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Homeschool When Nobody Wants To

When Homeschooled Kids Are Not Excited About Ordinary Days

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Hearing other homeschoolers say how excited their child is about a new unit study, a new curriculum or the new school year when you may feel your child is not can certainly make you feel alone.

Do you have a child that is only thinking about what is required so he can spend the rest of the day playing, on the computer or his device?

Facing head on potential road blocks in our homeschool journey like when homeschooled kids are not excited about ordinary days or about anything pertaining to learning is the way I always prefer to tackle hurdles but I didn’t always feel so confident.

Do you feel that homeschooling is like choosing  the lesser of two evils? You are in good company and not alone.
When I started homeschooling I had conjured up a vision that because my education lacked in many areas that my sons would be bright-eyed and eager to learn every day.

I was excited to learn about all of the things I never did in school, but also I was determined to make my sons’ experiences different than mine.
Back to reality, I have had many times when the only thought on my boys’ mind was when is school going to be done so they can get on the computer, turn on the game or eat the left over pizza in the refrigerator.

Guess what? That is why they are not in charge. Let me share a few of my coping techniques.

Whose job is this anyway?

Early on I made it clear to my sons that it is their job to learn even if I am the most boring teacher.

Just like I would be working on my teaching skills, I made sure my kids knew what their role was in homeschooling.
Don’t think that parents who pull their kids out of public school in which they may have had a bad experience are the only ones that deal with a spoon-fed mentality by kids.

Learning to learn is a process for our kids. It is cultivated and nurtured through time and experiences.
There are many days our kids want to just play mindless games and sit back while we spoon feed them.  They are really no different than us if we give in to that inner person or side of our personality that just doesn’t want to show up some days to teach.

The difference between our kids and us of course is not only age but the ability to see the disastrous results if we live our life or homeschool in a mindless way.

Like us, the first step in getting children infused with learning is to teach them that what they can control is to show up at school with a positive attitude.

I have found through the years that instead of putting down how they may feel about homeschooling, I give it merit or validate it.

When our children see that we too as adults have the same feelings at times, it not only makes them feel that they are not alone, but that they can share the negative side of homeschooling and not be chastised for it.

Communicating true feelings even when our homeschooling may be boring is a wake up reminder that we might need to change a few things.
Attitude is the first subtle change to making a difference in our learning and that is something that nobody else can control.

If my children are old enough to cop an attitude about learning, they are old enough to start understanding the disastrous results.

I find it is better to be frank, set boundary lines for learning and explain why you have them for your children than for them to think life is going to be about eating their favorite leftovers of cold pizza each day.

A lot of things in life are just about doing things that we find boring and mundane but we will show up.

“I am not an entertainment act.“

We carry a lot of guilt as moms and negative thinking can make inroads in our hearts.

It is hard to carry around the guilt that our day doesn’t look as exciting as another family’s day.

That clear cut line, in that your child knows your expectations, allows them to work on their positive attitude while you decide where you can make improvement.

While I am sharing secrets, did I tell you that my lapbooks and unit studies were born out of my desire to be a better teacher?

I use to think lapbooks where for only young children. I set a bar for myself, like I do for my sons and wanted my teaching and activities to be something that draws my sons to learning.

Sharing my unit studies and lapbooks allowed me to not only set a standard for the type of teacher I wanted to be but it also shoved deep down that tyrannical mother I could be when it came to learning.

I have learned to let go of the fact that it’s not my fault that some days are just well – routine.

Life and school are very similar because life is more about routine than life altering moments.

I have learned that from routine comes the tiny moments I cherish in homeschooling.

Teaching my sons to value routine was also the start of changing their attitude about learning when most people may think that routine is boring.

Establish a routine. 

We all have interruptions in our school.

It can be hard to break the habit of letting things that are nonessential take over our day and break our routine.

I feel all homeschoolers crave routine even though sometimes we don’t recognize our natural desire to have a flow to day that we can predict.

Following our body’s natural rhythm to sleep, eat and move around, we have that same desire to learn and be educated.

When my sons know what to expect each day and don’t wander around aimlessly asking what we are going to do each day, it makes for calm in my home.

Post a visual homeschool schedule if your children are young or post a class schedule in their notebooks if your children are older.

Help them to get started on time by not having so much chaos in the house that it is distracting to their routine.

I still find everything fascinating about learning but more importantly I find happiness in being passionate about teaching my sons.

Enthusiasm is contagious and it starts with you, not them.

It doesn’t mean we don’t require a positive attitude when our children show up for learning, but it means we model the type of adults we want our children to eventually be.

Weaved into that attitude is the reason we are excited about showing up each day to homeschool.

I don’t believe the only reason we should be eager learners is to get a good paying job or to go to college but for the gift of curiosity.
Curiosity has sticking power unlike any career or any college degree.

I have also  learned that it is my job to try to make each day a little better than the next day.
Because I can’t sing, dance or draw my sons will have to accept I will do my best to teach and I will accept that they will do their best to show up for days that are just ordinary.

How about you? Are most of your days just ordinary?

Hugs and love ya,

Check out these other tips!

How To Fake Homeschooling

Biggest Challenges to Homeschooling

Easy Ways to Break Out of a Homeschool Rut

Helping our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We are Not Sure We Have It

When Homeschooling is a Mistake

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I thought homeschooling was a mistake when I put Mr. Senior 2013 in public school Kindergarten.

Teaching him his colors and numbers at 3 years old seemed easier at the time than homeschooling him at the beginning of Kindergarten. I chuckle now many years later, but it was not laughable then.

I learned that no matter what grade I was homeschooling, my homeschool conviction can only burn bright if I fueled it.

Running on empty is a common homeschool mistake. I made that mistake too. 

When Homeschooling is a Mistake

I didn’t take time to cement my foundational goals and to ask myself burning questions like: what is it about homeschooling that lights me up or, why is homeschooling the best choice for my family.

You can’t skip ahead and choose curriculum, begin your homeschool journey, continue your journey year after year, or call yourself a homeschooler if you don’t take time to polish up your vision.

It really matters because otherwise, like me, you may react to your feelings of being inadequate and return your children to public school without good reason.

I want to make something clear too because the last thing any of us needs is another homeschool post that rants about homeschooling at all costs.

It’s one thing to not have the circumstances presently to live on one income, have health problems or other significant things that prevent you from homeschooling and quite another to completely abandon the homeschool lifestyle because we didn’t take time to get a dose of reality in the beginning.

New Homeschooler

There really is no magical formula to keep going in homeschooling, it’s just plain hard work.

I learned it just didn’t come together without some effort on my part.

Each year, these 3 points are essential to me embracing another year of homeschooling.

  • Recommit.  What works for me is both a combination of personal prayer and writing down my feelings in plain view for me to reflect on later.

Personal feelings are just that which means a time to reflect on progress.  Part of this time for you could be goal setting for things that you want to see fulfilled for the next year.

For me, I tend to keep goal setting separate.  When I recommit, it means taking time to pour out my feelings and thought on paper until they overflow. They don’t have to make sense, they just need to be on paper instead of all floating around in my mind.

Sure, it sounds emotional and it is.  Homeschooling is a personal attachment to a life-long lifestyle and part of that is reflecting on the positive and awesome part of homeschooling.

The flip side is reflecting on what you are finding hard to cope with and deciding on what you will compromise on.

  • Compromise. Through that writing and sharing in my personal journal, I basically commit again.  But, it does not come without compromising and letting go of how I thought my year would turn out.

For example, this year, I am using an online school for Mr. Awesome for part of his high school courses.  This was something that I never even considered with Mr. Senior 2013 in high school.

Wrapping up my personal reflection this year, I have had to compromise to keep homeschooling because my circumstances for homeschooling have changed.  The Mr.’s health suffered and so more of my time was required in our business.

New to Homeschool

On the positive side, we wanted to homeschool overseas as a family and experience that adventure.  I have come to grips with the fact that each of my son’s homeschooling journey can be different.

A different path for Mr. Awesome is just as enriching because of his unique experiences for learning here in South America unlike Mr. Senior’s journey in the states.

Compromising is an art, but better yet it is a must for staying the homeschooling course.

  • Recharge & Refuel.  After you sort out what you will compromise on to keep homeschooling, then you need to recharge your energy for homeschooling.  Simple things motivate me and one of them is reading.

Something about curling up with a book, homeschool magazine or even curriculum catalog that I have not had time to pore over rejuvenates my personal homeschooling spirit.

Other homeschoolers need to do more physical activity and still others may need to step back completely from homeschooling.  I find too that a combination of physical activity and a mental break renews my empty spirit.

I have made many mistakes in my homeschooling journey.  But, I have also done some things right since pulling Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten many years ago.

I returned to homeschooling and I’ll never give up homeschooling so easily again, no matter how painful.  It has been worth every tear shed and sleepless night.

When Homeschooling is a Mistake

By turning inward and recommitting on a personal and emotional level of attachment, learning the art of compromise by giving a little to get a lot, and nurturing or refueling your homeschooling spirit, which may be dwindling, you can keep the forward momentum in homeschooling.

Besides a new year always means do-overs and second chances.  What do you do when you feel homeschooling is a mistake?

Other New Homeschooler Tips and Helps:

Cultivating the Desire to Homeschool

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

You’ve probably come across the type before. Those homeschoolers that knew always that they were going to homeschool and they knew before their first child was conceived.

However, if you are one of those that just fell into homeschooling or came to it kicking and screaming, then cultivating the desire to homeschool has probably been a learned art for you.

Whether you always had the desire to homeschool or hopped on board later, we all need to rekindle and cultivate the desire to homeschool so we can foster our growth.

Let’s just face it too, the world we live in today doesn’t engender finding tranquil moments in our day to ponder our desire to homeschool and fill up our reserve.

On the other hand, each day that we homeschool can empty us of our eagerness to keep on homeschooling.

It’s essential to maintaining the pace of homeschooling to tap into homeschool resources that will stir you to action and to avoid certain mind-sets.

Avoid the Weight of Burdensome Negativity.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemies because we have a set standard unreachably high for either us or our children.

For example, do you need to adjust the time that you begin school so that you have time to get more house chores done, or just to soak up more time in the morning to wake up?

Between me and you, I had several days early in my journey where I missed taking a shower and skipped breakfast because my schedule said it was time to start. Why do we do that to ourselves?

I never did get any homeschooling mom of the year trophy award either.

What I did learn was that day in and day out schooling at a grueling pace only sets a homeschooler up for burn out.

The end of the journey is all that matters. Mr. Senior 2013 remembers more about the quiet moments we had at home together doing simple things like reading aloud and playing board games than he did large homeschool projects where we were all stressed out.

Maybe you feel your child is not progressing as fast some other homeschool children that you know.

Could your child be at a learning plateau or is he getting enough rest and exercise?  Look at The Dos and Don’ts When You Hit A Learning Plateau in Homeschooling.

Change Your Homeschool Approach.  I changed my homeschool approach three times until I found one that suited my children and my teaching style.

When we are fighting a switch to a new homeschool approach, it can have devastating effects on our desire to continue homeschooling.

Look at Stop Switching Your Curriculum, Switch Your Course of Study.  I use to think if only I can change my teaching methods at the end of the year that it would be less stressful.

What I finally realized was that like a parched and sun scorched plant that is drying up and shriveling, my children’s love of learning was the same way.

I needed to take quick action to inject a love of learning by changing either my approach, curriculum or schedule.

Just Can’t Avoid it – You Need Other Homeschoolers. Before I formed our co-op and field trip group, I use to think I was too busy to be meeting with other homeschoolers.  Ask me now about how I feel and I cringe about my thinking then because homeschooling and meeting with other homeschoolers are inextricably linked to homeschooling staying power.

When you are tired with several small children, it’s hard to see how fellowship with people you barely know will help you. It just seems like one more energy zapping exercise.

And to make matters worse, if your personality is like mine where you are perfectly happy with just your inner circle of friends, it can be hard to overcome the thinking that you are just fine.

But what I have learned is that the homeschooling spirit is contagious when you have a crowd around.  Instead of draining your time of one more lack luster thing to do, interacting and sharing tips, techniques, and venting about the the ups and downs of homeschooling with other homeschooling families bolsters our desire to keep on homeschooling.

Not only are we encouraged to keep on homeschooling, but we meet other families who have similar circumstances as our own.

Some of the most significant homeschooling changes that I have had the conviction to do came directly after mingling with experienced homeschool moms.

Stoke the embers of homeschooling by fueling the desire to homeschool through being consistent each day and being quick to take advantage of opportunities to be encouraged by other homeschoolers.

The end will be here before you know it.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

To go from exhausted to exhilarated, look at these posts:

The 3 R’s for Homeschoolers. Part 3

5 Ideas to Kick-Start Your New Homeschool Year By Including Others

Easy Ways to Break Out of a Homeschool Rut

Have You Learned the Secret to Homeschool Joy?

Look at some of these homeschooling books that will stir you to action!

Making Each Day Count When Homeschooling

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Beginning the journey of a lifetime when starting to homeschool, we seem to have superhuman strength and a dogged determination.  But then, each new year rolls around and we are faced with making each day count when homeschooling.
It’s not the starting homeschooling that makes us feel defeated, but it’s the constant stopping and starting throughout the year that is sabotaging a school day.

Some things are out of our control like a sick baby, a sick momma and sometimes dad’s crazy work schedule that throws us off our pace.

Let’s not beat ourselves up over things that we can’t control, but sometimes even those days are not a complete loss in making some headway for the day.

Don’t Put It Off to the Future

Homeschooling with Challenges.  One of the things that held me back from attempting to cover something for the day was to realize that perfect circumstances don’t really exist.

Waiting for the perfect day to happen, I missed out on seizing challenging moments because I couldn’t do everything in my curriculum planner.  I felt I was doing half-hearted homeschooling.

Accepting what I could do for the day when a circumstance threatened the day would have caused a few less bitter homeschooling days for me.

Accepting the Circumstances.  When my idea of what a homeschooling day should look like and reality collided, I see that I could have adjusted more easily if I had just simply accepted the change.  This is hard to do for a scheduler type of personality.

For example, when my husband worked a crazy work schedule or had to be out of town for a long period of time, I could have simply had a read aloud day.  That would have been the perfect time to catch up on some reading.

When both the kids and I were tired trying to keep up with my husband’s changing work schedule, we could have slept in and planned a field trip for the day.

Meeting the Challenge

Avoid All or Nothing Days.  Another key to not completely stopping and then starting up again is to lose the mind-set that each day has to be an all or nothing day.

If your personality is more laid back and you are a respond to the moment teacher, then you may have an easier time accepting changing circumstances.  Again, because I like to plan, it was harder for me to accept those things out of my control.

Looking back now, though you can’t see it at the time, I was my own worst enemy.  It’s just that you realize that being organized allows us to make good use of our time.

However, setting unrealistic expectations and not accepting the present moment sets you up for burnout too and homeschool disillusionment.  It’s that feeling of being disappointed because we think homeschooling is not as good as thought it was.

Soon we may regret homeschooling and that is where the bitter homeschool days come in.  As you can see, if we don’t accept what we can’t control, it can have devastating results.

Homeschooling When Sick.  I think the hardest times, once I determined that my days were not a complete loss when something unplanned came up, are homeschooling through sicknesses.

When I had more than one child sick, then I called off school. But I have found that when one child is sick or if I am sick that homeschooling for the day was a relief.
Having activities lined up for sick days beforehand is essential.

Back before Netflix (I am not real ancient I promise), I would buy tapes about history or science at the homeschool conventions. Too, I would look for museum quality educational coloring books like Edupress or Dover and buy board games.

Special art projects and art supplies were also part of my arsenal that I stocked up on.
But I would hold all of them back, in what I call my Mary Poppins bag only to pull them out when I needed them throughout the year. Keeping all the goodies a surprise from the kids is key to them being something that will keep their attention for the day when you need it most.

As soon as I purchased those things, I would hide them and put them away when the kids were occupied.  It’s sounds crazy, but it’s almost like they looked forward to the days when I was sick because they would get something new.
One year at the end of summer, I stocked up on games that were meant to be played inside during the long hot summer months. Of course that is not the reason I bought them.

For example, I bought an indoor mini croquet set.  All of the pieces, the balls, mallets and stakes were lightweight and made to be played indoors. When I had morning sickness when pregnant with my third son, I pulled the set out for my two sons and they played indoors while I was hanging out in the bathroom.

They had no idea they didn’t miss a day on strengthening their gross motor skills and I got my much needed rest.

Buying a pail and shovel at the end of summer that is suppose to be used at the beach made for great indoor play in a plastic pool that I filled with rice, beans or indoor sand during the winter.

Your imagination is the only limit to creating hangouts at your house when you need them.

Taking the kids to the park to study so the Mr. could have the house quiet to sleep in are some of my fondest memories of them when they were little.

Of course grabbing some of their favorite food at the time like hotdogs, which we ate on special occasions made it more special too.

Seasons of Adventure

Now with iPads and tablets, finding an activity is much easier.

I still prefer activities, like board games, where my children have to interact with each other instead of an iPad.  But it’s a relief to have options from our iPad too because you can purchase board game apps, like Monopoly for a group to play too.

Though it took me a while to expect the unexpected, some of our best homeschool moments of learning were ones that I have not planned. I learned that the constant stopping and starting was sabotaging my teaching efforts.

And despite what I thought at the time, I could push on through the interruptions. Besides, I would have missed out some of our fondest memories so far in homeschooling.

Don’t pass up the opportunity to make each day special in homeschooling, you won’t regret it.

Hugs and love ya,

Keep on Going!! Check out some more tips!

How To Fake Homeschooling

Biggest Challenges to Homeschooling

Looking Back To Stretch Forward.

Helping our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We are Not Sure We Have It

40 Reasons I Homeschool

 

Helping our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We are Not Sure We Have It

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

When and how to allow children to exert their independence can be a controversial one, but helping our homeschool children find their inner drive when we are not sure we have it is something that all of us ending up facing at one time or another.

Homeschooling for me means being real even at times when I may not want to talk about certain things. 

One of those things I question myself about is I’m a hovering homeschool mom.

Like anybody else, on my good days, I have the snap to be sure we are starting our day off right. But today, I want to share some tips for when you don’t have the drive to homeschool.

Is it fair that we expect our children to carry on because of their inner drive when we don’t have it? ABSOLUTELY!  I’ll explain in a minute.

Does Micro Managing Mean No Supervision?

Thinking back to when my sons were babies, mischief knew no bounds.  They had a fearless attitude about investigating everything they wanted to.  It is more like a reckless determination they have when they are babies. 

Then it happens. They get “trained” and somehow, if we are not careful, we can introduce to them negative views about the way they are suppose to learn. 

Loosely translated here that normally means on our time table, on our schedule and in the place in the house we normally think it is better to learn.

We confuse accountability with scrutiny. 

Micro managing does nothing but squeeze out every bit of delight for learning that a child is naturally born with. 

We want to feed our child’s inner drive and allow them to be independent to the extent that we can.

One way to be sure you have a child that is totally dependent on you for his homeschool journey is to plan every subject for him instead of with him. 

What I am saying is that an inner drive for any person and especially our children is connected with a measure of independence. Sometimes though finding the line between helping and hovering is not so easy.

Helping Our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We Are Not Sure We Have It at Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

It makes complete sense that we should expect our kids to carry on with pursuing their dreams and goals because we are raising them to be independent adults. 

This starts from the smallest act they should be doing on their own. It starts with self-motivation to begin their homeschool day.

Feeding their inner drive is a gradual process based on tiny little decisions they get to make each day.

When kids are young, include them in choosing topics they want to study about. It also could mean transitioning them to an assignment sheet for the day. 

As they grow older, it means giving them goals for the week and letting them meet those goals without our constant “helping” hovering.

Many days because of being tired I questioned my method of education.  On days when I was at my weakest, my sons were thriving because of the freedom they have had each day to foster their self-motivation.

I hope these 3 tips help you on days that your get-up-and-go didn’t even show up for the day. 

These tips helped me to remember that the effects of my training them was still ongoing.

1)  Allow our kids to make decisions as much as possible now.  Thinking ability is something that is learned, not passed on.  When then should we start loosening the reins of control?  Well, for each of my sons it has been different.

It is not so much a determined age as it is a gradual process. 

As I mentioned before it starts off small in the younger years and it could mean providing a place for them to put away their books for the day, assigning them chores and explaining the expectations of whatever assignment they have and then walking away to allow them to do it on their own.

As my sons have grown older, it has mean allowing them to visit customers at their home with my husband’s supervision as they have helped to run our family owned business. 

There has been ample opportunity for them to make decisions homeschool related, life related, or otherwise.

When they make their own decisions and it clearly starts with their homeschooling choices, then for whatever reason you may be lagging behind in your motivation, they will keep pushing through for the fact that it is their decision. 

Inner drive is about being motivated for the right reasons.

2.) Clear Consequences.  Constant worry about whether they will get their school work done constantly wears you out only.  Failure has been the best teacher for my boys.

It is only natural as a parent that I want to protect my sons.  But when they have made some stupid decisions or even said stupid things, clear cut consequences have made lasting impressions. 

Motivating Homeschooled Kids

It is not an attack on your parenting when you allow your children to learn from their mistakes, but a credit to it.

Earlier I talked about setting goals with each of your children.  At first when they are little, it is about a goal for a subject or for the day. 

As they grow older, it is about setting goals for a week or even a longer period. 

The very basics of setting any goal is clear cut expectations and clear cut consequences.  They go hand in hand. 

You need to understand from them when the work is expected to be done and they need to understand from you what will happen when it is not done.  I find that works way better than me constantly asking them about when their work is complete.

As adults, we like to work on tasks at times good for us.  We feed our inner drive through the freedom to choose tasks when and how we want to do them. 

Children are in training and adolescents are “adults in training”, so it is no different for them.  There is no need to have continual conflict in my home when school is not done.

Clear cut consequences for their lack of follow through is the best teacher.  Even at times when I have been embarrassed by their actions, I have not hidden it or justified to another homeschooling family if any of sons’ actions were negative.  My sons, on the other hand, have learned valuable lessons whether it’s from their negative behavior, lack of doing school work or just plain laziness.

3.) Homeschooling IS about preparation for adulthood.  As the new year may be getting ready to start, I try to remember that homeschooling takes on so much more meaning that completing a math book or doing a handwriting assignment.

By comparison, academic things have been easier than teaching my sons that nobody will be sitting by them for the rest of their lives motivating them to study, work, learn how to make good decisions and get along with others and respect them.

Their attitude toward learning, their view of their school for the day and how they spent their day have been huge indicators of the men they are turning out to be.

Aptitude or Attitude

I have learned backing off as a parent doesn’t mean backing down when needed. 

Too, by nature I am not a hands-off mom.  I love all the interaction, big hugs and probably more so when they are in high school. 

More than I can say in words, I love interacting with my sons. This type of relationship with my sons will not change.

Helping your children find their inner drive doesn’t mean they have to be alone during the day. 

It does mean allowing them choices to ponder, dream, plan their future and foster a love for learning that will feed their inner drive. 

I don’t have to have the inner drive each day, I just have to show up each day.

You’ll love these other tried and true tips below!

Hugs and love ya,