When You Feel Like a Homeschool Failure

Admitting homeschool failure is not easy. Homeschooling has always been the right choice for our family although many years I wasn’t sure if I was the right teacher for the job.

When you feel like a homeschool failure as a teacher, it can be a pretty gray period because you feel like you have really messed up your children.

I was a contributing factor for Mr. Senior 2013 getting behind in math.

Yep I did, I messed him up. First, let me tell what I did and then tell you what I learned.

Homeschool Failure or Wrong Ways to Homeschool?

We had been using Math U See and I didn’t think he was absorbing the formulas as well as I thought he should; I switched him to Teaching Textbooks right before high school.

Shortly after we started using it during high school, I realized that Teaching Textbooks put him behind and that he was actually ahead of where I thought he was. 

So we switched back to Math U See.

Can I just tell you how bad I felt?

Although I had been homeschooling for a while, I still didn’t recognize that Mr. Senior 2013 was just at a plateau and that some of the concepts he would soon understand.

Look at some of these tips that helped me to sort through the feelings of failure I had and get us back on track.

What if they are not just getting it? 

This is a tough one because each child is different and many factors affect whether or not your child is understanding a certain subject or curriculum.

Looking back now, I should have backed up to the point where Mr. Senior 2013 understood the curriculum and isolate the math concept instead of right thinking it was the total curriculum.

When I did this later on after I made the switch of course, I realized he was getting most of Math U See, but had only reached some upper level math that required a bit more time to understand.

Questioning Your Homeschool

I knew Mr. Senior’s 2013 ability to work at higher levels and instead of accepting his difficulties as part of his development, I thought he needed to keep sprinting forward. Pushing was the mistake on my part.

I knew Mr. Senior 2013 excelled at math and did not need constant repetition.

Instead of trusting his learning style, I was afraid that I was going to hold him back and in the process I did.

What I am trying to say is that his learning style was not going to change over night and I should have looked at other things that affected him instead of just the curriculum.

What do I feel like we are going backwards? That was another question I had to ask myself.

I had to analyze everything we were doing. Was I not spending enough time with him because the younger boys were tugging at my time?

Was his schedule too full?

Knowing that Mr. Senior 2013 flourished with routine, was I allowing too many outside activities to interfere with our routine.  These were all questions I had to go back and answer.

As I have learned now, one solution would have been to take off a month and do review and go back over previous mastered material.

I could have easily grabbed one of those inexpensive work texts and just let him sat at his comfortable level for a bit until the frustration passed.

It was hard for me to come up with that solution because math is one of his best subjects.

I just didn’t realize then that my kids would even need to step back in subjects they excelled in.

Last thing I wanted to do was to bore him with previous mastered material.

That was just the thing he needed as he was going through a period of physical growth.

School had to to take a second seat to allow time for his physical and emotional development.

Is the problem in just one subject? This is another tell-tale sign of how I knew it was developmental.

When we had problems before, it was normally one subject and that is a clue that maybe I needed to switch out that one curriculum.

Other things were going on in my son’s life that helped me to see that the curriculum was not the culprit.

He pretty much struggled with the everyday basics of doing school.

I didn’t take this lightly because this was my kid who was such a joy to teach because he loved routine and didn’t have to be told to start school.

Again, it’s easier to look back now. At the time I felt like I pretty much was failing my child because I didn’t have the luxury of looking forward.

Mr. Senior 2013 was going through changes when I did a honest self-evaluation.

He was getting real mouthy, disagreeing pretty much with everything I said, started looking for a job and expressed his concern about supporting himself.

I finally understood that when I felt like a homeschool failure that my son needed me more than ever. Not all failures are a “curriculum thing”.

He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with our homeschooling because of his inexperience. 

I needed to step up and help us sort through it without my son feeling like I was going to send him to public school or throw in the towel either one.

Instead of feeling like a homeschool failure, I realized the time was closing in on how much time I would have with Mr. Senior 2013.

Mistake I Will Never Make Again

I focused on the satisfaction of knowing that his changes in puberty was a part of his life that I was proud to be part of as me and my husband guided him along.

Experiences like feeling like a homeschool failure build a deep down resolve and dogged determination to keep on homeschooling when you come through them and can finally pinpoint the problem.

Update 2020: As I write this, my three kids have graduated and are now adults. I’m mentoring a preschooler.

All the tears, all the worry, all the stress pales into comparison to how well-rounded and successful each of my kids are. What I’ve learned is that teaching my kids about defeat, how to get up, and move on have been of way more value in their every day life than being behind.

I’ve learned it was IMPOSSIBLE to teach everything, but I taught them how to research everything they wanted to know. When they have perceived gaps now as adults, they are not intimidated. I can’t hold back my happy tears.

Moms, you GOT THIS!

Look at these other tips about how to find solutions when you feel like nothing is working.

• The Dos and Don’ts When You Hit A Learning Plateau in Homeschooling
• When You Are Afraid of Homeschool Science Gaps
• First Time Homeschool Mom: Am I Doing This Right?
• 65 Best Teaching Tips for Embracing Homeschooling Multiple Ages and Ideas You Wished You Knew Earlier
• 15 Old-Fashioned Useful Skills Homeschoolers Love To Teach
• How to Mesh Your Personality With Homeschooling When They Collide
• 100 Reasons Why Homeschooling is a SUPERIOR Education
• How to Know What A Homeschooled Child Should Learn Yearly?
• Homeschool Critics: How Do You Know You’re on Track?

What about you? Does this resonate with you?

Hug and love ya,