Avoid the Homeschool Blues

Second Chance Homeschooling. Can We Have Do-Overs?

September 19, 2015 | 6 Comments
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Second Chance Homeschooling

Taking Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten after putting him in for Kindergarten at the beginning of the year, I knew I had a second chance for homeschooling.

If you are struggling with gearing back up for the school year, I want to share a few pointers that helped me to plod along.

I believe in second chances and do-overs in homeschooling.

Second Chance Homescholing. We can have them. @ Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus

There are so many things in life that we can’t do over, but homeschooling is not one of them.

If you didn’t get covered what you wanted to last year, make it a priority this year. Priority means first. You get a second chance.

New Beginnings

If you are sheepishly returning to homeschool because putting your children back in public or private school didn’t work, don’t pick up where you left off.

Determine first if it was the homeschool or because life happened that made you return to public school.

If you just pick up where you left off without examining what was the stress inducer, you could be setting yourself up for another disappointment.

Hear my heart on this next point.

3 Important Truths To Remember When Beginning AGAIN

We read so much about leaving guilt at the door, but not enough about analyzing it. If we had no feelings of guilt, what kind of mom would we be? Would we even be viewed as human?

Having feelings of guilt means that we are aware of our weaknesses and we realize there is a standard.

I feel this way when I can’t live up to God’s standards. It keeps me aware of my weaknesses and that there is a standard I desire to live by. I strive to do better next time.

Balance is required though because we can’t get that confused with trying to be a perfectionist homeschooler.

Are our feelings of guilt because we couldn’t marry our expectations of unrealistic homeschooling with what we could actually do? Then that thinking needs to be left behind.

Analyzing but not constant agonizing over past mistakes keeps us balanced.

If we always tend to contemplate on how we are not doing enough in our day it can erode our homeschooling.

Erosion is a slow process and then we may sabotage our own homeschool because we give up.

Remember, these 3 key ways to get on a different path when you are beginning again.

1. analyze guilt but don’t agonize over it;

2. don’t be confused between guilt feelings of trying to school by a higher standard and having perfectionist standards that nobody can meet. Good can come out of trying harder next time; and

3. avoid erosion which is constant wearing down.

If it is our thinking we need to change, if we need to join a support group, if we need to leave a support group or if we need minimal contact with naysayers, then take positive actions to do it now to keep your joy in homeschooling.

Each year negative things can take stabs at our every day joy. It’s hard for even the strongest homeschooler to not get wore down. So remove things that can make your homeschool backslide.

I do think that at the end of my homeschool journey that I might want a do over on something, but I won’t ever regret trying to make it right this year.

I was inspired by this quote today as I don’t want to let go of what I have learned from the past years.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.”

Hugs and love ya,

Also, check out these articles:

Are You Qualified to Teach Your Homeschooled Children?
3 Tips from the Pros Before You Become a Homeschool Educator

It’s Tough To Start Back Over Again – But Well Worth It

When Homeschooling is a Mistake

December 5, 2014 | 12 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

I thought homeschooling was a mistake when I put Mr. Senior 2013 in public school Kindergarten.

Teaching him his colors and numbers at 3 years old seemed easier at the time than homeschooling him at the beginning of Kindergarten. I chuckle now many years later, but it was not laughable then.

I learned that no matter what grade I was homeschooling, my homeschool conviction can only burn bright if I fueled it.

Running on empty is a common homeschool mistake. I made that mistake too.

I didn’t take time to cement my foundational goals and to ask myself burning questions like: what is it about homeschooling that lights me up or, why is homeschooling the best choice for my family.

You can’t skip ahead and choose curriculum, begin your homeschool journey, continue your journey year after year, or call yourself a homeschooler if you don’t take time to polish up your vision.

It really matters because otherwise, like me, you may react to your feelings of being inadequate and return your children to public school without good reason.

I want to make something clear too because the last thing any of us needs is another homeschool post that rants about homeschooling at all costs.

It’s one thing to not have the circumstances presently to live on one income, have health problems or other significant things that prevent you from homeschooling and quite another to completely abandon the homeschool lifestyle because we didn’t take time to get a dose of reality in the beginning.

New Homeschooler

There really is no magical formula to keep going in homeschooling, it’s just plain hard work.

I learned it just didn’t come together without some effort on my part.

Each year, these 3 points are essential to me embracing another year of homeschooling.

Recommit. What works for me is both a combination of personal prayer and writing down my feelings in plain view for me to reflect on later.

Personal feelings are just that which means a time to reflect on progress. Part of this time for you could be goal setting for things that you want to see fulfilled for the next year.

For me, I tend to keep goal setting separate. When I recommit, it means taking time to pour out my feelings and thought on paper until they overflow. They don’t have to make sense, they just need to be on paper instead of all floating around in my mind.

Sure, it sounds emotional and it is. Homeschooling is a personal attachment to a life-long lifestyle and part of that is reflecting on the positive and awesome part of homeschooling.

The flip side is reflecting on what you are finding hard to cope with and deciding on what you will compromise on.

Compromise. Through that writing and sharing in my personal journal, I basically commit again. But, it does not come without compromising and letting go of how I thought my year would turn out.

For example, this year, I am using an online school for Mr. Awesome for part of his high school courses. This was something that I never even considered with Mr. Senior 2013 in high school.

Wrapping up my personal reflection this year, I have had to compromise to keep homeschooling because my circumstances for homeschooling have changed. The Mr.’s health suffered and so more of my time was required in our business.

New to Homeschool

On the positive side, we wanted to homeschool overseas as a family and experience that adventure. I have come to grips with the fact that each of my son’s homeschooling journey can be different.

A different path for Mr. Awesome is just as enriching because of his unique experiences for learning here in South America unlike Mr. Senior’s journey in the states.

Compromising is an art, but better yet it is a must for staying the homeschooling course.

Recharge & Refuel. After you sort out what you will compromise on to keep homeschooling, then you need to recharge your energy for homeschooling. Simple things motivate me and one of them is reading.

Something about curling up with a book, homeschool magazine or even curriculum catalog that I have not had time to pore over rejuvenates my personal homeschooling spirit.

Other homeschoolers need to do more physical activity and still others may need to step back completely from homeschooling. I find too that a combination of physical activity and a mental break renews my empty spirit.

I have made many mistakes in my homeschooling journey. But, I have also done some things right since pulling Mr. Senior 2013 back out of Kindergarten many years ago.

I returned to homeschooling and I’ll never give up homeschooling so easily again, no matter how painful. It has been worth every tear shed and sleepless night.

By turning inward and recommitting on a personal and emotional level of attachment, learning the art of compromise by giving a little to get a lot, and nurturing or refueling your homeschooling spirit, which may be dwindling, you can keep the forward momentum in homeschooling.

Besides a new year always means do-overs and second chances. What do you do when you feel homeschooling is a mistake?

Other New Homeschooler Tips and Helps:

3 Causes and Cures for the Homeschool Blues

November 8, 2014 | 2 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see my full disclosure policy.

Whether it’s the change in the weather, the humdrum days of every day school, or if you are just questioning the decision to homeschool, I am hoping by sharing 3 causes and cures for the homeschool blues that you will be rejuvenated and inspired to put the spark back into your day.

Look at these 3 causes and cures for the homeschool blues:

Cause: Feeling Unproductive. Have you ever had one of those days where you poured out every ounce of teacher know how into teaching your kids math or maybe sight words for the past few months only to have them act like they have never received any instruction before?

Of course, it always seemed to happen to me when the Mr. was interrogating questioning the boys about our “”productive” day. In the beginning of our homeschool journey, the Mr. was like a lot of new homeschooling dads and that is they want to see instant results. The frustrating thing is that I too wanted to see homeschool progress.

It just feels like your time has been wasted and it’s enough to kill your homeschool joy.

Cure: Slow Down or Take a Break Altogether. Whether your child is struggling with learning what you have slaved over the last few months teaching him or whether you have tears over your lack of creative ways to teach him, everybody can benefit from a break.

Many years, I realized that no matter how hard or creative I tried to be in teaching something that was not clicking with one of my sons that progress eventually comes.

It is very hard to be patient and wait on that time period, but it was harder on me to question my teaching ability and then to drain my enthusiasm for teaching my kids afterward.

Nobody like the teacher mom that showed up the next morning after I had one of those I-am-going-to-do-it-anyway days.

Though the problem won’t go away, taking a temporary breather will bring some relief and sometimes my most creative moments came out of a change of pace.

Cause: Waiting on “Normal” Homeschool. A time consuming and endless hunt is waiting on the perfect circumstance or routine to school. If you think about it procrastination really is a pursuit of perfection.

Sure, I would love to have all things organized in my home before we started for the day. But what I have learned is that waiting on things to settle down or waiting for perfect circumstances never really happens.

What can happen is that we can get further and further behind in what we want to accomplish for the day and then discontentment sets in along with the homeschooling blues.

Cure: The Secret is Contentment. Sometimes circumstances won’t change for a while and it can be tough to stay contented during an extended time.

Maybe you have a long term illness or are taken care of a sick child or aging parents. Life happenings and the every day life of a homeschooler can’t be separated.

During my journey,I have taken care of my mom who has a long term illness now, have taken care of my sister and her kids while she recovered in a long term care facility after getting out of ICU, cared for my husband in ICU after he had his heart attack and other wise cried alongside other homeschoolers who had very devastating circumstances.

{Because I love my sister, I would prefer you see this picture of her when she was out of ICU and on the road to recovery.}

{Though we spent much time at the hospital, our children learned lessons like the preciousness of life, family and that being together during times when things weren’t “normal” is what counts.}

Through it all I realized that I was the one learning. Learning to be content with making homeschool work for my circumstances. Sure, some years, a lot of my homeschooling years have gone much like I planned, but many did not.

Benjamin Franklin said: “Contentment makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor” and there is value in adopting that quote. By not waiting or striving after a perfect homeschool day, then progress happens.

Unpleasant circumstances can strike at anytime, but being happy and grateful for the privilege of homeschooling and being with my children has always helped me to dwell on what I have and no worry about what I can’t control.

Whether we schooled later in the day, listened to audio cds I grabbed while traveling back and forth to the hospital each day or whether we simply set up school in a hospital waiting room, I have learned that consistency and learning flexibility is the key to contentment.

Homeschooling is the pursuit of progress, however measured it comes, and not perfection.

Cause: Physical and Emotional Drain. We probably don’t talk about this part of homeschooling enough. But the physical and emotional drain of homeschooling is enough to want us to lose the battle.
Cure: Sometimes we need others to help. By nature, we homeschoolers are an independent bunch and might feel vulnerable when asking others for help. We may need help with the house or help in our school.

What I found though is that at times when we need help the most that we tend to isolate ourselves. We may think somehow by getting off someplace by our self, it may be just what we need. It may be, if we just need time in the day to catch up on rest.

However, I have found that an emotional drain seems to intensify when I am alone to fester it. By including my husband in on those feelings, he has been able to take the boys away for an afternoon so that I can find time to physically rest. Too, though sharing with him my fears and frustrations somehow eases the load.

By nature you know men want to solve the problem and though I do a majority of the teaching like most homeschoolers, he always has great gems of advice to share to keep my negative thinking in place.

Too, don’t underestimate the value of true homeschooling friends. Sometimes we just need a sympathetic listener.

When I have unloaded my deepest fears, which I have kept pushed way down, to my closest dear friends, I realize they too have the same homeschooling struggles. I am not so alone anymore.

Beating the homeschool blues is inextricably tied in to how you view your homeschooling circumstances. Don’t hold back tears when needed because it just shows that we value our job as homeschooling educators and we need an emotional release.

Through tears comes strength and a renewed determination to put one foot forward and try it again.

Though we are not completely able to block out the homeschool blues because it is part of the homeschooling journey, we are more prepared in not allowing it to steal our homeschool joy.

You know I love ya,