As homeschool parents it seems that we can face one set of tough decisions after the other.
At the top of things that can divide a homeschool family is when a child wants to return to public school.
When a child is unhappy at home, why do we take a poll of our parenting skills?
How to Measure Homeschool Success?
It’s normal because we care.
There is nothing wrong with checking our emotions because we can’t let pride hold us back from doing what is best for our child.
Does a 10 year old really know what he wants to do?
Is a 16 year old capable of making a decision that will make him happy?
How can we determine what is best for our child?
Instead of being judgmental when someone is faced with the decision of whether or not to return a child to public school, I want to share a few points to ponder when facing this gut wrenching decision.
-
Determine the root cause.
I have seen many scenarios through the years of homeschoolers who returned their kids to public school.
Getting to the root cause of the unhappiness in our child is a must.
One homeschool family I mentored had kids that were unhappy because their family made many moves and changes during the year.
The children were craving routine and stability in their lives.
Their son struggled horribly in public school before bringing him home.
That wasn’t going to change if they decided to put him back in school.
The family made a faithful attempt from then on to keep things the same and add routine to what was too much of a relaxed schedule for their son.
-
Do You Accept that Your Best is Good Enough?
Another example of discontentment in our children can be the fact that mom might have to work.
Even if mom does not work full time, a part time job still takes time.
I have helped homeschool moms working part time as a bus driver for public school, running a day care in her home, working as a night nurse and selling products by going to other people’s homes.
Do your best to give your children what they need as far as field trips and making new friends while you also provide a living for them. Then, accept the fact that you are giving your very best to your children.
We would never ask our children to give anymore then what they could, then we shouldn’t set a negative example by doing that to our self.
Let go of feelings of guilt.
Though a child may not want you to go to work at night or babysit other kids in your home, as they grow older they will appreciate your dedication, deep love and conviction to provide for them.
Can you give your child some of your exclusive time? Little ones take naps if you have a day care in your home and the mom that drove the public school bus had a good amount of time off during her lunch time, which she spent exclusively with her kids.
Both of these families realized that their kids needed some exclusive time during the day.
-
List It.
Like us, kid sometimes want to believe in the grass is greener attitude.
I have found that by sitting down and listing exactly what they think they are missing out on because of homeschooling, then the true effects of any potential decision can be weighed.
What do they like about traditional public school? What do they like about homeschooling?
Looking at it this way also helps a child learn how to weigh out decisions not just now but in the future when decisions are more significant.
Seeing pros and cons written down concretely versus what floats around in our mind can be an eye opener.
It also solidifies any decision you have to make.
Instead of failing at homeschool when a child is unhappy, I have often found too that a family just hasn’t quite found what works for their particular circumstance.
It may be a need for change in their routine. They may need a more relaxed one or they may need to buckle up and buckle down on their routine.
Too, circumstances are ever changing and only each family can ask questions like:
- Is the extra income worth it?
- Can I carve out time, even one hour, to be with the child that is unhappy?
- Can I implement the suggestions that my child made?
A lot of children are just too young to make a decision for their happiness.
As parents we are not looking for just momentary happiness but the decision that is best for them lifelong.
What will they say when they get older and look back at their education?
Finding the root cause of a child’s unhappiness, being content with the very best we can give our kids if our time is split and helping our children to get real about what they think they are actually missing out in traditional school gives you a solid starting point for making the best decision for your family.
Though in my heart, I believe that homeschooling is the best decision for any family, I know that there are just some things that can’t be controlled.
I encourage you to make the best of your homeschooling circumstances.
Sometimes when we think we want relief by sending them to public school, we find that what drew us to homeschooling in the first place still exists.
What advice do you give somebody that is thinking about sending their kids back to public school?
Hugs and love ya,
Check out these resources for when homeschooling gets tough:
Look at these articles too:
Homeschooling – A Trial Run?
Cultivating the Desire to Homeschool
Finding Joy in Homeschool When You’re Not Really Feeling It
Leave a Reply