When you hear about the success (or so it seems anyway) of other homeschool families and their kids while your kid whines and won’t do anything other than what is absolutely necessary to get by for the day, it is the ultimate discouragement and makes you feel like a complete failure.
Today in sharing 4 reasons your homeschooled child is uninspired to learn, I am giving you some tried-and-trued tips that have worked for others that I supported when they got to a brick wall. Some kids too are just not excited about anything and that can be tough.
I hope this insight moves you to not give up on homeschool. You deserve to have a peaceful home without the fights, back talking and every day arguing.
Complacency can be a killer.
Children are no different than we are when it comes to being affected by their environment.
If they feel that their home learning environment is the same as public school, which they may be contented with, they may see no difference in how they are learning. Have you taken time to explore methods that work for your children or are you modeling public school?
Resentment sets in because a child may feel that public school was fine for him and he has very little motivation to change his day.
Homeschooling works when you embrace a life style change. Your child needs to know that homeschool and school at home are two very different concepts. See my article, The Great Homeschool Hoax – Public School At Home to be sure you are aware of the two very different educational models.
Forget strong-willed, the kid is a rebel.
There are many reasons that a child rebels and not all of them are necessarily signs that a child will go wayward. Children are affected by change or stress in their life. Childhood is all about constant change, so it’s not so easy to detect rebellion versus a silent cry for help.
However, if a child is outright rejecting your authority all the time and not just during school time, the problem more than likely is a discipline problem.
Let me say this again because it’s a subtle, but powerful detail to remember when you are having conflict. Here it is:Pay attention to what is going and to when you see rebellion. If it’s just during school time, it could be a struggle with their workload.
Are You Breeding Rebellion? (gulp)
Your child may be rebelling because he is drowning under the weight of a curriculum or approach that is not working for him. He doesn’t need discipline then, he needs relief, compassion and a champion to help him sort out what is not working for him.
However, if acting up or rebellion is most of the day and not just at school time and he is constantly arguing with you about everything, fighting with siblings and intentionally disrupting the entire day, then it could be rebelliousness. You will then need clear sanctions for his behavior.
If that is the case, it is better to put school aside or slow it down until you restore your relationship.
While you address the rebellion, which is stressful enough, keep school very light. It teaches your child too that while school is important, he is what matters most.
Grab some more tips in my article, 3 Wrongs Ways to Homeschool a Hot Headed Child.
Your “Ambitious” Planning Can Bite You Back.
Hiding my over planning insanity under the cover of “organized” for the year, I had to change. I too made the mistake of being over ambitious.
And no matter how many times we hear it, we forget it. Homeschooling is about finding what works for your child and not trying to make him somebody he is not.
Look at my points in my article, Homeschooling for the Love of Learning – Does it Really Work because ambitious homeschooling has a way of biting back.
In our enthusiasm we may be hurting our child because we could be setting curriculum goals, which may be impossible for a child to reach.
Helping many parents with planning, I know they want the best for their child. However, instead of teaching a child to love learning for intrinsic value, which is one of the greatest motivators to intelligence and by setting impossible goals, they set their child on the path to disappointment, burnout and exhaustion. It’s hard to come back from that.
Spending time reading aloud together (yes even with a teen in high school) can restore relationships. Check out my tips at Homeschooled Kids Who Read – Pastime Pleasure or Professional Prerequisite.
A child is either behind or advanced in grade level.
A child can advance by two grade levels or be totally bored with the curriculum. Learning is an ebb and flow and if we get too comfortable as parents with the same curriculum, we could be adding to a child’s lack of motivation for learning.
Homeschooling is about changes and if we are not challenging our children when they need it or delay the next concept or grade level to allow them to reach the next level when they’re ready, then we are fostering exasperation.
Grab some tips on finding a balance here at Helping our Homeschool Children Find their Inner Drive When We are Not Sure We Have It.
Setbacks are part of homeschooling and because homeschooling is parenting, it takes a thick skin to not view your child’s challenges as a personal assault.
Step back from school, do the core subjects until you find the problem. Identifying the problem is more than half the battle because then it gives you a starting point for a solution.
Has your child lost his love for learning? You are NOT alone.
Hugs and love ya,
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Michelle Cannon says
I love how you used the word “rebel.” Strong-willed and stubborn behavior are OPPOSITES.
Tina Robertson says
Hey Michelle,
For sure!!! Behaviors are just signs something isn’t right…doesn’t mean kids WANT to be that way…
Always love your comments!!