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Homeschool During Crisis

8 Colossal Pitfalls of Homeschooling in the WHAT IF World

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When I imagine how things are going to be, I tend to be dramatic. Is that a nice way of saying I can be delusional? The pitfalls of homeschooling are plenty if you let them sidetrack you from your vision. Instead of losing vision, hone your goals.

For example, when I started homeschooling, I had visions of children eager to learn each day around our little public school desk. My house would be kept tidy every day. And laundry would never get more than a load or two behind. Supper would be on the table at 5:00 p.m. on the dot. Delusional I am telling you.

DELUSIONAL HOMESCHOOLING OR DELIBERATE HOMESCHOOLING

High levels of confidence, conviction, and fortitude wane easily and can be completely sucked out of us if we enter the what if . . . world of homeschooling.

Look at these potential 8 colossal pitfalls, if you let them.

What if

. . . I start to homeschool and my children get behind?

Guess what? They will. That is what catching up is about. Look at my article, Am I Doing Enough When Homeschooling.

. . . I choose not to test my children. Will I be doing them a disservice?

Look here at my tips about how to measure progress at my article, Narration – Telling Back or Testing? Books that Make Teaching Narration Easy Peazy.

. . . I’m not a creative person? I might be the most boring teacher.

You may, but you can change and learn too.

Look at how I did it at my article, Easy Hands on Homeschooling Ideas When You’re Not the Bomb Mom and 7 Homeschool Lies I Want to Tell My Younger Self.

. . . I can’t find friends for my children?

Unless you plan to homeschool your kids under a rock, there will be so much interaction over the course of your journey.

Look how we did it at my article, Socialization – A Homeschool Hallucination and I Am Homeschooling Because I Want My Kids Socialized.

. . . I decide that I want to put my child back in public school?

Before you do that, look at my tips at It’s a New Homeschool Year and My Child Wants to Go Back to Public School and Why My Homeschooled Kids Are Not Given the Choice to Go to Public School.

. . . my health or my children’s health prevent me from homeschooling?

Yes, that may happen. Look at how I dealt with in my article, Taking a Hit Doesn’t Mean to Quit– Homeschooling Through Crisis.

. . . while I’m pregnant I may not do my kids justice because I am too sick to teach them?

Hopefully, you put your health first if that time comes and realize that you’re teaching your kids way more than academics.

. . . I am not prepared for the upper grades?

All the preparing in the world won’t matter if you don’t have you teen’s heart. You can learn academics right alongside your teen. Focus on the relationship too.

And look at my articles in my blog category How to Homeschool Teens to Graduation.

COMBATING HOMESCHOOL PARALYSIS

We resist the urge to homeschool in the what if . . . world by applying these C tips.

Commitment.

Having practical teaching tips is important, however, that can be gleaned over any period of time.

Commitment is attached to an obligation. In some ways, I view my commitment to homeschooling like the marriage vow I made to my husband 23 years ago.

It is a guarantee that I will do everything in my power to make it work. Is a long term commitment for “just a year”?

View your homeschooling journey as a long term commitment.

Instead of bringing stress by applying pressure on your child to perform, start thinking of milestone markers. We plant certain milestone markers we want to reach for the long term.

Camaraderie.

Even though we can be consumed with the “nuts and bolts” of how to lesson plan, or how to teach writing, how to teach reading, or how to prepare a top notch high school transcript, it is the companionship of other homeschoolers that is the true glue that makes us stick to homeschooling.

In the camaraderie of our local homeschool support groups, summer homeschooling conventions, blogs and on line support groups, there is always somebody who understands our similar circumstances.

Conscientious.

Though many of us may live in states or countries where we do not need to test or keep attendance, our being attentive to our duties as parent and teacher keep us principled.

We do not adopt laxed attitudes about our house, our school, our worship, or our families. Again, we let go of the what if . . . world because our heart and conscience are stronger forces than any test score and they can motivate us to keep going.

My dramatic idealist person has not completely left, but my sons have done their work on many types of desks.

We eat meals close enough to 5:00 and there is always a load or two of laundry I could do.

The homeschooling what if . . . world is full of worry and guilt. Resist the urge along the way to re-enter it.

What counts in a journey is the ending!

The pitfalls of homeschooling are plenty if you let them sidetrack you from your vision. Instead of losing vision, hone your goals. High levels of confidence, conviction, and fortitude wane easily and can be completely sucked out of us if we enter the "what if . . ." world of homeschooling. Look at these potential 8 colossal pitfalls, if you let them. Click here.

Hugs and love ya,

3 Foolproof Ways I Cope When I Can’t Homeschool (or Blog)

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3 Foolproof Ways I Cope When I Can't Homeschool because of life's crisis. Go from stress to strength @ Tina's Dynamic HomeschoolWhile homeschooling, I’ve experienced a pregnancy requiring bed rest, cared for my husband who survived a massive heart attack, cared for my sister who was in ICU and needed long-term care and now we’re facing our dreaded fear that we have an aging parent who can’t care for herself any longer. You’d think I would have coping techniques down pat.

What I’ve learned so far is that each crisis in life is different. And though these types of experiences are never welcomed, I find that with each hardship my ability to cope is better.

Today, in sharing how I cope when I can’t homeschool (or blog), I hope to energize and encourage you to not lose your balance. Easier said than done.

Look at my innermost thoughts I bring up when life happens again.

►One/ Most changes are temporary.

Most stressful situations are temporary. Even if a stressful situation is prolonged, I always find a way to make it easier on my family.

For example, when my sister was in ICU, the long-term care facility she stayed at allowed me and my boys to visit for a long time. The room was large enough to bring my boys and her young girls.

Looking back, six months past quickly though it didn’t seem like it at the time.

Unless You Want To Be In A Bed Next to Them . . .

►Two/ Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t.

I can’t say enough about a positive attitude. It affects your physical well-being and unless you want to be in a bed beside your loved one, you have to shift your focus to positive.

I wanted to be with my sister, my husband and now my aging parent at all times and as much as I could, but I learned that they are receiving professional (hopefully) medical care.

However, so that I could take care of my sister’s children and my children and take care of my husband when he recuperated, I had to take care of my physical and emotional well-being.

Guess what? That requires rest not just for your body but for your emotions.

This is very different than saying to dismiss negative thoughts. That is almost impossible because negative thoughts are tied in with the present stressful situation. They can consume you unless you find something stronger to replace it with.

Hear my heart on this because the very thing that could add to your stress at a tragic time is the very thing you should allow to consume your time when you need a break.

When I was pregnant and was on bed rest, I wanted to follow my well-laid out lesson plans perfectly. Why do we do that to ourselves?

I had to swallow my self-will because continuing on with my lesson plans was just not going to work because I was limited in how much I could be on my feet during the day. And I needed to save the time for taking care of my preschoolers.

The day I relented, my preschoolers had an all day marathon movie watching day. I learned a valuable lesson from that first time, which is that doing something normal consumed my mind and time while my body rested. It eased a stressful situation.

“After all tomorrow is another day” (dramatic but true)

Then, when my husband had a heart attack, it seemed like the longest drive of my life to get to the hospital not knowing whether he made it or not. I still have those texts from him on that day. (Yes he texted me while having a heart attack because he thought they would be his last words. That is all I can say about this.)

And after I found out that he survived when I arrived at the hospital, I could hardly stand. That night I came home to a very quiet and dark bedroom. It was so easy to just mentally collapse thinking of how close he was to danger. And I allowed myself time to have a good cry in private. But, then I hit a reset button.

Allowing too much sadness to overcome me was not going to help me to get my husband on the long road to recovery. Plus, I had three boys to think about.

Again, I turned to something normal to fill my time instead of my emotions and that was homeschooling.

Unlike my bed ridden pregnancy many years before, this time I learned that I should do some homeschool but that I needed to lighten my load.

Digital products were a life saver then because my boys could take their devices in their backpacks and already have some kind of school work to do whether we sat long hours in a waiting room or were in the ICU with my hubby.

►Three/ Write it down. Close the book and forget it.

Another coping technique, which I can totally relate to when it was told to my aging parent by a clinical psychologist was to write your worries away.

The doctor encouraged my parent to write her worries in a book and close it for the day. She can look at it tomorrow, but to give her mind time to rest, recuperate and re-energize.

I had an aha moment because I felt like I could relate. This must be one of the very reasons I blog.

Writing has a way of allowing all negative thoughts to escape, loom, fill and overflow the space on the page so that your mind is empty, calm, peaceful and serene. Then, it can reset.

What I find ironic is that I don’t feel like a writer that pines to pore over every word of creating a story. I do prefer writing that is full of facts and help and not story telling.

Whatever type of writer I am, writing or blogging allows me to put each crisis to rest.

Accepting when I’m limited makes me powerful, rested and ready to cope with the present challenge, which now is an aging parent.

These coping techniques are tried and true. They worked for me, they will for you too.

Remember one last thing. And that is to allow people to help and support you. Being an independent, capable and competent momma doesn’t mean we shouldn’t accept help. We all need encouragement to not give up homeschooling and especially when experiencing hardships and what may be overwhelming sadness. Allow others inside and don’t keep up the wall.

As I learned from my husband’s text to me the day he had the heart attack, words matter.

Look at some of these other blog posts that you’ll find helpful when going through a crisis. Digital Homeschool Curriculum – Big Ol’ List, Taking a Hit Doesn’t Mean to Quit– Homeschooling Through Crisis, and What I Gave Up to Homeschool (and what I got in return).

Hugs and you know I love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope)

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This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

10 Biggest Homeschool Burnout Triggers (and how to cope)

No matter what you do, positive person or not or how well-organized you are, homeschool burnout looms because the 10 biggest homeschool burnout triggers are linked to life. Avoiding the unexpected is not possible, but you can plan for the unexpected.

Look at these 10 biggest homeschool burnout triggers and a tip or two on how to cope. Besides, instead of telling you how wonderful homeschooling will be, I want you prepared to dig your heels in when times are tough.

One/A pregnancy (complicated or not).

It may seem obvious that a pregnancy causes burnout, but when you have pregnancy brain it can seem otherwise. Somehow I thought I could keep on pushing because we were in a school year.

It took my third pregnancy before I actually planned activities when I would have to stop and rest.

Laid up on the couch and on bed rest for a few weeks, I pulled out activities for my preschooler and kindergartner, which nowadays are called busy bag activities.

Key to keeping your kids entertained and learning is to have everything they need for an activity in a bag. I could get up once, pull down several activities from the closet and have my two boys sit at my feet on the couch while we learned.

Two/ A long term sickness whether it’s your immediate or extended family.

In addition to pregnancy, I have experienced an ICU stay for my husband, an ICU stay for my sister and a long-term facility care for my mother-in-law.

At the time, it can seem that your life will never return to normal. It might not and may be changed. But change is also part of homeschooling.

I did four things to cope with what seemed like insurmountable stress.

  • I divided our school subjects in half and did half one day and the other half the next day.
  • I bought each kid a backpack so that we could learn on the go and moved our schoolroom into the backpacks.
  • I purchased easy workbooks because this is the time to use them.
  • I purchased an online subscription to Time4Learning.

Avoiding Top Homeschool Burnout Triggers

Three/ The transition to high school.

You will eventually get to high school and hear my heart when I say that is not the time to quit, but it may seem like it at the time.

If you have a rebellious teen it can make this time period worse.  One tip I learned was to be sure that your teen has a say in what he wants to learn and pursue.

Don’t feel like you have to give up everything you have dreamed of for your child, but know that they are entering adulthood and are a unique person.

Part of being a unique person is recognizing their interests, strengths and weaknesses and then allowing them explore them. When you’re at this point in your journey, remember what brought you to homeschooling, which is being able to raise a unique individual.

Instead of throwing in the towel and sending your kid to public school, work with him and decide whether or not an online high school is an option. Some kids do better by answering to somebody else.

My boys never had to experience this, but we also homeschooled from the beginning, which I have learned makes a huge difference.  If your child has had other teachers besides you, he may view that as normal.

Be willing to compromise, but not give up your standards always makes for a fair way of getting through the high school years.

Four/ When homeschool planning is overly ambitious.

Guilty as charged. I can always tell newer homeschoolers or homeschoolers who will burnout quickly by the exhaustive lists of homeschool subjects they think they will cover.

Writing it down is key to being sure your list is doable.

When you simply list it, and not plug a homeschool subject into a time slot on your day, it stays as overly ambitious. The next step is hitting a brick wall and burnout follows.

Overly ambitious homeschooling can backfire with sad consequences.

I have known families through the years that have lost their teens because they would not yield or compromise their plans. How sad.

Look at the tips on my three part series What Homeschool Subjects to Teach and When to Teach Them and Divide And Conquer The Ever Growing List of Homeschool Subjects.

Five/ Too many fun activities outside the house.

There have been years that we have been able to do more than other years, but balance is the key no matter how fun are the activities.

This is also exacerbated by how many kids you have. Don’t think that a mom with an only child can’t fall into this trap by trying to be sure her kid gets a social life.

Whether you are a mom of many or an only, your child needs you. There is no substitute for your guidance. Be selective on choosing outside activities and one thing I did when my kids wanted different ones was to alternate them each week.

One week we did art and the next week we did music to satisfy all of my kids. We went slower, but all of my kids benefited from mixing up and cutting back our activities.

Six/ Too many volunteer projects by mom.

When I conducted workshops, many of the moms confessed how many volunteer programs they were a part of.

I encourage you to make your family priority. Even good and worthy volunteering projects can add stress and cause burnout when it’s not necessary. As kids grow older and circumstances change, I have been able to do more things I enjoy.

From Daunting to Doable

Seven/ Failing to plan is planning to fail. It’s true.

The opposite end of overly ambitious planning is feeling like your wings would be clipped if you followed a more scripted schedule.

It takes time to find a middle ground that suits your unique personality. Key to success is knowing your personality and knowing how to rein yourself in.

For example, I know that I tend to be a drill sergeant and have my kids march to the minutes on a schedule (nobody liked me when I first started homeschooling).

All these years I have worked on being more flexible by following more of a block schedule or scheduling zones of times.

If you have the opposite problem, then start by scheduling things for 15 minutes at a time until you find a rhythm to fit your style. You can even use a timer in the beginning as you get the feel for the amount of time needed for a subject.

Training yourself to move through your day accomplishing what you plan without pushing you and your kids will lead to a productive and meaningful day.

Eight/ Job loss or change.

Coping with several of these changes too, I learned to cut back my school to just the core subjects as we adjusted to a new schedule or change in income.

We have owned our own business and my husband has worked 7 days a week for 12 hours days. In all the cases of job changes, I have allowed myself a month or so to adjust to the schedule. For example, when my husband worked 12 hours a day for 7 days a week, I got my kids up early as well so that they were ready for bed at the same time as my husband.

If you don’t get the rest of your household in sync with your husband’s schedule and try to maintain different family schedules, it can trigger stress.

Nine/Moving.

When we moved, I always thought I could keep on homeschooling during that stressful time. I learned that learning to pack and moving can come under Home Economics if you train your children while moving.

My boys always wanted to help pack and looking at the positive, moving is a wonderful time to declutter.

Instead of thinking that our schooling was being interrupted, I viewed that time as our time off of school. Of course we had to make up but it’s so much more easier making up when you choose to take time off to move.

Ten/ Unbending, inflexible, stubborn and immovable and no it’s not the toddler.

Flexible, bending and reasonable didn’t exactly abound in my life or should I say they are not my best qualities. However, homeschooling has a way of seasoning you to showcase those qualities.

Learning to adjust your homeschool course, accepting you and your kids shortcomings and allowing others to help you when you need it, keeps you on the sane road to homeschooling.

By giving you this heads up on things that you may experience in your journey, I hope you can enjoy the high moments that you will encounter and remember that the lows will pass.

Also, look at 4 Reasons Your Homeschooled Child is Uninspired To Learn (and what to do) and 3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

Don’t forget to follow BOTH of my Pinterest accounts for AWESOME pins.

Visit Tina Robertson’s profile on Pinterest.


Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.

Why Nobody Cares if You Homeschool Year-Round (or shouldn’t)

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Why Nobody Cares if You Homeschool Year-Round @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus
Why Nobody Cares if You Homeschool Year-Round @ Tina’s Dynamic Homeschool Plus

While I sit here writing this article, my husband has made a change into a new career that we’ve planned for and are excited about. Starting out, it means working 7 days a week from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Grueling schedule to say the least for him, and I’m right there cooking/packing every meal for him because his workplace doesn’t have a restaurant. And a lot of times, he can’t leave the building for lunch or his lunch is shortened back from one hour.

Back to my point, what does this have to do with homeschooling year-round? Everything, for me.

That is just the point, my schedule has nothing to do with your family’s schedule and the schedules of other families have nothing to do with mine.

I too have shared many times over about the the advantages of homeschooling year-round, but it’s more important to know how to tell if you can instead of telling you why you should.

Look at Homeschooling Year Round Chaos or Calm, What is Year Around Homeschooling Part 1 and Part 2 if you want some more tips.

Homeschooling too is about not being sorry or feeling guilty for things you can’t control.

3 Quick Tips to Adapt to Homeschooling Year-Round

Instead of sharing pros and cons of homeschooling year-round because they won’t help one bit if you can’t, I want to share how to tell if you should even consider it.

Family schedule matters.

There is just no getting around it, your child’s learning ability can’t be the only weighing factor as to whether or not you homeschool year-round.

For example, my husband’s schedule is pretty predictable right now.

Homeschooling year-round gives me to time to plod along when I am getting up every morning at 4:30 to 5:00 a.m.

I wake my kids right up alongside us because I need my whole household to be on the same schedule.

By the way, this is a tried and trued tip, which has worked for me as we have experienced many different schedules. It is just too hard, not to mention stressful when half of your family gets up when they want to or some other hour and the other half doesn’t.

Guess what? The do-whatever-you -want-to- schedule for the kids comes back to bite you when you need your household quiet for the Mr. or even for a younger child.

This summer, instead of starting school at 9:00 or 9:30 a.m. like we use to, we start school closer to 8:00 a.m. or even before because we have been up for a while, finished chores and are ready for our day.

I remember back to our very first co-op I attended where the leader canceled school for the summer. I was puzzled because my kids were little and I was ready to keep on going.

Finding out later that day that her husband was the head coach at the local public school, I learned right away how a family schedule affects year round-homeschooling.

Who wants to have such a rigid day of homeschooling when dad is off for the summer? Not me.

Seasons matter.

I would like to say that seasons don’t matter here in Texas, but when you have 3  days of winter (okay, we had a bit more this year) and a lot of summer heat, days are long and hot.

Having the top of my kids’ heads baked just never appealed to me. Our time outdoors during the summer months is limited to a few hours in the morning and a few hours in the evening.

Guess what? That is a lot of in between time, which needs to be filled with meaningful activities.

For a majority of our homeschool years we have homeschooled during the summer than not because it filled our days with meaning and it also meant we could skip school on days when the weather changed to glorious.

When it is spring or fall, we don’t feel guilty spending a lot of time outdoors because we’re normally well ahead in our curriculum.

High School matters.

The few times we have followed a traditional public school schedule is when my oldest two sons graduated.

Whether your child is interested in going to college right away, starting a career or doing some Bible based work, you need to be sure he starts off right by finishing school close to the time he suppose to graduate.

There is nothing that stresses a responsible homeschooled teen more than having the feeling of being behind because he has a life after homeschooling.

Whether you read the pros and cons of homeschooling year-round, it shouldn’t matter to you because many years, homeschooling year-round has little to do with whether you want to or not and a lot to do with your family’s present groove.

Mercifully, homeschooling fits your circumstances and circumstances can change quickly.

By the way, I love this new schedule as we have all settled into it and knowing my husband’s deployment will be a few short months, like 3 or 4 at a time, I find the good in it.

Did I mention how much I get done each day by being up early every day? Here and there he may have off Sundays and that is a plus too.

Hugs and love ya,

Signature T

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Linking up @ these places:

When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is it Worth the Risk?)

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When Homeschooling is Not an Overnight Success (Is It Worth Taking the Risk) @Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

When I started my blog, I wanted it free of drama. No, not free of emotions or tears because I do have them.

But I want it to be a place where I can give you the heads up when homeschooling becomes tough. The ups and downs of homeschooling or when homeschooling is not an overnight success can make you feel defeated.

Focusing on feeling utterly defeated at times is not about what I didn’t do for the year. It is about the lessons I learned from my failures.

Do You Cheat Yourself?

It’s about empowerment and it is the way I stay stoked about homeschooling. I do believe in the power of positive thinking.

Look at these ideas I pull up from deep down and bring to the surface when I feel defeated at times.

It’s About the Journey, Not the Destination.

The destination is important, but it is what is done day to day that matters in the end.

Did you know the destination can change? I don’t mean homeschooling, but I do mean when a child becomes an adult sometimes their plans are not what you planned.

Focus on molding them to be the person you want instead of the plan.

Learning and building character is like layering. Each layer takes painstaking time to build.

Before I started homeschooling, I had an idea that I wanted my teaching days to be rigorous, but filled with practical learning activities.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I did think success happened quicker. I’m a bit delusional, I admit.

It’s not because I had unrealistic expectations, but I did have high expectations. That is a fine, but subtle difference.

High expectations can be a trap of discouragement.

Not everybody coming to homeschooling has unrealistic expectations, but even “ambitious” homeschooling has a way of biting you back.

Look at my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does it Really Work.

I have never wanted my sons to abandon the freedom to learn at home; so I have had to reevaluate realistic expectations.

During the grueling years of homeschooling, I learned that my homeschool vision or ideas can fade.

Each year I have to remind myself to refine my expectations to achievable so that I don’t fall into the trap of disappointment.

Refining expectations, showing up at the teaching table each and every day, focusing on the very short time together before your kids are out of the house and the magnificent moments of today are huge motivators for me each day.

Mistakes are Proof that You’re Trying.

Making mistakes are part of homeschooling. Many times mistakes are made just because of a lack of knowing. There is nothing wrong with that.

We learn from failures and we improve. I have made many mistakes.

  • I didn’t match the right curriculum to one of my son’s learning style.
  • I over planned for the day and ended up frustrating myself and my kids too.
  • I said said something to one of my son’s in anger.
  • I pushed my sons because I wasn’t sure they were giving me their best.

The point is I can accurately define each one (admit them) and do something about them.

Do You Want a Positive Guarantee That Homeschooling Will Be Successful?

It’s not the mistakes that kills the joy of our homeschooling, it’s not changing or correcting the mistake.

You don’t expect your kids to not make mistakes, so don’t make a different standard for yourself. Keep balanced about what you expect from yourself as a teacher.

Like your child, you do expect them to learn from their mistakes.

I would rather risk a change or mistake then to complete my homeschool journey and live with “what ifs” or regrets.

I would rather live by the saying, “The Man Who Makes No Mistakes Does Not Usually Make Anything”.

The Good and Bad of Comparisons.

I have said it often that comparisons can rob you of homeschool joy.

There are probably less than a handful of people that can say they know your exact circumstances when it comes to homeschooling.

Even saying that, I too can be guilty of comparing myself with others whose circumstances are completely different than mine.

Comparisons hurt because they can reflect our short comings or where we may have failed in homeschooling.

However, comparisons can have a positive effect if we use it like a measuring tool.

I ask myself can I do better? Do I need to take the criticism or comparison and apply it to myself and do better?

Sometimes what I think I am doing and what I am actually accomplishing do not equal.

I need to take a closer look at what I am doing because a comparison can spur me on to be better. Not stress me, but stimulate me is what an objective comparison should do.

Homeschooling is still scary at times. Some days, I still feel like I am navigating uncharted waters. But I would rather take the risk.

Our adventure reminds me of another saying that I keep tucked away too and remember from our study of the American Revolution.

The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.

What do you keep tucked away deep down and bring up when you fight the feelings of disappointment?

Hugs and love ya,

 

Look at some more ammo:

What I Gave Up to Homeschool (And What I Got in Return)
Second Chance Homeschooling – Can We Have Do-Overs?

Follow Me on Pinterest too Because I would Love to Keep You Stoked!!

Visit Tinas Dynamic Homeschool ‘s profile on Pinterest.