Though I was a teenager, I clearly remember my mom visiting a homeschool mom to ask questions about homeschooling. This was back in the 80’s when homeschooled kids had to duck down in the backseat of the car if they were out during public school hours. Curriculum was not easy to find, organized field trips with a group were almost impossible and finding support for a homeschool mom was flat out hard.
However, out of all the things that seasoned homeschool mom could talk about, she ended up spending more time talking about the ways her husband helped her.
The Challenge Homeschool Dads Face
The longer I homeschool, the more I treasure those priceless tidbits shared by that seasoned homeschooling mom because they have been the same things that have kept me going though homeschool times have changed significantly.
Look at 3 things a homeschool mom wants from her husband (besides support).
1.Take the kids and leave.
Yes, taking the kids and leaving the house sounded harsh when that seasoned homeschool mom told my mother, but it’s so very true.
My husband, like a lot of other husbands who wholeheartedly support homeschooling felt like I wanted to leave the house to be by myself. Sometimes I did. A hair appointment without kids was the ultimate treat.
However, I soon realized that I was never at my home alone, with my thoughts, and at the place where I ultimately rested best.
This was especially true when the kids were all very little. When my husband took the kids and left the house, I felt an immediate stress release.
Some days I would catch up on things I wanted to around the house, but many times I just relaxed. Not that superficial relaxing where you know the kids will be back, but I fixated on making myself calm down completely so that I could rest and recuperate.
Of course, it matters how long they are gone, but even a few hours were enough to rejuvenate me.
2. Not just play with the kids, but find ways to roughhouse.
No, I don’t mean the kind of playing that most dads do naturally, but I mean the kind of playing and entertaining where kids can really let off some steam.
I thought it was just important when they kids were little, but I have learned that it is equally important when they are teens.
Let’s just face it, though we love our kids to pieces, we all get sick of looking at each other every day. Besides the normal getting outside to play, kids need time to roughhouse.
From what I have seen, it’s not just boys that like roughhousing. Girls can be just as active and need more than just playing outside or with dad too.
When Mr. Senior 2013 hit that real active stage, my husband cleared out the garage and set up a weight lifting bench and other exercise equipment in the garage. What a life saver for me from those raging hormones. That hadn’t even crossed my mind to set up an area like that because I was so hyper focused on homeschooling.
My niece wanted to jog every day and so she needed a way to get to the track since it was safer there. Dad to the rescue. That is one less thing for a homeschool mom to do at the end of the day when she is already tired.
3. Accept simple meals.
My father admits it. He never liked leftovers and my mom always tried to accommodate his wishes since my dad worked so very hard to provide us. That same mindset followed me to marriage and trickled over into my homeschooling.
However, there is one huge difference between my mom and myself and that is my mother only homeschooled one out of four kids. Too, my younger sister was in elementary school when my mom started and my mom had three other teen children at home who were quite capable of cooking and cleaning. She had a lot of help.
It is quite different when you homeschool more than one child and you start homeschooling all of your littles from the very beginning.
Completely stressed about meal planning, homeschooling and all the 1001 things I needed to do each day, I discussed it with my husband.
I was shocked because one thing I had not learned in all our years of being married is that he is all in for simple meals. Unlike my father, he was pretty easy going. With my dad, I too learned why he felt that way about food and things were just very different back in his day.
Of course, because my husband was easy going didn’t mean I was going to go overboard by not making delicious meals. He too works hard for us. It did, however, mean that some nights I needed a break and he believed that too.
Soon, I realized that simple meals could be just as delicious.
Things like having a quick breakfast for supper, hot sandwiches and soups and making one night a themed night like Italian food night gave me permission to stress less about simple meal planning.
There are a few other things I learned along the way about the help a homeschool mom needs, but these ways stood out to me today.
Clearly, I needed my husband involved in homeschooling besides just his general support.
Ideally, it would be great if dads could do projects or even school, but not all dads have that kind of time.
Instead of pining over what a dad can’t do because a lot of dads work full time, savor the times that your husband helps steer you through the challenges of homescooling.
Homeschool support from my husband goes beyond just approval, but it is shown in action.
Things that might seem little and natural to a homeschool father to do are meaningful and large ways to support to his wife.
What ways does your husband support you that you want to tell to the world?
Let other family members support you too.
Look at How Grandparents Can Inspire Your Homeschool Journey.
Hugs and love ya,
Grab some more go juice.
Homeschool Quitters, Dropouts and Wimps (Want to Join Me?)
Top 5 Tips for Homeschooling Parents
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Leslie says
I completely agree although you have some ideas like photography I hadn’t thought of. I would add science to your list.
Tiffany says
Yes!!! My husband never understands that I just want some time at home alone. Even if it’s while I’m cooking or cleaning or something that needs to be done- not having to be “on” for 20 minutes is so nice! Luckily, he enjoys cooking so he usually cooks when he’s home so I can’t complain there 🙂
Tina Robertson says
You hit the nail on the head. It is being ON..
Sometimes we don’t want to be “anything” lol
Good for you he cooks. My husband doesn’t cook and uhmmm, you wouldn’t want him to either.. lol lol lol
BUT, I love to cook and he loves to vacuum..lol
AnneMarie says
These are awesome ideas! Since our only child so far is still in my womb, we’re not homeschooling yet, but I can easily see the value to your suggestions. I particularly think that #1 is pretty neat-I’ve only ever though of the benefits of the mom leaving the house alone, and it never occurred to me that being at home all alone could be so rejuvenating. That’s a really neat perspective to offer! Thanks for linking up to Tuesday Talk! 🙂
Tina Robertson says
Hi Anne Marie,
Thanks for scooting by and CONGRATS!!
Yes, life is never the same again when the precious kids get here and that is okay because now we can’t imagine life without them.
But, those moments of silence or peace at home are rare…and though you don’t long for complete silence again..lol, you do long for moments stolen here and there and then they are extremely refreshing!!