Homeschooling Myths Debunked
Myth: “Familiarity Breeds Contempt.”
My experience: What a bunch of malarkey! Time spent with each other is priceless, precious and quickly passes when your children finish homeschool. My sons and I, including my husband, have only drawn closer to each other through our intimate time together.
Oh sure, if a person indulges their children in selfish behavior, allows siblings to talk to each other in a derogatory way and gives more respect to other people outside their home than their own family, I wouldn’t want to live in a home like that either.
It is true that homeschooling is at times more about parenting than it is actual academics. Homeschooling too is more stressful than any homeschool parent will admit at times. But we need to, because it is okay to be stressed and not feel that you have it all together each day. I certainly have had plenty of days like that.
Day to day living in a large household can be trying to say the least, but you have stress even if you lived alone. At home is where family members should receive warmth, comfort and love. When we stop parenting and accept negative behavior from any family member as normal, our home ceases to be a peaceful haven.
I have never been dogmatic about my choice to homeschool because I do feel it is a personal choice for each family. It is one thing to not have the circumstances at the moment to homeschool, but it’s another thing to stand behind homeschooling myths as an excuse to return to public school.
Learning how to get along with others in the outside world begins at home and not public school.
Sending your children away only mitigates any gaping hole in their personality that should be addressed immediately by the parent instead of waiting until their preteen or teen years. By that time it’s almost too late because the separation for some children gives them a feeling of abandonment.
Thoughtless words or words full of grace is your choice alone to model at home.
In my home, we always have room to improve listening to each other, sharing and giving, but I wouldn’t trade a moment away from each other for the closeness developed throughout the years.
Myth: “My child takes instruction from somebody else better.”
My experience: Ouch! This one hurts because sometimes the message a parent is sending is not clear. For example, is a parent saying that their child can’t be instructed?
What I normally find is that as children grow they need to be validated by sources outside of their family. This is perfectly normal because children need to learn how to be accepted by others. It could also be that a child is clamoring because of not having enough friends. Yes, this can happen in the homeschool world. Some children thrive and learn with plenty of people around while others learn better within a small group.
Finding the root cause of why you feel that somebody else will instruct your child better is key to finding the solution. Try to discern the true needs of your child instead of just taking as truth what they are saying. Children are uncertain at times as to what they need and feel overwhelmed too.
Not taking this as a personal affront, hard as it is, helps to clearly identify a solution that will keep you homeschooling.
When a parent totally turns over the teaching reins to somebody else because a child has been hard to teach, I find it sometimes is a parenting issue instead of a homeschool issue. Also, children can resent parents because they may not appreciate your protection.
Problems that a parent thinks will be addressed when the child is away only diminishes at the moment to return later as a more serious problem.
Myth: “How do you know what they are learning unless you test them?”
My experience: Especially for new homeschoolers, this is the hardest question to give assurance for because it requires a leap of faith—well almost. Unlike the ’70s or ’80s when our world was less digitally connected, it was harder to find stories of homeschool success. Oh stories of success existed because homeschooling trails were blazed by pioneers, but there were not easily found.
Today, you will find many stories from homeschooling parents who do not test to find out what their children are learning.
Homeschooling has been compared to rigorous, successful, private tutoring and rightly so. This too has been my same experience.
The few seasoned veterans I knew at the time I began to homeschool passionately protested that day to day teaching my sons would expose me to concepts that my sons both struggled with and mastered. I am forever grateful they had more confidence in my ability to teach my children than I did.
Teaching is not easy and it is an acquired art. Important qualifications to teaching are not just conferred by a degree, but life experiences, preparation and time spent learning on the job.
Time spent intimately day after day with your children sets you apart as as a tutor who knows exactly what her children are learning. Correcting immediately anything that my sons didn’t understand and expanding to great lengths when I needed to, I didn’t have to test to know their grade, or if they were passing or failing. My failures were immediately apparent, but so were my successes.
Why reduce the breadth of a child’s knowledge to a thirty question multiple choice test when I know right then whether they are getting it or not?
I have mentioned before that tests are just tools. If a tool becomes dull, it can become dangerous to use. If it is sharp, it can be used for a good purpose.
Tests have their value in high school whether your teen is applying for colleges or for a job. Too, a test may have a practical value in preventing reading problems. Using tests as a diagnostic tool can be of more value than using it as a measuring tool of what our child actually knows.
Throughout the years and without any prompting from me, my sons took the end of the unit tests in our curriculum. They always enjoyed using them as a review and to increase memory retention.
Now that my oldest son is doing college level work, no doubts are lingering as to the lack of my testing him in the early years. I knew what he was learning each day because I knew that I was teaching him each day.
3 Homeschooling Myths Debunked
Taking time to debunk popular homeschooling myths helps to avoid mommy guilt. Confronting head-on homeschooling myths that I have both encountered and that I hear from homeschoolers that I’ve helped through my New Bee program also deepens my dedication to homeschooling. It gives me a chance to ponder, because I know there is always room for improvement in both my parenting and homeschooling skills.
Look at some of these other empowering tips!
- After 20 years of homeschooling, the report is in. It’s ALL F’s
- Transitioning from a Public School Mindset to a Relaxed Homeschooling Lifestyle
- How To Fake Homeschooling
- Why Buying Curriculum Won’t Make You a Homeschooler (But What Will)
Also, you know I love ya, so check out my homeschool helps!
Have you encountered some of these same homeschooling myths?
Hugs and love ya,
Corina says
Great points! I homeschool my three children, and I don’t care about testing. I grew up in the German educational system, very rigorous, very disciplined, and as a student, I studied for my tests so I could get great grades, and then I promptly forgot everything when the test was over.
A bad way to learn!
Tina Robertson says
Hi Corina,
Yep, not alone and a lot of kids “learn’ that way. Loved hearing your personal story and thanks for sharing.
Sara says
We test, but the state requires it. Testing results have never been a big surprise.
As far as the 2nd myth, my children love learning from me when they’re little. As preteens and early teens they prefer Mom not to teach them. They learn excellent study skills as a result. Much to my amusement, I’m finding my older teens are quite comfortable asking me for help when needed. Not wanting Mom to teach them seems to be a stage children grow through. Rather like two year olds and tantrums. 🙂
Sara recently posted…Why I Start Planning With My Homeschool Schedule
Tina Robertson says
Yep, it’s one thing to test when a state requires it or even if you want it. Nothing ever wrong with it, we just have to always understand why.
Yep, each kid is different and I find the same thing, that sometimes they need less input as they get older. Don’t you love it when they still feel comfortable asking you questions? I think that is how it should be and yes, I think the same way — it is a stage, but then that is what we want – educational independence and self-starters.
It’s a double edge sword for sure. You want them to take instruction, but not smother them either..lol So hard to do for any parent!
Love your comments always Sara!
Misty says
I agree! We do test, but only because my husband insists on it. I find that as parents educating our children we KNOW whether or not they are learning the material. I don’t need a test to tell me that 🙂
I also cringe when I hear parents say “They need to go to school, because they won’t listen or learn for me”. I think that says a lot about the parent, NOT the child. School is not going to teach obedience.
Good post! I came over from Hip Homeschool Hop 🙂
Tina Robertson says
Hey Misty,
Thanks for scooting by!! Glad to have you here. I did the same thing too and tested my kids, but it quickly passed too because what I was teaching them was not always the same information on the test. It got harder after a few years, but some states or uhmm that is Dads require it..lol Yep, each family needs to do what they feel comfortable with and like you said, because we are with them, we know what they are learning.
Yep, the second myth is always so touchy because sometimes homeschooling is a great catch all or blame for a lack of parenting. Sometimes there is not anything a parent can do and it gets more dicey as kids approach adulthood, but it is always a great self-examination question.
Thanks for being here, enjoyed your comment!!