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How to Get an Out of Control Homeschool Back on Track

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Those deep about life conversations with your highschoolers are not only memorable, but can keep you on your toes when your teens ambush you.

Right before his graduation, Mr. Awesome 2015 and I were having a conversation after reading a psychology article about the fascinating inner workings of the brain. I love these types of conversations with my teen.

Anyway, the focus of the article was on what is needed to see something through to the end or in our case how to get an out of control homeschool back on track after our last year of moving overseas.

How to Get an Out of Control Homeschool Back on Track @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

Now that Mr. Awesome 2015 has graduated, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the layers of homeschooling and the grit (or is it) that you need to pant on to the end.

Sometimes it’s not my style to write so contemplative, but it does my soul good when I can share with you and with a few tears as I ponder about my past.

Hopefully, you will be infused with a bit more enthusiasm for this lifestyle choice you have made too.

Three Layers of the Homeschooling Lifestyle

Look at these three levels that you go through as you trek through the homeschool journey.

They are absolute key to the driving force you need to finish homeschooling to the end.

Layer 1. Homeschool pleasure equals instant gratification in learning.

Finding instant relief after escaping from public school is how a lot of homeschoolers feel.

Starting out your journey finding pleasure in learning every day is a strong motivator to begin homeschooling.

Leaving behind the model the public school sets for schooling the masses and creating a unique one of a kind education plan for your family is not only rewarding, but essential.

Meeting with other homeschoolers, taking field trips especially in the spring and fall when you and the kids want to spend every minute outdoors and signing up your children for enrichment classes that suit your homeschooling method are all needed in the beginning.

However, they are just momentary pleasures. What do I mean by that?

Is a Force of Habit Good?

Once you get your homeschool off to a great start, the next cycle is a flow.

Layer 2. It’s about the homeschool flow.

The middle layer of homeschooling (I’m not talking about middle school necessarily) can be longer for some than others because of the number of children you may have.

As each child comes along that you fold into your day and you get restless with the changes you made in the beginning, you soon realize that key to homeschool happiness is a flow to your day.

Giving up some of the things that brought pleasure to me in the beginning was a mistake. I still needed them peppered throughout our year.

However, I soon realized that our homeschool journey wasn’t contingent on others.

Though I would never trade our experience for anything for the active co-op Kelley and I lead, you find that a sense of satisfaction comes from doing things that you and your children like doing regularly.

Routine – Monotony or Momentum?

For us, we looked forward to going together to the park when nobody else was there and we did that on a regular basis. We could take our art supplies and sit under the huge shade trees and soak up the breeze.

Key to pushing me through many of those middle years was my routine though I didn’t realize it then.

I thought I was passed needing that flow to my day because we had done so many activities through the years.

Settling into a routine may seem boring, but it’s not about having a dull day. It’s about fostering determination.

Instead of seeking instant pleasure, which is a great kick start, finding your groove in the middle of the trek and settling into a routine that fits your family is needed so that your children can be prepared for a heavier workload in subjects.

Layer 3. Meaningful homeschooling is lasting. It’s a REAL sweet spot.

The last layer is finding the meaning in what you are doing.

That is the key to be contented once you have shed the comparison trap and is the key to being so very grateful and happy that you chose this road.

I have to admit that though I thought about high school or what I viewed as the end of the journey, life past high school for my sons seemed so far away.

In the beginning, I was so focused on how I was going to teach high school instead of realizing that there is life after high school.

Then, homeschooling takes on a whole new meaning.

When you get to this part in your homeschooling, you treasure the choice you made because you spent every spare minute with your child nurturing them into manhood or womanhood.

What I am trying to say is that time can pass, but it’s what you do with your time that makes homeschooling meaningful.

Trying not to go through a box of kleenex each day now that Mr. Senior 2013 has moved out and started his own life, homeschooling was not about co-ops, park days or even choosing the right math curriculum.

It has been about making moments meaningful.

When we dropped Mr. Senior 2013 off at the airport, I didn’t think about whether or not we did a craft or attended enough field trips, I tearfully thought back to the many moments we had from the first time he finally sit down in my lap to let me read to him until we told him goodbye at the airport.

Homeschooling was the best way to give him the kind of childhood I wanted him to have.

When the time comes for Mr. Awesome 2015 to move out, it will be the conversation we had to today that I will think about. By that time, I should have another box of kleenex in the house too.

Savor each layer of life when homeschooling, the best is always yet to come.

Which layer are you are at right now?

Look at these other posts:

Hugs and love ya,

Blurring the Line Between Living and Learning When Homeschooling

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I remember the year I gave up boxed curriculum because it was not only terrifying, but I felt overwhelmed.

Giving up a boxed curriculum was a relief though because it helped me to understand the difference between teaching a child and teaching a curriculum.

On the flip side, it brought on greater responsibility as a mentor, which is the part that is overwhelming because I didn’t have a teaching background.

From Homeschool Fear to Focus

Fear of our children being left behind can paralyze the best homeschool mom, and I think it’s a justified fear. Nobody wants to feel they have invested 15 years or more of homeschooling only to feel like a failure.

However, I also believe that fear can be turned to focus. Focus gives you a direction and clarity in your school.

Up until the time I let go of the boxed curriculum, the line between living and learning was not blurred.

School was my focus and not learning. I was curriculum driven instead of family-focused.Blurring the Line Between Living and Learning When Homeschooling @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusFocusing on testing, schedules and the approval of my in-laws did not allow me to discover how unique my children are.

Since we all want to succeed, blurring the line between living and learning has to be viewed as a positive.

Belief comes from your heart and from the desire to do the best with the precious children God has given you. I struggle too with not falling victim to this world’s institutionalized way of thinking.

3 Ways to Blur the Line Between Living and Learning

1.Schooling only from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. has to be abandoned and it is a heart wrenching struggle.

Somehow we think that if we keep the exact school hours of public school that we will meet our  goals. The longer you homeschool, you come to appreciate it’s important to have consistency, but it is quality that really matters.

For example, a twenty minute interactive grammar lesson each day is of more value than endless hours of worksheets with no purpose.

From struggles throughout the years though can come conviction.

2. Looking back, it wasn’t the boxed curriculum I needed to let go of, but it was my own view that boxed me in.

Curriculum laid out can save lots of teacher time prep. Don’t take an all or nothing view to curriculum like I did. I thought I either had to lesson plan or use a boxed curriculum.

I soon learned that if I used only part of a boxed curriculum and put together some of my own lesson plans that it was still a good value for my money.

Do a unit study, but follow a textbook if you are more comfortable. Try a hands on math project like a lapbook.

Read your history textbook but allow your boys to draw cartoons illustrating the history. For your girls who dream about fashion, let them draw costumes for that time period.

For science start a bug zoo jar collection with your little ones.

Surprise your teens who need a social outlet by going to a movie theater first thing in the morning and feel homeschool freedom.

Pack a lunch and drag all your art supplies to the park. Lay out there on a blanket and enjoy your nature journal as you praise the Creator along with your children.

It doesn’t have to be about wild abandonment of tests, schedules or textbooks if you want them.


3. Blurring the line means we are keenly aware of allowing our everyday life and experiences to train our children.

Day to day meaningful conversations become a normal part of teaching your children.

The longer I homeschool the harder it becomes to describe in my lesson planner what was parenting and was what homeschooling. Some days there is just no difference between the two.

It is about getting to actually know your son or daughter that you thought you knew so well before.

Allowing your children to hear your expressions each day of your deep love for Godly things and His creation becomes more parenting than homeschooling.

Each year as I homeschool I am humbled about things I have learned. Sharing what I have learned hopefully helps you to blur the line between living and learning.

Blurring the line between living and learning – how do you do it?

You’ll love reading a few other tips:

Hugs and love ya,

 

Also, check out:
Top 5 Mistakes of New Homeschoolers
From Struggling Homeschooler to Empowered Educator
How to Fake Homeschooling

The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Like a lot of new homeschoolers, I too just copied the public school system in everything from keeping a similar schedule, to curriculum selection, and even testing my first child, Mr. Senior 2013.

Public School at Home

You see, I was doing public school at home.

I hadn’t embraced the freedom that homeschooling offered. I was afraid.

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to lesson plan, to teach all of my children at one time, that my children were going to be behind, that I needed testing for grade placement, that my kids need other children their age and that I would totally fail them as an educator.

The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home. Understanding the two COMPLETELY different approaches is key by Tina Robertson

Did I mention I even had feelings of guilt questioning myself if I was a good mother?

Why do we do that as moms?

I agree that today is so much more easier to homeschool because of all the resources available to us.

However, in one particular way homeschooling was easier way back when because homeschoolers then grasped the full meaning of homeschooling.

About 10 years or so ago, public school at home providers popped up and became popular.

The meaning of homeschooling has become obscured because these companies tout that they support homeschooling. They may or may not.

Can You Really Have One Foot in Homeschool and One in Public School?

Until you let go of the public school at home mentality which models everything after the public school and where you are only assisting your children at home while somebody else teaches them, you will never embrace the freedom homeschooling offers.

Public School at Home Characteristics

  • biggest difference – government controlled
  • normally offered online
  • have testing required
  • have parent and teacher conferences
  • maintain a public school schedule
  • curriculum is put together by educational consultants even though public school at home touts that you as the parent choose readers or have some choice. You may or may not.
  • can be accredited
  • tout they are free because they are public school and public school is free
  • have a teacher assigned to your child
  • a curriculum is one grade level straight across the board a/k/a boxed curriculum or one size fits all.
  • mostly uses textbooks. Some online school use only textbooks while others throw in a few classical readers.
  • schedule is set up to complete on their timetable. Though many programs offer flexibility because they are government controlled, schedules have to be maintained.

If this sounds like the arrangement you just left, then why would you want to repeat it at home?

Homeschool Characteristics

  • biggest difference – parent controlled
  • you can choose all online curriculum, part physical books or mix and match
  • testing becomes the right of the parent who knows the child best and understands that a test is nothing more than a tool
  • conferences are not needed because as the tutor of your children you know what they’re learning. Even if you just begin to homeschool, it doesn’t take long for you to know exactly which subjects your child excels in and which subjects he will need support for.
  • your schedule is adopted based on your family’s needs and not based on an outdated school schedule, which was set up based on a society that was much more agricultural than our society is today.  If schooling year round suits your family, you simply begin and don’t need approval by a governmental agency.
  • curriculum is put together by a parent because she knows the child the best. If the curriculum is not working, it can be changed on a dime. Being in control doesn’t mean you can’t use something laid out by another company, but then that is your choice.
  • accreditation is no longer a term which homeschoolers fear because they know it doesn’t have anything to do with the value of an education. Be sure to read my article, Accreditation – Removing the Shroud of Mystery.
  • homeschoolers know that public school at home is not free. It may be cost-free, but given up freedom like control, having stressful deadlines for testing and parent teacher conferences cost.  Many homeschool educuators give up well-paying jobs because their desire to stay home with their kids is greater than their desire to pursue a career they may even be passionate about.  They know that homeschooling for excellence doesn’t always mean having the most expensive curriculum though they are willing to sacrifice other things if a pricier curriculum is better. Be sure to read my article, Is Homeschooling Expensive? Check out this Essential Guide in How to Homeschool Well on a Budget.
  • children are tutored one-to-one by their parents. Reports show that parents play a major role in their child having above normal intelligence when tutored.
  • the parent stays in control of whether they should purchase a grade level in a box or mix and match grade levels adjusted to the child’s natural abilities.
  • homeschool families don’t have to settle for a few well placed classical or living books placed into a curriculum, but can choose living books consistently.
  • the homeschool schedule is completely flexible to adjust to the needs of the family each year.

There is not anything that the public school at home approaches offers that an informed and hardworking educator at home can’t overcome.

If it’s structure you crave, then choose a laid out program where you are not having constant interference from an outside source.

If you need a more budget friendly curriculum be sure to check out my post Digital Homeschool Curriculum – Big Ol’ List.

Pursuing sports, music, art or any other extra curricular involvement is done easier when you set up your schedule to fit your children’s passion.

Being in control of my children’s education is one of the most satisfying and fulfilling jobs as a mother and parent I ever could have.

We were never promised it would be easy in raising our children, but they are blessings.

What we are assured of is that we will be provided with what we need to aim our children at their targets.

I have been blessed over and over many times, but not without some tears shed, lots of elbow grease, lots of prayers and a dogged determination to stick to what is best for my family. You can too!

Don’t forget so easily what many homeschoolers who homeschooled in the past knew, which is that homeschooling is a precious and extraordinary way of education that doesn’t mix with any other approach.

Look at some of these other resources that will help you to stick to the homeschooling approach.

Hugs and love ya,

The Great Homeschool Hoax - Public School at Home @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

3 Smart Tips to Avoiding Busywork in Homeschooling

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

3 Smart Tips to Avoiding Busywork in Homeschooling @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusAvoiding busywork in homeschooling is one of the lures that drew us to homeschooling.

We understand busywork to be any resource that goes beyond what the child needs to master the material.

Should our Homeschool Schedule Include Planning Every Minute?

Simple enough. But, does busywork have practical value or is it – well just busywork?

Look at these 3 smart tips to avoiding busywork in homeschooling and knowing when to turn busywork into meaningful review.

Measure the work for your child and not a classroom.

I made this mistake when using curriculum.

For example, one of my favorite grammar programs is Rod and Staff during the younger grades.

Shortly after using it, I realized that there was an enormous amount of review for a classroom setting.

There was way more review than my sons needed to master the concepts.

Key to avoiding busywork was to find just the right dose of work needed for each of my sons to master the material.  It was different for each of my sons but it wasn’t ever close to what a classroom needed.

Can busywork change to meaningful learning?

Too, I learned that I had to change my thinking about some of the activities I had planned.

For example, doing a craft by a child could be meaningful or meaningless, depending on his personality or needs.

I have shared many times that coloring pages didn’t particularly make my boys squeal with delight at any age.

However, when I switched to museum quality coloring books like Dover Nature Coloring Book or like a Edupress Solar System Coloring Book, coloring took on meaningful learning.

Coloring then became a valuable part of our learning day instead of busywork I added at the end of the day.

Create balanced lesson plans that work.

The last tip has to do with your experience in balancing your homeschool day.

If your day is too short, your children may have too much time on their hands. In other words, sibling rivalry may follow because children are not busy.

The value of play and time alone to stimulate their imagination is an intrinsic part of homeschooling.

However, while children are being trained to wisely use their time with meaningful projects they savor like legos, creative play and pursuing hobbies, they still need help to make their day productive.

If you find that your day ends too short, then add activities to guide your children to make their time purposeful.

When an activity is adding no value to your day, then it’s busywork.  It is a time drain and busywork can be at the very heart of why it can be hard to get done all that is planned for the day.

Don’t forget to look for ways to turn activities into meaningful learning.

The learning style of your child is important because you may need to add more crafts and activities or he may be the type of child that rolls his eyes when you mention crafts. Give him a book instead to read about what he needs to know and move one.

It takes practice to gauge the amount of work each child needs to master concepts.  Remember you can always add more review if they are not grasping a point.  But you don’t want to breed a resistant learner from constant review or busywork when it is not needed.

Lastly, if you find that your day is too short and the children are not filling their time with productive play, guide them to the activities you want them to do.

My boys knew I didn’t like a messy house but I was hindering them from spending productive time exploring a broken computer they wanted to take apart.   Sometimes they need a little coaxing from you and too they need to know that it’s okay to spread out their hobbies.

How about you? Can you use the 3 smart tips to measure your homeschool day?

Also, look at these tips:
Stop the Homeschool Time Drain
How Can I Achieve Simple Homeschooling?

Hugs and love ya,

 

Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does It Really Work?

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Besides building Godly character, homeschooling for the love of learning was also one of the primary reasons homeschooling pioneers touted homeschooling.

Does that philosophy still hold true today?

Are the Methods of Homeschooling Outdated?

Does homeschooling for the lifelong love of learning mean you are more interested in having fun than in helping your child advance in academics?

Some homeschoolers think so.

Not every homeschooler recognizes the value of instilling the love of learning in their children.

Homeschooling for the Love of Learning - Does It Really Work @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool PlusTake a look at some of these attitudes that can go from determined to succeed to devastating effects in the long run.

  • When your sole focus is on planning long term only for academic advancement like AP and CLEP.
  • When your child’s desire to love learning is secondary to your foremost goal of achieving academic excellence.
  • When your homeschool plans are constantly pushing your child through the grades regardless of his age.
  • When year after year, your homeschool lesson plans seem to be always ambitious.
  • When you know that your child is capable of college level work in junior high so you pile on the academics because he is bright and hard working.
  • When complaining by your child is met by you with a tough attitude.

Only you can determine what course you are on.

Instead of getting you to change your philosophy, I want to share the results of some of the families I have known through my 12+ years of homeschooling.

Many of those young kids are now grown.  Some are in college, some have started families of their own and some are considering homeschooling their children.  However, some are not considering homeschooling their own children.  Why?

From Childhood to Homeschooling Curriculum

The adult children are now pushing back at their parents.  Robbed of a childhood where they could have spent endless hours playing, adult children recognize that they were burdened with adulthood too soon.

Other families were met with resentment and outright hostility much sooner in their journey like when their teen started high school.

Instead of following the course the homeschool parent set out for him, one teen I knew rebelled and move out while still in high school.

How sad for those parents who now lost their opportunity for a relationship with their son.



Teens and homeschooled adult children have a way of biting back.  It is dangerous to deliberately year after year put an enormous amount of pressure on a child, gifted or otherwise.

It is one thing for us as parents to want our children to succeed, but it’s quite another to be over demanding of our children and cause them to lose their only childhood.

It is amazing too that while a homeschool parent can sabotage a child’s love of learning they can also be the one that rejuvenates a child’s love of learning.

The power we wield as parents should not be taken lightly because it affects a child lifelong.

When a child’s intrinsic love of learning is fed naturally while balancing a high academic standard, these families have been the ones to not only succeed academically but to maintain a strong bond with their adult child.

Homeschooling for the lifelong love of learning is not only the building block to a strong character but it is the impetus for self-learning.  Self-learning is like a glue that sticks way beyond your few short years of homeschooling.

Do you allow enough free time for self-discovery which will propel your children to homeschool for the lifelong love of learning?

Hugs and love ya,

 

Read on:
What is REAL Homeschooling? Homebound, Co-op, or Public School at Home.
When You Feel Like a Homeschool Failure
3 Reasons You Wouldn’t Want to Homeschool