3. {5 Days of . . . Blogging Series}

{Warning: Picture Overload Again. This got long because I have many pictures & memories we have created so far that I want to share with you. So I am scattering them throughout this post.}

Nobody wants to be part of a co-op that does not flourish. It flourishes not because of the work of other people but because each leader and all the members work at creating an atmosphere for learning and lasting memories.

Co-ops can go from cherished to a flop if you don’t have communication, a clear purpose on the existence of the group, a few clear cut ground rules, realistic ways to solve the costs and expenses of the group, and leadership with joy.

I got ask to share some of the ground rules we have. Giving you some of my thinking and experience behind the rules, I hope helps you to make the right rules for your co-op.

Don’t overwhelm new members with rules but a few well chosen rules keeps expectations clear.  It should take you longer to read this post than it should a new member to read the list. Be precise and clear so that your group attracts the members that you want in your co-op.

About Rule 1.  Our group is private and you have to know somebody before you join. We feel this keeps drama down to a minimum. Normally a friend that is already having fun in the co-op can be your best advocate if things go awry or if the guidelines are not understood by a new member.

You think it’s a given that participation is required, but you’d be surprised. There are a number of people who join a group and like reading the group’s email behind the computer, but shows up rarely because of one excuse or another. If the very purpose of your co-op is to socialize, like ours is, then you want active families. Our co-op is private because we would rather grow with few active participants than many who are not. It didn’t’ take long for word to get out and our group grew fast in a few years.

About Rules 2, 3 & 9.  We didn’t want a group that was drop off and go. The purpose of a our co-op is so that families participate together. We have the rule that a guardian or parent has to be present. We don’t care if families agree between themselves that another mom can bring a child, they have to contact us first to approve this. Things happen like sickness and pregnancy so we try to be kind and make exceptions to our rule where we can.  They are few and far between.

This rule may sound rigid but when you are responsible for what goes on at a co-op, we take it seriously. Children grow into teens with natural feelings for the opposite sex, a child may have unknown allergies or behavioral problems and if anything goes wrong at a co-op, it is wise for a parent to always be there.

Also, we make it clear that extra children couldn’t come that were not approved. Again, this keeps drama in your co-op down to a minimum because some mom decided it was good to bring an extra 5  kids because she felt they needed to come. This doesn’t mean they can’t, just address it whether you want that or not. We feel it is rude to do this when one homeschool mom has worked hard on preparing lessons and crafts and then doesn’t have enough because extra children showed up.  Like I have mentioned before, communication is the vital life blood of a thriving co-op.

We have a real simple rule about participation and that is you have to come at least to 1 event. Of course our members came to many normally after they attended one, but this shows we are serious about participation.

About Rules 4 & 5.  Having one pay period per year works better for us because it makes for less time managing and more time for us to plan and have fun. Keep the collecting money process down to the shortest time possible.

Too, though it may be convenient for members to pay by pay pal, we don’t accept it because pay pal charges a fee. Even a small fee is too much when every penny counts. It may be more hassle to send it snail mail, but you get every penny.  Make it easy on members to pay, but not at the expense of having less money when you probably don’t charge much to begin with.

Dress can be a sensitive subject. Some of our members live in more fashion conscious areas and others do not.  We don’t allow members to impose their views on others.  Too, we didn’t make a laundry list of what is right and wrong because we don’t want to impose our views either.

I happen to love clothes, makeup, especially bright red lipstick and all the accessories, but if another person’s view made them dress differently, that is fine too.

Our leaders are not narrow minded, but try to be open to many styles while still being modest. We only have a few rules like no real short shorts , low cut blouses and no T-shirts for boys or girls that had suggestive language. When something like this came up and we saw something we didn’t agree with, we handled it privately with the member and tried to be kind and loving. It did happen quite a bit because everybody thinks differently, but we always seem to resolve it when we are kind.

About Rules, 6, 7 & 8.  We have to know something about our members before they received an invitation to join. Answering serious questions first before they got on the group kept us from having to dismiss  members after they were on the group. In other words, joining a co-op should be a 2 way interview process. They should be asking what you offer and how you run things and you should be “interviewing” them.

Besides the general questions about the basics of address and kids, we wanted to know how many children they were schooling. Also we wanted to know what their views are on homeschooling. We ask this not to be nosey, but if they have kids that were in trouble in public school and it’s because they have been lax in parenting, we don’t really want that trouble to follow them to our co-op.  Their reply privately to you as group leaders reveals their heart and what kind of member they will be.

One really important question on our questionnaire is “Have you or any of your family members been accused of being a pedophile?”  In our co-op, we don’t care if they have been cleared innocent or not, our group is private and we can make rules like nobody accused, whether presumed innocent or guilty can be part of our group.

Sure they can reply how they want to but two things happen here: 1) The family knows your serious about watching your group 2) You have an answer to the group if the horrible thing ever happens where a pedophile enters your co-op.  Having this questionnaire shows you have tried to do your job well in protecting the group and have background information on everybody in the group.

There are many ways to communicate to members. When a group is new and not many members, it is easier to communicate through phone. The larger the group grows the more you need to stay balanced and not forget your own children’s education. A better way of communication is needed. Sure, it is  easy to text but it can be rude when your group is larger and because you may be in the middle of school too.

Our main method of communicating to members is using a yahoo group. If I talked to all of our members or texted them,  I would not get anything done in my home. Yahoo groups are good for planning and answering and setting up polls to see who is coming.

One feature we have that is a *must* is that emails are set to *individual* emails. We are not going to email important notices and then be read or seen days later. If your group gets too many “chatty” emails, then moderate the group. This has been our time tested method and it is still great today.

We also have geographical limits for our members.  We live in a big city and near Houston so we want to be sure our members can make it to field trips and events.  Again, this lets the group know you are serious about participation and your group is not just for online chatting.

About Rule 10. You think it goes without saying in a homeschool group you don’t allow bullies and cussing but you’d be surprised. Some parents make excuses for their children’s behavior. Again, handling it privately as each occurrence comes up kept drama out of the co-op.  Sometimes we wouldn’t have to dismiss members because after we talked to them about their children’s behavior, they got defensive and they never came back. This happened just a few times. The other parents appreciated being told because they may have been busy talking and visiting. Understanding that children can be children goes a long way too in not judging others so harshly because I recognize that my kids are subject to misbehaving too.

We happen to like toddlers and preschoolers moving around and don’t expect them to sit and be quiet like older children. They are suppose to move. Older children learn that a co-op though should be fun is still school.

Spend time thinking about guidelines and your group will have many lasting memories because each member cherishes it. My sons have made life-long friends. Too, the value of seeing each other year after year gives them a sense of classmates and some as close as family.

All the work myself, Kelley and Cynthia have put into our co-op has been worth every stressing detail though we didn’t think that at the moment.

Meeting with the group is something we ALL look forward to each month and it one of the highlights of our journey.  We have more loved homeschooling friends that I ever could have imagined.

Throughout the years we have made many cherished memories of which I have shared only a few today and we plan on making more.

Are you a homeschooling co-op convert?

If you missed the other days, here is your Homeschooling Co-op 101 guide:

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 1:Who needs one anyway?

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 2:What are the basics?

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 3: Coordinating the Co-op

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 4: Co-op Core Leaders Matter

Hugs and love ya,

Co-op core leaders was an area of concern that held me back from becoming a co-op convert. You don’t have to homeschool for any length of time to figure out that a clash of personalities among leaders can break the spirit of a co-op.

Having a co–op that I cherish, I want to share some pointers and tips on what to look for in individuals who want to help lead a co-op.

Though a willing spirit is certainly a positive, it is not the only thing to look for if you want to successfully lead a co-op. There is no other way to say it except that I look for individuals that are there to “serve” instead of being looked to as “Leader” or looking at the co-op as a way to benefit their family only. The dogged determination to plan even when a leader is feeling a bit ill, her kids have been sick or other pressures of life have caught her feeling swamped is a beautiful quality. It is inherent or part of her make-up. In this world where folks only look after themselves, I place a high priority on persons who give of themselves willingly year after year.

I have known more leaders who at the first sign of stress, throw in the planning towel without a consideration to the rest of the leaders.

One of the leaders I ask to join was actually hesitant, which is a good quality. This means she is thinking seriously about this role and how to preserve the co-op.  Instead of jumping willy nilly into it, it shows maturity on her part.

It is natural to want to look competent always in front of other homeschoolers, but a leader can set herself up for a big disappointment.  Any successful co-op is always the work of a group.

Do not look for the laughing- we can do this–probably has no clue mom who shows up at all the events having suggestions. You don’t need flighty leaders. It is easy to suggest change, but quite a different thing to roll your sleeves up and do something about it yourself. Look at individuals with a realistic sense of what can be accomplished instead of idealistic.

Look for individuals who are not like you because they can bring another whole set of strengths to the group. You need to ask yourself: What qualities do I bring to the co-op? Answer truthfully and not something that you think other people want to hear.

For me, though I like crafts sometimes, I know I will never be Artsy Craftsy Tina. I do love to create things hands-on for my kids, but if you have a true friend like I do that is naturally crafty, you see her value. The creative ideas she has that brings an element of fun to your co-op  are true treasures. I value her. In the same vein, she can appreciate my ability to organize an agenda and mind the details that are needed for a co-op. It is a much needed partnership based on mutual respect and cooperating with each other.

The third co-op leader in our group, Kelley, loves the technical aspect of things and knows how to draft a “mean what I say email” when one is needed as a group reminder. She works well with details that are laid out and goes over any spots other leaders may have missed. She too appreciates the value of a person that has been gifted with sharing arts and crafts with the group. When she handles money or even the technical details of any function, you can bet your co-op will run smoothly because she has a natural bent for checking things like that over.

The key to a unified board is that all of the persons respect each other and their strengths. It goes further too. They need to see that though they may have a different opinion about a matter that falls squarely into somebody else’s expertise, they have to yield to the person who has a natural bent that way.

That is not easy to do in a world that touts how important you are. However, none of the leaders can forget the reason for joining our hands and voices together. We do this for the children. It goes without saying that co-op leaders though not free of hurt feelings can not wear them on their sleeves. A group cannot survive if the co-op leaders quarrel too because it is sure to happen among the members.

It is not just the moms who say they want to help, but it is the moms who say they want to work, serve and help preserve peace.

The last important thing is to present a united front. No leader wants to be disliked in a group. So when you have rules, it is important to present a united front on the rules and not make only one person do this. That means to take the not so fun part of a co-op, rule enforcing, along with the fun interactive part of a co-op.

Look at a list of these things below that helps us in our co-op to present a united front.

• Share one common email so that all leaders get the same message.
• Discuss the issues presented at any co-op or field trips privately.
• When releasing rules to the group, do that with the group email so the group sees it is a united front.
• Agree on a few rules. You won’t be able to cover everything, but if a family sees a few rules like 10 or so and not pages and pages, they are more likely to feel warm and welcomed. As issues come up that have not been listed, you can discuss privately and let that individual know.
• As the leader, be sure your family sticks to the rules too. Become a co-op model member too.

It helps to have a balance of personalities though they may clash with you at times because a co-op is much more healthier and energized. It will grow if you have done your jobs well. We grew from 6 families to well over 100, then had to cut it in half because it was too many families for us to manage without adding more core leaders.

Look at this list below of what each type of leader would do in a co-op.

Crafty person

Always has the best ideas for decorating the co-op.

She is very good at gathering games that are appropriate for each level and leading the games.  She is very fun and warm and the children like her.

She is the decorator for the co–op and normally has ideas for making it easier to decorate.

She can come up with plays if you incorporate that into your co-op.

Technical Person

Good at coming up with how the duties need to be balanced among the leaders when it comes to the “behind the scenes” duties.

Excellent at keeping up with the group’s money.

Excellent at answering email to the group.

Could help in any technical matter related to putting on the co-op.

She works well with the crafty and organizer person both to help and give a hand if needed for finishing any tasks.

Organizer

Good at setting the co-op, time and dates and reminds the group.

Good emcee who keeps the co-op running smoothly along and keeps it moving along so that the co-op starts and ends on time. There is nothing more frustrating than leaders who do not start/stop on time.

A great resource for finding things in the community like speakers to line up for the group.

Can obtain a location and coordinate with persons or business that they rent a location from.

What do you think? Do you know a person or two like this that could form part of your co-op core board?

Hugs and love ya,

If you missed the other days, grab them here.

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 1:Who needs one anyway?

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 2:What are the basics?

5 Days of A Homeschooling Co-op Convert – Day 3: Coordinating the Co-op