5 days of a homeschooling co-op convert-day 5: cherished co-ops

{Warning: Picture Overload Again. This got long because I have many pictures & memories we have created so far that I want to share with you. So I am scattering them throughout this post.}

Nobody wants to be part of a co-op that does not flourish. It flourishes not because of the work of other people but because each leader and all the members work at creating an atmosphere for learning and lasting memories.

Co-ops can go from cherished to a flop if you don’t have communication, a clear purpose on the existence of the group, a few clear cut ground rules, realistic ways to solve the costs and expenses of the group, and leadership with joy.

I got ask to share some of the ground rules we have. Giving you some of my thinking and experience behind the rules, I hope helps you to make the right rules for your co-op.

Don’t overwhelm new members with rules but a few well chosen rules keeps expectations clear. It should take you longer to read this post than it should a new member to read the list. Be precise and clear so that your group attracts the members that you want in your co-op.

About Rule 1. Our group is private and you have to know somebody before you join. We feel this keeps drama down to a minimum. Normally a friend that is already having fun in the co-op can be your best advocate if things go awry or if the guidelines are not understood by a new member.

You think it’s a given that participation is required, but you’d be surprised. There are a number of people who join a group and like reading the group’s email behind the computer, but shows up rarely because of one excuse or another. If the very purpose of your co-op is to socialize, like ours is, then you want active families. Our co-op is private because we would rather grow with few active participants than many who are not. It didn’t’ take long for word to get out and our group grew fast in a few years.

About Rules 2, 3 & 9. We didn’t want a group that was drop off and go. The purpose of a our co-op is so that families participate together. We have the rule that a guardian or parent has to be present. We don’t care if families agree between themselves that another mom can bring a child, they have to contact us first to approve this. Things happen like sickness and pregnancy so we try to be kind and make exceptions to our rule where we can. They are few and far between.

This rule may sound rigid but when you are responsible for what goes on at a co-op, we take it seriously. Children grow into teens with natural feelings for the opposite sex, a child may have unknown allergies or behavioral problems and if anything goes wrong at a co-op, it is wise for a parent to always be there.

Also, we make it clear that extra children couldn’t come that were not approved. Again, this keeps drama in your co-op down to a minimum because some mom decided it was good to bring an extra 5 kids because she felt they needed to come. This doesn’t mean they can’t, just address it whether you want that or not. We feel it is rude to do this when one homeschool mom has worked hard on preparing lessons and crafts and then doesn’t have enough because extra children showed up. Like I have mentioned before, communication is the vital life blood of a thriving co-op.

We have a real simple rule about participation and that is you have to come at least to 1 event. Of course our members came to many normally after they attended one, but this shows we are serious about participation.

About Rules 4 & 5. Having one pay period per year works better for us because it makes for less time managing and more time for us to plan and have fun. Keep the collecting money process down to the shortest time possible.

Too, though it may be convenient for members to pay by pay pal, we don’t accept it because pay pal charges a fee. Even a small fee is too much when every penny counts. It may be more hassle to send it snail mail, but you get every penny. Make it easy on members to pay, but not at the expense of having less money when you probably don’t charge much to begin with.

Dress can be a sensitive subject. Some of our members live in more fashion conscious areas and others do not. We don’t allow members to impose their views on others. Too, we didn’t make a laundry list of what is right and wrong because we don’t want to impose our views either.

I happen to love clothes, makeup, especially bright red lipstick and all the accessories, but if another person’s view made them dress differently, that is fine too.

Our leaders are not narrow minded, but try to be open to many styles while still being modest. We only have a few rules like no real short shorts , low cut blouses and no T-shirts for boys or girls that had suggestive language. When something like this came up and we saw something we didn’t agree with, we handled it privately with the member and tried to be kind and loving. It did happen quite a bit because everybody thinks differently, but we always seem to resolve it when we are kind.

About Rules, 6, 7 & 8. We have to know something about our members before they received an invitation to join. Answering serious questions first before they got on the group kept us from having to dismiss members after they were on the group. In other words, joining a co-op should be a 2 way interview process. They should be asking what you offer and how you run things and you should be “interviewing” them.

Besides the general questions about the basics of address and kids, we wanted to know how many children they were schooling. Also we wanted to know what their views are on homeschooling. We ask this not to be nosey, but if they have kids that were in trouble in public school and it’s because they have been lax in parenting, we don’t really want that trouble to follow them to our co-op. Their reply privately to you as group leaders reveals their heart and what kind of member they will be.

One really important question on our questionnaire is “Have you or any of your family members been accused of being a pedophile?” In our co-op, we don’t care if they have been cleared innocent or not, our group is private and we can make rules like nobody accused, whether presumed innocent or guilty can be part of our group.

Sure they can reply how they want to but two things happen here: 1) The family knows your serious about watching your group 2) You have an answer to the group if the horrible thing ever happens where a pedophile enters your co-op. Having this questionnaire shows you have tried to do your job well in protecting the group and have background information on everybody in the group.

There are many ways to communicate to members. When a group is new and not many members, it is easier to communicate through phone. The larger the group grows the more you need to stay balanced and not forget your own children’s education. A better way of communication is needed. Sure, it is easy to text but it can be rude when your group is larger and because you may be in the middle of school too.

Our main method of communicating to members is using a yahoo group. If I talked to all of our members or texted them, I would not get anything done in my home. Yahoo groups are good for planning and answering and setting up polls to see who is coming.

One feature we have that is a *must* is that emails are set to *individual* emails. We are not going to email important notices and then be read or seen days later. If your group gets too many “chatty” emails, then moderate the group. This has been our time tested method and it is still great today.

We also have geographical limits for our members. We live in a big city and near Houston so we want to be sure our members can make it to field trips and events. Again, this lets the group know you are serious about participation and your group is not just for online chatting.

About Rule 10. You think it goes without saying in a homeschool group you don’t allow bullies and cussing but you’d be surprised. Some parents make excuses for their children’s behavior. Again, handling it privately as each occurrence comes up kept drama out of the co-op. Sometimes we wouldn’t have to dismiss members because after we talked to them about their children’s behavior, they got defensive and they never came back. This happened just a few times. The other parents appreciated being told because they may have been busy talking and visiting. Understanding that children can be children goes a long way too in not judging others so harshly because I recognize that my kids are subject to misbehaving too.

We happen to like toddlers and preschoolers moving around and don’t expect them to sit and be quiet like older children. They are suppose to move. Older children learn that a co-op though should be fun is still school.

Spend time thinking about guidelines and your group will have many lasting memories because each member cherishes it. My sons have made life-long friends. Too, the value of seeing each other year after year gives them a sense of classmates and some as close as family.

All the work myself, Kelley and Cynthia have put into our co-op has been worth every stressing detail though we didn’t think that at the moment.

Meeting with the group is something we ALL look forward to each month and it one of the highlights of our journey. We have more loved homeschooling friends that I ever could have imagined.