past.

I learned a few things about helping them past this middle hump in their high school years.

  • The sophomore year is a time to re-plan.

Part of the problem in the sophomore year was that what we started off using for curriculum in the freshman year was not a good match now for both of my boys.

For example, Mr. Senior 2013 wanted to be introduced to Mandarin Chinese and was not interested in Spanish that I so hoped he would lap up.

When a Homeschooled Sophomore Struggles

Mr. Awesome 2015 wasn’t interested in any foreign language study at all, but wanted more focus on computers.

When a Homeschooled Sophomore Struggles

Adjusting to fit their growing academic strengths was a must.

Letting go of what I had planned for all four years was necessary because they were coming into their own persons.

  • They wrestled with the slump of hormones.

Some days they were on top of the world, other days they felt overwhelmed.

Boys and girls both deal with not only the changes in the brain, but with their body needing more rest.

I was surprised at how much sleep they needed, but also equally surprised that they could go through their day pretty quickly and focus when they had to.

Listening to them when they talked to me about their stress of getting their work done for the day, I had to decipher when they just felt the pressure of pending adulthood and when they really needed input on switching around their day.

  • Adding extra curricular activities had to be analyzed.

At first, I thought the solution was to let go of things they enjoyed like ball room dancing and piano, but I am glad I didn’t so easily cave when they told me they were overwhelmed.

Isolating the problem wasn’t easy either because sometimes they weren’t quite sure what didn’t feel right.

The solution wasn’t limiting their physical activity or the social interaction.

Activities with other teens wasn’t something they didn’t just look forward to, but was a huge motivator in the week for getting their school done.

Balance was not easy because academics are such a heavy load in high school, but paramount to a sophomore too is a change of pace for the week and something to look forward to each week.

I realized that some of the math that Mr. Senior 2013 was doing, he was flying through and so he cut back some of the lessons to move  on to something more challenging.

Conversation with a Homeschooled Teen is An Art

  • I wasn’t having no stranger in my house.

As your teen starts driving, having a job and spending more time away from you, which too is normal and preparation for adulthood, that is the time they need you the most.

Talking with my frustrated teens took not only patience, but it seemed like some decoding prowess on my part.

Meaningful conversations were the only way I knew that something was or was not working.

For example, Mr. Senior 2013 liked having the options to switch out curriculum mid-year and lounge around in his learning, but Mr. Awesome 2015 needed a clear cut plan because his plan was to finish as fast as he could get through high school.

Not having the choices to switch mid-year stressed Mr. Senior 2013 and have too many academic choices with no clear cut end in sight was a stress inducer for Mr. Awesome 2015.

Try to figure that one out over a year or two.

Homeschool High School

The point is I eventually figured out their budding personalities as it changed in the sophomore years.

Struggling for us seems easier to take at times than it does for our children. And to us, our teens still feel like little children, but I learned that when my teens coped with struggles it was part of the metamorphosis into adulthood.

They come out of a struggle with coping ability and the best thing of all is that they come out with a better understanding of who they are, which serves them well into adulthood.

Are you struggling with a homeschooled tenth grader this year?

Lastly, I hope these tips help you to not let them give up so easily and return to public school and don’t give up things they have a passion for either.

When a Homeschooled Sophomore Struggles

Read more tips below:

When a Homeschooled Sophomore Struggles @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Homeschool Pressure – When It Is PRICELESS a/k/a Homeschooling the Rebel

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

The homeschool world is teeming with negative pressure. And it seems we are constantly worried about doing everything ‘right’, but there is a time when homeschool pressure is priceless and positive.

I was thinking back to a mini unit study we did on diamonds. I was in awe of how some beauty is discovered, like a diamond, which is formed through intense heat and pressure.

The name diamond comes a Greek word adamas meaning unconquerable and whatever the complexities of how diamonds are formed, the end result is a precious and valued gem.

Homeschool Pressure - When It Is Priceless @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusAt the time of doing the unit study, I was homeschooling a strong-willed child, you know a rebel.

I learned a parenting technique from our everyday learning or unit study.

Not wanting to curb my rebel’s enthusiasm for doing things outside the box, I still had to strike a balance between what I would and would not accept when the little dear told me one day he wasn’t going to do his school.

Finding the line between rebellion and resistance is not easy because they can be very different.

I have never minded a child that disagreed with me or was resistant because it is a sign that he was testing the ability to make good decisions as he got older.

However, rebellion is quite different and I had to have sanctions.

A strong-willed child can be molded like a diamond as I learned. It required just the correct amount of heat and pressure.

Pressure can be a good thing for our children when applied correctly. This is not the same as forced learning which can ruin the natural love for learning.

Like a diamond, some natural pressure is necessary in order to achieve goals.

Along with the resistance to this pressure there is usually rebellion.

I had to learn to look past the nasty looks from my teen to find the root of the problem.

I am not saying overlook rebellion. I have learned to take a teen’s bedroom door off its hinges when needed.(yes don’t slam that door on me, )

I had to come up with a plan for a child that is defiant and strong-will.

Here are some tips that will and will not work.

  • As adults we all want a voice when it comes to determining what part of the day we want to do housework, do school, relax or just zone out.

Children are much the same.

Give them an ear to show you care and if you can, incorporate their suggestion into the day.

Too, no matter how much you may think it can’t be done, let them try.

Failure is a good teacher. But also, try to make their suggestions work. Show yourself a willing participant in their plan.

  • Expectations need to be clearly defined without resorting to losing your temper.

I have a son who tried to push the limits. One day he just decided that he was not going to do math.

He was not going to do it lying down, he was not going to do it sitting up, he was not going to do it outside, he was not going to do it inside. (okay, okay)

The advantage I have though as mom teacher is that I know when he is feeling bad and when he is copping an attitude. That day, it was attitude because he decided he wasn’t going to do it. And he didn’t during school hours.

I had to think how to handle this rebellion because one quick-tempered child to one quick-tempered mother does not a good combination make and I knew it.

So my expectations were very clear that he was doing his math. I told him he was going to do it and I did it without resorting to threats or hollering.

At the end of the school day and because it was Friday, we were on our way into the living room to watch a movie and have ice cream.

When he showed up to be with us, guess what he could not do?

And because I knew movies and ice cream were the “object of his affection”, I just withheld them.

Did I mention how calm I was as as his sweet, little precious nostrils flared out and blew steam?

He got the message and completed his math in 20 minutes, which had been a tug of war for the whole day.

This type of personality needs very CLEAR expectations and then FOLLOW THROUGH on consequences. I learned a valuable lesson too.

  • What will not work is argumentative words.

This type of personality thrives in an environment where he is waiting to debate with you. Just-dare-me can be their motto at times.

Be reasonable and calm, yes hard to do, but think about your other children looking on.

This strong-will child just needs boundaries and will push them and test them.

Defiant, willful, rebellious and confrontational are a few traits of this type of child. This is only what is displayed on the outside.

If we examine our child closer, we see that the inside person can be different if we give a lot of tender and sometimes tough love.

Unlike the diamond, I am not looking to conquer him or break his spirit.

A strong spirit can set him apart from others and when channeled, he can rise up as a strong fierce leader.

Negative traits can be guided to determined, willing and respectful traits.

Value, nurture, guide and be determined to polish your priceless gem in the making.

I thought about this quote when it comes to what it really takes to homeschool a willful and defiant child.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

What about you? Do you have a precious gem you are raising?

I am here to tell you as a young man now, my ‘rebel’ is fiercely determined and resolute when he sets out to do something and yes, he listens to me too.

I love that rebel turn spirited and passionate person he is today.

Hugs and love ya,

Tina Signature 2015c

 

 

Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Second Chance Homeschooling

Taking Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten after putting him in for Kindergarten at the beginning of the year, I knew I had a second chance for homeschooling.

If you are struggling with gearing back up for the school year, I want to share a few pointers that helped me to plod along.

I believe in second chances and do-overs in homeschooling.

Second Chance Homescholing. We can have them. @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

There are so many things in life that we can’t do over, but homeschooling is not one of them.

If you didn’t get covered what you wanted to last year, make it a priority this year. Priority means first. You get a second chance.

New Beginnings

If you are sheepishly returning to homeschool because putting your children back in public or private school didn’t work, don’t pick up where you left off.

Determine first if it was the homeschool or because life happened that made you return to public school.

If you just pick up where you left off without examining what was the stress inducer, you could be setting yourself up for another disappointment.

Hear my heart on this next point.

3 Important Truths To Remember When Beginning AGAIN

We read so much about leaving guilt at the door, but not enough about analyzing it. If we had no feelings of guilt, what kind of mom would we be? Would we even be viewed as human?

Having feelings of guilt means that we are aware of our weaknesses and we realize there is a standard.

I feel this way when I can’t live up to God’s standards. It keeps me aware of my weaknesses and that there is a standard I desire to live by. I strive to do better next time.

Balance is required though because we can’t get that confused with trying to be a perfectionist homeschooler.

Are our feelings of guilt because we couldn’t marry our expectations of unrealistic homeschooling with what we could actually do? Then that thinking needs to be left behind.

Analyzing but not constant agonizing over past mistakes keeps us balanced.

If we always tend to contemplate on how we are not doing enough in our day it can erode our homeschooling.

Erosion is a slow process and then we may sabotage our own homeschool because we give up.

Remember, these 3 key ways to get on a different path when you are beginning again.

 1. analyze guilt but don’t agonize over it;

2. don’t be confused between guilt feelings of trying to school by a higher standard and having perfectionist standards that nobody can meet. Good can come out of trying harder next time; and

3. avoid erosion which is constant wearing down.

If it is our thinking we need to change, if we need to join a support group, if we need to leave a support group or if we need minimal contact with naysayers, then take positive actions to do it now to keep your joy in homeschooling.

Each year negative things can take stabs at our every day joy. It’s hard for even the strongest homeschooler to not get wore down. So remove things that can make your homeschool backslide.

I do think that at the end of my homeschool journey that I might want a do over on something, but I won’t ever regret trying to make it right this year.

I was inspired by this quote today as I don’t want to let go of what I have learned from the past years.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.”

Hugs and love ya,

Also, check out these articles:

Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children?
3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator

It’s Tough To Start Back Over Again – But Well Worth It

When the Homeschooling Honeymoon is Over

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

My wedding ring was frozen in an ice cube and the ice cube was floating in a glass of champagne when the Mr. proposed to me.  And then there were the soft petals of my favorite rose strewn all over the walk way and into our room.

I have so many fond memories of my honeymoon, but quickly realized after marriage that a successful marriage requires a lot of hard work.

A Fresh Start in Homeschool?

It could not be one prolonged honeymoon.

Doing laundry, making a living, cooking meals, setting up a budget, questions like how to raise children that would come along and where we would live were decisions that as partners we had to make.

The scope of the work that was now involved was not easy, no matter how much I prepared my mind and heart.

Truly, the honeymoon was over.

When the Homeschooling Honeymoon Is Over @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Homeschooling is similar in a lot of ways.

We may have had some romantic notions that everything would work out and nothing would go wrong.

Too, we may not have realized the amount of work that is involved in homeschooling.

Perhaps we thought we would pick up where public school left off, but realize now we have to go over information that should have been previously mastered.

When a new bee begins to homeschool, I often think about the period of a couple’s honeymoon.

Before marriage, we can so conveniently overlook the faults of our mates. Whatever bad traits our mates have though can’t be hidden during the honeymoon period.

Though I do feel homeschooling is a perfect solution for the majority of families and there are no hidden faults, there are ones we create or foster because of our lack of experience.

For example, about three months or so into homeschooling, a new homeschooler may now start to question the choice to homeschool or the curriculum that she is using.

How to Go From Thinking to Doing

We may not be as in love with the idea of homeschooling because the day to day grind of reality sets in.

What can be done?

Like a marriage, homeschooling should not be based on idealistic infatuations but on genuine love, caring, devotion and facts.

Loyalty too is a virtue that is missing in so many marriages.

It mean sticking to something even in the face of tough times. Instead of looking at the negative attitudes your children may have developed while away from you, focus on what you want from your children.

Are you loyal to your children and the decision to homeschool?

Do not allow whatever disappointments you may have now in your family or children to keep you from going forward in what you desire your family to be. Work at it. Who is afraid of hard work anyway?

If you need to go back over some material not previously understood by your child, then that is where you are. Begin there and go forward.

Realize too that not every decision you made in the beginning when you started was a bad one also helps to maintain balance.

For example, if you feel like it’s your curricula that is not working out, give it another month instead of pitching that curricula and starting another. Check out Stop Switching Your Curriculum, Switch Your Course of Study.

Don’t start your journey off curriculum hopping. It’s hard to get off that path once you start down it.

It takes at least 3 months to know whether or not a curriculum is working. Remember, it could be something else that is not working right like a schedule or lack of teacher experience.

Give it time and reflect on what brought you to homeschooling.

The same blessings you want to receive are still there. They have to be accomplished with hard work now and not a drawn out honeymoon period.

Time is a precious commodity no matter the age of our child.

It requires time to have a friendship with our children if they are teenagers.

If they are younger, our time is needed to teach them to read, how to hold a pencil and how to pick up after themselves. How your child best learns and processes information may now be more clear to you.

Comparing and contrasting homeschooling approaches like Classical, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason and Unschooling is enough to make the head spin of any new homeschooling parent. Check out my articles on understanding the different homeschool approaches.

It all requires tedious work and time but successfully homeschooling IS a reachable goal.

Homeschooling, like a well established and loving marriage is built upon every tiny act of love and kindness.

I am glad that my honeymoon has been over for many, many years. Then, I could see the precious beauty of my husband’s inner person and the one very vital element to both a good marriage and successfully homeschooling – commitment!

You can do it!

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Tina Signature 2015c

Check Out My Top Reads for New Homeschoolers