I don’t want to sound cliché, but I treasure the moments of homeschooling testosterone armed teen boys. Thinking back when all the boys were real young, my sis came over to my house one day with her girls, which are about the same age as my boys. We were not only discussing how to homeschool boys, but also how we could join forces to homeschool our kids together.
How to Easily Homeschool Boys
When we looked up, my boys were outside in the yard with tree branches fighting and her girls were inside coloring pages, inside the lines no doubt.
(Boys to …………..
I didn’t speak out loud what I thought of her girls, but she did later about my boys.
She discussed with me about putting my boys on medication and I silently thought she had beaten the life out of her girls to the point they had no personality or energy either one.
I didn’t really speak out too because deep down I had a nagging fear that something might actually be wrong with my boys.
We both had our first glimpse of the opposite gender of which neither one of us had any experience handling. Fast forward many years later, I never put my boys on medication because I knew as the mom that they were boys.
What does that mean? It means they learn differently than girls when they are young and it means more noticeable differences happen in the teen years.
Much of my work in disciplining my sons did come when they were younger because I was trying to teach them to sit still when they really needed to wiggle.
When my sis and I would meet together, I would be the one with my hands full as my time was spent beating my boys, mmmm, I meant settling fights and prodding the boys to complete their work.
As my sons have morphed into the teen years, my work as mentor has not stopped. It has required more finesse, patience and respect of the fact that they are born with an inward need to exercise authority even over me and a some lot of days that set my not so laid back personality in a frenzy.
Because homeschooling is not just an adventure for my boys, but a journey in learning year by year for me too, I want to share a few things that worked and did not work for me as I homeschool teen boys.
……. Men)
1). Embrace the differences. As my middle son, Mr. Awesome approaches completing his high school years, his relationship with me is different than Mr. Senior 2013. Unlike Mr. Senior 2013, Mr. Awesome wants very clear cut guidelines as to what is expected of him in high school for each year. So I changed the way I prepared his high school curriculum without giving up some of what his father and I required of him in high school.
For example, with Mr. Senior 2013, we planned his high school together each year. With Mr. Awesome, I planned for two years and he is taking an online school for the next two years.
I still have some classes we do together like geography and some history, but he wanted an outside source. I admit I was a bit disappointed, but then I have to remember that I have hopefully modeled the art of reasonableness and more importantly considered his needs and differences in high school.
Some things have not been different than Mr. Senior 2013 like my middles son’s need to also question my decision making ability now.
Mr. Senior 2013 and I had many head butting sessions, which only ended with me physically and mentally exhausted. Having gone through the rooster syndrome with my oldest son, I was a bit more equipped this time with Mr. Awesome.
Blessing and Challenges of Homeschooling Teen Boys
Instead of taking his questioning my authority as a personal assault, I realized his need to start exercising his thinking ability to make good decisions. If he does not start learning when and how to question decisions now, then how will he be able to make good decisions on his own and then to care for a family later?
Understanding this has helped me a bit more to have patience when I am questioned about every school subject. It is on the job training for the preparation of the challenges of manhood.
2.) Figure Head of Male Authority a Need. I sympathize with those single moms, but even they can provide a positive male role model. It may be their father, uncle or other close friend or family member. Men just have an unspoken word among themselves when it comes to male bonding time.
It is not that a single mom cannot homeschool a testosterone packing teen, but it sure makes her job easier to have a male figure to turn to.
In all my worry, both of my sons lapped up the influence by my husband and his time as he models the kind of men I want my sons to become.
Too, my husband is able to help my sons to accept the fact that as mom, they need to learn how to accept my authority.
Applying this to homeschooling has not always been easy, but I try to do my part in always listening to what each of my sons have to say no matter how trivial it may seem.
Admitting that I too make mistakes and want them to learn to make capable decisions independent of a woman (though always listening to sound advice by either a man or woman) has always been a good stepping stone to them completing assignments or subjects that my husband and I have planned for them.
This goes back to appreciating the fact that they are a different gender and their need to exercise domination and independence is such an intrinsic part of homeschooling each day.
It is hard to separate the parenting from homeschooling during the teen years.
3.) Create A World Separate From Yours. Again I noticed the slight differences between my teen boys when it comes to having other teen friends and have had to adjust to their needs. Mr. Senior 2013 was more content with just a few friends though he still needed a sphere of friends outside of our family.
Mr. Awesome on the other hand has a stronger need for more socialization with teens. He has a more-the-merrier attitude when it comes to other teens and even other people.
Creating opportunities for both my sons to interact with both teen boys and girls has been some of the hardest work on my part beyond academics.
Our homeschool co-op, church activities, fun sports and group field trips just for teens have been some of my best life saving tips to fill my boys need for the right kind of association.
Coming up in more articles about how to homeschool teen boys, I will be sharing specific curriculum that clicked better for us and more specifics as to how boys learn.
Your turn. Have you hit a brick wall when homeschooling your tween or teen boy? What tips work for you?
Hugs and love ya,
Want to brush up on some more tips for homeschooling teens?
Homeschooling Middle School Doesn’t Always Mean Middle Way
Homeschool Writing Program for Middle and High School
Homeschool High School Readiness?
Michelle Cannon says
I like how you considered how their need to question may help them in life. I’ve always encouraged questioning of authority. Always. But I also am one of those crunchy moms who questions all authority. Funny thing: I’ve raised 4 girls and 1 boy and I never really thought about “differences” and always loathed the “boys will be boys” phrase. I thought “No, people will be people.” Yeah. I know. I’m odd.
I never really had a male role model for my son. I am not sure if it made a differences or not. I’m so left-brained (analytical, logical, head before heart), that I figured my personality was a good fit. Turns out he’s a right-brained, artistic, feeling human. Oh well. It all worked out somehow. 😀
Michelle Cannon recently posted…Eating Healthy on a Single Mom Budget
Lucinda says
I love your celebration of homeschooling boys! I have one of each. My daughter is a tomboy and all her friends are boys, yet she is infinitely more likely to sit still and focus on a project than my son, who can only do maths while bouncing around the room!
Lucinda recently posted…A week in the life of a British homeschooling family – Friday
Tina Robertson says
Hey Linda,
It must be nice to have the “balance” between the two genders for sure. But so true..lol that sometimes it’s hard to say for sure that they are either way because personality plays a huge part.
Have to love boys and let ’em bounce around!!
Loved your comment!
Dia says
Hi! I love reading your blog and am somewhat envious of your move. I hope you are having a great time in your new home!
I imagine after this post you’ll be inundated with replies from moms with girls. I have two girls who certainly don’t color in the lines, but it’s funny, because I totally “get” them, but totally don’t get boys. I suppose if I’d had boys I would. I don’t want to comment on how I don’t beat my girls into submission or anything like that,or anything negative about how you deal with your boys, ’cause I know you’re a great mom, but I just wanted to say that it’s funny how different they are.
Tina Robertson says
Hey Dia,
I just LOVED hearing from you!! I will continue to share more pictures about my move for and your kids :o)
Ha ha, I think I am more “bark than bite” with my boys, but like girls they need lots of love, assurance, hugs and talking until you think you will drop.
It’s so hard to put the genders in “cans” isn’t it? They are all so different!!
Loved your comment and thanks for following!!!
Hugs